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Witty or amusing song lyrics, need recommendations

Discussion in 'Music' started by Jon_Are, Dec 23, 2003.

  1. Jon_Are

    Jon_Are Well-Known Member

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    I publish a monthly newsletter and I'm considering adding a feature that would relate an interesting/witty/amusing/clever song lyric each month.

    I have a few ideas, but need many more.

    I'm looking for lyrics to a complete song - not just a line or phrase - that would be entertaining to read. Any type of music is OK; doesn't have to be well-known.

    If you could provide a link - or even the complete lyrics - that would be great.

    Thanks!

    Jon
     
  2. Kirk Gunn

    Kirk Gunn Well-Known Member

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    "Nibblin' on sponge cake..."

    Naw... nevermind.
     
  3. Kirk Gunn

    Kirk Gunn Well-Known Member

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    Ok - seriously now. Buffett does have some pretty cool lyrics. Most of his success is the story lines portrayed in his songs as they tend to take people to some tropical locale far away from the rat race.

    He also writes great songs about people that have influenced his life, especially the old folks he runs across (which are treated as disposable in our current culture). The following song is of a poet he was trying to contact, until he found out he had passed away. Nice song to sing/play because it doesn't have a chorus, just tells a story:


    Death Of An Unpopular Poet

    By: Jimmy Buffett
    1973

    I once knew a poet
    Who lived before his time
    He and his dog Spooner
    Would listen while he'd rhyme
    Words to make ya happy
    Words to make you cry
    Then one day the poet suddenly did die

    But he left behind a closet
    Filled with verse and rhyme
    And through some strange transaction
    One was printed in the Times
    And everybody's searchin'
    For the king of undergound
    Well they found him down in Florida
    With a tombstone for a crown

    Everybody knows a line
    From his book that cost four ninety-nine
    I wonder if he knows he's doin'
    Quite this fine

    'Cause his books are all best sellers
    And his poems were turned to song
    Had his brother on a talk show
    Though they never got along
    And now he's called immortal
    Yes he's even taught in school
    They say he used his talents
    A most proficient tool

    But he left all of his royalties
    To Spooner his ol' hound
    Growin' old on steak and bacon
    In a doghouse ten feet 'round
    And everybody wonders
    Did he really lose his mind
    No he was just a poet who lived before his time
    He was just a poet who lived before his time
     
  4. Mike Broadman

    Mike Broadman Well-Known Member

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    Here's a nice one if you like word games:

    The World's My Oyster Soup Kitchen Floor Wax Museum

    Hat bandana Graham cracker jackhammer in
    a nail file suit your self-serviceman
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
    autographed pictures of Shakespeare fishing
    gear head phone Madison Square garden hose
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum

    and the chorus:
    Get set get wet get fat get fit get a life
    get it on get it up get it off of me
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
    get sacked get the facts get a load of this
    get pissed get real get over it get it over with
    the world's my oyster soup bowling ball of wax museum

    Cannibal dog house plan B happy
    as a lark's tongue in cheekbone china doll
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
    don't ask Y2 cake and eat it too
    nothing lasts for evergreen thumbscrew
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen door frame by frame

    Get back slapback backtalk halfback back track talkback
    back to back I'll be back to get you back
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
    get bumped get pumped get dumped get the funk
    get sick get fixed get jiggy with it
    the world's my oyster souffle mignon

    Get set get wet get fat get fit
    get along little doggiem get it off of me
    oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum
    get sacked get the facts get a load of this
    the world's my oyster soup kitchen floor wax museum


    And, of course, you can't go wrong with Frank Zappa
     
  5. Jon_Are

    Jon_Are Well-Known Member

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    I guess I should have pointed out that I need the writer and performer of the songs as well.

    Mike, who wrote the Oyster Soup song? (I like it). Which CD is is available on?

    edit: oh yeah, they gotta be G rated as well.

    Jon
     
  6. Mike Broadman

    Mike Broadman Well-Known Member

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    King Crimson
    The song is available on the album The ConstrucKtion of Light as well as on the live Heavy ConstrucKtion.
     
  7. chung_sotheby

    chung_sotheby Well-Known Member

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    You can get really witty and nice song lyrics from:

    Nick Drake
    Rufus Wainwright
    The Roots
    Radiohead
    Sondre Lerch
    Beck

    Some of my favorites are:
    Nick Drake - Things behind the sun

    Please beware of them that stare
    They'll only smile to see you while
    Your time away
    And once you've seen what they have been
    To win the earth just won't seem worth
    Your night or your day
    Who'll hear what I say.
    Look around you find the ground
    Is not so far from where you are
    But not too wise
    For down below they never grow
    They're always tired and charms are hired
    From out of their eyes
    Never surprise.

    Take your time and you'll be fine
    And say a prayer for people there
    Who live on the floor
    And if you see what's meant to be
    Don't name the day or try to say
    It happened before.

    Don't be shy you learn to fly
    And see the sun when day is done
    If only you see
    Just what you are beneath a star
    That came to stay one rainy day
    In autumn for free
    Yes, be what you'll be.
    Please beware of them that stare
    They'll only smile to see you while
    Your time away
    And once you've seen what they have been
    To win the earth just won't seem worth
    Your night or your day
    Who'll hear what I say.

    Open up the broken cup
    Let goodly sin and sunshine in
    Yes that's today.
    And open wide the hymns you hide
    You find reknown while people frown
    At things that you say
    But say what you'll say
    About the farmers and the fun
    And the things behind the sun
    And the people round your head
    Who say everything's been said
    And the movement in your brain
    Sends you out into the rain.

    Rufus Wainwright - Instant Pleasure

    I don't want somebody to love me
    Just give me sex whenever I want it
    'Cause all I ask for is instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

    You in the traffic for all eternity
    How could that speed be where you want to be?
    Said don't you really want instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

    Think that all these folks get laid?
    Do it cause their pain is great?
    What you thinkin' anyways?

    If drinkin' coffee's your idea of really cool
    You can't expect no crazy chick to notice you
    Just sittin there dreamin' instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

    If you want someone a friend to be
    Guess you'll have to win the lottery
    But till then repeat after me

    I don't want somebody to love me
    Just give me sex whenever I want it
    'Cause all I ask for is instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure
    Instant pleasure, instant pleasure

    I don't want somebody to love me
    I don't want somebody to love me...

    The Roots - Pussy Galore

    Dancin on the dance floor
    Girl it's you that I adore
    Step on stage and scream for more
    All I see Pussy Galore
    Snap my fingers make you mine
    If not I'll snap a 2nd time.
    After that I guarantee you will be standing next to me

    An old head once said, "that's more power for the cocaine. Freaks dancing on
    line like Soul Train"
    To give your product that extra push
    Niggas lookin for the time of their life, coppin a rush
    Yo I know sis, Dog, her name Lorraine
    She that thick brick house with the chocolate frame
    I went to school with her, 12th grade I used to fool with her
    She put me on with her squad, I got cool with her

    She useta say she wanna be a doctor and couldn't nothing stop her From giving
    up that cash for tuition even if
    She had to "shake that ass"
    Fucked up her money ain't accumulate that fast
    Lorraine know it's real, and sex control America
    Turn the T.V. it's in the open on the regular, yo
    What the freaks in the video for?
    Fuck a song, give me a thong and Pussy Galore

    Chorus
    You see, life's about marketing and Pussy Galore
    Every time I turn around it's more Pussy Galore
    Nations goin to war for the Pussy Galore
    Either the cash, the raw or the Pussy Galore
    Yo, gang wars more Pussy galore
    From the streets to the record store
    Every time I turn around it's more Pussy Galore
    Either the cash, the raw or the Pussy Galore

    Yo desire and lust can make a man kill
    Or jump off a bridge cuffed to a muthafuckin anvil
    So it's promoted like that's all yawl know
    Keep a nigga under the spell you under control
    But Yo I seem to make people slit they wrists
    Weakness, pussy make a spots they secrets
    But what for, cause sex is the law, law
    And done been many an empire rise and fall
    From the Squares to the Players to the Pimps and Whores
    To big checks that never would have been endorsed
    You know, I just sit back and just peep things
    9 out of 10 it's the same song, only the beat changed
    So don't be looking at Tariq strange
    When I conduct a little litmus test up in your heat range
    That's when you see me on stage with 6
    Wicked ass chicks
    Finna get crunk with this

    Chorus

    Fresh cut, with the thick black velour
    With the black Louis sneaks
    Headin out for tour
    Looking out the limo window up at the billboards
    For 200 miles, She was the only thing I saw
    Promoting everything from the liquor, to the nicotine,
    cell phones, antihistamine, chicken wings.
    You gotta show a little skin to get them listening, for real
    Yawl know the world is a sex machine
    Full of, pretty freaks in designer jeans
    Who go to extremes to conjure all kinds of schemes
    Half the time it ain't even responsibly
    Trying to take me somewhere I ain't tryna be
    GHETTO sin city where the P is free
    You catch a bid far worser than a 1 to 3
    All up in the after hours on the 2nd floor
    For that good thang that keep em comin back for more

    Chorus
    Bridge x2
    Pussy Galore x2
     
  8. Tom Fynan

    Tom Fynan Well-Known Member

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    A book was published about two years ago called "Reading Lyrics" which collected great lyrics from the tin pan alley and Broadway songwriters. That would be a great source of witty material. The complete lyrics of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, Lorenz Hart, and Ira Gershwin have also been published in seperate volumes. You can't beat those guys for "interesting/witty/amusing/clever" lyrics.

    Tom Fynan
     
  9. JonZ

    JonZ Well-Known Member

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    I know WAAAAYYY too many to name.

    Check out NOFX and The Vandals.

    In the Holidays spirit heres some of the lyrics from the Vandals Christmas album.

    NOFX is below.

    You gotta hear the music to appreciate but.......


    "Thanx for Nothing"

    You shouldn't have, Oh - you didn't.
    You're so generous. Thanks for nothing.
    Never mind all the stuff I bought for you
    It was my pleasure, getting nothing back.

    Come next year I'm getting you what you got me
    Fucking Nothing. See how you like it

    I don't have much money but I got you something nice.
    I maxed out my cards, didn't care about the price...
    To show I care this time of year -
    Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
    Thanx for nothing.

    So I'm a sap, under the Christmas tree.
    Trying to find the gifts I thought you got for me.
    But there was nothing there - what a shock.
    Just the torn up wrappings from all the gifts I bought.

    Thanx for all the effort to brighten up my Christmas
    Thank you for the knife that you stabbed me in the back with.
    What a blessing. You're really something.
    Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
    Thanx for nothing.

    I've been so selfless, choosing gifts so thoughtfully
    Sweating in a crowed mall and you don't get shit for me.
    You selfish asshole. I hope you die.
    Choking on your putrid pile of presents 6 feet high

    Thanx for making Christmas such a disappointment
    Thanx for making sharing seem so fucking pointless
    What a pal. I'll tell you one thing -
    Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
    Thanx for nothing.
    Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
    Thanx for nothing.
    Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la


    "I dont believe in Sants Clause"

    I don't believe in Santa Clause -
    His corporate image forced upon
    The blinded spending masses,
    To enslave the lower classes

    With obligatory gifts that serve to cleanse
    A year of guilt and shame.
    One token gesture justifies
    The apathetic, hypnotized.

    Leaving them to be Kris Kringle's slaves.
    Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
    The seasons obligation has not my participation.
    Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
    The money hungry mating call of corporate swine.

    Cuz -
    It's only for the money!
    It's only for the money!
    It's only for the money!
    It's only for the money!
    Now Buy!

    He monitors naughty and nice -
    Big brother is St. Nick!
    Methodically his judgment made
    Documented on his list.

    I - Don't believe in Santa Clause
    Or his mystical facade
    To teach the children wanton greed,
    They're lust for gifts becomes a need.

    Brainwashed by the marketing
    And victims of the corporate scheme.
    Material possessions becoming they're obsessions
    Till human life has lost it's value
    And you blindly do just what they tell you
    I don't believe!!!!

    His tactics of intimidation repress the minds of youth
    Using fear for generations, His image hides the truth
    He's just a puppet for the system, a glutton in a suit
    With Yuletide propaganda and a bearded mask to boot!


    "I've Got A Ape Drap" (The first time I heard this song I laughed abotu it for days!!)

    Make it like that famous country singer
    Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
    Clean me up but let me keep my edge,
    In the day i like to keep it dignified
    But at night you know I got another side
    And I don't give a damn,
    Cause I am what I am
    Even if it's really really bad.

    I've got an Ape Drape,
    Yes I do
    They're givin' them to anyone,
    And that means you
    You can drive to Riverside and get one too
    Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

    Go ahead and buzz 'round the ears
    I've been growing that one braid back there for years
    I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche
    The front may conform to society
    But the back says I have personality
    Even if it's really really,
    Even if it's really really bad.

    I've got an Ape Drape,
    Yes I do
    They're givin' them to anyone,
    And that means you
    You can drive to Riverside and get one too
    Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

    Make it short in the front and long in the back!
    If the top's not short enough that it stands up
    I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
    But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail
    Now fix my kid up so he looks like me,
    And then matching crazy pants are all we need
    Some may call it child abuse
    I just call it bonding with your Dad.

    Norce Neck Warmer......Norco
    Hockey Hair.......Canada
    Achy Breaky Hair.....Nashville
    Mullet.......Hoboken
    Forbidden Hair......Europe
    Shom......Florida



    "Urban Struggle" (Has a intro from Good Bad & The Ugly)

    I want to be a Cowboy
    I got to be a Cowboy
    I'm born to be a Cowboy
    I want to be a Cowboy
    A Cowboy! Uh-huh

    Tonight we're taking me fast car
    Were gonna go down to the Cowboy bar
    I'm gonna wait till the club is full
    and I'm gonna ride the mechanical bull

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true Cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    All the Cowgirls in their Stetson hats
    and their tight fitting jeans so they don't look fat
    We'll all be listening to the Cowboy tunes
    and stomp around like a bunch of goons

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    We're all OD'd on the Olden West
    seein' who's Cowboy clothes look the best
    I can ride that phony bull so damn good
    Sometimes I think I'm Clint Eastwood

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    I know I'm a Cowboy deep inside
    My hat band's made out of synthetic rattle snake hide
    After a couple shit kickin' Cowboy movies
    I'll check out the Cowboy scene down at Zubie's

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    Find out who all fights the best
    We start fights with them punks at the Cuckoo's Nest
    Those damn punks are crazy (though)
    and meaner than a bull at a rodeo

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    You call me an Urban clone of course
    A big deal if I'm afraid to ride a horse
    With a broken nose and a fucked up knee
    Maybe this Cowboy scene just ain't for me

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    Yee Haw

    Cowboy look is the one I sought
    Can't change now cause the clothes are bought
    To be a true cowboy was my fate
    I can't help it if I was born late

    ( I couldn't make it as a Punker )






    NOFX




    "The Idiots Are taking OVer"

    it's not the right time to be sober
    now the idiots have taken over
    spreading like a social cancer, is there an answer?

    Mensa membership exceeding
    tell me why and how are all the stupid people breeding
    Watson, it's really elementary
    the industrial revolution
    has flipped the bitch on evolution
    the benevolent and wise are being thwarted, ostracized, what a bummer
    the world keeps getting dumber
    insensitivity is standard and faith is being fancied over reason

    darwin's rollin over in his coffin
    the fittest are surviving much less often
    now everything seems to be reversing, and it's worsening
    someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool
    now angry mob mentality's no longer the exception, it's the rule
    and im startin to feel a lot like charlton heston
    stranded on a primate planet
    apes and orangutans that ran it to the ground
    with generals and the armies that obeyed them
    followers following fables
    philosophies that enable them to rule without regard

    there's no point for democracy when ignorance is celebrated
    political scientists get the same one vote as some Arkansas inbred
    majority rule, don't work in mental institutions
    sometimes the smallest softest voice carries the grand biggest solutions

    what are we left with?
    a nation of god-fearing pregnant nationalists
    who feel it's their duty to populate the homeland
    pass on traditions
    how to get ahead religions
    And prosperity via simpleton culture

    the idiots are takin over


    "What's The Matter With Parents Today?"

    Mom and dad
    How'd you get so rad?
    When exactly did you get so hip?

    Wearing teenage clothes
    You're always coming to my shows
    And telling me that I should mellow out

    It's absurd
    They're singing every word
    You're not supposed to like my band
    Things I like you don't understand

    So please put down that rum and Coke
    That's not behaviour for old folk
    Can we just hang on holidays
    Dad and mom
    What planet are you from?
    And what convinced you to pack up and leave
    Doing drugs
    And asking me for hugs
    What's the matter with parents today?

    Not again
    When will it end?
    Dad's dressing like Motley Crue
    And why is moms hair dyed bright blue?

    And stayin' out till 2 or 3
    Then having sex publicly
    I thought the apple fell far from the tree

    Mom and dad, I think you ought
    To quit smoking so much pot
    And hanging with my friends

    Laying round, on the couch
    With my Misfits records out
    Softly banging your head

    Maybe its just a passing phase
    What's the matter with my parents these days?
     
  10. Garrett Lundy

    Garrett Lundy Well-Known Member

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    " Bombs are blowing up / Cops are corrupt

    and all you care about is who the president fucked.

    You don't know Terrible / But you will

    as soon as Iraqi's come over the hill"

    Terrible The Insane Clown Posse, a full two years before 9-11.
     
  11. Dave Bennett

    Dave Bennett Well-Known Member

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    In terms of amusing and oddball humor, I'd say almost any Warren Zevon song. Also, if you don't mind vulgarity, check out some of Liz Phair's stuff(specifically the stuff off of her first album). Like I said, don't look at it unless you don't mind vulgarity [​IMG]
     
  12. David_Stein

    David_Stein Well-Known Member

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    heres what i consider to be a well written song, and for reference its supposed to be a modern reply to bob dylan's "masters of war". im going to bold some witty parts:

    TITLE: Hey Bobby
    AUTHOR: Sage Francis

    By the time the flags rotted off of their antennas,
    they were questioning who the real threat is.
    Big Brotherly love is the 21rst Century's plague.
    no matter how bloody the glove, question evidence displayed.


    Don't forget what two plus two equals.
    Don't let them upgrade your math no matter what they have as proof of evil.
    Remember when they went after the Jewish people?
    You don't recognize that same black mask as see through?


    Attack of the eagles. If they don't fall dead
    before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in its bald head.
    Fuck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted
    was a warm bed and a house that wasn't haunted.


    I'd rather die for a cause than to die just because
    we exhaust natural resources forced into wars,
    restoring wasteful ways, keeping other countries poor.
    "Monkey see, Monkey do" I wonder what those fucking monkeys saw.



    Keep rethinking the still-frames in your mind,
    and guarantee they will change with time.
    Your outline is pixelated with poor resolution while
    downtime is simply wasted. You were born execution style.


    Head first in a trial. I'll second the motion
    'Til the jury's bored to death and puts your neck in a notion.
    The situation's volatile. A naked problem child
    is trying to find the right clown costume to make his father smile


    So he bombs while he tries to tell jokes.
    This ain't a false alarm, can't you smell the smoke?
    You're in the line of fire where they buy and sell votes.
    Our sense of liberty doesn't ring true, stupid, that's why the bell broke.


    Trench coat Mafiosos propel rocks
    at recruitment officers and rebel against cops
    'Til they hurdle infinite circles in small cell blocks.
    Turtle upon turtle 'til they're all shell shocked.


    This so-called president got elected in a court room.
    With the war efforts of pops he inherited a fortune.
    We "talk, talk, talk..." so the veterans of war assume
    the revolution stopped. This ain't a protest tune.


    "Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days.
    They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave.
    "Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave.
    I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake...I'm a wait until their fuckin' skin decays."


    You can't roam a lost land as the last existing dinosaur.
    There's no escaping ass kickings in these times of war,
    replacing apples with hospitals...where doctors are hostile,
    Killing two pterodactyls with one fossil.


    I got you. If they don't fall dead
    Before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in it's bald head.
    Fuck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted,
    Was a warm bed...and house that wasn't haunted.


    Thumb through novels to have your fingerprints match,
    The description of criminals committing innocent acts
    of compassion for tired civilians crawling with pistols,
    While we fire million dollar warning missals.


    Force the issues in the back of your head where eyes roll.
    Brain wash yourself out of that mind control.
    Or act a fool like you're told.
    But we won't see no type of justice 'til that bitch removes the blindfold.


    This ain't a "Love it or leave it," it's a "Change it or lose it."
    I'll never sing the anthem of a nation who never faces the music,
    Chasing an ever-elusive caveman
    in space ships that makes trips to the futures that are name-brand.



    Faking progress...but we ain't advanced
    Enough to change the posture of our ape stance?
    They've got the key to the city but they prefer the break-in entry.
    Duck and weave, I'm shedding light in their shadow box to make it empty.


    "Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days.
    They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave.
    "Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave.
    I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake...I'm a wait until their fuckin' skin decays."


    Attack of the eagles. If they don't fall dead
    Before they reach me, I'll be damned if I don't shoot one in its bald head.
    Fuck what we're force fed. All I ever wanted
    was a warm bed...

    There's nothing scarier than the human stories I tell ghosts,
    Chilling accounts with my tongue frozen to bed posts.
    The catharses of carcasses whenever threats are close,
    Shows a heartlessness that doesn't register on stethoscopes.


    Sell your hopes for a homeland security chart,
    'Til your sense of self is broke and no man's pure in the heart.
    Preventive detention for the folks who never left home.
    Tensions have grown into a 24/7 red zone.


    Scare tactics...have got you under control,
    The fear factors of a color code. The uppers know
    They can't hold you down without having anchors attached.
    "It's all the same." Nah, balls and chains on ankles don't match.


    So drag your torso back to the off road.
    We may have lost the fashion battle but we ain't lost the wardrobe.
    Go window shopping for your next free meal,
    Cuz when we start the revolution all you'll probably do is steal.


    "Hey, Bobby...the Masters are back. They're up to no good just like the old days.
    They played dead when you stood over their grave, Bobby. They played dead when you stood over their grave.
    "Hey, Bobby...them bastards are back. It's our turn to stand over their grave.
    I'm a do it right this time...I'm awake...I'm a wait until their fucking skin decays."
     
  13. FeisalK

    FeisalK Well-Known Member

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    dunno about Radiohead, but their song titles are fun [​IMG]

    10cc's known for their wit (Good Morning Judge, Dreadlock Holiday)

    No Children
    (The Mountain Goats, from the album Tallahassee)

    I hope that our few remaining friends
    Give up on trying to save us
    I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
    To piss off the dumb few that forgave us
    I hope the fences we mended
    Fall down beneath their own weight
    And I hope we hang on past the last exit
    I hope it's already too late
    And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
    Someday burns down
    And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
    And I never come back to this town
    Again in my life
    I hope I lie
    And tell everyone you were a good wife
    And I hope you die
    I hope we both die

    I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
    I hope it bleeds all day long
    Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
    We're pretty sure they're all wrong
    I hope it stays dark forever
    I hope the worst isn't over
    And I hope you blink before I do
    Yeah I hope I never get sober
    And I hope when you think of me years down the line
    You can't find one good thing to say
    And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
    You'd stay the hell out of my way
    I am drowning
    There is no sign of land
    You are coming down with me
    Hand in unlovable hand
    And I hope you die
    I hope we both die
     
  14. FeisalK

    FeisalK Well-Known Member

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    does Wierd Al count in this category?
     
  15. Jon_Are

    Jon_Are Well-Known Member

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    Me:

    Umm....not exactly what I asked for. [​IMG]

    Jon
     
  16. FeisalK

    FeisalK Well-Known Member

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    Dr Seuss, anyone? [​IMG]
     
  17. Phil A

    Phil A Premium
    Supporter

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  18. Phil Florian

    Phil Florian Well-Known Member

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    C'mon, ya gotta include "They Might Be Giants."

    "Minimum wage...hyaaa! (cue whip crack)"

    "Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads..."

    "I don't want the world...I just want your half."

    Okay, these are horrid examples but they are a funny if a bit oddball group for lyrics.

    Check out Lyle Lovett for witty and clever but also touching and sad.

    Barenaked Ladies had a good run of fun lyrics on their first few albums (with later albums doing okay in that department).

    The Bobs?

    Oy.

    Phil
     
  19. Seth--L

    Seth--L Well-Known Member

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    Aria: "Madamina, il catalogo รจ questo"
    from Don Giovanni
    Libretto by Lorenzo da Ponte
    Music by W.A. Mozart

    Leporello:
    Calm yourself! You are not, were not
    and will not he either the first or the
    last. Look: this fat little book
    is entirely filled of the names of his
    sweethearts. Each town, each district,
    each region testifies to his affairs
    with women.

    My dear lady, this is a list
    Of the beauties my master has loved,
    A list which I have compiled.
    Observe, read along with me.
    In Italy, six hunddred and forty;
    In Germany, two hundred and thirty-one;
    A hundred in France; in Turkey, ninety-one;
    In Spain already one thousand and three.
    Among these are peasant girls,
    Maidservants, city girls,
    Countesses, baronesses,
    Marchionesses, princesses,
    Women of every rank,
    Every shape, every age.
    With blondes it is his habit
    To praise their kindness;
    In brunettes, their faithfulness;
    In the very blond, their sweetness.
    In winter he likes fat ones.
    In summer he likes thin ones.
    He calls the tall ones majestic.
    The little ones are always charming.
    He seduces the old ones
    For the pleasure of adding to the list.
    His greatest favourite
    Is the young beginner.
    It doesn't matter if she's rich,
    Ugly or beautiful;
    If she wears a petticoat,
    You know what he does.

    http://www.columbia.edu/itc/music/NY...iMadamina.html
     
  20. Rachael B

    Rachael B Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    Real Name:
    Rachael Bellomy
    POLITICAL SCIENCE by Randy Newman
    INTERGALACTIC LAXITIVE by Donovan
    LOST IN THE SUPERMARKET by The Clash

    ...are all very nice, me thinks.

    Parliment's PRELUDE from The Clones Of Dr. Funkenstein

    (illegible), (garbled), (ect.),
    funk upon a time, in the days of the funkaquess, the concept of specially designed afronauts capable of funkitizing galaxies was first laid on man-child, but was later repossesed and placed among the secret of the pyramids, until a more positive attitude towards this most sacred phenomenon, clone funk, could be aqquired, then these terrestial projects, it would wait along with it's co-inhabitants, the kings and pharohs like sleeping beauties, for the kiss that would release them to multiply in the image of the chosen one, Dr. Funkenstein, and funk is it's own reward, (garbled some, THEREFORE YOU KNEW proably)....


    George Clinton and Bootsy made this kind of stuff up all the time. What about Bootsy's song about sperms trying to get to the egg first...what was that one called...? I'm not kidding, this is an actual song.
     

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