Tony J Case
Senior HTF Member
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2002
- Messages
- 2,736
Zud - (Germany 2016)
To pay off his family's mounting debts, an 11-year-old Mongolian boy enters his semi-wild horse into a horse race.
Okay, I get that you have to establish the crapsack world that these Mongolian farmers live in, that they cant catch a break - animals dieing from the mountain blizzard, unable to sell their sheerings because of the poor quality, not having enough Kopkins to buy medicine and so on. You figure they're setting for a turn of fortune as the kid trains the horse for the Big Race the whole movie, here comes the feel good ending. Oh, wait - no, the horse keels over and dies. Roll credits.
Wait - what?
Sorry, this nihilist non-ending, where the movie just stops, pisses me off. Total waste of time. Fuck this movie.
I give it zero dead horses out of five.
The Weekend Sailor (Mexico, 2016)
In 1973, an inexperienced Mexican captain named Ramon Carlín battled boating veterans, public mockery, and the deadly sea when he competed in the first nine-month around-the-world regatta.
What would happen if you said "Hey, sailing around the world sounds like fun!", got a bunch of friends together, bought a boat and raced a regatta against professional sailors and the best yachtsmen each country has to offer? Well, if it was you or I, the headlines would read "Dumbass lost at sea, feared dead". These guys? A big ol' adventure that makes a great documentary!
I give it four "Here, Hold My Beer" out of five
Tanna (Australia, 2015 )
On the South Pacific island of Vanuatu, two tribes go to war. The only thing that can broker peace? An exchange of brides - but the rebellious Wawa has different ideas, as she's in love with another man!
Tanna was a pretty cool movie - very documentary like, with a huge slice of life on the daily lives of this primate tribe lives - who have never even seen a movie before let alone starring in one - and the cinematography, the night scenes on the rim of an exploding volcanio are pretty badass. The story? Eh, very Romeo and Juilette-ish - but with more naked people with spears.
I give it four Frankie Goes to Hollywoods out of five.
Wareshoused (Mexico, 2015)
The first day on the job, Nin is taking over a position held for almost 30 years by the soon-to-retire Mr. Lino. And then they spend Lino's final week waiting for a delivery that may never arrive.
It's fascinating how a movie like Zud, a movie about life and ultimately about nothing turns out to be terrible, but a movie like Warehoused - a movie about life and ultimately nothing - turns out to be pretty good. Two guys, waiting for a delivery in a warehouse all day long - less than nothing, in fact. But yeah, it wasn’t too bad!
I give it four Godots out of five.
Hummus! The Movie
Does what it says on the tin. . .
How can you say no to a movie that features a Hebrew Rabbi Kung Fu Rap Master? Really, all he needs to learn is brain surgery and he's a hasidic Buckaroo Bonzi!
I give it Four pitas out of five
To pay off his family's mounting debts, an 11-year-old Mongolian boy enters his semi-wild horse into a horse race.
Okay, I get that you have to establish the crapsack world that these Mongolian farmers live in, that they cant catch a break - animals dieing from the mountain blizzard, unable to sell their sheerings because of the poor quality, not having enough Kopkins to buy medicine and so on. You figure they're setting for a turn of fortune as the kid trains the horse for the Big Race the whole movie, here comes the feel good ending. Oh, wait - no, the horse keels over and dies. Roll credits.
Wait - what?
Sorry, this nihilist non-ending, where the movie just stops, pisses me off. Total waste of time. Fuck this movie.
I give it zero dead horses out of five.
The Weekend Sailor (Mexico, 2016)
In 1973, an inexperienced Mexican captain named Ramon Carlín battled boating veterans, public mockery, and the deadly sea when he competed in the first nine-month around-the-world regatta.
What would happen if you said "Hey, sailing around the world sounds like fun!", got a bunch of friends together, bought a boat and raced a regatta against professional sailors and the best yachtsmen each country has to offer? Well, if it was you or I, the headlines would read "Dumbass lost at sea, feared dead". These guys? A big ol' adventure that makes a great documentary!
I give it four "Here, Hold My Beer" out of five
Tanna (Australia, 2015 )
On the South Pacific island of Vanuatu, two tribes go to war. The only thing that can broker peace? An exchange of brides - but the rebellious Wawa has different ideas, as she's in love with another man!
Tanna was a pretty cool movie - very documentary like, with a huge slice of life on the daily lives of this primate tribe lives - who have never even seen a movie before let alone starring in one - and the cinematography, the night scenes on the rim of an exploding volcanio are pretty badass. The story? Eh, very Romeo and Juilette-ish - but with more naked people with spears.
I give it four Frankie Goes to Hollywoods out of five.
Wareshoused (Mexico, 2015)
The first day on the job, Nin is taking over a position held for almost 30 years by the soon-to-retire Mr. Lino. And then they spend Lino's final week waiting for a delivery that may never arrive.
It's fascinating how a movie like Zud, a movie about life and ultimately about nothing turns out to be terrible, but a movie like Warehoused - a movie about life and ultimately nothing - turns out to be pretty good. Two guys, waiting for a delivery in a warehouse all day long - less than nothing, in fact. But yeah, it wasn’t too bad!
I give it four Godots out of five.
Hummus! The Movie
Does what it says on the tin. . .
How can you say no to a movie that features a Hebrew Rabbi Kung Fu Rap Master? Really, all he needs to learn is brain surgery and he's a hasidic Buckaroo Bonzi!
I give it Four pitas out of five