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Funniest line in a movie?....


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86 replies to this topic

#1 of 87 todd s

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Posted March 18 2007 - 08:38 AM

Was watching Dodgeball the other night. And just was cracking up at the last line..... "Fucking Chuck Norris". Posted Image
Bring back John Doe! Or at least resolve the cliff-hanger with a 2hr movie or as an extra on a dvd release.

#2 of 87 PeterK

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Posted March 18 2007 - 08:45 AM

Mike white in Orange County playing the english teacher. Posted Image


Mr. Burke: Shaun! I read your story. You used a lot of big words. Great! Good for you! It was a little long, so I didn't read the whole thing, but who cares 'cause I gave you an A!

Mr. Burke: Now, when I say "Romeo and Juliet," who comes to mind?
Dana: Claire Danes?
Mr. Burke: That's right, Claire Danes. Who else?
Chad: Leonardo DiCaprio.
Mr. Burke: Right. Who else? Well, you know someone else was involved in that movie who in some ways is as famous as Leonardo Di Caprio. And his name is William Shakespeare. And some great movies have been made based on his plays: Hamlet, West Side Story, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Waterworld, Gladiator, Chocolat...


maybe not the funniest i've ever heard but it was in my head at the moment Posted Image
Vin Diesel will never, ever buy Bose

#3 of 87 mylan

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Posted March 18 2007 - 09:13 AM

SpaceBalls, when they are "combing" the desert for clues about the whereabouts of the princess and the white guys have this huge ace comb and say something like " we haven't found anything yet" and then the black team is shown with this huge ass pick and says "we ain't found shit", hilarous use of site gags as well.

Airplane, any line, just pick one. "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue" and "Do you like movies with gladiators" come to mind.
I know enough to know I don't know enough!

#4 of 87 Chuck Mayer

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Posted March 18 2007 - 09:43 AM

My favorite funny line is from a drama: Glory


(Morgan Freeman) John Rawlins: Where about you from?
(Denzel Washington) Trip: I'm from around Tennessee. I ran away when I was 12 years old and I ain't never looked back.
(Jihmi Kennedy) Sharts: W-W-Wh-What ya doin' since then?
Trip: I run for President.
Trip: I didn't win, though.
Hey buddy...did you just see a real bright light?

#5 of 87 Tim Glover

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Posted March 18 2007 - 03:51 PM

This is a tough one...often the really funny lines are funniest when they're seen in context...Need to give this some thought.

#6 of 87 Jason Harbaugh

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Posted March 18 2007 - 04:26 PM

This is kind of in the same tone as Todd's first example as it also uses the PG-13's one use of the word Fuck.

In the movie The Ringer (subpar movie) I about died when this line was uttered. It probably won't translate well to text, but in the context of the movie it is laugh out loud funny. The gang goes to the movie theater and when they are coming out get busted since they aren't supposed to leave the grounds of wherever they were supposed to be. Someone covers saying they went out for ice cream and everything gets settled. Just as everyone is leaving, in his best 'special' voice, Jed Rees yells "When the fuck did we get ice cream?" It just comes out of no where and the delivery is spot perfect.

#7 of 87 Mike Graham

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Posted March 18 2007 - 06:47 PM

Bill Murray in Groundhog Day:

Murray's character runs into an old acquaintance from high school on the street and spends five minutes "chatting" before he can finally get away from him; once he meets up with Andie McDowell she asks why he's late:

"It was awful, a giant leech attacked me."


#8 of 87 Adam Lenhardt

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Posted March 18 2007 - 07:19 PM

I'm going to follow Mike's format; if they're truly that funny, they shouldn't be ruined for people who haven't seen the movie.

When Harry Met Sally:
[Meg Ryan fakes an outrageous orgasm in a diner to prove her point]

Old lady at near by table: I'll have what she's having.


#9 of 87 Cees Alons

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Posted March 18 2007 - 11:47 PM

That lady was played by the director's mother, if I'm not mistaken.


Cees

#10 of 87 Al.Anderson

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Posted March 19 2007 - 01:17 AM

So many to choose from ... and I know there are funnier lines, but the one I wind up quoting the most is:

The In-Laws (1979) - Vince: (Regarding the benefits of working for the CIA):
"The benefits are terrific. The trick is not to get killed. That's really the key to the benefit program."

#11 of 87 Colton

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Posted March 19 2007 - 03:13 AM

Welcome to Marathon. May I help you?

Yes.

How may I help you?

You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat.

I don't care for the way you're speaking.

I don't care for the way your company left me in fucking nowhere with keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. I didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car ... right ... fucking ... now.

May I see your rental agreement?

I threw it away.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy, what?

You're fucked.

#12 of 87 Paul_Dunlop

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Posted March 19 2007 - 03:25 AM

^ Definitely!!!!!

How about Ghostbusters?

Where do these stairs go?
They go up......(insert name)...they go up
HD DVD in the house

#13 of 87 Tim Glover

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Posted March 19 2007 - 03:48 AM

A good one from Ghostbusters:

"is that true?"

Murray: "yes, this man has no dick." Posted Image

#14 of 87 Chris

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Posted March 19 2007 - 03:53 AM

"It's just a scratch" (the black knight, Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
My Current DVD-Profiler


"I've been Ostrafied!" - Christopher, Sopranos 5/6/07

#15 of 87 IanDP

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Posted March 19 2007 - 04:17 AM

This is Spinal Tap:
"He choked on somebody else's vomit."
...
"You can't really dust for vomit."


In keeping with the Chris Guest theme...
"To think in some countries these dogs are eaten."
Fred Willard, Best in Show.

#16 of 87 john doran

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Posted March 19 2007 - 04:23 AM

monty python's holy grail:

the effeminate and unattractive son is in his room looking contemplatively through the window. his gruff father stands next to him and makes a sweeping gesture in the direction of the window.

Father: "One day, lad, all of this will be yours"

Son: "What - the curtains?"

unbelievable.

i could just post 90% of the script from that show - it makes me laugh so hard i almost swallow my tongue.
 fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt

#17 of 87 Steve Christou

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Posted March 19 2007 - 06:08 AM

"My moustache still tastes of your testes!"


Borat.

Dave hören... auf, wille stoppen sie Dave... stoppen sie Dave... Mein gehirn geht... Ich bin gefühl es... Ich bin gefühl es... Ich bin ängstlich Dave... Guter Nachmittag. Ich bin ein HAL 9000 computer. Ich wurde funktionsfähig am HAL-Betrieb in Urbana, Illinois auf January 12 1992.


Lord of the Hubs


#18 of 87 PeterK

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Posted March 19 2007 - 06:28 AM

planes trains and automobiles, Colton?
yeahhh that's a good one...I think i'll watch that movie now Posted Image
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#19 of 87 Jacob McCraw

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Posted March 19 2007 - 08:23 AM

"You're dumber than you think I think you are."

Jake Gittes - Chinatown

#20 of 87 Adam_S

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Posted March 19 2007 - 08:50 AM

Hardly the funniest line in a movie ever, but I like it cause it's not even the proper line, and funnier.

from the Happy Gilmore tv version:

'The Price is wrong... Bobby!'