an obituary

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by stewart borland, Mar 23, 2005.

  1. stewart borland

    stewart borland Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.

    Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

    His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place - reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled some in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
    [​IMG]
     
  2. Patrick_S

    Patrick_S Producer

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2000
    Messages:
    3,278
    Likes Received:
    102
    Trophy Points:
    4,110
    I didn't really find it a very clever post and I really can't see it going anywhere the Forum rules allow.
     
  3. stewart borland

    stewart borland Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Sorry Patrick, maybe it's a UK humour thing, I thought it was both funny and sadly too true in the UK.

    Just trying a little light relief - I thought this was an anything (jokes included) area - sorry to Mods if not. I'll go back to my Movies & TV DVD areas.
     
  4. Ron-P

    Ron-P Producer

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2000
    Messages:
    6,284
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Real Name:
    Ron
    It's funny, but more so, it's painfully true.
     
  5. Brian Harnish

    Brian Harnish Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    1,216
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I love this piece of satire! [​IMG]
     
  6. Jeff D Han

    Jeff D Han Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2003
    Messages:
    566
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    A painfully true obituary, and a funny, well-written
    one. Good job, Stewart. [​IMG]
     
  7. Patrick_S

    Patrick_S Producer

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2000
    Messages:
    3,278
    Likes Received:
    102
    Trophy Points:
    4,110
    It's just that it appears that many of the items you mentioned would take us into political areas. I guess you could skirt that all together but I don’t see how.

    Sorry if I came off as harsh with my review of the material’s humor but I just didn't find it witty or funny. Probably one of the reasons why is that the subject itself has already been done to death and that this take on it is not particularly original.
     
  8. Jeff D Han

    Jeff D Han Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2003
    Messages:
    566
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I agree, Patrick, that it isn't funny. Alot of
    it is unfortunately true. I also agree that these
    types of stories have been discussed adnauseum.
    Sometimes this forum is for people who want to
    vent, think out loud, spitball, etc, so I say
    VENT AWAY!!! [​IMG]
     
  9. Rob Gardiner

    Rob Gardiner Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2002
    Messages:
    2,950
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0

    McDonalds used to serve its coffee fifty degrees above the industry standard temperature. Common Sense says this is foolish and dangerous.

    The victim in this case suffered third degree burns over six percent of her body. She tried to settle with McDonalds for the cost of her medical bills, $20,000, but McDonalds refused. Common Sense says this would have been an equitable way to close the matter.

    When the case came to trial, the jury came up with an award in the millions (mostly punitive). However, the judge listened to the advice of his good friend, Common Sense, and reduced this award significantly.
     
  10. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2000
    Messages:
    8,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    He certainly didn't write it, I've seen it before.

    Truth and Trust indeed...

    --
    H
     
  11. Steve Kuester

    Steve Kuester Second Unit

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2001
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I've seen longer versions of this as well. I always thought it was pretty funny.

    He never never claimed he wrote it.





    It's amazing to me the amount of people who don't know how to do this.
     
  12. Edwin-S

    Edwin-S Lead Actor
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2000
    Messages:
    6,502
    Likes Received:
    515
    Trophy Points:
    9,110


    Frankly, I do not believe that it is entirely a matter of not knowing how to. It is in large part a matter of why should they. Our Capitalist consumer society does not value thriftiness. It values consumption on a grand scale; therefore, it sends out a cacaphony of messages urging people to spend, spend, spend. Easy credit, easy terms, no payment plans, etc., broadcast what is really valued in our society: conspicuous consumption. People are constantly bathed in media messages that show how the better half live. With such a constant media barrage it is not surprising that average people would spend beyond their means. After all, when people are constantly deluged with images of people enjoying 'The Good Life', they start asking, "why should they have to settle for breadsticks and water?"
     
  13. Steve Kuester

    Steve Kuester Second Unit

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2001
    Messages:
    271
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I guess I thought everyone knew this obituary (and variations of it) have been circulating for at least a few years now.


    I can't say you're wrong about society sending messages to spend, spend, spend. Still, I can't even fathom not living within my means. This is how much money I have - This is how much money I am able to spend. I could care less about what society says. It's just so simple. That's what I mean about people not knowing how. Maybe I should have worded it as people who "choose" not to.




    Back to the common sense topic...

    That's the thing about common sense, it's not all that common.

    (I've used this phrase for quite a while, and I have no idea if it's a quote or an original)
     
  14. stewart borland

    stewart borland Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Wow - (some of) the replies to this 'simple' little post just prove how accurate the one further down the list really is, about 'how many Forum Members does it take to change a light bulb'

    Thanks Steve, you're right, I didn't claim I wrote it, and I have no idea who did, or that when posting a simple little funny story that I had to acknowledge the author [​IMG]

    To those who enjoyed it at the level intended, I'm glad, and to those who took it way too seriously... take a chill pill [​IMG]

    Rob - no harm intended to the lady who got burned - you're not a lawyer who fights these type of claims are you?

    And since it's gone serious, can I just say.... The UK is sadly following the USA with companies constantly advertising 'no win no fee' claims for everything imagineable. Up goes insurance liability and common sense goes out the window - simple school playground games are banned in case a child is hurt and claims the school. All sorts of things are now no longer allowed... just in case.

    Another one over here was conkers in the playground (if you guys know what that is?) if the kids wanted to play it, they had to wear goggles in case the chestnut on the end of the string hit them in the eye! Been played for 100's of years without incident.

    How sad.
     
  15. Mort Corey

    Mort Corey Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2003
    Messages:
    981
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0


    Glad to see that we still do export something.....we're just trying to "level the playing field" [​IMG]

    Mort
     
  16. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2003
    Messages:
    12,013
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The article is fine and funny, but I agree with Patrick_S only in the case that the 'controversialness' of the piece is going to get debated here (as it already is) and it will cause heat.

    Ethnic jokes are funny too, but just imagine what would happen if you posted one here. [​IMG]
     
  17. Rob Gardiner

    Rob Gardiner Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2002
    Messages:
    2,950
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0

    No, I'm not a lawyer, just another fan of common sense, like everyone else here. It makes me upset to hear this woman's situation mocked, considering the circumstances. I realize that was not your intention, that you were just repeating this "obituary" piece without fact-checking every little bit.

    Forgive me for not posting the source of my info: an article on the matter, maintained at the website of the Association of Trial Lawyers of America.

    Just for the record, I hate frivolous lawsuits as much as the next guy, and I used to make fun of the woman who sued for millions for spilling hot coffee all over heself, but when I was clued in to the facts of the matter (by my roommate's attorney) I changed my tune.

    I disagree with one other specific part of your post, but I agree with the sentiment. Common Sense is lacking in today's world.
     
  18. Robert_Gaither

    Robert_Gaither Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,370
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    The funny part is many will agree with the sentiment posted, most will not follow it and prefer their life of hypocracy.[​IMG]
     

Share This Page