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Movie Haiku


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26 replies to this topic

#1 of 27 OFFLINE   Christopher P

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Posted June 18 2003 - 06:02 AM

This came up in the 30-words-or-less thread but apparently got lost, so I thought I would start again. Summarize/describe a movie (in a humorous fashion if you like)in a Haiku (5-7-5 syllables) Please try not to spoil without warning too.

Captain Williard hunts
For a rogue, U.S. Colonel
Man, Brando is fat
Apocalypse Now

Man, that film was long
But Cruise saying cunt was cool
What's up with the frogs?
Magnolia

Leo and a boat
Millions of teenage girls
Help topple Star Wars
Titanic


Chris

#2 of 27 OFFLINE   Alex Spindler

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Posted June 18 2003 - 06:31 AM

Leon

He saves Matilda
So Leon targets Stansfield
He needs EV-ERY-ONE!


Rushmore

Worst student we've got
Vies for teacher's affection
Through Heaven and Hell

#3 of 27 OFFLINE   Mike Broadman

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Posted June 18 2003 - 06:37 AM

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Gold buried in grave
Elli Wallach desperate
Clint Eastwood kicks ass


Mullholland Drive

Chick forgets her past
Mysterious blue box found
What the hell happened?

#4 of 27 OFFLINE   Jon_Are

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Posted June 18 2003 - 06:58 AM

I have lots of amps
This one goes to eleven
That's one more than ten

This is Spinal Tap


Jon

#5 of 27 OFFLINE   Cameron Yee

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Posted June 18 2003 - 06:59 AM

Thanks for doing this. I was thinking about breaking it out into its own thread as I saw the spoiler debate swamping the thread. Here are the few I created earlier

The Matrix
Looking for "The One?"
He is Mr. Anderson
Neo to his friends

The Hunt for Red October
Does the sub captain
Want a war or to defect?
Ryan seems to know

LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring
Gandalf and Balrog
Fell far and long; Balrog died
Gandalf just turned white

The One Ring must be
Thrown into Mt. doom by whom?
A Hobbit, of course!
One thing leads to another at cameronyee.com

#6 of 27 OFFLINE   Jason Harbaugh

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Posted June 18 2003 - 07:08 AM

Jurassic Park
DNA is found.
Dinosaurs are created.
Tis Box Office gold.

Independence Day
Aliens are here
killing, what can we fight with?
I know what, a mac!

#7 of 27 OFFLINE   Chuck Mayer

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Posted June 18 2003 - 07:47 AM

Bat-nipples, neon
and ahnuld "Kill da heroez!"
Curse you Schumacher!

Take a guess,
Chuck
Hey buddy...did you just see a real bright light?

#8 of 27 OFFLINE   Chris Atkins

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Posted June 18 2003 - 07:53 AM

Quote:
Bat-nipples, neon


CLASSIC!!! Posted Image Posted Image

#9 of 27 OFFLINE   Cameron Yee

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Posted June 18 2003 - 09:01 AM

Lolita
Pedophilia:
Where H. Humbert sees nymphettes
Most see little girls

Leon
Italian hitman
Played by Frenchman Jean Reno
Both professionals

Beautiful Girls
Natalie Portman
Steals the show from ensemble
Of twentysomethings
One thing leads to another at cameronyee.com

#10 of 27 OFFLINE   Jeffrey Gray

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Posted June 18 2003 - 09:23 AM

UHF:

Weird Al and Kramer,
a last-place TV station,
and flying poodles

#11 of 27 OFFLINE   Christopher P

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Posted June 18 2003 - 09:47 AM

Buffy tempts her brother
"You can put it anywhere"
Whoa! Did I hear that?
Cruel Intentions

ILM is great
But CGI can't compete
With Nat's bare stomach
Attack of the Clones

Chris

#12 of 27 OFFLINE   Cees Alons

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Posted June 18 2003 - 10:00 AM

Great thread.

Kiss the hand and ring
Push a button, lose a foe
Family is lost


Cees

#13 of 27 OFFLINE   Jason Harbaugh

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Posted June 18 2003 - 10:40 AM

Quote:
ILM is great
But CGI can't compete
With Nat's bare stomach
That is publishable! Posted Image

Carry and Daniels:
Them to make a sequel would
not be dumberer.
Dumb & Dumber

#14 of 27 OFFLINE   Jon_Are

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Posted June 18 2003 - 01:17 PM

Is that a horse head?
Or are you glad to see me,
Don Corleone

Jon

#15 of 27 OFFLINE   Simon_Lepine

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Posted June 19 2003 - 03:21 AM

Halloween

Madman on the loose
Doc Loomis tries to stop him
Slasher craze started

The English Patient

Tale in the desert
Of adultery and lust
... sorry, fell asleep

#16 of 27 OFFLINE   Dave Poehlman

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Posted June 19 2003 - 07:26 AM

I find these pique my interest more than most film descriptions! Keep 'em coming!

Deathstar approches
Luke is unlikely hero
Lucas loses touch

Peter is a nerd
Spider slobber changes him
Dumps Dunst anyway

#17 of 27 OFFLINE   Cees Alons

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Posted June 19 2003 - 08:02 AM

If women escape
But men must stay to drown there
Only half is real


Cees

#18 of 27 OFFLINE   Dave Poehlman

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Posted June 19 2003 - 08:23 AM

Justin and Kelly
Fox wrings them for cash again
with sad beach romp flop

#19 of 27 OFFLINE   Alex Spindler

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Posted June 19 2003 - 10:19 AM

Justin and Kelly
Are going on a date with
An angry green fist

#20 of 27 OFFLINE   Alex Spindler

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Posted June 19 2003 - 10:23 AM

As I order food
The waiter's tag says Durden
Does this soup taste weird?





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