And so my friend leaves a message that would make HTFers proud.

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Jack Briggs, Dec 12, 2003.

  1. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    It's not that I relish hearing the grating, Bronx-accented voice on my message machine when I return home at night. There are countless better ways of getting the evening underway.

    But this rambling, stumbling message was different. The thing had the makings of a decent After Hours post stamped all over it.

    Dave has been living happily with his new Panasonic CT-27D12D direct-view set and Sony 725 DVD player for weeks now. He can even operate the menu systems without having to call the only A/V freak he knows. And it's not unusual to come home to messages announcing the purchase of yet another DVD.

    From a friendship-threatening phase of slamming my obsession with DVD to building his own fledgling library of nearly twenty discs at this writing, Dave has slowly ascended the evolutionary ladder and come close to qualifying as a modern human.

    He is almost there.

    So, in crystal-clear digital playback on my new Motorola MD-480 2.14 gHz Space Command Astroblast nuclear-powered digital phone system, the gnaws-at-your-nerves voice prattled on with obvious enthusiam:

    "Jack, I picked up some new DVDs today. I'm gonna call you back, though, because I need your advice. I wanted to pick up an IMAX DVD, Blue Planet. But I was confused by the information on back.

    "It said, 'Standard Version: This film is presented in its theatrical aspect ratio.'

    "This isn't 'widescreen' is it, Jack? I don't want to get it if it's not widescreen."

    I couldn't help but smile. Even though my easily confused friend gets a lot, if not most, things wrong, Dave is clearly stumbling toward a higher state.

    He called me the next day at work.

    "Dave," I said to him, "don't choke on your Corn Flakes, but I'm really starting to be proud of you. Your heart is in the right place, and I'm going to tell around 40,000 of my favorite people about it."

    "What? That Home Theater Forum thing again?"

    "Right, Dave. They, like me, have been following your progress in human development."

    Then I launched into an easy-to-understand explanation for him.

    "Dave, just answer my questions here and I'll tell you about that Blue Planet disc.

    "Tell me what you first notice about the film and the screen when you go to an IMAX theater."

    "It's [explitive] big!"

    "True. But what else do you notice about the screen."

    "The sound's awesome!"

    "The screen, Dave, the screen. Not the speakers."

    Silence. And then a burst of Bronx brashness:

    "It's square!"

    "Right, Dave. So there you go. IMAX is current technology, but it's presented in the old-fashioned square shape that used to be universal.

    "So, buddy, I'm really happy here. You're asking all the right questions and your heart's in the right place. That couldn't always have been said about you. In fact, just the opposite. You've usually been a lou --"

    "OK, OK, I hear you. So I can go ahead and get this DVD?"

    "Yes, Dave, go get the DVD."

    Meanwhile, his new girlfriend is also purchasing DVDs for both herself and the lunk. Reinforcement. Hardly any propaganda was necessary.

    Will post again when his transformation into a human is complete.
     
  2. Peter Apruzzese

    Peter Apruzzese Producer

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    You should develop these "Dave" pieces into some longer essays, Jack.

    Or to add a dash of drama, you could fictionalize them nicely.
     
  3. Adil M

    Adil M Supporting Actor

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    Jack,
    I kind of like the Dave character. However, I don't like this Jack character. I think you've won me over. I don't know if I'd buy your book though, I might buy Dave's [​IMG].













    This is all tongue'ncheck.
     
  4. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    I think Jack should publish them in a compendium.

    Call it "Dave".
     
  5. Michael*K

    Michael*K Screenwriter

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  6. Garrett Lundy

    Garrett Lundy Producer

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    New Mac sweeeeeeeet[​IMG]
     
  7. Rob Gardiner

    Rob Gardiner Cinematographer

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    An image is forming in my head . . .

    The clouds have parted, a bright beam of light hits Dave on the head, bringing him enlightenment . . .

    He triumphantly throws his remote control into the sky . . .

    It gently tumbles, end over end, to the strains of ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA . . .
     
  8. Shane Martin

    Shane Martin Producer

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    /sarcasm
    Until Jack has physical photographic proof I remain a skeptic that Jack is just pulling our leg and making this up(Rather well I might add)

    /end sarcasm [​IMG]

    Jack,
    You know I mean no harm I'm just having fun. Sounds like Dave(or is it really Dave? [​IMG]), is growing into this hobby slowly but surely.
     
  9. John Thomas

    John Thomas Cinematographer

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    "OK, OK, I hear you. So I can go ahead and get this DVD?"

    "My mind's going, Dave."

    "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two."

    (I'm sure someone's already makde the connection, but..) [​IMG]
     
  10. Eric Samonte

    Eric Samonte Screenwriter

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    "You do not know the power of the Dark Side of the Force."...so sayeth Darth Vader......

    Or...."Dave...will I dream?"

    Dark is good, as in black bars up and down but only on 4:3 sets and wider than 1.85:1.
    Dream the dream and only if u follow it will it come to fruition.

    Friends like these only assure us of ascendancy in the great dance that is HT and upgrading. But if we for one moment become the snob that is the high end AV store salesman, then we have fallen from grace and made all those we need to guide thru the halls stray from the path....the path that has always led us closer.
     
  11. RobertR

    RobertR Lead Actor

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    I have trouble NOT hearing Jack say all this in a HAL voice. [​IMG]
     
  12. Chu Gai

    Chu Gai Lead Actor

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    Since when did people from da Bronx have an accent?
     
  13. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    I know, Chu. Kinda gets to you.

    And speaking of Bronx-accented messages on my new super-duper, Astroblast Space Command, nuclear-powered, cordless, digital phone/message system from Motorola, another one awaited me just yesterday upon returning home from some errand-running.

    In a loud, booming voice that taxed the limits of the base set's build quality, Dave chimed in with, "Damn you, Mr. Briggs! I knew this would happen if I ever got a DVD player. I'm addicted. I just spent $80 on DVDs at Best Buy. And I picked up Pride of the Yankees for only $10!"

    Mr. Cohen, of course, loves his home-town Bronx Bombers. And it was on the evening his beloved pinstripes succumbed to the upstart Florida Marlins that I set up his rudimentary system!

    And Dave may make his debut here at HTF pretty soon. He has been asking me about online price comparisons for DVDs. I told him we do that sort of stuff here. "My" Dave might meet "our" Dave Lambert is fairly short order. I will have to watch him closely. He once got booted off AOL. Should be fun.
     
  14. Joe Fisher

    Joe Fisher Screenwriter

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