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The Eternal Simpsons Quote Thread


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450 replies to this topic

#1 of 451 OFFLINE   David Oliver

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Posted September 19 2000 - 06:34 AM

Nothing can brighten up a dreary day then a Simpsons quote. This thread will provide (hoprefully) a never-ending array of them. So come here and read them and be sure to add them.

Sea Captain on the phone: "Call me back, Ishmael!"


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#2 of 451 OFFLINE   DustinDavis

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Posted September 19 2000 - 07:03 AM

Mr. Burns: "Smithers, I've got a rocket in my pocket."

Smithers: "Uh, you don't have to tell me that, sir."

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#3 of 451 OFFLINE   Henry C

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Posted September 19 2000 - 07:44 AM

Homer: "Damn sexy Flanders!"

(actually, I'm not too sure on the exact quote, but it's in the spirit)

Posted Image

Henry

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"You cannot make an omelet without breaking an egg, every cook will tell you that!
But look what happened to the cook!!"
"You cannot make an omelet without breaking an egg, every cook will tell you that!

But look what happened to the cook!!"

#4 of 451 OFFLINE   Mitty

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Posted September 19 2000 - 07:56 AM

Homer (wielding an axe and a stopwatch): "I'm Mike Wallace. I'm Morley Safer. And I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on '60 Minutes'"

Ralph Wiggum: "Me fail English? That's UNpossible."

#5 of 451 OFFLINE   CharlesD

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Posted September 19 2000 - 08:22 AM

Homer(reading Mr.Burns's phone messages):"You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes to move your car. Your car is now being impounded. Your car is now being crushed into a cube. You have 30 mintues to move your cube."
(Phone Rings)
Mr Burns:"Is that about my cube?"

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#6 of 451 OFFLINE   PeteyG

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Posted September 19 2000 - 09:18 AM

One Word

DOH!

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#7 of 451 OFFLINE   Adnan Sheikh

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Posted September 19 2000 - 09:23 AM

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times? Stupid monkey!"

Hehehe.

#8 of 451 OFFLINE   Matthew Chmiel

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Posted September 19 2000 - 09:28 AM

Homer Simpson: "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

#9 of 451 OFFLINE   Mike St.Louis

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Posted September 19 2000 - 11:04 AM

Simpson's and Flanders in the Flander's car.

Homer: "Don't worry, I brought my "Rappin' Ronnie Reagan" tape. It always makes the trip go faster.

Tape: "Well, Well, W-W-W-W-Well, Well, DING, DING, DING, Well, Well, W-W-W-W-WELL..."

Homer: Heh-Heh-heh. You know something? He DID say 'Well' a lot!"

Tape: "Well, Well, W-W-W-W-Well, Well, DING, DING, DING, Well, Well, W-W-W-W-WELL..."


#10 of 451 OFFLINE   Eric-S

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Posted September 19 2000 - 11:41 AM

Teachers in the back of the aud. for an assembly. From the podium you hear the quote. "A Noble spirit embiggins the smallest man"

One teacher says to another. "I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield"

The other teacher says "Embiggins...it's a perfectly cromulent word"

#11 of 451 OFFLINE   Brad Grenz

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Posted September 19 2000 - 12:35 PM

Ralph Wiggum: "I bent my wookie!"

or

Homer to Chief Wiggum at the Chili Cook-off: "Hey chief, don't quit your day job, whatever that is."

or

Homer: "It's cool in here, for the rest of the summer we can live in the refrigorator."
later: "I got the idea when I noticed the fridge was cold!"

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#12 of 451 OFFLINE   Timmy

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Posted September 19 2000 - 01:28 PM

Donut-Man delivers huge quantity of boxes of product to the power plant daily. One day he was told to not bring any in. When he asked why he was told:

"Homer Simpson is on a diet"

Donut-Man "On no; I just bought a new boat"

#13 of 451 OFFLINE   McPaul

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Posted September 19 2000 - 08:02 PM

hehe... just saw the episode where maude flanders dies with the 'bible blaster' video game that rod and tod have...

bert is kicking some serious hiney in the game converting the heathens...

rod and tod "can we play"
bart "you are playing man!, we're a TEAM!!
rod and tod "YAY!!!!!YAY!!!!!"

hehe.. we used to say that all the time when we were kids.... *L*

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#14 of 451 OFFLINE   richard plumb

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Posted September 19 2000 - 10:05 PM

My favourite is the 'lord of the flies' episode, where Ralph eats some dodgy berries

'It tastes like burning'

Ralphs the best.
Show me the Monkey!

#15 of 451 OFFLINE   Eric Finn

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Posted September 20 2000 - 12:42 AM

One Word

"Craptacular"

#16 of 451 OFFLINE   PienSavaca

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Posted September 20 2000 - 12:51 AM

[Homer, on 'Lard Lad']

"He came to life. Good for him!"


"I got kissed... and, and, and I shoplifted."

#17 of 451 OFFLINE   Andrej Dolenc

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Posted September 20 2000 - 02:08 AM

Just saw this on a t-shirt this weekend:

Worst Episode Ever.

Andrej

#18 of 451 OFFLINE   Lars Larsen

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Posted September 20 2000 - 02:11 AM

My favorite quote has to be:

TV-reporter:"People are calling this a meltdown."
Mr. Burns:"Oh, meltdown, It's one of those annoying "buzzwords".
We prefer to call it an "unrequested fission surplus.""

- Lars from Mars
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#19 of 451 OFFLINE   Bernhard

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Posted September 20 2000 - 02:34 AM

Homer Simpson: If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they make my shoes smell good?
Posted Image
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Mace Windu: "Do you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese on Coruscant?"

#20 of 451 OFFLINE   JonZ

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Posted September 20 2000 - 02:39 AM

1.Homer"And that's when the C.H.U.D.S. came after us"
Marge" Oh Homer of course you're gonna have bad memories of New York if all you think about are the pimps and the C.H.U.D.S."

2.Homer runs down the street naked....
Flanders"Hey Homer,we can see your Doodle"
Homer"Shut up Flanders"

3.Smithers"MMMMMMMM...The Bear Simpson,The Bear!"

4.Again Bear episode...
Mr Burns"What's that you say, you don't need Television as long as you have beer?"
Homer"That's right!"
Mr Burns"All Beer truck heading towards Springfield have been diverted...."