BrianW
Senior HTF Member
- Joined
- Jan 30, 1999
- Messages
- 2,563
- Real Name
- Brian
Here are just a few things I see all too often in TV SF that make me groan, or even turn the TV off. It should be noted that I’ve tried to exclude very specific applications of science or technology that exist solely to serve as plot devices (warp particles). As plot devices, they serve a purpose, albeit a lazy one. Instead, I’ve tried to comprise my list of broad notions that, apparently, screenwriters think are appropriate in any SF setting:
”We’re from a different galaxy.” – You must be from the most boring galaxy in the Universe, then, because nothing could possibly be worth crossing the intergalactic void. It would be like an ant colony deciding to travel to a different continent, on a different planet, because its own continent wasn’t enough. And to make matters more difficult, the galaxy you finally reach will look nothing like it did from back home. (“Dang! That pretty star we came to see got blowed up even before we started our trip!”)
It’s an element unknown to man. – Unless you’re in a different universe, then you should easily be able to weigh and test a sample to determine what element or isotope of an element it is. And if you’re able to make it this far and determine that it is and element, and not an alloy or a mass on interconnected nanobots, then identifying the atomic number should be a snap.
”Your guns are no match for our lasers.” – Dr. Who said it best: “Those projectile weapons will blow your brains out a lot more effectively than your lasers will blow their brains out.”
”Our race is more evolved.” – Your race may be more technologically advanced, perhaps even more intelligent. But evolution does not “seek” any goal such as intelligence, enlightenment, or technical ability. It seeks only adaptability, and intelligence is but one of many tools in its arsenal to achieve that singular goal.
Telepathy is the next evolutionary step. – Many truly believe this despite the fact that nobody knows how telepathy would work even if it did spontaneously arise. Indeed, the best evidence for this notion is that “telepathy is futuristic.” (All this means is that it hasn’t happened yet – doesn’t mean it’s gonna.)
Simultaneity between events in two reference frames, light years apart. – Although the notion of simultaneity is as entrenched in our way of thinking as object permanence, it just isn’t so on a galactic scale. Pushing a button here that causes something to happen “immediately” on the other side of the galaxy is a natural way to think, given that it is technologically possible. But the two events could happen simultaneously, or up to 50,000 years apart – in either direction! – depending entirely on the reference frame of the observer. This is, perhaps, the most forgivable error since it is so counterintuitive.
To hit the moon, just aim at the moon and press the launch button. – Orbital mechanics is just a little more complicated than that.
Objects that collapse into black holes (for whatever reason) intensify their gravitational pull on objects that are no closer than before the collapse. – If the Moon, without the addition of more mass, suddenly collapsed into a black hole, it would continue to orbit the Earth as it always has. Although eclipses would be boring, the Earth would not get sucked up.
Very weak communications signals take a lot of power to amplify and clean up. – Never mind life support! Reroute all power! I have to hear what she said! Play it again, LOUDER!
”My name would take you 50 years to pronounce.” – How about if I just call you Stupid? Or would Stupid Alien be better?
”We’re from a different galaxy.” – You must be from the most boring galaxy in the Universe, then, because nothing could possibly be worth crossing the intergalactic void. It would be like an ant colony deciding to travel to a different continent, on a different planet, because its own continent wasn’t enough. And to make matters more difficult, the galaxy you finally reach will look nothing like it did from back home. (“Dang! That pretty star we came to see got blowed up even before we started our trip!”)
It’s an element unknown to man. – Unless you’re in a different universe, then you should easily be able to weigh and test a sample to determine what element or isotope of an element it is. And if you’re able to make it this far and determine that it is and element, and not an alloy or a mass on interconnected nanobots, then identifying the atomic number should be a snap.
”Your guns are no match for our lasers.” – Dr. Who said it best: “Those projectile weapons will blow your brains out a lot more effectively than your lasers will blow their brains out.”
”Our race is more evolved.” – Your race may be more technologically advanced, perhaps even more intelligent. But evolution does not “seek” any goal such as intelligence, enlightenment, or technical ability. It seeks only adaptability, and intelligence is but one of many tools in its arsenal to achieve that singular goal.
Telepathy is the next evolutionary step. – Many truly believe this despite the fact that nobody knows how telepathy would work even if it did spontaneously arise. Indeed, the best evidence for this notion is that “telepathy is futuristic.” (All this means is that it hasn’t happened yet – doesn’t mean it’s gonna.)
Simultaneity between events in two reference frames, light years apart. – Although the notion of simultaneity is as entrenched in our way of thinking as object permanence, it just isn’t so on a galactic scale. Pushing a button here that causes something to happen “immediately” on the other side of the galaxy is a natural way to think, given that it is technologically possible. But the two events could happen simultaneously, or up to 50,000 years apart – in either direction! – depending entirely on the reference frame of the observer. This is, perhaps, the most forgivable error since it is so counterintuitive.
To hit the moon, just aim at the moon and press the launch button. – Orbital mechanics is just a little more complicated than that.
Objects that collapse into black holes (for whatever reason) intensify their gravitational pull on objects that are no closer than before the collapse. – If the Moon, without the addition of more mass, suddenly collapsed into a black hole, it would continue to orbit the Earth as it always has. Although eclipses would be boring, the Earth would not get sucked up.
Very weak communications signals take a lot of power to amplify and clean up. – Never mind life support! Reroute all power! I have to hear what she said! Play it again, LOUDER!
”My name would take you 50 years to pronounce.” – How about if I just call you Stupid? Or would Stupid Alien be better?