The original post, which I had deleted at the request of Fox marketing has been located, with a huge thank you to Felix Martinez! I have shortened slightly, without changing the character of the piece. I will warn those who may not know my occasionally odd sense of humor, that this was written with: A. Steam being emitted from my ears, quite like an animated character; B. With about as much dry humour as might be mustered under the circumstances. C. As should be telegraphed by the final line.