I finally got around to watching this terrible, terrible movie last night - a fucking disaster! While I'm way too young to have watched the show in the 50's, it was always in rotation on the UHF channels, so I grew up loving the Lone Ranger. So much like Man of Steel, while I knew that this was going to be a gawdawful terrible movie, I also knew that I had to see it.
Why, why, why was this Tonto: The Movie? Tonto gets all the back story, all the exposition, all the flashbacks, all the character development while the Ranger is mostly ingored. Worse, the Ranger is such a terrible character - he's a two-dimensional milksop, he's a worthless idiot - he is NOT a hero, and he needs to be. The Lone Ranger should be strong and right and worthy of having a faithful companion in Tonto. Instead, he's played as a buffoon - and that's unforgivable!
No, wait - even worse than that: there's no chemistry between the Ranger and Tonto. They actively don't like each other, and they're only together because Silver the Magical Spirit Horse chose him. They're not partners, not companions - they're just hunting the same man. That's not right!
And there was absolutely no reason for this movie to be two and a half hours long. There's just not enough story to support this running time. The Ranger's set-up could have been told in 15 minuets - bring the character in, meet his brother, go out after Butch Cavendish, and ambush. Boom, roaring rampage of revenge. But no - the ambush happens 40-ish minutes into the movie! And the movie just goes on and on and on forever - by the time the climax comes crashing onto the screen, I'm just so burnt out and want this thing to be over, I couldn't care.
And the comedy - I am SO goddamned tired of the Wacky Adventures of Captain Jack. If Depp never does another movie, I'd be fine with that. And it's so inappropriately placed too - here's this really dark and heavy scene of the Calvary slaughtering Indians by the dozens and they keep cutting away to Tonto and the Ranger doing schtick. The mood whiplash really takes you out of the movie!
Taken on it's own, (or say 80 minutes into the movie) the climax is pretty cool. Okay, physics doesn't work like that - at all - but the scene has personality and energy and a sense of fun that the rest of the movie didn't. When the Theme kicks in, you know some shit is about to get real.
I guess at the end of the day, I'm left trying to figure out which movie is more disrespectful to the character: what Man of Steel did to Superman or what this movie did to the Lone Ranger. But they both fucking SUCKED!