Posted October 23 2006 - 04:52 AM
| "If you were to die tomorrow, would you be happy with your life so far?" - HELL YES I would!! |
Haven't you just answered your own question again there Mark? There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you are leading your life (from what you described anyway - you better not be running a half-assed orphanage out of your basement
). If your friends don't understand it or agree with it, that's their problem. Now I know that's an easy thing to say...As much as we all "don't care what others say", we likely want our friends and family to have respect for us or at least be happy for us. I can see how that could drag you down a bit. But you still aren't doing anything wrong. I know you can't scrap your family and ALL your friends, but it couldn't hurt to find some new ones and avoid some of the more painful ones. To quote William Burroughs:
| "If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need pernicious anemia...." |
You mentioned something else as well:
| I remember always striving for 'something else better' and was always either disappointed that it didn't happen or disappointed when it did happen. |
Try to find a book called The Paradox Of Choice
by Barry Schwartz. He discusses the concept of people who are "satisficers" and those who are "maximizers". Those who set their requirements, meet them and are happy with that tend to be much happier and less stressed than those who always need to do or get the best. That doesn't mean you have to settle for something or sit back and never move forward, but if you are satisfied be happy about that.
And no, that doesn't mean you have to have kids. I firmly believe that I could be completely happy if my wife and I did not have a child. Of course, I can't quite picture my life without my son, but that's just because he's such a huge part of it. Though our social circle is certainly leaning more towards people who have children these days, we're lucky in that we still have and maintain relationships with several very good friends who do not have children. And some of those are single as well. I certainly miss the freedom that they have in doing things at the drop of a hat or persuing other activities. But that's OK. I'm pretty damn happy with what I've got. And they are pretty damn happy with what they have too.