Your favorite TV quotes of all time (1 Viewer)

[Neil Brock]

Lots of memorable quotes being provided. The quote I'm going to provide is from a lesser known Western, but it also fits the bill, and it's the first thing that comes to mind whenever I think of the show "Guns of Will Sonnett". Walter Brennan saying "No brag... just fact."

Exactly the one I was going to put down. Classic line.

 

[Vic Pardo]

At the end of a "Man from U.N.C.L.E." episode with Angela Lansbury, the topic of dialogue concerns riding on a camel. Napoleon Solo asks:
"One hump or two?"

And the episode ends on a freeze frame.

My sister turned and looked at us with that "He didn't just say that, did he?" look.

Funnily enough, at the time, I had never heard the phrase it was parodying, "One lump or two?" so I didn't even get the joke. When I eventually heard "One lump or two?" in some English drawing room comedy or something, I then remembered the U.N.C.L.E. line and got the joke. And it wasn't till years after that that I understood the double entendre Solo was going for. (I think my sister understood that, but that's another story.)

 

[jperez]

"There are 8 millon stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them".

 

[David Weicker]

Taxi"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Hey, Alex - You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day... you can always change the channel.

 

[Ejanss]

"There are 8 millon stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them".

"There are 8 million stories in the Naked City....Right now, we could be two of them."
- Dave Addison to Maddie Hayes, Moonlighting

 

[Steve Tannehill]

As God is my witness, I thought turkey's could fly. WKRP

 

[bretmaverick2]

From Brady Bunch: "OW, my nose!" Guess who??

From Maverick: Bret Maverick: I'm workin on it.

From The Incredible Hulk: Bruce Banner: You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

 

[Roy Wall]

Heaven help us what men do in the name of good....Paladin

 

[oldtvshowbuff]

From the "route 66" episode "One Tiger To a Hill"."I don't know what's buggin' him, but I know what's buggin' me, it's him!"

 

[oldtvshowbuff]

Another quote from another "route 66" episode "Sheba".

"Some people have Smallpox, I have Woody."

 

[mrz7]

"One of these days Alice......Bang.....Zoom!!!!" - Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) - "The Honeymooners"

"Hello Friends, I'm Your Vitameatavegamin Girl" - Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) - "I Love Lucy"

"Eunice, I think your playing hockey with a warped puck" - Mama/Thema Harper (Vicky Lawrence) - "The Carol Burnett Show" (Family Skit)

(Doorbell rings) "Did you want me to get that?" - Benson (Robert Guillaume) - "Soap"

(on seeing his father without wearing a shirt) - It was like I was seeing my own version of "The Crying Game" - George Castanza (Jason Alexander) - "Seinfeld"

(While taking a driving test, asking for some help) - "Whaaattt Doeeesssss Aaaaaa Yelloooooowww Liggght Mean?" - Jim Ignatowski - "Taxi"

"Kiss My Grits" - Flo Castleberry (Polly Holiday) - "Alice"

"Good Lord I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t someone just directly pee on me?" - Karen Walker (Megan Mullally) - "Will and Grace"

(Kids yelling and screaming) - "See, this is why some animals eat their young" - Roseanne (Roseanne Barr) - "Roseanne"

"Bite Me, Pig" - Mimi (Kathy Kinney) - "The Drew Carey Show"

"And if it ever gets too hot, Milk and Pepsi hits the spot" - Laverne DiFazio (Penny Marshall) - "Laverne and Shirley"

 

[Bob Gu]

"I don't philosophize. I hunt." Lt. Girard- The Fugitive"Open Channel 'D'." The Man From U.N.C.L.E."Some day, I gotta kill that boy! I just gotta!" Herbert T Gillis- Dobie Gillis"Oh, Mrs. Hall, I didn't recognize you, I thought you were Grace Kelly.", Sgt.Bilkobuttering up the Colonel's wife."That's the second biggest manhole cover I've ever see." Maxwell Smart-Get Smart"I could just scream!" Capt. Binghamton-- McHale's Navy"I don't hire or fire, I just work here." Sgt. Saunders to an uncooperative replacement. Combat!"Once you stand you ground. Just once! You'll be surprised how easy it is the next time." Sgt. Saunders to a nervous soldier."Nobody asked you, Kirby!" Sgt. Saunders to Kirby."How do you like me, so far?" Eddie on Keen Eddie."I'll just hold on to these (guns), until you guys get a little more practice." John Reese, on Person Of Interest, after shooting a room full of punks in their kneecaps and stealing their weapons.

 

[Ron1973]

From the Benson episode I mentioned earlier:Head of security: Benson, have you ever worked with green recruits?Benson: No, I've never been off this planet!

 

[Joe Lugoff]

Mine's also from I LOVE LUCY, which to paraphrase the introduction to "The Song of Bernadette": For those who know, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't know, no explanation is possible.

Anyway -- whenever someone tells me a rumor or gossip or something not too serious, I say, "Wait till Mickey Richardson hears about this!"

And you could have knocked me over with a feather once when I asked an ILL fan what his favorite line from the series was, and he said the same exact line!

 

[Ron1973]

And lest we forget the quotable Sgt. Schultz: I know NOTHING, NOTHING! Please Col. Hogan, I know nothing!

 

[Ron1973]

Poor Ted Baxter ALWAYS flubbed his cue cards. There had been a huge earthquake somewhere killing a bunch of people. On his cue card it said "take off glasses and look concerned." Reading his lines, he tells about the earthquake and then reads right on through with "take off glasses and look concerned....."

 

[Jack P]

The Odd Couple's best line.

Felix-"Do you realize what you've done? For the first time, you've got an audience ROOTING for Howard Cosell!"

 

[David Weicker]

maybe not my 'favorite', but certainly the most memorable of them all.

M*A*S*H

Radar O'Reilly: Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the sea of Japan... It spun in. There were no survivors.

 

[DaveHof2]

"If you're not growin', sit down." - Sgt. Friday, Dragnet

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred" - Superchicken

"Just remember, RIddler, you can't buy friends with money." - Batman

 

[Jack P]

And now a medley of great game show quotes mainstays:

Gene Rayburn-"Dumb Donald was SOOOOOO dumb......"

Johnny Olson-"COME ON DOWN!"

John Daly-"Will you enter and sign in, please?"

Bud Collyer/Garry Moore-"Will the real (so-and-so)........please stand up?"

Richard Dawson-"Survey SAID!"

Peter Marshall-"Object of the players is to get three stars in a row, either across up and down or diagonally, it is up to them to tell whether a star is correct or giving a bluff...."

Geoff Edwards-"RIGHT, you are!"