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A Guy's rules.. (1 Viewer)

RobertR

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 19, 1998
Messages
10,675
Got these from a coworker. All in good fun :)

The Guys' Rules

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh!!
 

DavidAM

Second Unit
Joined
Sep 30, 2001
Messages
375


Remember, just because you read it doesn't mean everyone has seen it already. 99% of discussions on here have been discussed already....it would be a quiet forum if everyone did a search before posting.
 

Christ Reynolds

Senior HTF Member
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,597
Real Name
CJ
and posts like this have been following close behind. new members join here every day. if it isnt killing you to let threads like this remain open, i'd say save your breath.

CJ
 

Ron Etaylor

Second Unit
Joined
Feb 18, 2002
Messages
275
With respect to the post being old, here's another guy thing: If we think something is funny once, it gets funnier the more we hear/see/read it. i.e. Caddyshack, Blazing Saddles, 3 Stooges, et al.:)
 

StephenA

Screenwriter
Joined
Nov 30, 2001
Messages
1,512
Don't go moving stuff around or cleaning either, especially without asking. Guys hate that, I know I do. Stuff's there for a reason, and should be there when needed or wanted.
 

Marc_Sulinski

Supporting Actor
Joined
Jan 15, 2001
Messages
585

This is my favorite. I know this list is supposed to be only half serious, but I strongly agree with this one. The excuse about falling in is ridiculous. I obviously need the seat down on occassion and have never fallen in. I don't think many guys have.
 

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