Your favorite SEINFELD line (1 Viewer)

[RichM]

"They're real and they are Spectacular!

 

[Steve_Tk]

I totally forgot about the Kramer Movie phone episode. That whole skit is hilarious.

When he ask for the first three digits, then just guesses what they put, great stuff.

Comes on twice a night where I live.

 

[Rob Speicher]

Frank: Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back.

- The Caddy

 

[Anthony Hom]

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

 

[Jim J]

"Yes Elaine, I can approve these expenses. But I'll need to see this hat!"

-J. Peterman in Burma (you may know it as Myanmar)

 

[Rex Bachmann]

Dominik Dröscher wrote (post #28):

Better still, from the same episode:

Elaine: "Honestly, I don't know how you guys can walk around with those things."

 

[Jeremy Stockwell]

From The Dealership (probably my favorite episode).

It's full of great lines.

But only one . . . so . . .

[Setting: Dealership back room]

(Jerry walks up to the vending machine. George is on his stomach, reaching under the vending machine for change)

JERRY: (Tapping the door you lift to retrieve your candy on the machine) I think the candy comes out over there.

GEORGE: People can drop change down here, Jerry. And they’re too lazy to pick it up.

JERRY: Either that, or they’ve got a little hang-up about lying face-down in filth.

Great Thread!

I'll be back

JKS

 

[Rex Bachmann]

One of the great and sometimes quite subtle aspects of Seinfeld scripting is the use of repetition and parallelism (often unexpected).

Some of the best lines that are spouted are, indeed, contextual, but the context changes from character to character. It's often the surprise of the repetition of these lines that makes for their hilarity.

Some examples of this kind of line are

a) Anthony Hom wrote (post #64):

Kramer's blown line in a Woody Allen production that is repeated in other situations. ("The Alternate Side")


b) "You are sooooo good-looking." (Jerry Seinfeld's suggested way to diffuse all "relationship"-tensions in "The Good Samaritan". It ends up not doing him any good.)

c) "Serenity now!" ("The 'Serenity Now'")

Spouted by several characters but the best is Lloyd Braun's retort at the end: "'Serenity now', insanity later."

d) The aforementioned "Not that there's anything wrong with that." (voiced by many) ("The Outing")

e) "He dipped his bald head in oil and rubbed it aaaallll over my body" (Goiter Lady giving Elaine the skinny on her affair with the Mahatma) parallels George's telling the young Senegalese servant woman who speaks no English: "I'd like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it aaaalll over your body." ("The Old Man")

There are surely others---at least one a repetition of one J. Peterman's catalog narratives---that I can't think of right now.

 

[Brian Burgoyne]

Short, but the delivery was priceless.

Kramer: "giddyup"

 

[JasonMC]

A line my wife and I use all the time
From Putty (sp?):
Squinted eyes: "Yeah that's right"

 

[Marshall Alsup]

Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you would like to see......

HAHAHAHHHAHAA, I spit out a mouth full of Pepsi when I read that. I could just hear Kramer saying it.

My quote: "I was really perkolating" --The Pilot (not the Seinfelt Pilot, but the episode called The Pilot #63 and 64)

 

[Steve Elias]

Are you the master of your domain?

From "The Contest"

 

[Steve Elias]

"It's time for the airing of the greivances."

Happy Festivus,
Steve

 

[PeteyG]

From The Switch:

George: "Do you realize that in the history of western civilization no one has successfully accomplished the roommate switch. In the Middle Ages you could get locked up for even suggesting it."

Jerry: "They didn't have roommates in the middle ages"

George: "How do you know?"

Jerry: "Well, for one thing, they didn't have apartments"

George: "Well, I'm sure at some point between the years 800 and 1200 somewhere there were 2 women living together"

2 other lines from later in that episode:

George: "Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"

Jerry: I'm not an orgy guy


It is so hard to pick just one episode!! I can honestly pick out a great line from every episode!!

Pete

 

[Jeremy Stockwell]

We use that one too! -- Yeah, that's right.

JKS

 

[MickeS]

One that's just plain funny is George's line "You can stick your sorries in a sack, mister!". I don't even remeber what episode or context it was said in, it's just a really funny line.

If i'd have to pick a favorite (other than those already mentioned here), I'd have to say that the dicussion between George and Jerry after George is trying to convince him that eating a piece of leftover dessert that's laying on top of the trash in a trash can is OK, had a great line by Jerry:

"You have crossed the line between man and bum. You are now a bum."

It's the matter-of-fact tone and the determination with which it's said that make it more funny than it might seem in print.

/Mike

 

[Jeremiah]

Mike, the good thing is that we all can pretty much know the whole scene once a line is said so even if it's not that funny in print we all still laugh.

BTW, the first line quoted was from the reverse episode and it all got started b/c Susan said it at the end/beginning.

 

[Christopher P]

PeteyG, you forgot the best line from "The Switch." George [incredulously] upon Jerry's chance at the menage, "This is like discovering plutonium by ACCIDENT!!"

Chris

 

[Scott D S]

When Jerry visits the old man (Sid Fields).

Jerry's looking at his collection of records:

Jerry: "What's all this?"
Sid: "Trash. Garbage."
Jerry: "You mean you're getting rid of this stuff?"
Sid: "That's what you usually do with garbage, ya' idiot!"
Jerry: "You don't want any of these?"
Sid: "Well, if I did, I wouldn't be getting rid of them, would I, Einstein?"

and later

Jerry: "Would you like to go out for a cup of coffee?"
Sid: "With you? I'd rather be dead!" (It was in the delivery.)

 

[Jeff Bamberger]

They're Man Hands!!!!!