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"Customer Locator Codes"

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7 replies to this topic

#1 of 8 OFFLINE   Micah Cohen

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Posted January 16 2006 - 02:05 PM

I have no Netflixes for this evening, and I feel like it's my duty to get everyone's attention off the fate of the poor little doggie, so let me ask this question:

What do the "Customer Locator Codes" now found on the back of "postpaid return mail" envelopes actually do?

For years it has been a habit of mine that I collect all the stupid junk mail -- credit card offers and magazine subscription come-ons, etc -- in a big pile and every once in a while I'll go thru it and make a big pile of the post paid return envelopes that are always included in credit card offers and magazine subscription come-ons. I stuff the post paid return envelopes with the (anonymous) marketing loot that is also found inside the junk mail, and I put the whole pile back in the mail box the next day.

I figure, if they send this stuff out and then have to pay for it (junk mailers only pay return postage if the post paid envelope goes into the mail), maybe they will... I don't know, find god or something and stop junk mailing me. I know it's pointless, but I do like the idea of making them pay for the postage for nothing.

Now, I've noticed that some of the envelopes have ominous-looking bar-codes on the backs, "Customer Locator Codes"! But, the codes are all pre-printed. And, I've seen other people's junk mail, and their codes are exactly the same as the codes on my junk mail. So, the codes are really meaningless. They are just there to scare us! They are just there to eff with people like me, people who send back the empty post paid envelopes, causing the junk mailer to have to pay for postage for nothing! These meaningless bits of ominously labeled bar codes are just there to intimidate us into not sending the post paid envelopes back empty!

Or... are they?

I'm in trouble, aren't I?


"There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney

#2 of 8 Guest_Eric Kahn_*

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Posted January 16 2006 - 02:45 PM

Keep sending them back, and if you are really afraid of the codes, use a big black magic marker on them Posted Image

Since I work for the post office, I want them all sent back, I want another raise (in my pay, not the stamp rate)

#3 of 8 OFFLINE   Christ Reynolds

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Posted January 16 2006 - 03:53 PM

i do the same thing Posted Image

And then when I feel so stuffed I can't eat anymore, I just use the restroom! And then I CAN eat more!

#4 of 8 OFFLINE   Henry Gale

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Posted January 16 2006 - 05:05 PM

Amateurs! You're suppose to glue the envelope to a brick first.

"I was born to ramble, born to rove
Some men are searchin for the Holy Grail
But there ain't nothin sweeter 
Than riden' the rails."
-Tom Waits-

#5 of 8 OFFLINE   Micah Cohen

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Posted January 17 2006 - 12:56 AM


"There's nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight." - Lon Chaney

#6 of 8 OFFLINE   Jay H

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Posted January 17 2006 - 01:02 AM

Micah, just don't use the bricks that are holding up your roof, now! Of course, biking to the post office with a letters glued to bricks will illicit strange stares too. Jay
You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life

#7 of 8 OFFLINE   Lynda-Marie


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Posted January 17 2006 - 04:31 AM

Henry, you are an evil genius! Posted Image

The shape I'm in you could donate my body to science fiction! - Rodney Dangerfield, "Back to School"

#8 of 8 OFFLINE   ChristopherG



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Posted January 17 2006 - 06:01 AM

Someone in my family does this too and I thought that was one of the funniest things I ever heard of. He told me that his mailman told him the barcodes are the zipcode of the return address for the postage paid envelopes...? He also will take calls from telemarketers and then ask them to hold. He'll set the phone down, walk away and watch some tv or do something for a few minutes. After awhile, he'll pick the phone back up and if they are still there will say "please keep holding, I'll be right with you". His goal is to keep them on as long as possible while completely wasting their time.
It takes 52 pounds of pressure to rupture an eyeball... :blink:

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