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She Dropped The Bomb


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#1 of 51 Mark C Sherman

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Posted February 12 2003 - 08:19 AM

Hello all well I never thought This would happen but My Girlfriend Just Broke up with me again.


Check this out we were dating for seven months and we got into a Huge Fight 3 weeks ago about something stupid. She told me she never wanted to see me again. I was trying to work it out and she agreed to see me again last saturday for a movie.


Well it was great to see her we had a great time. but She got a little upset when I I told her that I had a new roommate (who is female)


Ok This Girl was really Good friend of my brothers who got kicked out of her apartment. being the Nice guy and having a spare room I let her move in until she could find her own place.

My EX Flipped over the fact that I didn't care about how she would feel about this even though this all happened when we broke up and before we went out on that date on saturday


No she never want to see me again because i hurt her so bad.

man I am soooooooooooooo Bummed out right now
MARK C SHERMAN
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#2 of 51 Dick

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Posted February 12 2003 - 08:28 AM

People are pretty fragile right after a breakup. Something like finding out you have a new female roommate could not help but put your relationship on the skids. The key to most reconciliations is communication. Talk. No, really talk. First of all, commiserate with her. "Yes, if I were you, I'd be pretty upset/suspicious, too. How do we work this out, because you are the most important person in my life and I am not inclined to let you go this easily," or words to that effect. She (and you) are seriously vulnerable right now, so take special care not to let the egg crack any further. Negotiate and compromise. Swallow your pride - you're probably as much at fault as she (if not more). Think: just how much does this girl mean to me? Then prove it.

#3 of 51 Mark C Sherman

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Posted February 12 2003 - 09:00 AM

I told her several times that she is my brothers Friend and that there is NOTHING between us. I told her that all I cared about was her(girlfriend)
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#4 of 51 Dick

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Posted February 12 2003 - 09:18 AM

Can't blame her for being suspicious, though, can you? If the situation was reversed, would you feel secure receiving that answer? Empathize.

#5 of 51 Holadem

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Posted February 12 2003 - 09:41 AM

Quote:
...even though this all happened when we broke up and before we went out on that date on saturday

[Ross]We were on a break...[/Ross]

Sorry man, wish I could help. Perhaps I could relieve you of that roommate Posted Image

Seriously, take it easy. The "never want to see you again because it hutsrs so bad" sounds like something said out of anger. Give it a couple of days, it willprobably get better.

--
Holadem

#6 of 51 Hunter P

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Posted February 12 2003 - 10:18 AM

Mark,
I think I know what you're going through. Having a "huge fight" over "something stupid." Being "hurt" because you didn't consult with her on getting a new female roommate. Been there, done that.

Have you ever lied, cheated or hit her? Have you done anything to her that would make you seem untrustworthy? If not then what would make her be "hurt" by you helping out your brother's friend who is in need?

She must have a history of being untrustworthy herself or she had her trust broken by other people in her past. Does she have a history of bad relationships? Did her father die or abandon her when she was a child?

Just on the little bit that you wrote, I can almost guarantee that these fights are just a result of a bigger issue. Until she figures that out, then expect to have a lot more arguments like this. Sorry, dude, there is nothing you can do about this one. This is a journey she has to do on her own.

If you are able to smooth over this little drama then be assured that she will find another one for you to deal with. I'm sorry to say it but I only see two options for you:

1) Get out of it while you still can. She needs to resolve her past before she can enjoy her present. If you stay with her, you will only act as a distraction and an outlet for her frustration. Trying to "wade through the storm" will only delay the inevitable.

2) Stand up to her. Hate to say it but being a jerk works. I'm not saying be mean or disrespectful to her. But if having a roommate is nothing then tell her and make no apologies. Don't bend, don't try to make it up to her, and don't act guilty. Be firm. Be a MAN. Believe me, she will respect you more. Initially, she might get upset that you are actually standing up to her for the first time. Once she realizes that you refuse to be manipulated anymore, she will come around.

IMHO Posted Image
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#7 of 51 Marshall W. Carter

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Posted February 12 2003 - 05:05 PM

Two questions... 1) Is the roommate hot? & 2) Why did she get kicked out of her apartment?

#8 of 51 Dean DeMass

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Posted February 12 2003 - 10:49 PM

If the answer to question #1 is yes.....I will totally understand why she is pissed.

-Dean-

#9 of 51 Mark C Sherman

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Posted February 13 2003 - 01:36 AM

Quote:
Two questions... 1) Is the roommate hot? & 2) Why did she get kicked out of her apartment




#1Yes I would call her a little hottie.


#2 Her roommate was just being a dick

Quote:
Did her father die or abandon her when she was a child?



her father left her mom when she was very young and her mother raised her. Also she was Married and also got a
Divorce.



Quote:
[Ross]We were on a break...[/Ross]



I was Thinking the exact same thing.


I talked to her last night and It is Over No matter what i said she would not listen to me.
MARK C SHERMAN
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#10 of 51 Seth_L

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Posted February 13 2003 - 01:53 AM

Cut your losses and move on.

Look at it this way. You have a "little hottie" living in your place, so it shouldn't be too hard to make something happen.

If the "little hottie" is going to put the nail in the coffin of your last relationship you might as well make the nail more of a garlic covered silver spike to the heart if you get my drift.

Seth

#11 of 51 Dean Cooper

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Posted February 13 2003 - 02:42 AM

I pretty much agree with Seth on this one. Accept that its over and move on man.

#12 of 51 Dave Poehlman

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Posted February 13 2003 - 03:10 AM

Um, what's your ex's phone number?.. I'm looking for a new roommate.

#13 of 51 Leila Dougan

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Posted February 13 2003 - 03:11 AM

I agree too, unfortunately.

You don't need this drama. Genuine care and real love do not promote such misunderstandings. If it wasn't this incident, it will surely be another.

I lived with a guy when my husband and I started dating. In fact, that guy was an ex of mine. My husband didn't like it, but he dealt with it. He understood that I chose him and that the living arrangements were only temporary.

We're approaching our first anniversary and I can honestly tell you that the roomate situation was mild compared to other things we've had to deal with in the past year.

You're ex's reaction to your roomate (while you were on a break, no less!) are very telling. I have NEVER told my husband "I don't want to see you ever again". I have told him, after a fight "I don't want to be around you right now". VERY big difference. It doesn't sound like she was fighting fairly.

In any case, let her go. She wasn't meant to be.

#14 of 51 Holadem

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Posted February 13 2003 - 03:20 AM

Quote:
#1Yes I would call her a little hottie.


#2 Her roommate was just being a dick

Posted Image

--
Holadem

#15 of 51 Marshall W. Carter

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Posted February 13 2003 - 03:20 AM

Sounds like time to move on. Well, for future reference, note the following facts:

1) Breakups, at least initially, rarely last. If you're in a relationship and it means anything at all to both people, chances are that they're going to give it another go. That leads into my second point...

2) Never do anything "stupid" until you know it's really OVER with the other person ("stupid" being anything that's going to piss off your would-be significant other). For future reference, moving in with a "little hottie" that's not your girlfriend when you have a girlfriend is going to be frowned upon by 99.9% of girlfriend material (if it wasn't, I'd probably be living with the "little hottie" friend of mine that was looking for a roommate and asked me before anyone else...

Besides, the chances are that if your now ex-gf has so little understanding or patience for you after seven months of dating, that after a single argument she doesn't want to have anything to do with you, she really doesn't sound like the type you'd want to waste any more time with.

#16 of 51 Seth_L

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Posted February 13 2003 - 03:58 AM

Just to re-itterate my earlier point. If you're going to break up with your GF over the "little hottie" make sure you've done stuff with the "little hottie" worth breaking up over. I mean it can't really be that long of a walk to her room from yours at night. Posted Image

Seth

#17 of 51 Patrick Sun

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Posted February 13 2003 - 04:31 AM

Am I the only one that has that song by The Gap Band running through my head, given the title of this thread?
"Jee-sus, it's like Iwo Jima out there" - Roger Sterling on "Mad Men"
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#18 of 51 Hunter P

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Posted February 13 2003 - 05:21 AM

"You turned me out, you turned me on,
And then you dropped me to the ground.
You dropped a bomb on me."

Amen, brother Seth. Posted Image One of the many little dramas that my ex accused me of was wanting to sleep with this woman we both (barely) knew. After we broke up I figured, "what the hell, if I did the time, I might as well do the crime." It did help up the nail in the coffin BTW. Posted Image

Looks like you had yourself a bonafide Drama Queen, Mark.

My guess is that she simply wanted to end the relationship and this roommate thing was a convenient excuse. It's always easier to be on the giving end of a break up rather than on the receiving end. She wants you to have 100% of the blame for the end of it. Maybe putting the focus on you and your faults will keep the focus off of her.

I'm probably just throwing out psycho-babble here.
GIR, UNLEASH THE MONKEY!
MONKEY!
"I am the Doctor of Death, and I have come to cure you of your life." --Endless Mike, The Adventures of Pete and Pete

#19 of 51 Seth_L

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Posted February 13 2003 - 05:35 AM

Not anymore Pat.

Thanks for nothing Posted Image

Seth

#20 of 51 Mark Zimmer

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Posted February 13 2003 - 06:02 AM

Yeah. Consider yourself lucky to have gotten out of a relationship with a Histrionics Fiend who would in the long run cause you nothing but grief and move on. Posted Image Keep us posted about the hottie, though. Posted Image


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