The horror! The horror! A rant about morons at the movies. (1 Viewer)

So, I finally get off my butt and go to see Apocalypse Now Redux, and I end up nearly killing a guy.
It was Tuesday, at The Eglinton in Toronto. During the opening montage, the moron next to me gets out his phone, starts dialing and then starts talking! He didn't answer the phone, which would have been bad enough; he actually made a call during the opening of the film.
Guess how long he stayed on the phone? All the way through the opening, through Sheen's narration, all the way up to breaking the mirror! By that time I was throwing handfuls of greasy popcorn at him to try to get him to shut up, but all he would do is look at me like I was out of my mind. After he hung up his phone he complained loudly to the woman he was with about how he had popcorn all over him.
I seriously considered leaving and getting someone to kick him out of the theatre while he was on the phone, but that would only have compounded the problem for the rest of the audience: I was in the middle of a row, and The Eglinton's seating is not on a particularly steep angle, so I'd be standing up in front of everyone.
I also considered leaving and asking for my money back, which I should have done, since I couldn't get into the film after that...it would have been okay, but phones belonging to other selfish morons rang a good dozen times over the course of the film, each ring bringing back that feeling of hatred and pulling me out of Apocalypse Now.
The guy also got up and walked through the row three times during the film (to do what, I don't know, maybe make more calls without getting popcorn down his shirt), and he started to leave a fourth time just as that Doors song started playing again during the film's climax, but the woman he was with told him to wait because it was almost over. I felt really bad for her that she had to come to the movies with such an asshole.
I had to force myself to leave after the film in the opposite direction out of the row so that I wouldn't know where the guy was once we got outside -- I was afraid that I'd jump him and demand that he give me back the six dollars I had just wasted on being angry at him for three and a half hours, plus another four bucks for the popcorn I threw at him.
What should or could I have done? Experiences like this are souring me on the whole movie theatre thing, and the good little theatres that were for the most part free of morons have been closing at an alarming rate here in Toronto.

I love mobile phones. They are great when you need to reach someone urgently, when planning to meet someone in a place you don't really know, when you are in trouble for some reason and need help...
People who use them in cinemas should be neutered to make sure their genes don't contaminate the gene pool.
Theaters need to install cell phone jammers. That's the only thing that will keep these inconsiderate idiots from using their phones throughout the movie, destroying the experience for those of us who want to actually see the movie.
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/Kimmo

I can imagine what you went through. I've had to deal with idiots on cell phones during movies myself but at least the movie was only 90 min and not 3 1/2 hrs. I would have been pretty heated after 3 1/2 hrs. It really got to me during a 90 min movie. People have no respect.
That cell phone jammer idea is indeed a great one.

I think you should have told him to get off the phone first. But I know how you felt.
/Mike

I think the problem is even more fundamental than that. Things in the culture have degraded to the point where too many people simply have no shame about various things, such as being rude in public.
I think that's what needs to be changed.

Aaron, I don't know about Toronto but in America, you never know who you're messin with. You never know just how crazy that other guy is or who he's with, so it's best to avoid any type of confrontation with that type of person if at all possible. I'm a pretty big guy. Intimidating to some even, although I'm probably the biggest teddy bear you've ever seen. Especially when I'm out with the wife and or kids (who could get hurt and whom I'm trying to set an example for), I may comment on someone behavior to my party but very rarely do I escalate the situation by participating in their stupidity.
Phones are a problem. I think a posted reminder at the main theater entrance and then again at each individual theater to "Please disable ringer on all mobile phones. Vibrate mode only" would be sufficient. This would solve 99% of the problems. The other 1%......??? Get a refund.
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"Nobody move a muscle."
GROOOWLLLLL !
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Whatever the film is tends not to matter. People have become noticeably ruder at public entertainment events (or just in public period). Going to the arthouse doesn't alleviate the problem. I remember listening to the people behind me talking about the set decoration during The Ice Storm. (They remembered how things looked then.) There was a particularly bad screening of The Impostors during which many older women carried on conversations throughout. I'm almost resigned to the whole cell phone issue, which usually consists of the person answering the call and saying, "Watching a movie" (in response to the obvious question "What are you doing?").
For whatever reason, people don't think they can stay out of contact with the world for two hours. The ideal solution, although dubiously feasible, would be to have ushers always on hand in the theater to remove the guilty parties (or maybe just present the threat of removal by being there). Unfortunately, the cost to employ these people would probably affect the bottom line too much. You would need to hire adults, not teenagers to do this.
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Read my reviews at www.dvdmon.com
Most recent reviews: Open Your Eyes, Waiting for Guffman, Maelstrom, Diary of a Chambermaid: The Criterion Collection
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And people wonder why I prefer viewing films at home.
I loathe going to the movies these days. Theaters get ever smaller and it's now even hard to find a theater where the films are aspected correctly. Miss the first week and that DTS or Dolby EX title is now playing in a tiny ancilliary theater and in stereo to add insult to injury.
The only solution to the cell phone fiasco is to put up signs and actually have ushers like theaters used to have. You gab, you leave. Period.

I of course have to agree that disruptions caused by cell phones, talking, tapping the back of my chair, etc. are all very annoying and can ruin the experience of seeing a movie on the big screen. And yes, with the things people are capable of doing these days you do have to be careful about who you appraoch and how you do so. Still, I think the best thing to do in situations like this one is to politely mention it to the person is the least disruptive manner possible or to contact the theater manager (and contrary to popular belief, I would say most of them are not teenagers). Someone earlier mentioned that they want to be role-models for their children and not get into a confrontation. That is totally commendable. But wouldn't it be a great thing to show children that the way to solve problems is to have a mature interaction with the other person rather than just hold it in and make comments under your breath? If the other person reacts negatively, you still can contact the manager or if it gets way out of control there is always the police (hopefully that happens rarely). Just keep in mind that the attitude you take into any confrontation with a person like this is going to affect the way it is resolved. Just my thoughts.
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"Wait a minute. Was she a great big fat person?"
My DVD Collection

I'm continually dismayed, but also surprised, but the movie-going horror stories. I see maybe a movie every month or two at the theater -- not a lot, but a fair number, and I've never experienced a cell-phone call in the theater, or even incessant talkers. And I mean never; not that I can remember in the past 10 years of my adult movie-going.
Maybe I'm just lucky.
In all the discussions about this, is there any generalization about where this is the worst: cities, the sticks, suburbs, wealthy areas, poor areas?

My personal worst experience was a good 15 years ago (so the phenomenon is not new) in an art theater watching an “art” film (so one can’t just blame J6P type losers).
During a showing of Last Year at Marienbad at the long defunct Theater 80 St. Marks an old(er) man talked non stop to his female companion, “explaining” the film and telling her what was about to happen. Repeated attempts were made to shush him to no avail. Finally toward the end of the film, someone screamed “CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP SO WE CAN AT LEAST WATCH THE LAST 5 MINUTES IN PEACE!?!” The theater broke into applause and the creep was finally rendered silent. I have a hard time imagining a worse movie than Last Year at Marienbad to have this happen with, because so much depends on the mood it creates.
I find that things have actually improved in most of the new mainstream theaters, because the sound is so loud, that unless the chatterbox is sitting right near you, you don’t hear them. The one thing that has gone down from the “good old days” is that the Paris theater now sells popcorn. In the 80s it was the only theater with no concessions and you could watch movies without loud crunching sounds in your ear. Having grown up in a country where eating in a movie theater was unthinkable, I loved the Paris.
Ted

If you have the nerve to do it, a loud, terse, "EXCUSE ME! WOULD YOU PLEASE GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE, YOU'RE RUINING THE MOVIE FOR ME!" will get the point across, and most likely either a) embarass the person, or b) get others in the auditorium on your side, murmuring their disapproval. Of course, your success may vary, as in trying to confront a large group of people (usually teens). You'll most likely be ignored, told to f*ck off, or laughed at. But in this case, it was an adult with his date; he had no one "getting his back."
A lot of situations like this are handled easily if only ONE person has the nerve to speak up.

Well, as Jason sort of said: Let's hear it for home theaters.
I've been attending screenings of 2001 ever since 1968, in a number of towns and at a number of venues. To this day, I'm amazed at some of the audiences. I've seen people pay their money and get into the cinema and gab throughout the film--and since 2001 has a lot of qiuet passages, chatter can be distracting.
First, I wonder, why pay all that money just to sit and talk? You can do that in the comfort of your own home and not disturb others. Then, these same ingrates who have talked throughout a 2001 screening have the nerve to say, after the film is over, that they "didn't understand" the thing. Shutting up and paying attention might have helped.
The situation is far worse these days. I don't think we can generalize about audience behavior based on geography or demographics. But one thing I've noticed about certain L.A. theaters is that audiences are reasonably respectful--perhaps because so many industry types are in attendance (audiences here often sit throughout the credit roll as well). As I said, though, this is true of only certain theaters.
This is the era of the ten-dollar movie ticket. I don't understand those who pay the money and then sit and talk.
And I am proud to say that in this home-theater age, I rarely go to commercial cinemas. The hell with the talkers, the cell phones, the laser pointers, the sticky floors, the poorly illuminated projectors, the overpriced concessions, and the indifferent, apathetic theater management.
Me? I choose to wait for the DVDs.
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People are obnoxious because everyone lets them get away with it. If you tell them to stop, most often they will.
I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and currently live in Boston. Rudeness is a normal part of my day. I'm actually surprised when somone isn't rude. If you stand your ground, the rest will follow.
I used to go to a movie theater in a predominantly black neighborhood. There's a stereotype that black people talk and yell at the screen. Where I'm from, it's true. I don't mean to be bigotted or anything, but it's just what I saw. Some think it's a quaint cultural habbit. I think it's horribly obnoxious.
Here in Boston, people don't do that as much. I get the cell phones and other annoyances that were mentioned above. I don't know which is worse.
Talking in a theater is not as annoying as the laser pointers. At least you can identify the talker and tell them something. Laser pointers are anonymous.
Sure there's a chance that someone is a nut job with a gun, but that's pretty slim. Sometimes we have to fight for our right to do our own thing.

I don't know what's on the minds of some people.... I almost never go to the movies anymore and THIS is the reason why.
I'm almost ready to swear off going to concerts except at dingy little clubs. This summer, my wife and I went to see U2 in Boston. During the show, the people in front of us were talking LOUDLY thorugh the first several songs.... paying no attention to the concert. We both politely asked them to be more quite or to take the conversation to the hallway. They only talked louder. So I asked them how much their tickets were figuring that maybe once they realized that they were wasting $135/ticket that they might be a little more quiet. Nope. At that point, one guy turned around and tried to strangle me. No kidding. Put his hands around my neck, squeezed, and started swearing up a storm. Needless to say he got booted out (but unforunatly the police didn't seem it was necessary to arrest him on assault charges).
I'm continuously amazed at how inconsiderate some people are. Sheesh. I feel bad if I cough during a movie.
-Steve

You folks are forgetting the worst transgression, in my opinion...the baby. This has happened far too often in my recent theatre going experiences. A mother (usually young) walks in with her nearly newborn baby in her arms, wailing and crying and doing all the normal things babies do...in their homes. This upsets me on two levels. On the primal parental level, I get upset for the baby. Many summer movies are loud and violent and to expose a child to this is insensitive at best and abusive at worst. On a second level, I am of course upset that they don't leave the theatre when their baby starts to holler and rant. I have that at home. That's why I get a baby sitter. And so should they. Many times these young parents come in with a bunch of friends. Makes me wonder why some of those friends don't offer to babysit and go on their own another night..that's what our friends do. Humph. This is something obvious that movie ticket folks should shut down on right away...it isn't like the baby is hidden away in a pocket like a cell phone.
As for cell phone uses in theatres...this may be a bit more labor intensive, but one thing old venues for live shows did (I doubt they still do) is collect people's pagers and cell phones before the show and note where they are sitting in the audience. This was the days when pagers were carried for emergencies only (was it that long ago?). Then, if a real emergency came through, an usher(ha!) would sneak in and let the person know. NIce, quiet and not a real disruption.
Oh well...but keep the babies at home!
Phil

Cell phone jammers would be nice but I think the simplest thing to do is to ask everyone to turn their cell phone off before the film starts. I have a phone, the people who I go to the theater with have cell phones but we all turn them off as we enter the theater. Its common sense and courtesy. They should have an employee stand up in front of the screen and ask everyone to turn their phones off and that anyone who has one on will be removed from the theater.
Seb
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Tall ships and tall kings
Three times three
What brought they from the foundered land
Over the flowing sea?
Seven stars and seven stones
And one white tree

I guess that's the good thing about Montreal.
Here too there are a lot of trouble makers in theaters. But there is one theater (The Famous Players Paramount downtown) that doesn't have those problems (Or at least very little) for the following reasons.
1. Being that 80% of the population here speaks french (And watch their movies dubbed in french ) going to see the proper version insures a more educated audiance. And the 'Mount only shows the proper version of a movie.
2. Tickets are 3$ more expensive than anywhere else. I get shit all the time from people telling me that I'm stupid for spending $12.50 on a movie when the Guzzos have it for $9. So here again, trouble makers who don't care about the movie and do those stupid things, stay clear of the 'Mount.
3. There is an employee coming 5 minutes before show time to tell people to turn off their cell phones, pagers, not to put their feet in front and other things like that, Ok so they won't necessairly listen, but that helps.