Action Films Are From Mars Chick Flicks Are From Venus

Action Films are from Mars, Chick Flicks are from Venus

By Mike Frezon

October 2009

My wife and I have been married more than 27 years.  I don’t know two people more compatible than us—with the possible exception of my own parents (still going strong at 58+ years together!). 

However, we’re not totally compatible when it comes to movies.

Home theater is a hobby that doesn’t always bring men and women together.  In fact, it is generally accepted that home theater (or more accurately, home stereo) is responsible for the very origin of the acronym WAF:  Wife Acceptance Factor—the measure of a spouse’s acceptance of a big purchase by her husband (maybe, for example, some large loudspeakers). While the husband may be psyched about the speakers’ performance, the wife may care less about their quality and more about their integration into the décor.

My HTF brethren have shared many stories about:  finally getting that 52” Plasma TV only to have their wife ask, “That’s supposed to fit in MY living room?!”  Or, about finally pulling the trigger on that dream subwoofer and having the wife’s eyes bug out in disbelief when she sees the delivery man unload the monster—strapped to a wooden pallet!  Or friends who sneak DVD purchases into their home, afraid to hear their wife ask why they purchased yet another copy of Terminator 2, “Don’t you already have that?!?”

As compatible as my wife and I are, we always run into difficulty as we settle in for an evening’s entertainment and try to agree on what movie to watch.  My taste tends to run, like many guys’, towards action/adventure flicks.  My wife, however, has a special aversion to things like hot scantily-clad brunette actresses, things blowing up, and D-Day.  (Imagine casting Megan Fox as a demolitions expert in a film about the landing at Normandy!  Yes!)  My wife’s tastes run more along the lines of puppies, Jimmy Stewart and song-and-dance.  (Imagine casting Megan Fox in a film about tap-dancing Chihuahuas!  Sorry, I couldn’t resist.  “She’s really a talented actress, dear.”)

Short story:  A few years ago, I tried to trick my wife (a bad idea to begin with) into watching one of MY type of films.  I showed her a clip from Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) showing the Pitt & Jolie characters having an amusing—and quite domestic—exchange about their living room drapes.  A couple of attractive people, in a tranquil setting, with a non-threatening title…  But, she didn’t fall for it.  What was I thinking? 

My collection is, for the most part, arranged alphabetically—by title—on my shelves.  We have found it a daunting, time-consuming task to peruse my collection of hundreds of titles searching for one upon which we can agree.

On any given night we might stare at the shelves—me wishing I could watch any number of films, but my wife only agreeing to watch less raucous fare.  It’s almost inevitable that our tastes won’t match up. 

So, what I’ve done is set aside a small box containing two dozen marginally diverse titles (newer releases alongside classics) which fall into that category of films which we both might agree to watch (James Bond, Alfred Hitchcock and Godzilla need not apply!).  There might be some classic dramas and comedies interspersed with some foreign films and the obligatory selection of romantic comedies.  We then each select a few films and create a manageable pool of titles from which to decide.  More often than not, this solution works for us. 

Otherwise, I resign myself to the fact that I can watch Megan Fox and her band of robots when my wife is out shopping or at a meeting…or that sometimes I’ve just got to “take one for the team” and sit down to watch some fluffy rom-com or BBC series (think: Cranford).

My wife has learned to keep me informed about new theatrical releases that interest her (when she sees the trailers advertised on TV or reads reviews).  That way I can keep my eyes open for their upcoming release to DVD/Blu-ray. 

So, with a little thought, some care, and a dash of compromise all mixed together…Movie Night has a little less conflict and a lot less stress!  We’re well on our way to another 27 years of marital bliss!