Anyone else have a FEAR of DATING??? (1 Viewer)

[AllanN]

I'm very impressed by manners and men who open doors for me (especially car doors).

Being the type of man who always opens (and closes) car doors there is one thing I look for on a first date: Will the women reach over and unlatch my door, points are taken off if they don't, extra points are taken off if its raining.
Things I look for in a women:
college educated (can open, worms everywhere)
non-dialy smoker (I cant say non-smoker because I smoke sometimes when im out at the bar/club.)
virgin (Because I am to.)

 

[Jenna]

Things I look for in a women:
college educated: (can open, worms everywhere)

AllanN, OK...I admit that I left THIS off my requirement listing for men because I was trying to be PC...but if you have the courage to put it out there, then so can I. I respect someone more if they have a college degree. There, I said it. (more worms everywhere)
BTW, if a man opens my car door, I ALWAYS reach over and unlock his door. If they don't open my door, I just may reach over and lock theirs...especially if it's raining.
...just kidding...

 

[Aurel Savin]

Will the women reach over and unlatch my door, points are taken off if they don't, extra points are taken off if its raining.

HAhahahaha ... that is the first test I go for also. The first time I saw it was in A Bronx Tale. As Sonny said ... forget the "Mario test" ... they gotta pass the "Door Test"

To me this is important in a weird way as it shows she cares right away and thinks about me. This happening on a first date is a major bonus.

Oh yeah ... I refuse to date selfish women, ones that talk about themselves endlesly and it's always me, me, me!!!

I actually took a girl home about a month ago that I had a good time with for a few dates ... on the third date it was an endless rant about what she likes and how she should be taken care of ... There are some things that I hear that are ultimate turnoffs. Needless to say that was the last time I saw her.

Man of man ... it is hard to find someone compatible.

 

[AllanN]

To me this is important in a weird way as it shows she cares right away and thinks about me. This happening on a first date is a major bonus.

Exactly, I dated a girl once who would just sit there, drove me nuts.

 

[Jenna]

I refuse to date selfish women, ones that talk about themselves endlesly and it's always me, me, me!!!

Same goes for men. My most recent foray into dating was with "E". I'd return his daily calls and innocently say "what's new?"...well, believe me, he'd tell me! I literally got a play-by-play of everything he did all day. My eyes ached from rolling back in my head as I listened as he painstakingly recounted more details than anyone would EVER want to hear about anyone. I could, literally, lay the phone down, go get a beverage, and come back before he finished! After a while, I had to start lying and said "oh, the battery in my phone is almost dead, I'll have to call you back later." The guy went on and on about himself. A total bore-fest for the ears.

 

[AllanN]

Same goes for men. My most recent foray into dating was with "E". I'd return his daily calls and innocently say "what's new?"...well, believe me, he'd tell me! I literally got a play-by-play of everything he did all day. My eyes ached from rolling back in my head as I listened as he painstakingly recounted more details than anyone would EVER want to hear about anyone. I could, literally, lay the phone down, go get a beverage, and come back before he finished! After a while, I had to start lying and said "oh, the battery in my phone is almost dead, I'll have to call you back later." The guy went on and on about himself. A total bore-fest for the ears.

I cant stand talking about my day or listening to someone drone on about theres. My day already happened to me once. A quick recap of the highs and the lows and that is it. Its time to relax or move onto something more interesting.

 

[Dean DeMass]

Dean, it's nice to hear that you have standards for yourself and refuse to change them. Respect for yourself is equally important as having respect for the one you date.

Jenna,
Thanks. I refuse to stoop to the Macho/Jerk level to get what I want. Finding a good companion is hard. My ex and I had it for awhile, but it then wore off. Shit like that happens and that is why no more marriage for me.
Personally, I like opening doors for girls and ordering for them. Every girl I have gone out with likes it as well. I have never been with a girl that was "turned-off" because I was a gentleman. It was more of a "turn-on" for them.
Lets see, I have a college degree, a job, my own home, a nice car, no face piercings, not married, no beer gut, don't smoke, and can fix a leaky sink. The girls should be knocking down my door any second.
-Dean-

 

[AllanN]

Personally, I like opening doors for girls and ordering for them.

Do most women out there like there dates to order for them (assuming that you ask them what they want)? Is this common practice? I have never done this because it seems a bit to overbearing to me. IMHO. My last girlfriend got upset because I never let her order first. I usually ordered first because the waiter always seemed to look in my direction first.
As everyone can tell its a slow day at work. :frowning: So that is how my day is going.

 

[Dean DeMass]

Do most women out there like there dates to order for them (assuming that you ask them what they want)?

I would ask if they would want me to order for them. If they did, I would. What I consider odering for them is them telling me what they want and then I tell the server. It is just being a middle-man.
-Dean-

 

[Jenna]

Allan, I *LOVE* when my date places our orders with the waiter...and I suspect it's an etiquette-thing as most waiters seem to look toward the man first. (The same thing when presenting the check to the man.) After you've both looked over the menu, your date should voice her preference to you before the waiter arrives, then you should place her order first ("the lady will have the shrimp scampi, and I'll have the prime rib"), then place your wine/drink order accordingly. After you've done this a couple times, your lady will defer the ordering to you.
I'm sure there are those women who prefer to place their complicated/picky orders themselves (think Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally")...but it's always more gallant when the man places the order (IMO).
[I'm sure James Bond would always place the order for his women IF they ever left the bedroom.]

 

[Patrick Sun]

Hmm...I first let the lady order what she wants (she knows exactly how she wants it, no point in being the middle man), and then I order my meal after hers. Maybe I'm more into hoping a lady is independent in that fashion.

 

[Julie K]

If someone - man, woman, small furry creature from Alpha Centauri, whatever - tried to order for me I'd rip their head off and have it for an appetizer.

But fortunately for all I'm not in the dating field. I'm more glad than I can adequately express that I don't need to put up with either cultural anachronisms or with immature macho jerks who think their simian posturing will somehow impress me.

 

[Patrick Sun]

Whew, Julie, I'm glad you're out there. You give me hope.

 

[AllanN]

I'm sure there are those women who prefer to place their complicated/picky orders themselves

lol, I was thinking about When Harry Met Sally even before I finished the above quote. I just watched that movie this weekend.

 

[Jenna]

What, hope of getting your head ripped off for being polite???
Independence and MANNERS are two different things. I fail to see how a well-mannered man can threaten a woman's sense of self-reliance.
It's NOT that the guy decides WHAT you're going to eat, it's simply that he's being courteous to place the order for you. Of course, threatenting to rip his head off somewhat defeats the purpose of his need to be polite to you in the first place. :rolleyes

 

[Julie K]

I fail to see how a well-mannered man can threaten a woman's sense of self-reliance.

One's person's good manners is another person's condescension or rudeness.

I see no benefit in relaying an order through a guy if I'm sitting right there at the table and in full possession of my vocal facilities.

 

[Max Leung]

In my neck of the woods, I've never seen a man order for a woman in any Western restaurant I've been to (yeah, I accidently eavesdrop on other people...I'm a sociologist at heart). Must be a Canadian thing, eh? Maybe ordering on behalf of your date is still a fad in the eastern areas of the United States, of those in the upper-middle-class stratum?
Now, it does seem that in Chinese restaurants the men (of chinese background) typically order for everyone at the table. However, this is understandable as the food is not usually custom-ordered for each guest, as the plates are meant to be shared by everyone. Y'know...food placed on those rotating platter thingies?
But, such mannerisms are rather superficial anyways, although they are fun to talk about. Pride and Prejudice, anyone?

 

[Julie K]

I've certainly never heard anything of the sort out here in southern California, Max. Personally, I'd find it very rude to have someone tell the waiter what I want, even if it is a simple order (stick a hunk of meat in the fire and bring it to me after a bit.)

If a man wants to order for a woman he should ask her if that would be ok with her. If a woman wants a man to order for she should ask if he would do so. The party that asks should be accepting of a "no" answer and not press matters. Naturally, if there's a incompatibility I would doubt there would be a follow up date.

 

[Jeffery Fisher]

Too much for me, as matter of fact I like dating.

 

[Jenna]

I have never been with a girl that was "turned-off" because I was a gentleman. It was more of a "turn-on" for them.

Dean, I'm sure the majority of the female population do appreciate a gentleman. There will always be those few who feel threatened and get angry when a man opens doors for them, orders for them, or offers to change their flat tire...for whatever reasons. I guess it just depends on where and how you were raised. For most women, polite manners and good breeding will always be a turn-on.

Unfortunately, I know of several men who hesitate to open doors anymore, for fear of being snapped at by overly-independent women. Yes, these women are in full possession of the ability to move their extremities...but if manners were based soley on "ability" rather than simple acts of kindness and upbringing, it'd be a great loss to society.