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They keep coming after me. Ideas to make it stop?

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34 replies to this topic

#1 of 35 OFFLINE   Edward Williams

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Posted January 31 2007 - 09:33 AM

Can someone help me please Posted Image

Ok, I've put a restraining order out on this person, but yet they still manage to get around the system by using that caller id change trick. They somehow put another persons phone number into their cell phone and call me from, who I think, is a friend or family's number. I'm getting 25-30 calls a day. Short of just not having a phone, is there any way of getting around this?

I've changed my number with the cell company, but about a month later, this stalker gets the new one again. I'm assuming they are doing a search thru an online paid service to look up my new cell number, but I’m not 100% sure. The last time I changed my number, I made sure I told only people I trusted 100% Which was 2 family members. Still, it got out.... so if I'm not overlooking anything, either the cell company is somehow giving it out (on purpose or accident) or they are searching online.

I wont get into details about why this person is so persistent, other than...they are very very crazy Posted Image but it bugs me that there isn’t anything you can do. Any hope for me?

#2 of 35 OFFLINE   Chris Lockwood

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Posted January 31 2007 - 09:51 AM

Do you know for sure it's always the same person? What do they say when they get on the line with you?

#3 of 35 OFFLINE   Eric Carl

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Posted January 31 2007 - 10:21 AM

I am unsure if you can do this with a cell....But here it comes anyway... Give them a fake name and tell them to still bill you. I did this with my family's landline... Wait a second I forgot the most logical question: what kind of calls are these? Are they attempting to sell you something? (Crazy Salesman) Crazy/Odd breathing that is followed with a hang up? (Genuine crazy... someone who is casing the area doesn't phone 25 times a day) Anway, taking a more serious tone.... Do you know the person? Could this person be a good friend of either you or of your 2 friends? Is it just a joke but you don't want to play anymore? You should be able to block them from phonig you IF they don't block their number. However, IF they do block their number, and you don't know it, their is very little you can do. I don't live where you do, but it is fairly easy and can be done cheap or free. IF they are selling you something this is very hard to block as most calls out of call centres have random extensions. IF you are not paying a bill on time, the company can and will go above you (to your bank or to take you to court) to collect payment and that WILL effect your Credit score. Better to deal with it, than ignoring it. And, if you got a free TV from some time share company, than you probably forgot to read the fine print, the TV ain't yours if you ain't buying. Again you brought this random post by not supplying specifics.

#4 of 35 OFFLINE   Edward Williams

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Posted January 31 2007 - 10:30 AM

Yes, I'm 99.9% that it's the same person. They do the exact same thing each time. They'll ask me to hear what they have to say (there's history between us, so that’s why they’re so persistent) But I'll hang up as soon as they call...(this is during the times that I don’t know who’s actually calling) Other times, they just hang up. But I’m very sure that it's the same person that calls when they just hang up. It’s pretty obvious. Besides, no one else really knows my number at this point. Is it legal to record their conversation? Do I have to tell them that I'm recording them, for it to be used against them? What's the rules on that? Because this is the only way that I can think to catch them in the act. But on another note, I dont even have a recorder on my cell phone (and they know this). But if it's legal, then I can always go buy a cell phone with the feature. Its' worth it at this point.

#5 of 35 OFFLINE   Jon_Are



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Posted January 31 2007 - 10:56 AM

How about just not answering unless it's a number from someone you recognize? Still annoying, but I imagine the calls would stop after awhile if you never, ever answer them.

#6 of 35 OFFLINE   Edward Williams

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Posted January 31 2007 - 11:02 AM

in response....this is a crazy ex that's doing this. (that's how I got a restraining order on them) is there a way to block a blocked number from a cel phone? But then again...this wont work because they are also calling from numbers of my family members by using the caller id trick i mentioned before. The correct term is called, Called ID Spoofing. I dont know if it's the stalker or if it's family that's calling because different numbers that I trust pop up.

#7 of 35 OFFLINE   Bruce Hedtke

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Posted January 31 2007 - 12:15 PM

You could try getting a pager and tell whoever you trust to page you for a callback. When they leave their number to call back, have them add a sequence of numbers after their phone number to identify who is calling (Ex. Mom is xxx-xxx-xxxx-001, Dad is xxx-xxx-xxxx-002). Anyone who pages you with a trusted number but doesn't supply the agreed upon code doesn't get called back. The code can be anything...say 888 or 111 or whatever. Bruce
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#8 of 35 OFFLINE   Bryan X

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Posted January 31 2007 - 12:55 PM

Well, just note the phone number that pops up on the Caller ID but don't answer. If it's a number you know, then call that number back. That way you won't ever have to talk to the 'stalker'. Sure, you'll call a few family members back when they didn't really call you. But I'm sure they'll understand under the circumstances. And hopefully, if you do this for a while, the stalker will get bored because, as far as they know, you aren't answering the number anymore.

#9 of 35 OFFLINE   Carl Miller

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Posted January 31 2007 - 12:57 PM

I agree with this. I think I'd just assign a specific ring tone to wanted callers and another for unknown callers and just not answer the unknown callers. Maybe there's a way to even block voicemail access to unknown callers so unknown callers just get an endless ring or the phone picks up and just doesn't give a voicemail option. They can't do this forever.

#10 of 35 OFFLINE   Jon Martin

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Posted January 31 2007 - 01:41 PM

If your number is still getting out, one of those two friends is not your friend. New phone numbers don't show up in databases right away, and cell phone usually never do. I don't know the details of the case, but I'd call the police or your lawyer since this is going beyond harassment it seems.

#11 of 35 OFFLINE   MarkHastings


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Posted January 31 2007 - 02:04 PM

Isn't ID spoofing illegal? Doesn't a restraining order also apply to phone calls? and even if neither of them are illegal, the combination of the two...PLUS a restraining order, definitely sounds like grounds for harsh legal punishment. What do the cops say?

#12 of 35 OFFLINE   Jeff Gatie

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Posted January 31 2007 - 04:11 PM

Call the cops . . . and buy a gun (not necessarily in that order). Trust me, I've been there. On another note, recording the calls depends on local laws. Some states only require you to have one party aware of the recording, others require both. Check your local laws.

#13 of 35 OFFLINE   JohnRice


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Posted January 31 2007 - 04:15 PM

In most cases, if you are in the same state it is completely legal to record a phone conversation you are personally participating in without notifying the other parties. There are 12 states it is not permitted. Specifics are available HERE. If you both live in the same state and it is a "single party" state, absolutely record everything you can. Let them hang themselves. Still, it is always a good idea to consult an attorney first.

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#14 of 35 OFFLINE   Claudia P

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Posted February 01 2007 - 02:23 AM

You have a restraining order. Your ex is in breach of the terms & conditions of the restraining order. Call the police. Let the law courts deal with this person. End of story.

#15 of 35 OFFLINE   Colton


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Posted February 01 2007 - 03:13 AM

I have this cool phone gadget that connects between the phone and the wall plug. It works like this ... the device has a 3-digit access code. When a person calls they hear a *beep* - unless they know the 3-digit code the phone will not ring. So, you only give the code to family and friends. It's a great device. - Colton

#16 of 35 OFFLINE   Edward Williams

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Posted February 01 2007 - 05:16 AM

I think I'm going to invest in some sort of recorder that connects to cell phones. She calls my phone and almost always just wants to talk to me. And I'm covered under the "one party" law for recording conversations. So my next step is to contact the law enforcement and see how seriously they would take a copy of this recording. IF this is something they could go after her with. As far as just going to the law and just letting them take care of it. I would just be able to say that she keeps calling and calling. Something tells me that they're not going to waste too much time going after someone that I have no proof that it's them (since they use other peoples numbers, and the never leave a message). They’re just seems to be so many loopholes when it comes to technology. The literature I’ve read on these laws seems to have so many grey areas. So without some sort of recording, I’m sure it will be very low priority for the police. I'm also at the point that I want to make sure she gets punished for this, so she thinks twice before doing this again 2 months down the road, or to someone else. I just feel like I shouldn’t have go through so steps just to take a call from my father or friends.....

#17 of 35 OFFLINE   Adam Gregorich

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Posted February 01 2007 - 05:29 AM

Get her a new boyfriend.

#18 of 35 OFFLINE   Adam Gregorich

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Posted February 01 2007 - 05:29 AM

Get her a new boyfriend. That will make it stop (for you at least).

#19 of 35 OFFLINE   Edward Williams

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Posted February 01 2007 - 05:33 AM

You know....its funnny you say that, cause that's exactly what would make it stop! If any of my friends like psychos then I would sick them on her (or her on him)....but I couldnt do that to them.

#20 of 35 OFFLINE   Trey Fletcher

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Posted February 01 2007 - 06:16 AM

Ed: I know it may be a painful few minutes, but why not just once, give this person a few minutes to get whatever is bugging them off their chest? Then when they're finished, kindly let them know that you heard what they had to say, but that it doesn't change how you feel and that you're moving on with your life, and that they would probably be happier if they did the same. I'm sure it doesn't sound like a lot of fun at this point, but it just may do the trick without having to resort to tape recorders, attorneys, law enforcement, etc. Perhaps you've already done that, but by the looks of your post it seems you haven't. Anyway, just a thought.
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