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Liars, know any?


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31 replies to this topic

#1 of 32 OFFLINE   Jason Walstrom

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Posted March 23 2005 - 04:39 AM

Not just any liar but one that is a close friend or in your family that everyone puts up with cause they love that person and know that bringing it up will only cause turmoil and not change a thing? That person that has been everywhere you've been and done better that person also knows more and better than anybody, this person is never wrong and you always are.

This person has met celebrities and has dated beautiful women you've never seen and fought off attackers using Karate they have never learned, this person lies through their teeth to everyone and even themselves and they just keep getting away with it because they are so pathetic the no one wants them to realize what a sad person they are.

I've lived with a Liar in my family for a long time, I've put up with it for years, so it may be partially my fault for not calling this person out for their tall tales. Part of not bringing it out in the open is that they are harmless stories made to make you think this person is more interesting or stood up to this authority figure or challenged danger.

But recently i've noticed Lies that are worse than any tall tale or yarn spun to impress the cool crowd. One incident was the proposal of selling my old 94' Honda civic that i was not using anymore, it was languishing away in the garage, It probably needed a severe tune up and new tires but other than that the black paintjob was tip-top. The person in question approached me to let me know that his buddy was looking for a car. He asked me how much I was charging, I threw out the price, $2000 which he said was a joke and immediately lied that he'd recently looked the car up on bluebook.com(it was listed as $2500 in fair cond. if memory serves) and it was only worth about $500 to which i played dumb and suprised. then I told him that it was 'not for sale' and i didnt want to discuss it.

Cut to a couple of months later and the car came up again, this time he'd discussed that upon doing some research and calling all the local mechanics (convenient now i dont need to and he miraculously knows exactly what's wrong with a car he doesn't own)that the stuff that was wrong with the car (according to him the car had a loose Cam Bearing? Needed a new Transmission etc)it would be around $3000 to repair and that he'd get it out of my garage and out of my hair for the low low price of $500 again. This Honda Civic with a Vtech Engine had been diagnosed with $3000 worth of repairs when as far as I knew it was running fine and just wasn't being driven. I just stared into his eyes wonder how he thought I was this stupid a human being to not know that he was lying right to my face. The answer I don't know but I do know that I hear a lie from him at least once everytime I see him.

Keep in mind this is only an example of the plethora of lies i hear all the time from this person. The rest of tha family also puts up with it, I feel bad because this coulda been nipped in the bud along time ago and now that this person is in their 30's it's just too late and would make a breach in the family dynamic i.e. this person has children and a wife that we'd never see again etc. I just needed to vent if you want to hear anymore ridiculous lies let me know.

Here's one from 1998 Me and my wife had just bought a new tv and it had a s-video input when this person was told it had an S-video input he laughed and said "You got ripped off they are not using s-video on any products anymore." He pulled that one out of his ass.

p.s. I sold the car for $2100 a month ago.
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#2 of 32 OFFLINE   Ron-P

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Posted March 23 2005 - 06:02 AM

My wife had a female friend that
was a constant liar, so much so
her lies built upon lies and it
ended up getting seriously out
of control. It finally came to
the point where I stepped in and
severed the relationship, permanently.

I also had a friend that lied
because he want to be the guy who
knew everything even though 75%
of the time he was wrong. Haven't
spoken to him for several years.

Currently, I don't know any liars,
and it's going to stay that way.
You have all the weapons you need...Now fight!


#3 of 32 OFFLINE   VinhT

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Posted March 23 2005 - 06:05 AM

When I encounter those types, I try to challenge their claims. It helps to cite references so that it doesn't come down to one person's word against another's. Eventually they catch on that you're not easily manipulated.

With the car thing, a subtle way to have challenged him would have been to go along with his price and ask for a printout of that Blue Book report.

One thing though, are you absolutely sure that he's lying and making stuff up on the spot? If he really believes what he's saying, then he wouldn't be intentionally deceiving anyone. He'd just be misinformed.

I think you should call him out at least once just to see what happens. When you do it, do it in a good-natured way, with a smile on your face. That way, he can save face by saying it was just a joke or something like that.

Hope this helps a wee bit.
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#4 of 32 OFFLINE   Cameron Yee

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Posted March 23 2005 - 06:24 AM

Interesting topic. I can't say I know or have known anyone at this level of lying. So I'm curious how early this person's lying started and why you think no one ever called him on it. Is he an inlaw or blood relative?
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#5 of 32 OFFLINE   Jason Walstrom

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Posted March 23 2005 - 06:54 AM

it's an In-law and I saw the way the family had been putting up with it and just pretending it wasnt a problem. My problem is that so much frustration has built up over the years that I fear I am going to go ballistic and things will be changed forever. I just hate lying and I feel that I've really disrespected myself but not speaking out. It's something like 'Well that's the way it is, you just make the best of it." But that attidtude is ridiculous isn't it? There's alot more to this person, when one lies essentially they are incredibly insecure so the factor of feeling bad for someone who has to do that comes in to effect but it's gotten to the point that I don't care for this person's feelings, obviously this person doesn't care for mine. When someone lies to you they are essentially telling you "You are incredibly stupid and I have no respect for you". At least that's how i've come to feel.
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#6 of 32 OFFLINE   Joe Karlosi

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Posted March 23 2005 - 07:28 AM

I've known many. And what's incredible to me is WHY they lie. It's not always for any desperate reason to protect themselves or anything, but just for the sake of doing it! I guess to feel important or something.

#7 of 32 OFFLINE   Jack Briggs

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Posted March 23 2005 - 07:30 AM

Liars? My second wife ...

#8 of 32 OFFLINE   Leila Dougan

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Posted March 23 2005 - 07:36 AM

I knew someone that lied to that extent. I honestly think they believe what they say and don't even realize that they are lying. Compulsive lying an actual psychiatric disorder and I don't think you'd get any farther arguing with them than you would with a schizophrenic. If you can't get them to seek help, then I honestly think the best thing is to not challenge them, but also make it clear you won't tolerate their crap. Usually cutting them out of your life is the best thing to do, at least for your sanity's sake.

#9 of 32 OFFLINE   Mort Corey

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Posted March 23 2005 - 07:53 AM

Maybe you could get him a job in Washington...sounds like he's well qualified and it'd put him at a pretty good distance.Posted Image

Mort

#10 of 32 OFFLINE   Joe Szott

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Posted March 23 2005 - 09:46 AM

I don't mind the liars so much (as long as I don't need to be in much close contact.) Figure the devil you know is better than the one you don't. They are obviously liars and everyone knows it, so just don't believe a word they say and ignore them as much as possible.

Better a liar than a backstabber...

#11 of 32 OFFLINE   Jeff Pryor

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Posted March 23 2005 - 09:52 AM

Heh, my first wife was a liar. She thought she was good at it, but I knew all along and it's the reason I left. I haven't seen her in 12 years and hope I never do again.
Heads I win, tails you lose.

#12 of 32 OFFLINE   John Spencer

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Posted March 23 2005 - 10:11 AM

My friends all say they know a guy like that. I guess I just haven't met him yet...Hmm.....



So did I tell you about the time I sumo wrestled a Grizzly Bear named "Sweet Butter"?

Never heard of this. I'm a honky.

#13 of 32 OFFLINE   Scott McGillivray

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Posted March 23 2005 - 10:14 AM

Not to jump on the ex-wives too hard, but mine certainly was. She would just lie about the oddest things. At the time I was still fresh in love with her and tended to just trust her (sad that trust is so fragile). It was later when I realized that she was a habitual liar. Like others have said, there just seemed to be no good reason for the lies, it just became a habit.

I think that there are 2 types of liars. One that never answer truthfully and others that just makeup stupid BS stories etc. I knew a guy in high school that would always have to top anyone elses story. If I said that some amazing event happened to me on the weekend, he would say "Oh, that's nothing! This one time I... (insert crazy impossible story here)."

I had a guy working in my store that turned out to be a habitual liar. He would make up stuff constantly. How he had 2 girls pregnent (he didn't) how he got carjacked (nope) how he got in a fight with a bunch of guys etc. etc. All were proved to be lies. In fact, he would do wierd things like pretend to talk to people on his cell phone and when he would turn his head you could see that it was not even on!

It is really sad.

(Good topic by the way!)
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#14 of 32 OFFLINE   Chris Hovanic

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Posted March 23 2005 - 10:30 AM

I have someone in my family that is like this... Seen it, done it, or is scheduled to do it next week. This person will agrue that the sky is not blue on a cloudless, sunny day in August. I keep my wife and kid away from him as much as possible and when we are at the same family function I limit conversation to "hello" and "goodbye".

I to think its a psychiatric disorder or a very low self image that makes the person feel they need to lie to make themselfes out to be more than they are. Sad part is... its all to easy to see through and easily pushes family and loved ones away makeing the person feel just that much better about his/her self. Of course a person will only change if they want to change.
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#15 of 32 OFFLINE   Chu Gai

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Posted March 23 2005 - 10:34 AM

Quote:
Liars? My second wife ...
LOL! Good to know the first one was truthful Posted Image

#16 of 32 OFFLINE   Aaron Reynolds

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Posted March 24 2005 - 04:22 AM

I have a family member like this. He seems more deluded than anything else, and constantly feels that everyone and everything is against him. He's often angry that we don't trust him or believe him (recently there was a dustup when he wanted to live at our place for a while and we declined because of his track record of selling things that he felt no one was using and no one would miss -- and his judgment in that respect is also poor, because he sold my wife's skates, and my wife plays hockey nearly year-round. He probably figured she wouldn't notice until winter, but when her summer league started and her skates were gone...) but consistently does things to make us not trust or believe him.

There is a long history of mental illness on his side of the family. I feel quite sorry for him.

#17 of 32 OFFLINE   Grant B

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Posted March 24 2005 - 05:04 AM

I find some people have an aversion to these words:

I don't know.
Instead of uttering them they will always try and tell you an answer.
I caught my lead engineer in a trap a couple of times where he made up an answer.
Now I just don't believe anything he says
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#18 of 32 OFFLINE   Kevin M

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Posted March 24 2005 - 07:07 AM

Wait a minute.....this question is being posed on the internet....Posted Image
-Kevin M.

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#19 of 32 OFFLINE   andrew markworthy

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Posted March 24 2005 - 07:40 AM

My grandmother was a compulsive liar. The trouble is that her lies were, if a little far fetched, still believable. E.g. we didn't discover until after her death that she'd been telling all and sundry how my parents took all her pension off her and made her do housework for a tiny allowance. She also managed to poison several members of the family circle against my parents by saying they (my mum and dad) were scheming against them. etc, etc. At the same time, she fed us misinformation about other relatives. All utterly untrue, and what's really baffling is that we never worked out what motivation she had for doing it since any fallout from the disharmony caused affected her as much as anyone. Once we discovered the lies we had a lot of bridge building to do.

#20 of 32 OFFLINE   Jason Walstrom

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Posted March 24 2005 - 07:53 AM

I hope the Liars out there reading this know that they aren't getting away with anything, we know you are a liar and we don't trust you. LOL

Seriously though, If the person I'm speaking of even tells the truth chances are I won't believe him, It's just too late and I've heard too much BS. I doubt he cares anyway.
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