|The real problem I have with worrying about or blaming other parents is that it doens't do anything for you or your kids.|
Hey, I just came here to rant and get a little "one time I saw" discussion going. I didn't expect to take on the whole forum!
As long as people now realize that's all I was doing and wasn't trying to claim my kid is an angel or that I worship him, etc... it's all good.
|If he does something outside that bubble, the parent freaks out.|
It's not our freaking out, it's more that a kid that age shouldn't be doing that stuff. I've tried to make that clear, but I'm not certain if I've succeeded in that.
If a kid is, say, six, I'd have no problems with toy gun play. But at three we're trying to get our son to develop creatively and intelligently. He can do a 25 piece jigsaw puzzle in about 10 minutes and impressed his teachers by being one of the only kids in his class to recognize all the letters.
| Belive me, I get it. I don't need a kid to understand.|
I'll respectively disagree with you and leave it at that. You may understand or you may not. I think everyone goes into parenthood with expectations and notions. But when you start actually doing
it those notions change. There are developmental milestones and behaviors to steer and correct. Pretend gun play may just be boys-will-be-boys to you, but when your kid starts doing it and it's not something he would have experienced around the house, not of your moral standing, and not in your kid's developmental plan, yeah, it's a hell of a surprise and the first thing you think of is "what parent would let their three year old play this way?"
I think we've said all there is to say on this. As long as everyone understands the "my litle angel" thing was an incorrect perception, it's all good.
|a LOT of them were just over protection that really screwed me up.|
Oh, man, you have my sympathies. We have some friends who are like that and we just keep getting suprised.
- The kid slept in their bed every night until he was well past turning six. And only then because they were starting to realize they'd made a mistake. When dad tried to get the boy to sleep in his room one night the kid said "no, you sleep in there and sleep in there EVERY NIGHT." Dad lost that battle. For the next two years.
- They keep the house so clean and spotless the kid built no immune system and, thus, seemed to always be on antibiotics "What? Again?" (if mom tries on a blouse and decides not to wear it she doesn't hang it back up, she throws it in the hamper. germs, you know)
- They got a new nanny and expressed annoyance that she bathed him on her first day without telling them. My wife and I both thought the same thing - that they were concerned about the intimate nature of the activity. No. They were concerned the kid might drown
! "You can drown in an inch of water!" we were told. They said they don't even let his mother bathe the kid without one of them present.
- My wife asked the mom why they didn't put the kid in preschool during one conversation and the mom said it was because she was afriad terrorists might take over the school. I kid you not.
oh, it goes on. I hope this doesn't sound like your childhood!