Avoid this movie! (It's All About Love - spoilers)

Discussion in 'Movies' started by SteveGon, Mar 28, 2006.

  1. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    So I'm at the video store and see a new movie starring Joaquin Phoenix, Claire Danes and Sean Penn. It's called It's All About Love. Some sort of futuristic suspenser. What's this I thought? Never heard of it before. Sounds suspicious. My fingers twitch - should I pick it up? I see it's rated R. Hmmm, maybe Claire gets naked? Worth a shot I guess.

    So Joaquin plays this Polish dude (with an on/off accent) who is enroute to Canada but stops over in New York to have his wife sign their divorce papers. Claire plays the wife, a famous also-Polish figure skater with the same accent problem. The year is 2021 and people are dropping dead of a strange heart malady. Most affected are the lonely and heart-broken. Joaquin steps over the dead body of one such victim while walking through an airport. Meanwhile there are news reports of a strange loss of gravity in Uganda. [​IMG]

    So Joaquin meets his wife only to discover that she is at the heart of some sort of conspiracy. She wants to retire. This would leave her entourage out in the cold. Since it's snowing in July and the media are theorizing the advent of a new ice age, I guess they'd literally be out in the cold as well. Anyway, they've replaced her with a clone. No, make that two clones. No, make that three. Or maybe they're just doubles? Whatever. They also plan to kill Claire and Joaquin. So a hitman (not Tonya Harding) shows up, but since his wife likes Claire, he kills the doubles (I think that's the reason). Then Joaquin, Claire and her hanger-on brother run off to Canada where they're stranded in the wilds during a blizzard. And they all freeze to death. The movie ends with a shot of a bunch of Ugandans floating in the air.

    Oh yeah, Sean Penn plays Joaquin's brother. He spends the entire movie in an airplane waxing about love. He also has a bad accent.

    Claire didn't even get naked. When does Shopgirl come out?
     
  2. Haggai

    Haggai Producer

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    Well, that sounds...er, not so good. Too bad, I see it was directed by Thomas Vinterberg. He also did The Celebration, which I liked a lot, although I only saw it once, about 6 or 7 years ago.

    Good line about Tonya Harding. [​IMG]
     
  3. Brook K

    Brook K Lead Actor

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    Damn it Steve, I thought I was almost done with new movies for awhile. Flying Ugandans? There's no way I can't rent this. (plus I just watched the much-maligned Dear Wendy, also by Vinterburg, and thought it was very good)

    Better make sure George sees this post. Sounds like this would be right up his alley.

    If it's celebrity nudity you're itching for, check out Manderlay for a full frontal Bryce Dallas Howard.
     
  4. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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    Sounds like a winner, someone find Brook K! [​IMG]

    EDIT: erm, nevermind [​IMG].

    --
    H
     
  5. Rich Malloy

    Rich Malloy Producer

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    Haven't heard of this film (Vinterberg, eh?), but your description... has me interested! So I looked around, and nearly everything written about the film (at least by critics worth reading) bear the same tone. Consider Dennis Lim's writeup:



    If it's as bad as all that, someone needs to lay the real smackdown so I don't waste a Netflix rental... [​IMG]
     
  6. Michael Reuben

    Michael Reuben Studio Mogul

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    I wouldn't put the film in the same class as Code 46 and demonlover, both of which were watchable despite their flaws. The only thing that keeps you watching It's All About Love is the trainwreck factor. SteveGon's plot summary is very accurate, and much better than anything I could have done.

    M.
     
  7. Brook K

    Brook K Lead Actor

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    I was tickled by this excerpt from a review at Netflix:



    I added it to my queue. It's All About Love that is, I'm not touching Ladder 49.
     
  8. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    I'd sooner sit through this again than attempt to rewatch i am sam. Ye gods that movie made me want to retch (had to shut it off halfway through).

    I imagine this has only been released due to Joaquin's rise in stature after Walk the Line.

    It's All About Love has the dubious honor of receiving my first BOMB rating of 2006 (though it's not nearly as offensive as the recipient of my last bomb award, The Exorcism of Emily Rose).
     
  9. Mark Schmitt

    Mark Schmitt Stunt Coordinator

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    I worked at a test screening of this once, oh, about 3 years ago or so, and although I didn't watch it unitl the last ten minutes, I saw the audience reaction. There was a lot of snickering, for lack of a better word. That is, until one guy yelled out, "This movie sucks!" at the very end (when the Ugandians were floating) and everybody cracked up.

    I don't think they ever released this in theaters anywhere. I always had wondered what had happened to it, but after seeing the comments afterward (about 80% or so absolutely hated it), I wasn't surprised it was shelved.
     
  10. Michael Elliott

    Michael Elliott Lead Actor

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    Hmm...Manderlay just opened here last weekend.

    As for this film, thanks Steve!!! [​IMG] I rented DIRTY LOVE after reading Ebert's "No Star" review so I'll do the same with Steve and this film. It can't be any worse......
     
  11. Hunter P

    Hunter P Screenwriter

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    I think this would have clued me in but I'm no movie actor so what do i know?[​IMG]

    Was she wearing "Bad Idea Jeans" at the time?[​IMG]
     
  12. James@R

    [email protected] Second Unit

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    LOL...that was my first thought as well. [​IMG]
     
  13. David (C)

    David (C) Stunt Coordinator

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    Thomas Vinterberg took two and a half years to write the script.

    IMDB
     
  14. Elijah Sullivan

    Elijah Sullivan Supporting Actor

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    Wow, there sure is a lot of people knocking this movie and not a whole lot of people actually watching it.

    I've seen it.

    I liked it.

    It's not perfect; the obviously-dubbed Joaquin Phoenix is a big problem, as he out-acts himself in Walk the Line but still manages to be merely adequate because every one of his lines is undermined.

    Claire Danes flat-out sucks. Pretty, but this performance is terrible.

    Sean Penn's role is interesting, but will disappoint anyone renting the film to see him. I thought he was terrific.

    The film itself was damned good - loved the script, the directing, the photography, the concept, really good music... but uneven.

    I'd give it *** out of ****.

    Seriously, if you like mainstream movies, you are going to snicker the whole way through. If you like alternative stuff - a few of you mentioned Manderlay - then check it out. You might hate it, you might love it.

    But, for god's sake, see it before posting anymore snide comments.
     
  15. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    Well, I did see it and I usually go for for alternative movies over mainstream fare. I've also seen thousands of films. I know a trainwreck when I see one.

    To its credit I don't hate It's All About Love like other films I've given a bomb rating to. It isn't intellectually insulting like The Exorcism of Emily Rose and it isn't pandering tripe in the vein of Armageddon. It just ain't very good. [​IMG]
     
  16. Bill McA

    Bill McA Producer

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    Well, if non-removable Russian subtitles are your thing Steve, go for it [​IMG]

    Or you could just pick up the 2-disc Special Edition DVD from Denmark.

    Or you could just wait for the eventual R1 version, which will most likely be released by MGM, and will probably not be a 2-disc Special Edition.
     
  17. Brook K

    Brook K Lead Actor

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    The disc from Denmark is definitely the one to get. The expense of ordering it is the only reason I don't have it. I'm just not keen on paying more than $25 for 1 movie, even one I liked as much as Manderlay. Remember the good old days when a Euro was about 80 cents?
     
  18. Joel C

    Joel C Screenwriter

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    Wow, it sounds even WORSE than Dear Wendy, which was near total ass, but at least was kind of entertaining in a painful way.
     

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