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...and those interminable slow drivers win it all. Thanks for playing! :)

hot days (I cast the tie-breaker) and slow drivers win. Final Match really Really Really hot days, and nothing to cool yourself down with vs. slow drivers Top Ten Uncool Things That Didn't Make It Into This Tournament Part III 10. Gerard Depardieu nude scenes 9. When...

slow drivers and really hot days win. The Final Four Round 5 - Bracket 1 Migraines vs. Really Really Really hot days, and nothing to cool yourself down with Round 5 - Bracket 2 Being the last person picked in a pick up game of whatever vs. Slow Drivers Joke...

Ten More Uncool Things That Didn't Make It Into This Tournament 10. When your school day doesn't get cancelled after a heavy snow 9. Stubbing your toe 8. When you're out driving around and a cop starts following you 7. Getting pool water up your nose 6. Multiple security stickers on DVD...

last picked and (I cast the tie-breaker) migraines win. Round 4 - Bracket 3 slow drivers vs. people talking on cell-phones in a movie theater Round 4 - Bracket 4 shaving vs. Really Really Really hot days, and nothing to cool yourself down with Joke of the day...

slow drivers, hot days and (I cast the tie-breaker) shaving win. Round 4 - Bracket 1 Being forced to listen to the local Top 40 radio station at work for hours on end vs. Being the last person picked in a pick up game of whatever Round 4 - Bracket 2 speedos vs...

cell phones and migraines win. Round 3 - Bracket 6 The "kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out" matchup: telemarketers vs. slow drivers Round 3 - Bracket 7 Really Really Really hot days, and nothing to cool yourself down with vs. MAR DVDs Le Bonus Match...

last picked, top 40, and speedos win. Round 3 - Bracket 4 The "Why is everyone else so rude?" matchup: Defacing, not returning or otherwise mistreating something borrowed from a public library vs. People talking on cell-phones in a movie theater Round 3 - Bracket 5...

MAR, boners and shaving win. Round 3 - Bracket 1 Jumping over the seats in front of you at a baseball game in order to take away a foul ball from a 4-year old vs. Being the last person picked in a pick up game of whatever Round 3 - Bracket 2 Being forced to listen to the...

really hot days and disco win. Round 2 - Bracket 14 MAR-only DVDs vs. Urkel Round 2 - Bracket 15 Getting a boner at work for no reason vs. Buying a soda and having it explode when you open it Super Deluxe Bonus Match: Round 2 - Bracket 16 Shaving vs...

migraines, last picked, and "not tonight" win. Round 2 - Bracket 12 Really Really Really hot days, and nothing to cool yourself down with vs. falling asleep during a movie and not being able to finish it that night Round 2 - Bracket 13 The "IRS don't dance" matchup...

ball stealing and telemarketers win. Round 2 - Bracket 9 migraines vs. insomnia Round 2 - Bracket 10 The "nobody loves me" matchup: being the last person picked in a pick up game of whatever vs. starting a thread that gets no replies Super Saturday Bonus...

cell phone gabbers, library vandals, and barfing win. Round 2 - Bracket 7 Treppenwitz—the wit of the stairs, referring to the witty and devastating comeback that occurs to you too late vs. Jumping over the seats in front of you at a baseball game in order to take away a foul ball...

slow drivers, top 40 radio, and speedos win. Round 2 - Bracket 4 The "going to the movies is fun" match: commercials at the movies vs. people talking on cell-phones in a movie theater Round 2 - Bracket 5 defacing, not returning or otherwise mistreating something borrowed...

boners, she ain't givin' it up, and shaving win. Round 2 - Bracket 1 slow drivers vs. people who get in the express lane with too many items Round 2 - Bracket 2 nonsense work meetings vs. Being forced to listen to the local Top 40 radio station at work for hours on...

falling asleep, commercials, and sweat pit stains win. Round 1 - Bracket 30 getting an annoying itch in a private place in public vs. getting a boner at work for no reason Round 1 - Bracket 31 broken bones vs. "not tonight, honey" Crappy, end of round one bonus...

MAR DVDs, inheritance tax, and speedos win. Round 1 - Bracket 27 Messing with people when they're passed out drunk vs. Falling asleep during a movie and not being able to finish it that night Round 1 - Bracket 28 Hot actresses that refuse to do nude scenes vs...

...letting this one run another day...

Hot days, disco, and jumping over the seats win. Round 1 - Bracket 24 chain movie theaters vs. MAR-only DVDs Round 1 - Bracket 25 When you get to the point that the only pretty girls who give you an encouraging look are hookers vs. inheritance tax Hey look! It's...

Treppenwitz and slow friggin' drivers win. Round 1 - Bracket 21 Blowing the dust off an object and forgetting to close your eyes (and getting an eyefull of said dust) vs. Really Really Really hot days, and nothing to cool yourself down with Round 1 - Bracket 22 disco...

In my continuing quest to keep you entertained, I present: The Top Ten Uncool Things That Didn't Make It Into This Tournament 10. junk mail/spam 9. when airlines lose your luggage 8. running a comb through your hair and accidentally stabbing yourself in the scalp with the teeth...

garage sales, cell phones in the theater, and Bob Saget win. I broke a tie in favor of cell phones in the theater - I've never encountered smoking in a theater. As was noted earlier, does anyone really do it? Round 1 - Bracket 19 Treppenwitz—the wit of the stairs, referring to the...

express lane, nonsense, and pukin' in your mouth win. Round 1 - Bracket 16 Seeing a spider in the rear view mirror of the car when your driving vs. going to garage sales with your mother Round 1 - Bracket 17 People talking on cell-phones in a movie theater. vs...

When someone you've got feelings for... and insomnia win. Round 1 - Bracket 13 People who get in the express lane with too many items vs. "long waits" at Netflix Round 1 - Bracket 14 Finishing putting something together, then looking at the instructions and realizing you've...

Mullets, Defacing..., and Telemarketers win. Round 1 - Bracket 11 When Someone You've Got "Feelings" For Already Has An S.O. (Extra points if said S.O. is a real asshole/b*tch) vs. Having lustful thoughts about a hot chick and then finding out (too late) she's a he Round 1 -...

Being picked last..., Starting a thread..., and Urkel (I cast the tie-breaker) are the winners. Round 1 - Bracket 8 The hirsute match... Mullets vs. back hair Round 1 - Bracket 9 Defacing, not returning or otherwise mistreating something borrowed from a public library...

Top 40 radio and exploding soda are the winners. Round 1 - Bracket 5 Going all in with pocket Aces, and losing to a 2-8 off suit vs. Being the last person picked in a pick up game of *whatever* Round 1 - Bracket 6 Descending into an HTF discussion with a troll vs...

It is indeed horrible: not that the music is inherently bad, but it's not to my taste and having to listen to what sounds like the same five songs for 8 - 10 hours is really annoying. I find it sad that so many people are unwilling to give a listen to anything outside the mainstream. Pop culture...

Having lustful thoughts...to be her father wins. Migraines wins. Round 1 - Bracket 3 Being forced to listen to the local Top 40 radio station at work for hours on end vs. Cops hiding behind the bushes/under an overpass for speeding violators Round 1 - Bracket 4 Buying a...

Okay, we're all set. I've left out a few of the more recent autos for either being redundant or not in the spirit of the tourney (death; sorry, Chucky). :) Round 1 - Bracket 1 Having lustful thoughts about a hot chick and then finding out you're old enough to be her father vs...