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My Wife Has Lost Her Fight


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#1 of 47 OFFLINE   Dave Scarpa

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Posted June 03 2010 - 05:51 AM

My Wife Beth was diagnosed about a year and a Half ago with a very Rare form of Stage 4 cervical cancer, this past weekend on May 30th she passed away. She had been at home and I was caring for her. We have been married for 23 years, known each other for over 25, and had just celebrated her 45th birthday in April. I have not been here much since she was sick, she underwent about six rounds of chemo and with work, which I did from home at the end, there was much time left over. She stayed herself till the end, never getting down,and always caring more for others than herself. Some here at the HTF, of which I've been a member for a long time, knew of her illness, others did not. Today we wakemy beloved and tommorrow is her funeral, I thanks everyone that wished us well and gave us their support. There's so much to do in the upcoming weeks but my presence here will increase as I try to get my life back on track after saying goodbye to my Hunny-Bunny



Take care all


Dave


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#2 of 47 OFFLINE   Ockeghem

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Posted June 03 2010 - 06:03 AM

Dave,


Sorry to hear of your loss.  You have my condolences.  I just lost a friend to cancer two days ago.  He had been battling it for over a year.



#3 of 47 OFFLINE   Toronto Argonauts

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Posted June 03 2010 - 06:29 AM

Dave,

My condolences. My wife is also battling cancer. We found out last November but thank God it was found on time.

You take care.

David


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#4 of 47 ONLINE   Neil Middlemiss

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Posted June 03 2010 - 06:56 AM

Dave - My sincere condolences. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!


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#5 of 47 OFFLINE   BrianW

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Posted June 03 2010 - 07:00 AM

I'm very sorry, Dave.  I hope you find peace as you deal with your loss in the days ahead.


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#6 of 47 OFFLINE   mattCR

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Posted June 03 2010 - 07:03 AM

Dave, my condolences.

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#7 of 47 OFFLINE   SAhmed

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Posted June 03 2010 - 07:04 AM

Dave,


My deepest condolences to you and the family on your sad loss. I am a current survior but so easily could have gone the other way.


Regards



#8 of 47 OFFLINE   Cees Alons

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Posted June 03 2010 - 07:48 AM

Dave,


I'm very sorry for your loss.

Losing someone you have been close to and loved for so many years is a terrible experience.


Last month we buried my father-in-law and two weeks ago his old friend (of the type my wife used to address as "uncle" and his wife as "aunt" since her youth) passed away as well. We attended his funeral last week.

The simple word "loss" describes it so well.


Have strength tomorrow. Our thoughts will be with you and your family.



Cees



#9 of 47 OFFLINE   TravisR

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Posted June 03 2010 - 08:08 AM

My condolences, Dave.



#10 of 47 OFFLINE   Henry Gale

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Posted June 03 2010 - 08:09 AM

Dave,

I am sorry.

Thanks for sharing the loss of Beth with us.


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#11 of 47 OFFLINE   Sam Posten

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Posted June 03 2010 - 08:10 AM

Deepest condolences sir!


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#12 of 47 OFFLINE   Mike Frezon

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Posted June 03 2010 - 08:29 AM

Oh, Dave.  I am so sorry to hear of your loss.


There are few words to convey an appropriate thought on such an occurrence.  Rest assured that you and your family will be in prayers.  I hope you all are able to find the strength you will need to move forward with your lives in this time of extreme sadness and loss.

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#13 of 47 OFFLINE   Bryan X

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Posted June 03 2010 - 08:31 AM

Very sorry to hear this, Dave.  My deepest condolences.



#14 of 47 OFFLINE   Michael Harris

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Posted June 03 2010 - 08:40 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.  A dear frlend of mine is nearing the end of her fight with stage IV melanoma but is living each day to the fullest.  I guess that is all one can ask for.



#15 of 47 OFFLINE   Gregg Loewen

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Posted June 03 2010 - 09:24 AM

hi Dave

My Condolences.


Gregg


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#16 of 47 OFFLINE   gene c

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Posted June 03 2010 - 09:57 AM

So sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I lost my mother and sister to cancer many years ago but being single I won't pretend to understand what you must be going thru. I found out a little over a year ago that my high school sweetheart died of cancer in 1993 at the young age of 32 and even though I hadn't seen her in over 25 years I was still sick to my stomach for over a month. But remember, you have many friends here at the HTF to help you get thru it. Best wishes, Gene


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#17 of 47 OFFLINE   Al.Anderson

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Posted June 03 2010 - 11:59 PM

I'm very sorry Dave.  I can feel the pain in your post.  Hopefully you'll have family and friends nearby to comfort you in the coming days.


#18 of 47 OFFLINE   Adam Lenhardt

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Posted June 04 2010 - 01:51 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that, Dave. Your wife sounds like a wonderful person, never letting the disease beat her even as it beat her body. Best of luck getting through the tough weeks and months ahead.



#19 of 47 OFFLINE   Hugh Jackes

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Posted June 04 2010 - 02:05 AM

Dave,


Please accept my sincerest condolences on your loss.  I know that I am stating the obvious when I say that any words we strangers here share with you cannot begin to help you see your way through the hurricane that you are currently enduring.  But I want to say to you that, as deep as the hole you are in now, time is your friend.  Not next week, not next month, maybe not next year, but some day you will be readying yourself for the night and you will realize that you had an ok day.  In the meantime, you must stand as tall as you can and endure.


What I have learned: grief is by its nature a very selfish emotion/action/experience.  I don't know if you have kids that you have to hold up as they adjust to life without their mother, but kids or no kids, sometimes as you try to live, it is ok for you to self-centered for moments here and there, for something to be all about you.


I wish you peace.  I hope you are able to make the transition to what I call "the new normal", knowing that the next few weeks, months, year (or more) will be brutal, but that you will get there.


But know that even when you get to the new normal, be on the look out for triggers.  These insidious, unexpected moments that bring the grief storm raging back ashore will be with you for the rest of your life.


I have learned that some pain cannot be healed, but must be endured. I believe our Higher Power will help us to endure and find peace. I loved the boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable and he is taken from me-yet in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure, I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it."
-- William Wordsworth 1812

 

#20 of 47 OFFLINE   Joseph Bolus

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Posted June 04 2010 - 03:01 AM

Dave,


I have lost too many friends and relatives to cancer over the years.  It was always a horrendous experience; and especially so when the death comes early in life.



You have my deepest and sincerest condolences.


 

Joseph
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