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funny review of citizen kane on amazon


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27 replies to this topic

#1 of 28 OFFLINE   Christ Reynolds

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Posted September 22 2002 - 05:53 PM

i love the classics, but i must admit i can think of a hundred movies better than ck. great movie, but not the best. anyway, i found this "review" on amazon, thought it was funny. enjoy.

'Citizen Kane (Special Edition)' It is my understanding that humans watch movies to be entertained, to be stimulated, to escape-- not to be forced into a semiconscious or unconscious state. My advice circuit indicates you should fast forward through the first 30 minutes. In fact, fast forward through the entire duration of the film, and use the time you saved to go get laid. Come on, you're watching citizen kane! Extracurricularly!
And then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore, I just use the restroom! And then I CAN eat more!

#2 of 28 OFFLINE   Seth Paxton

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Posted September 23 2002 - 01:55 AM

Quote:
My advice circuit indicates
and then this...
Quote:
and use the time you saved to go get laid

Nice try buddy. Posted Image Posted Image

My "advice circuit" would indicate that the Trek geek can afford the time to watch CK anyway since he's not getting laid anytime soon. Posted Image

#3 of 28 OFFLINE   Matt Stone

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Posted September 23 2002 - 02:16 AM

Posted Image Posted Image
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#4 of 28 OFFLINE   Mike Broadman

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Posted September 23 2002 - 03:15 AM

Are Citizen Kane bashers the same people who think it's not cool to like the Beatles and claim Mozart was overrated?

Eh, whatever makes people happy.

#5 of 28 OFFLINE   Lew Crippen

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Posted September 23 2002 - 03:20 AM

Seth & Mike Posted Image

Posted Image Posted Image
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#6 of 28 OFFLINE   Jack Briggs

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Posted September 23 2002 - 04:51 AM

...but i must admit i can think of a hundred movies better than ck. great movie, but not the best. ...


Make that a hundred films you happen to like better than Citizen Kane. That doesn't make them better.

#7 of 28 OFFLINE   Ricardo C

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Posted September 23 2002 - 06:10 AM

...And the fact that some people consider CK the best film ever made doesn't make it so, either Posted Image
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#8 of 28 OFFLINE   Paul Richardson

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Posted September 23 2002 - 06:15 AM

Fodder for another thread I suppose, but I'd love to see that list of a hundred films and detailed reasons why they are better than Citzen Kane.

#9 of 28 OFFLINE   Luc D

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Posted September 23 2002 - 06:23 AM

Quote:
'Citizen Kane (Special Edition)' It is my understanding that humans watch movies to be entertained, to be stimulated, to escape-- not to be forced into a semiconscious or unconscious state. My advice circuit indicates you should fast forward through the first 30 minutes. In fact, fast forward through the entire duration of the film, and use the time you saved to go get laid. Come on, you're watching citizen kane! Extracurricularly!


This is why we have Scooby Doo sequels.

#10 of 28 OFFLINE   Ricardo C

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Posted September 23 2002 - 06:26 AM

On second though... Not gonna get into it Posted Image
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#11 of 28 OFFLINE   MatthewA

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Posted September 23 2002 - 07:01 AM

Calm down, it's just a matter of opinion.

Enough is enough, Disney. No more evasions or excuses. We DEMAND the release Song of the South on Blu-ray along with the uncut version of Bedknobs and Broomsticks on Blu-ray. I am going to boycott The Walt Disney Company until then.


#12 of 28 OFFLINE   Patrick McCart

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Posted September 23 2002 - 09:13 AM

It doesn't matter whether you like the film or not...it's still an incredible piece of filmmaking.

What kind of defense can one make? Saying Citizen Kane has poor editing and cinematography? Bad acting? Bad sound design?

I believe that Kane is exactly side-by-side with Lawrence of Arabia, 8 1/2, Fantasia, Napoleon, City Lights, and Nosferatu...it's impossible to have only one greatest film.

Hey...even Pauline Kael liked Citizen Kane.

#13 of 28 OFFLINE   Dennis Nicholls

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Posted September 23 2002 - 11:41 AM

Quote:
Hey...even Pauline Kael liked Citizen Kane.

Yeah, she's the one who thought 2001: A Space Odyssey was a lousy flick and gushed about Last Tango in Paris. With all due respect to the dead....
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#14 of 28 OFFLINE   Christ Reynolds

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Posted September 23 2002 - 01:55 PM

Quote:
Are Citizen Kane bashers the same people who think it's not cool to like the Beatles and claim Mozart was overrated?


i wouldnt consider myself a ck basher, i just think there are quite a few movies out there that could easily take the "best movie of all time" crown from it, who knows how it seems to have a lock on that title though. but as far as the beatles and mosart, i hold them in the highest regard, musically that is. so if ck bashers hate the beatles, i guess i'm not one of them. Posted Image

CJ
And then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore, I just use the restroom! And then I CAN eat more!

#15 of 28 OFFLINE   Christ Reynolds

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Posted September 23 2002 - 02:05 PM

Quote:
Make that a hundred films you happen to like better than Citizen Kane. That doesn't make them better.


pointless post. of course everyone in here is stating their opinions, and that was mine. i hope you dont believe i was trying to pawn my opinions off as fact. yes, i think there are a hundred movies better than ck, and there are a hundred different reasons not to post replies like that. here is my revised statement to comply.

i believe there are roughly 100 movies that are, in my opinion, better than citizen kane. this estimate is in no way factual, its just something i believe. of course this in no way reflects anyone elses opinions, so if your opinions were changed as a result of reading my post, my apologies.

i hope i wont have to post that disclaimer every time i state an opinion, but if i have to i will.

Posted Image

CJ
And then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore, I just use the restroom! And then I CAN eat more!

#16 of 28 OFFLINE   Scott_D

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Posted September 23 2002 - 02:16 PM

And Ck can not be the best film ever, in regards to facts. No film will ever be the best film ever, its all a matter of opinion. Even saying that it is beyond dispute that 2001 was a great film. To you it may have been a great film, the AFI may think it is a great film but again they are only opinions, it isn't fact.

#17 of 28 OFFLINE   RaulR

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Posted September 24 2002 - 01:34 PM

Speaking of funny reviews, here's an IMDB user comment on "Salo":

'IT IS good to see, once awhile, a films where you see it, actors are playing with fun. In salo, there is much of this. It is a nice one, for all the family. Is perfect for family viewing, have night in, and watch it with dinner. The music is nice, and the shildren and adults, they have nice relationships. But don't they argue!'

#18 of 28 OFFLINE   Jason P

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Posted September 24 2002 - 01:59 PM

To you it may have been a great film, the AFI may think it is a great film but again they are only opinions, it isn't fact.


What does make it "fact"? When basically the vast majority of film critics have dubbed this to be a "great" film, people who have seen more films in one year than most do in a lifetime, people who make their livings and base their lives on the study of motion pictures conclude that this is without a shadow of a doubt a "great" picture, isn't that "fact"?

#19 of 28 OFFLINE   Greg_Y

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Posted September 24 2002 - 02:11 PM

Quote:
isn't that "fact"?

No. Films are art. Art is subjective.

#20 of 28 OFFLINE   Damin J Toell

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Posted September 24 2002 - 03:49 PM

Quote:
When basically the vast majority of film critics have dubbed this to be a "great" film, people who have seen more films in one year than most do in a lifetime, people who make their livings and base their lives on the study of motion pictures conclude that this is without a shadow of a doubt a "great" picture, isn't that "fact"?


Actually, that's certainly not fact. It is, instead, a logical fallacy called an "appeal to authority."

DJ


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