Mark Zimmer
Senior HTF Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 1997
- Messages
- 4,318
Yes, regulation is a terrible thing, isn't it? Wouldn't you much, much prefer the following lifestyle of freedom?
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This morning I awoke to the sound of my non-UL listed non-FCC approved clock/radio. The electronic emissions caused the navigational systems of the plane flying overhead to malfunction and the plane crashed with 325 dead. Luckily it missed my house, which only partially burned due to the faulty wiring in the radio.
I then made breakfast with non-USDA approved bacon and some cereal. The bacon was nice and crispy and I'm sure that the corporate farm didn't put any unhealthy chemicals into it; big business wouldn't do that because it cares about me deeply and personally. I didn't read the nonexistent federal standard nutrition chart on the box while eating, so I have no fricking idea what was in that other stuff I just put into my body. But it had to be good for me, or they wouldn't sell it, right?
I put on my clothes and jumped in my nonlicensed car that I've owned since I was ten. Well, actually it is the replacement for that one, because that one got stolen and without any licensing or records of VINs no one could identify it for certain. Driving without any speed limits I arrived to work a few minutes early, though the drunks were particularly bad this morning and took my right door off. But since there are no police and no courts there's nothing I can do about it. I was relieved at not reading about the non-existent federal protections afforded to me at work that are not posted in the breakroom, which doesn't exist because my workday is 14 hours, with no breaks except on Sundays. But that's okay, because my 6-year-old daughter is working there right beside me. Too bad for her about the accident with the punch press, but you goes to work and you takes your chances. Besides, it was only a flipper from when her mama took that perfectly legal thalidomide, not a real arm.
It was okay too that that doctor that she went to didn't have to have a professional license to operate. Who needs to go to medical school to wield a hacksaw and a needle and thread anyway? That's a good thing because ongoing continuing education would be too much like socialized medicine, and that's unAmerican.
Finally after the 14 hours are up, it's lunchtime! Many good restaurants nearby. None of which post their occupational licenses prominently and have any health dept records. Hopefully there won't be any projectile vomiting tonight. That would be four nights in a row.
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etc. etc. etc.
===
This morning I awoke to the sound of my non-UL listed non-FCC approved clock/radio. The electronic emissions caused the navigational systems of the plane flying overhead to malfunction and the plane crashed with 325 dead. Luckily it missed my house, which only partially burned due to the faulty wiring in the radio.
I then made breakfast with non-USDA approved bacon and some cereal. The bacon was nice and crispy and I'm sure that the corporate farm didn't put any unhealthy chemicals into it; big business wouldn't do that because it cares about me deeply and personally. I didn't read the nonexistent federal standard nutrition chart on the box while eating, so I have no fricking idea what was in that other stuff I just put into my body. But it had to be good for me, or they wouldn't sell it, right?
I put on my clothes and jumped in my nonlicensed car that I've owned since I was ten. Well, actually it is the replacement for that one, because that one got stolen and without any licensing or records of VINs no one could identify it for certain. Driving without any speed limits I arrived to work a few minutes early, though the drunks were particularly bad this morning and took my right door off. But since there are no police and no courts there's nothing I can do about it. I was relieved at not reading about the non-existent federal protections afforded to me at work that are not posted in the breakroom, which doesn't exist because my workday is 14 hours, with no breaks except on Sundays. But that's okay, because my 6-year-old daughter is working there right beside me. Too bad for her about the accident with the punch press, but you goes to work and you takes your chances. Besides, it was only a flipper from when her mama took that perfectly legal thalidomide, not a real arm.
It was okay too that that doctor that she went to didn't have to have a professional license to operate. Who needs to go to medical school to wield a hacksaw and a needle and thread anyway? That's a good thing because ongoing continuing education would be too much like socialized medicine, and that's unAmerican.
Finally after the 14 hours are up, it's lunchtime! Many good restaurants nearby. None of which post their occupational licenses prominently and have any health dept records. Hopefully there won't be any projectile vomiting tonight. That would be four nights in a row.
===
etc. etc. etc.
