Directors Another Crazy Brian Thingy! (1 Viewer)

[george kaplan]

The Home Life of an Adventurer

 

[Ric Bagoly]

The Home Life Of An Adventurer

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

The Home Life of an Adventurer

 

[Brian Kissinger]

And Scott breaks the tie for The Home Life of an Adventurer.

On we move to other round 2 match.

[c]Coming this summer....

...several times....

...from the producers of I'm a Clueless Bastard and I'm Ruining Brian's Game Right Now...

...is....

Babs' Demonic Orgy

Starring:

Jake Gittes (Chinatown)

Severen (Near Dark)

Garrett Breedlove (Terms of Endearment)

and

Barbara Streisand (as herself)[/c]


After a wild post-People's Choice Awards bash, two of Jack Nicholson's randier alter egos loudly announce a swinging sex orgy. All the curviest and nubilestest young starlets will all be in attendance and also played by the likes of Thora Birch, Christina Ricci, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Emily Mortimer and that Willow chick from Buffy. (Each actress has nullified their respective anti-bare boobie clause in their contracts.)

All is suitably sticky and sweet when that undead bastard from Near Dark shows up. Bellowing loudly and wielding all sorts of demonically-shaped sex toys, Severen insists that he be satisfied "beyond all measure" by one of the orgy guests. Breedlove offers up Ms. Barbara Streisand and the party's just beginning...

Written by David Mamet, both Coens, one Wachowski and seven Baldwins...

Directed by John Derek.
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VERSUS
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[c]Time Kills[/c]



The setting: post-apocalyptic New York, which has survived World War III relatively unscathed.

In the near future, a scientific experiment goes horribly awry: a time machine has been developed, but its maiden voyage doesn't have quite the desired results. Instead of moving backwards in time as its developers intended (they wanted to stop World War III from happening), the machine disrupts the flow of space-time on Earth which merges the past and present. Our planet becomes a crazy-quilt of different times, with denizens of each era crossing over into other time zones. Needless to say, chaos rules the day.

"Popeye" Doyle, the hero cop from The French Connection, is assigned to investigate a series of grisly hooker murders. The modus operandi points to the infamous Jack the Ripper. Could the Victorian villain be prowling the streets of modern-day New York? Yep!

Unfortunately, the aging Doyle must work by himself as the hectic world situation is given higher priority by his superiors. You see, things are just plain crazy: a tyrannosaurus rex just ate the mayor, Adolf Hitler is giving a speech in Times Square, pirates are raping and pillaging on Long Island, and a tribe of very irate Indians have turned up demanding the return of Manhattan. Add to that the fact that Jack the Ripper is a crafty s.o.b. and you've got one frustrated old cop. Then Snake Plissken turns up. He's looking for Jack as well. Turns out that the killer has offed one of Snake's favorite girls. Joining Popeye and Snake in their manhunt is baseball legend Mickey Mantle. He comes to them with trusty bat in hand, ready to help rid the Big Apple of its latest scourge.

Can Popeye, Snake, and Mickey stop Jack the Ripper before he makes his next kill? More importantly, does this movie feature gratuitous hot lesbian action? You'll have to watch it to find out!

 

[SteveGon]

Abstain

 

[Brad Porter]

Time Kills - I like the premise.

Brad

 

[JenB]

Time Kills-Close one

 

[Ric Bagoly]

Time Kills

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

Time Kills

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Sorry about the delay. I have been rather busy as of late, and I do apologize.

THE FINAL ROUND

OPC Productions presents a John Frankenheimer film

THE HOME LIFE OF AN ADVENTURER

It's 1969, and former Navy Seal Frederick Magnuson (Alan Swann, "My Favorite Year") is living a civilian's life with his loving but Women's Libber wife Laura (Mrs. Robinson, "The Graduate") and his aspiring scientist son William (Marty McFly, "Back To The Future") in Los Angeles, California. One day, while working on a flying contraption, William is seized by a trio of Manson-family style Y/Hippies. The man of the group is Lazarus Ingraham (Pumkin, "Pulp Fiction") and his two free-loving wives are named Lisa and Wendy (played by Thelma and Louise from the movie of the same name). William has been kidnapped because the Ingrahams need his mechanical expertise to build an airplane to get them into Seaside Federal Bank for a terrorist attack. Now, Frederick, with the assistance of Laura and William's friend Stevie (Jay Phat Buds, the Jersey "Trilogy") will use all of his Navy Seal training to get back his son.

You'll never settle down when you have...

THE HOME LIFE OF AN ADVENTURER

An exciting new movie from the producers of "New Jersey Dust" and the Oscar-winning "Dancing Through Time".

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VERSUS
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[c]Time Kills[/c]



The setting: post-apocalyptic New York, which has survived World War III relatively unscathed.

In the near future, a scientific experiment goes horribly awry: a time machine has been developed, but its maiden voyage doesn't have quite the desired results. Instead of moving backwards in time as its developers intended (they wanted to stop World War III from happening), the machine disrupts the flow of space-time on Earth which merges the past and present. Our planet becomes a crazy-quilt of different times, with denizens of each era crossing over into other time zones. Needless to say, chaos rules the day.

"Popeye" Doyle, the hero cop from The French Connection, is assigned to investigate a series of grisly hooker murders. The modus operandi points to the infamous Jack the Ripper. Could the Victorian villain be prowling the streets of modern-day New York? Yep!

Unfortunately, the aging Doyle must work by himself as the hectic world situation is given higher priority by his superiors. You see, things are just plain crazy: a tyrannosaurus rex just ate the mayor, Adolf Hitler is giving a speech in Times Square, pirates are raping and pillaging on Long Island, and a tribe of very irate Indians have turned up demanding the return of Manhattan. Add to that the fact that Jack the Ripper is a crafty s.o.b. and you've got one frustrated old cop. Then Snake Plissken turns up. He's looking for Jack as well. Turns out that the killer has offed one of Snake's favorite girls. Joining Popeye and Snake in their manhunt is baseball legend Mickey Mantle. He comes to them with trusty bat in hand, ready to help rid the Big Apple of its latest scourge.

Can Popeye, Snake, and Mickey stop Jack the Ripper before he makes his next kill? More importantly, does this movie feature gratuitous hot lesbian action? You'll have to watch it to find out!

 

[Brad Porter]

More importantly, does this movie feature gratuitous hot lesbian action? You'll have to watch it to find out!

I must know. Project Greenlight 3 awards the screenplay choice to Time Kills.

Brad

 

[SteveGon]

Abstain

 

[Ric Bagoly]

Time Kills

 

[Brian Kissinger]

Well, with a resounding 2 votes, it's time to declare our winner!



Time Kills
is our winner!


And just for fun, I'm going to pit our winner (penned by SteveGon) against my first rough draft I did in a hurry. I eventually scrapped it, and went with The Dutch Oven.
Please vote, or just leave comments or whatever. I'd love to know if you think my new one is better or worse than Oven.


__________________________________________________ __________

[c]Time Kills[/c]



The setting: post-apocalyptic New York, which has survived World War III relatively unscathed.

In the near future, a scientific experiment goes horribly awry: a time machine has been developed, but its maiden voyage doesn't have quite the desired results. Instead of moving backwards in time as its developers intended (they wanted to stop World War III from happening), the machine disrupts the flow of space-time on Earth which merges the past and present. Our planet becomes a crazy-quilt of different times, with denizens of each era crossing over into other time zones. Needless to say, chaos rules the day.

"Popeye" Doyle, the hero cop from The French Connection, is assigned to investigate a series of grisly hooker murders. The modus operandi points to the infamous Jack the Ripper. Could the Victorian villain be prowling the streets of modern-day New York? Yep!

Unfortunately, the aging Doyle must work by himself as the hectic world situation is given higher priority by his superiors. You see, things are just plain crazy: a tyrannosaurus rex just ate the mayor, Adolf Hitler is giving a speech in Times Square, pirates are raping and pillaging on Long Island, and a tribe of very irate Indians have turned up demanding the return of Manhattan. Add to that the fact that Jack the Ripper is a crafty s.o.b. and you've got one frustrated old cop. Then Snake Plissken turns up. He's looking for Jack as well. Turns out that the killer has offed one of Snake's favorite girls. Joining Popeye and Snake in their manhunt is baseball legend Mickey Mantle. He comes to them with trusty bat in hand, ready to help rid the Big Apple of its latest scourge.

Can Popeye, Snake, and Mickey stop Jack the Ripper before he makes his next kill? More importantly, does this movie feature gratuitous hot lesbian action? You'll have to watch it to find out!

__________________________________________________ __________

VERSUS
__________________________________________________ __________

The Following Preview has been rated Restricted by the Motion Picture Association of America

(Screen is black)
(Cool Voice-Over Guy’s Voice comes on)

In a World of chaos, evil rules the streets! Peace-lovin’ folk are no longer safe!

The picture of a billiards hall in a torrential downpour flashes across the screen in a quick flash like lightning as a thunder clap booms throughout all speakers. Screen quickly goes back to black.

One man has taken control of the entire Troy, Ohio underground. And he rules with an iron fist!

The screen flashes again with quick shots of children crying, houses with broken windows, and an empty pop tart box and then goes black again.

All who dare cross him pay! All who dare go head-to-head against his control die! And all who dare love him, cry.

The screen now comes to life with the sight of a sobbing girl with her head in her arms. Her face is not visible. She weeps loudly. The camera pans across what is now a visible pool hall. The camera moves slowly from pool table to pool table until it comes focused on a door. The door has one simple word labeled across it: Manager. The door slowly opens to reveal a figure seated behind a desk with his legs propped up upon the desk. His face is hidden by the battered fedora on his head. His head slowly tilts upward while cool-ass music plays to reveal his identity. It’s Pepe Le Pew!

Under the guise of a billiards establishment, this evil bastard runs everything foul in town. Drugs, hookers, corrupt cops, cockfighting, politicians! But the good-hearted and kind people of Troy can only be pushed so far.

The screen cuts to Rick (Tom Hanks of Bachelor Party fame) with a tear in his eye. He speaks with that Oscar winning dialog of his. “Honey, we can’t take this anymore. Junior has the genital lice from them women of his. Our house is being foreclosed. And a damn game of pool now costs six damn dollars! We have to stop this!”

The screen cuts to Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) winking at the camera. “Huh huh huh,” Foley laughs in his trademark way at the camera. Quickly the camera cuts to Foley jumping a motorcycle over a car and flying off onto a running Leonard ("Warthog from Hell") Smalls. Foley knocks him to the ground. “Got your ass Sucka!” he yells. Leonard rolls over, “What the Hell are you doing Foley?” “Oops” says Foley. I thought you were my old lady , huh huh huh huh! Hey buddy, lets go kill someone.”

The screen goes back to Rick. “And the damn police are in his back pocket! I have to do it. I’m calling him!”
The screen cuts to his lovely wife who is undressing for bed and is wearing only a thong. “It’s useless. Pepe will just kill him. Just like he did with the A-Team.”
Back to Rick. “No, you don’t know my crazy cousin who toured in Nam with the special forces unit. He killed more men then the black plague. He was held captive for 28 years and lived on only his own feces and the burning intent to kill. He broke free and single-handedly killed everyone . .He spent another 14 years living with an ancient, wise Chinaman where he learned 703 styles of lethal Kung Fu. When he finally returned home from the war, he was ridiculed by protesters who he quickly killed without blinking. He was then taken to prison, where he spent 45 years in the solitary confinement “hole.” Each day he went a little more mad until he broke free again, and killed everyone in California. He hasn’t killed in three days, and he’s hungry. He’ll save us.”
Back to Rick’s wife who now is completely naked. “What’s to stop him from killing us?”
Back to an extreme close-up on Rick. “Because he wouldn’t hurt me.” Rick’s face becomes very grave and Oscar worthy. “When we were twelve, I saved his life. I threw myself in front of a rabid anteater that had escaped from the zoo. He ran and got help, but not before that anteater had spent several agonizing minutes with me and my loose-fitting shorts.” A tear rolls down Rick’s eye.

When there is no hope left, he will come!

The screen cuts to several violent images of exploding cars, decapitated bodies, naked chicks, fires, and a man’s silhouette walking out of the fire. As he nears the camera, his massively buff , shirtless body is revealed. It’s Draven (Steve Guttenberg )! He’s carrying the head of Axel Foley in his hand, and he’s got a real nasty kind of don’t-fuck-with-me look on his face.

The screen cuts to Pepe surrounded by his henchmen. “I want him Dead! I want his family Dead! I want the bitch he took to prom Dead!”

Cut to the obligatory scene of Draven weeping over his cousin Rick’s lifeless body. “You were the only thing good left in my life. I’ll get that son-of-a-bitch!”

The screen cuts to Draven kicking in the door to the pool hall. “Pepe, I‘m here for your soul!” he calls out .
“He’s not here, but I am.” The voice comes from the corner. The camera pans over to reveal the woman who was earlier weeping. It’s Ariel (The Little Mermaid), and she’s wearing a low-cut dress showing off her lovely new legs. The camera then flashes with quick scenes of Draven and Ariel getting it on. Of course it’s the tasteful kind of groping.

But what will happen when he falls for the wrong woman?

Cut to a scene of Pepe Le Pew holding a gun on Ariel. “I want you to bring him to me. Then I’ll give him the French Treatment!”

Cut to a scene of Draven cut and bleeding and muscles bulging. “PEPE!!!!!!” he wails in true Stallone fashion.

All of Hell will shake with his fury!

When the Balls Break

 

[SteveGon]

Well, since I already won....When the Balls Break.

 

[Brad Porter]

The screen cuts to his lovely wife...

Who are you getting to play the wife? It's kind of important. If you say Jennifer Connelly, then you get a vote. If you say Delta Burke, then you get a shiny new pair of eyeballs.

Can we recast the Draven part?

Brad

 

[Ric Bagoly]

no comment...

 

[JenB]

Time Kills

 

[Scott Van Dyke]

So?

What DVD did Steve get from Brian? I'm dying to find out...

 

[Brad Porter]

What DVD did Steve get from Brian?

Space herpes. :p)

Brad