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HTF REVIEW: Doom



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#1 of 66 Steve Tannehill

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Posted February 17 2006 - 09:35 AM

Posted Image
Doom
Studio: Universal Studios Home Video
Year: 2005 (2006 Release)
Rated: Not Rated
Aspect Ratio: 2.35x1, enhanced for 16x9 displays
Audio: English, French, Spanish DD 5.1
Captions/Subtitles: English SDH; French and Spanish Subtitles
Time: 1:53
Disc Format: Unknown
Case Style: Keep Case

The Feature:
I wrote this review on Valentine's Day, and held off posting it because it was so negative. In this time of roses and chocolates, there is one sure-fired way you can get rid of your significant other: force them to sit through Doom. This movie is not just bad, it is awful. It is an exercise in pointless and graphic violence, with a story that is insulting not only to Marines, but to science fiction fans, and to the video game players that the movie was (apparently) made to entertain. Avoid this movie like the plague.

I have played Doom and Doom II. I never got into Doom 3, although I might after getting my Xbox 360. I always liked Halo and Halo 2 over the basic first-person-shooter because it had a story. The point of the most basic first-person shooter game is to go through a maze of rooms and to blast anything that comes out at you. If the weapon is a chainsaw, bonus. Minutes can turn into hours when you are immersed in an "involving" video game--I am reluctant to say "good" here because I am about to draw some analogies.

Minutes seemed like hours when I watched the movie Doom. A science station on a Mars outpost has had a security breach, and a so-called group of Marines, let by Sarge (The Rock) are summoned to help recover company property, rescue the scientists, and secure the settlers--pretty much in that order. When the marines finally make it to the inside of the facility, the scientists are turning into zombie-like creatures with a penchant for blood. There is a side story about the lead female scientist and her marine brother, and some nonsense about genetic engineering, but not enough to detract from The Rock going boom, boom, boom, boom on the bad zombies. And the people who are about to turn into bad zombies. And on good people who are not zombies. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, his troops are special, too. One of them is a cutter--as in cutting on his own skin. One is a drug addict. One is inexperienced. They are all stereotypes. Yawn.

What were the producers and director thinking? When I think about good movies set in a similar atmosphere, I think of Aliens or Predator (pretty much in that order). With Doom, I had the finger poised on the remote control. When it got too violent, I skipped to the next chapter. The upshot? It made the movie shorter. I feel for anyone who endured this movie in the theater. As one of my friends put it, he saw it in a dollar theater, and wanted his dollar back.

I hate writing reviews that are so negative, but there is nothing good I can say about this movie. The Rock is headed down a career path started by Brian Bosworth. Maybe he should consider going back to pro-wrestling.

Meanwhile, I have suggestions for movies made from video games. They can't be any worse than Doom:

Space Invaders: The Movie - an unemployed actor (Brian Bosworth, possibly The Rock) race against time to defend their town as aliens descend from above, moving in formation across the night sky.

Pac Man: The Movie - Pac Man (P. Diddy) has a problem of compulsively eating dots until he meets Ms. Pac Man (Queen Latifa), who tries to show the undying power of love, and the benefits of adding fruit to the diet. The Pacs are haunted by a group of ghosts, led by Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, and in a historic first, CGI characters based on Redd Foxx and Richard Pryor.

You get the idea. In my opinion, the video game movie genre is dead, thanks to Doom. Fear Halo: The Movie. Fear it.

The Feature: Not Rated / 5
Not Rated


Video:
The screener provided was watermarked on DVD-R. To quote the letter that accompanied the disc: Please note that the viewing quality of the disc may be affected by the watermarking process and is in no way representative of the picture and sound quality of actual final product. I can not judge video quality based on this, sorry.

Video: Not Rated / 5
Not Rated


Sound:
See above.

Sound: Not Rated / 5
Not Rated


Extras:
The extras are a saving grace, if anything can be said in positive light for Doom.

However, when I got to my computer to spin them up for timing and viewing, the DVD-R provided as a screener wouldn't play. I have a high-end Power Mac G5. I make DVD's. And despite Universal's apparent concern that all reviewers are pirates, I don't copy them. Grrr.

Of what I recall when I had this in the real DVD player, there was an interesting documentary on the history of Doom, from its origins as a video game, to the new-and improved Doom 3 game on Xbox. There is a playable demo of Doom 3 for Xbox. There is a strategy video for playing Doom 3. There was behind-the-scenes footage of the "marines" in training, and the Rock getting make-up. There is also a feature on the making of Stan Winston's creatures.

Extras: 3 / 5
Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image


In Conclusion:
I have so many problems with Doom that I hate to post this review. You deserve better. Universal deserves better. So with that in mind, going forward, I am going to only review final product. I am not going to put compromised video and audio on a reference system and tell you if it is good or bad. That is a waste of your time and mine.

So is Doom.

Overall Rating: Not Rated / 5
Not Rated




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#2 of 66 Aaron Silverman

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Posted February 17 2006 - 09:44 AM

Hey, if nothing else, it inspired you to come up with Pac-Man: The Movie! Posted Image

Thanks for sitting through this so the rest of us won't have to.

Quote:
In my opinion, the video game movie genre is dead, thanks to Doom. Fear Halo: The Movie. Fear it.

Hopefully Halo will be more like the Resident Evil films, which were pretty decent.

(That new Milla Jovovich flick looks a LOT like them, actually -- I wonder if it started development as RE3!)
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#3 of 66 Matt Stone

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Posted February 17 2006 - 03:27 PM

Quote:
(That new Milla Jovovich flick looks a LOT like them, actually -- I wonder if it started development as RE3!)


I'm more excited because it's from the director of the excellent Equilibrium, Kurt Wimmer. Can't wait to see that.

I may rent Doom just for the experience Posted Image
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#4 of 66 Steve Tannehill

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Posted February 17 2006 - 05:30 PM

Thanks, guys. There actually is a Pac Man movie coming. (Shudder.)

Hey, just to show that there are no hard feelings, I do have a t-shirt and poster for giveaway courtesy Universal Studios Home Video (they really promoted this with swag--I'm keeping the hat).

The extra-large t-shirt is grey, with "DOOM" on the front. The poster is of the DVD cover art on heavy stock.

I'll spring for shipping to someone who posts something creative in this thread regarding, well, anything. Make up a good video game movie scenario. Tell us why you loved or hated this movie. Give your favorite chili recipe (it's going to be icy around here this weekend, I need one). Whatever!

By the way, I just saw the real Pride & Prejudice DVD, and although I hesitate to bring it up in a thread about Doom, this movie has at least restored my faith in movies and DVD's in general. More to come...

Have a great weekend, everyone!

- Steve

#5 of 66 mike caronia

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Posted February 17 2006 - 05:32 PM

I was a doom/quake junkie in the mid 90s and I enjoyed this flick. Call me a masochist. I thought it was bad, don't get me wrong, but it was so bad it was good.
No real plot, terrible stereotypes, worse acting, lotsa gore.
Yup, that's doom.
The 5 minute POV sequence was worth it for me alone.

#6 of 66 dpippel

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Posted February 18 2006 - 02:35 AM

I didn't think Doom was *that* bad. After all, the film is based on a video game that has a one paragraph plot. I didn't expect much.

There were two things that really bothered me: the carnage level and body count was WAY too low for a Doom movie, and the plot change from a "portal to hell" being opened and releasing its demonic denizens to monsters caused by "genetic mutations" as a result of DNA research gone awry. The later was completely uncalled for and totally changed the plot (what little there is) for the worse.

I've seen worse films than Doom and found it to be mildly entertaining, probably because of my exposure to the video game more than any real redeeming qualities.
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#7 of 66 AlexF

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Posted February 18 2006 - 03:37 AM

I personally can't wait for the Gran Turismo A-Spec movie.

Oh wait... I think that they added a 'story' and turned it into the Fast and the Furious. Of course, the Midnight Run game creators then tried to take credit for the inspiration there. Posted Image

To be honest, out of the entire Doom DVD, the only thing that sounds worthwhile is the 'history' of thing you mentioned. I bet that it runs 3-5 minutes long though.

#8 of 66 Steve Tannehill

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Posted February 18 2006 - 04:07 AM

The history segment was actually closer to 15 minutes--very detailed.

- Steve

#9 of 66 Michael Osadciw

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Posted February 18 2006 - 05:35 AM

i'm hoping the film version of the game "Silent Hill" isn't crap. They were filming it her by my house for a few nights...bloody stadium light was so bright it kept me up for nights...not to mention the amount of fake fog that was flying everywhere all night...

Mike
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#10 of 66 AlexF

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Posted February 18 2006 - 08:09 AM

Re: Silent Hill...

reminds me of when they were filming RE:2 here in town. blocking off several of the major thoroughfares from about 8pm until 4am or so for about a week. a bit frustrating, but pretty cool at the same time.

#11 of 66 Mark Lucas

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Posted February 18 2006 - 10:58 AM

This is the most detailed review I've ever read. Posted Image

#12 of 66 Johnny Jr.

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Posted February 18 2006 - 12:59 PM

For Steve:

A recipe for a video game movie or a great chili sauce,

2lbs. ground beef. A movie star that is preferably beefy and tenderized. Their intelligence must be limited or else they would never take the role.

1 large onion chopped. This gives the actor the ability to appear sentimental. If onions aren’t available just remind them that their salary is tied to the profits of the film.

4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced - While essential to a good chili sauce, garlic is also the STENCH factor that will keep the audience away from the theater. If you are unsure of what I mean then just read any script written by Paul W.S. Anderson.

1/2 cup ketchup - Blood, blood and more BLOOD! Don’t make it appear too real or you may be in danger of losing your pg-13 rating.

1/4 cup barbecue sauce - BBQ sauce accounts for any alien, vampire, werewolf, plumber, zombie, or android blood/fluid that may be required.

1 tablespoon hot sauce - This represents the “hype factor”. This will include a carefully crafted movie trailer that shows just enough substance to give the appearance of a coherent film. It will also include a marketing campaign that targets those who think spam is a dietary staple.

2 tablespoons French’s yellow mustard. - Shake in some random French kissing with a love interest that will most likely die or be turned into a princess, demon, alien, or zombie.

Simmer for 90 minutes…..serve with a smile.
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#13 of 66 Matt Leigh

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Posted February 18 2006 - 04:08 PM

Am I the only person here who is dissapointed that the reviewer actually fast forwarded through the film by skipping chapters and then wrote the review? A bad movie it probably may be but the only way to give an honest review is to watch the whole film.

#14 of 66 BrandonJF

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Posted February 19 2006 - 05:42 AM

Quote:
Am I the only person here who is dissapointed that the reviewer actually fast forwarded through the film by skipping chapters and then wrote the review?


Yeah, I find that kinda odd as well. Especially since he skipped past the parts where it "got too violent". If a movie like Doom has a point, that's it. It's like watching a horror movie and skipping a chapter when it looks like something scary might happen.

Doesn't really bother me, though - I already saw the movie. I thought it was nothing great, but it certainly wasn't on the same horrible level that I found something like "Alien Vs. Predator" to be on. Fans of the games were really only served by the FPS sequence at the end, which I'll admit I thought was very cool.

It certainly looked and sounded great on my system, though. That was at least something ...

#15 of 66 Hector.B

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Posted February 19 2006 - 07:19 AM

Yeah, skipping through parts of a movie is not cool and should never happen when a review going to be written.

#16 of 66 Chad Ferguson

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Posted February 19 2006 - 08:09 AM

I agree with the last couple posts. Actually I wonder why this review was written at all. The whole point of these is to tell me if a possible purchase is a quality release or not and nothing is given on the audio or the video cause of the watermarks. This makes me think why review it all then? Also skipping past parts and then try to talk about the movie is a waste. Review the whole product or nothing at all. I like the dvdfile rules, no rules of watermakred DVD's.

#17 of 66 Steve Tannehill

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Posted February 19 2006 - 09:26 AM

Are you saying that other sites judge video and sound quality based on watermarked DVD's?

That are re-authored from a 9-gig SS/DL disc to fit on a 4.7 gig SS/SL DVD-R?

Losing almost half the audio and video bandwidth?

That won't even play on all systems?

How exactly can *I* judge the quality of a release and tell you about it when the copy I was provided was intentionally crippled by the studio?

You're right--going forward, I am going to review the whole product, or nothing at all.

And when it comes to crap movies like Doom, I won't even review them. Life is too short.

- Steve

#18 of 66 Matt Gordon

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Posted February 19 2006 - 11:30 AM

Steve,

I'd try for the tee shirt if I could think of anything creative, but...

I'd like to see a really cool, atmospheric movie based on MYST. Maybe directed by M. Knight. Shyamalan so he could throw an unexpected twist in the end that makes the whole movie make a lot more sense.

So I'd be looking for huge landscape visuals like from the Lord of the Rings movies meets Cast Away (you know, the Tom Hanks and "Wilson" movie), and that erie, foreboding atmosphere that "Insomnia" tried to pull off, but couldn't.

Well done, it would be cool. Done-wrong, it would be boring and predicatable.
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#19 of 66 EricW

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Posted February 19 2006 - 12:35 PM

Quote:
Minutes can turn into hours when you are immersed in an "involving" video game



don't you mean 'hours can turn into minutes'?


-sorry - i think what you were going for was 'play for a few minutes, it turns into hours' while i thought you meant 'playing for hours, felt like minutes'.
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#20 of 66 Rakesh.S

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Posted February 19 2006 - 01:24 PM

when it got too violent? what the hell?

umm, this is DOOM, not narnia.


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