Advice on popping THE question....

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by AdrianOC, Feb 7, 2002.

  1. AdrianOC

    AdrianOC Stunt Coordinator

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    Hi all.
    This year my girlfriend and I will be heading to Orlando, Florida for a vacation. She has never really been anywhere outside Ireland so this is gonna be something special for her - I've been there about 7 time before so I know all the places to shop (eg Best Buy)! [​IMG]
    Anywhoo, I plan (and hope) to pop the question at that stage and I need ideas on where/how I should do it.
    Some friends here have given me contradicting advice on how I should do it - be it in a crowded area or when its just the two of us. Now I'm confused!
    So I need help - any ideas on how I should do this. What would make it something memorable(in a good way!!!)??
    Course I still have to work out what to say and how to word it as I'm not exactly known for my verbal dexterity! It could end up as "So, would ya?" [​IMG]
    Thanks in advance...
    Adrian
     
  2. Scott Leopold

    Scott Leopold Supporting Actor

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    If you're going to Disney World, I'd recommend doing it at night after a long day of fun, in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle with all the lights on it.
     
  3. Nathan*W

    Nathan*W Screenwriter

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  4. Greg Rowe

    Greg Rowe Stunt Coordinator

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    My biggest criteria was that I surprise my girlfriend. I did not, at all costs, want her to know it was coming.

    One of my ideas was to buy ad space at the theater that we frequent and have the ad ask her to marry me.

    The idea I settled on was to have my newborn niece ask her. This was accomplished with a letter from my niece (of course I wrote it, in crayon) saying that she wanted her to be her real aunt. I had the ring hidden in her crib.

    Worked out pretty well, she certainly didn't expect it then!

    If you are at Disney though... Maybe after a great day go see Illumination at Epcot and propose just before the end (because people rush out like crazy then).

    Good luck, be creative, and have fun!

    Greg
     
  5. Mark Schermerhorn

    Mark Schermerhorn Second Unit

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    Adrian: as far as whether to do it in a crowded place or alone depends on what she would be comfortable with. Would she feed off of strangers energy that see you propose to her? Or would she be embarrassed by all the people around? If so maybe doing it later in the evening when the park isn't very full might be a better idea, if you don't want it to be a totally private setting.
     
  6. KurtK

    KurtK Auditioning

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    Adrian,
    I had to laugh a bit when I read your post. You see, here's how I did it.
    I kidnapped my future bride by arranging with her work for 2 weeks off without her knowing about it. We were both living in Anchorage Alaska at the time.
    I gave her a day to pack, told her she needed to survive away from home for 2 weeks, and needed to dress to "ball-gown" levels for at least 7-8 nights.
    We then flew to London, without her knowing our final destination. She didn't know we were going to Ireland (insert [​IMG] here for the irony of your post, neither of us had ever been to Ireland before) until we boarded the flight to Shannon. We spent 5 nights at Adare Manor, and then moved up to Ashford Castle. On our 5th night there, before dinner, but after sunset, I told her to get dressed in whatever her favorite dress she felt in the mood for wearing that evening, and took her out to the battlement in front of the castle. I borrowed a candle stick from the dining room to find our way up the dark, winding, stone staircase.
    Alone, under the stars, looking out over the lake, I asked her.
    It's been fun to be able to point people to www.ashford.ie and show them where we got engaged. We went back up on the battlement the next day and took "engagement" pictures with the camera on a tripod and self timer.
    We're going back to get married at Ashford in three weeks.
    We're very private people, with few, but close friends, so it felt natural to us to have the moment completely to ourselves. I have friends who have proposed in public with strangers, or proposed in a planned party with friends. Each seemed to fit their style and moods well. Think about your relationship, how you prefer to share those special moments, with others, with strangers, or just the two of you.
    With this in mind, I second the suggestion to make use of the Disney staff and magical settings that are available there. Especially when you're not on your home turf (like the place you met, or first date or whatever) it's nice to have something you can share with others (a known location)who can't be there.
    As far was words, look inside your heart and think about why you're marrying her.... words may come.
    ~Kurt
     
  7. AdrianOC

    AdrianOC Stunt Coordinator

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    First off, thanks for all the replies and ideas. Keep 'em coming! [​IMG]
    KurtK,
    Here's something funny too - I live in Limerick - Shannon is maybe 15 minutes from my house and Adare is also in Co. Limerick. Small world, huh?
     
  8. KurtK

    KurtK Auditioning

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    It is a small world. On our engagement trip in Feb, 2001, we mostly went out from Adare west and south. But when we were back over there last November to work out the final details of the wedding, we stayed at Adare again for 4 days, and spent some time exploring Limerick itself. Even went to an '80's night dance club downtown one evening.

    You'll probably think we are nuts, but each time over, we put over 2,600 miles on the rental car, exploring from the southwest tip, Kerry, and Dingle, all the way up north through most of Donegal.

    I hope the best for your engagement. It's a magical time.

    ~Kurt
     
  9. Jason Handy

    Jason Handy Second Unit

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    When I proposed to my wife, it was a very stressful time for me. I rented out the University ballroom on a weeknight near the end of the semester (May 1, 2000), and enlisted the help of a couple friends. I made a mix CD with songs that matched the schedule of my evening. My frind Jim picked Amy up in his red convertible ([​IMG]), and she came up to the ballroom that was dark except for a half-circle of ivory and red tea light candles, with petals from a dozen red roses scattered along the path she would take to the table I had set up.
    It was absolutely magical, surpassed in joy only by my wedding day. She had NO idea, and I had asked her on the pretense that it was our 1 year anniversary date. She had me on my knee for 15 minutes, babbling about how she was a dog person and I was a cat person and how she wanted 3 kids while I only wanted 2...yada yada yada. She asked to "try it on" but I told her she would have to say yes before she could wear it (cruelty...)
    Finally, the song came on...Marc Cohn's 'True Companion'. Cliche for sure, but man that worked like magic. We danced on the rose petals and she beckoned me to ask the question again. I can't even begin to describe how incredible it felt.
    OK...she had no idea it was coming; we had never talked about getting married, and I knew the only way I would get her to say yes would be to dazzle her senses. Apparently I succeeded [​IMG] My advice to you Adrian, is to stop and think about what will be most memorable for her. You want to make sure she is as comfortable as possible when you ask. And whatever you do, have a plan for both responses afterwards. From the sound of things she will say yes, and make sure you have an idea of what to do afterwards (wink wink, nudge nudge [​IMG]). If she can't answer you right away, plan for that too and have something fun to do to take both your minds off the serious mood.
    Good luck...you are about to embark on the best journey of your life!
    Jason
     
  10. Janna S

    Janna S Second Unit

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    I thought this might be coming! COngratulations!
    Maybe I can send you a Star Wars poster as an engasgement gift . . .[​IMG]
     
  11. Jeffrey_Jones

    Jeffrey_Jones Second Unit

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    Hi,
    My advice is to keep it simple and traditional...unless she is into wacky.
    My fiancée (girlfriend at the time) and I were in Virginia over Christmas vacation. I reserved the best room in a beautiful old Maryland manor (Stone Manor) and made dinner reservations as well. We spent the day touring the small town and just having fun. It is imperative that the day leading up to the proposal be as wonderful as possible. Resist the urge to bicker about anything. Be on your best behavior...but don't act nervous or you will blow your cover.
    After dinner but before dessert I got up to give her a kiss. I bent down on one knee (don't underestimate the importance of this action) pulled out the box and presented it to her. She looked stunned, open the box...looked even more stunned...and started to cry. It was several minutes before she blurted out the yes that I had been waiting for. We didn't know it but the whole restaurant was watching us and they started to clap when she said yes. She love it!
    It turned out that we were surrounded by people who were celebrating their wedding anniversaries. Some ten years, some thirty years, and one 45 year. It was nice to get engaged surrounded by all that long term success!
    Have fun, and try to surprise her. Good luck!
    Thanks,
    Jeff
    PS - Don't plan on much after the proposal. Meg couldn't eat her dessert and spent the next hour on the phone with everyone she has ever known. I spent that time basking in the glory of a successful proposal [​IMG]
     
  12. John_Bonner

    John_Bonner Supporting Actor

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    Adrian,

    I also proposed to my wife on a vacation. I was so nervous and excited I asked her on the first night we were there and I'm glad I did. It made the vacation that much more special and memorable. She was so excited she kept announcing it to every hotel clerk, waiter/waitress, cabbie, tour guide, etc. and it seemed like the whole trip we were treated like royalty since our excitement and happiness was infectious. Enjoy your trip, take a deep breath and just do it when the time feels right. Best of Luck to you both!

    Slainte!!!!
     
  13. Moe Maishlish

    Moe Maishlish Supporting Actor

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    I not married, and don't have a girlfriend... but I gotta tell you guys I'm getting a real kick out of hearing some of these stories...

    (shucks... don't tell anyone, but I'm real sappy romantic at heart. :b )

    Keep 'em coming boys!

    Moe.
     
  14. SteveA

    SteveA Supporting Actor

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    Whatever you end up planning, be prepared to "call an audible" if needed. A totally spontaneous moment might arise that's even better than what you had planned. Just a thought. Keep the ring with you before hand just in case!
     
  15. Scott Leopold

    Scott Leopold Supporting Actor

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    I've actually been an integral part of two proposals in my life. When I was waiting tables, one of my customers informed me that he was going to propose just before dinner. Per his wishes, I came out after the meal and asked if they'd care for desert. I showed the desert tray, and they each picked what they wanted. When I came back, I informed the girl that we had just sold the last piece of whatever it was she had ordered. I told her, though, that after several years experience I was a good judge of character and thought I knew which desert would suit her best. She finally agreed to take what I picked, and that's when I set the plate in front of her with the ring on it. It was easily in my top 37 most enjoyable experiences while waiting tables (I had a lot of fun waiting tables).

    The other was my own proposal. While it wasn't planned or elaborate, it still worked out wonderfully. I had been having a terrible time and couldn't decide where our relationship was heading. We had had a rather mediocre evening together, and I could tell we were bothing having a hard time pondering our relationship. We lay on her parents' couch watching TV, holding each other, and not really talking other than the occasional nod or mumble. Finally, I looked down at her and just knew. I told her I had a question, and that I was serious. I think she expected a break up. Instead, I asked her if she thought she'd like to get married. The timid look and welling tears vanished instantly as she said yes. We spent the rest of the night holding each other and talking about our plans. I asked her at least a dozen more times if she really meant it. We decided not to tell anyone until we had a ring, and could barely keep it to ourselves for the two months it took to find one just right. That was just over 8 years ago, and we've been just as happy & just as in love as we were that night ever since.
     
  16. AdrianOC

    AdrianOC Stunt Coordinator

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    Thanks everyone - your ideas so far have been great! Gonna have to compile a list of the best suggestions! [​IMG]
    The idea is also to possibly check for a ring over there. There is a jeweller store that has been visited every time my mother has been over and she's become friends with the manager!! She has let him know that I might be calling in to him in september. She's really subtle about these things! [​IMG]
    I'm really looking forward to this trip.
    KurtK,
    I sometimes go to that 80's night in the Royal George Hotel but it has got to the stage that I feel REALLY old in there - I here people saying how they've never heard this song before or they thought this was a "insert latest boyband here" song! [​IMG]
    Janna S,
    Thanks! Still have my fingers crossed here! [​IMG]
    As always, more ideas are welcomed.
    Adrian
     
  17. John Spencer

    John Spencer Supporting Actor

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    Just tell her, "You know, since I'm planning on having sex with you, I might as well get a tax break for it."

    No, I'm not married. Why do you ask?
     
  18. Jason Handy

    Jason Handy Second Unit

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  19. Matthew Todd

    Matthew Todd Second Unit

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    Taxes are less for some couples who are married (me and my wife) than they were before. The way it works is your taxes will be less than if you were single if all the income comes from one of the spouses. If you both earn equal amounts, then you will pay more in taxes than if you were single.

    Matt
     
  20. Kevin Farley

    Kevin Farley Second Unit

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    Advice:

    Just be sure to be down on one knee. We have to keep the traditions alive, and chivalry is one of them. Plus, it is the only stylish way to do it.

    Kevin
     

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