The Eternal Simpsons Quote Thread (1 Viewer)

[Tom Keels]

Homer giving Cheif Wiggum the Police Raffle ticket.
"I'd like a yellow boat please with extra motors."
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Tom Keels
Why is the rabbit smoking a pipe?
Because he's smarter than the panther.
--Anthony Hopkins, The Edge

 

[brianacook]

another ralphie one.
"go orange!"
"go apple!"
"go banana!"

 

[David Paymer]

" Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"
" Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow.Well, good night"
" Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get"
" Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't- it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such"
" Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way"

 

[Craig S]

The Simpsons are in the school auditorium watching the teachers' "talent" show. Bart says:

I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks AND blows.

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Too many DVDs, too little time...
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[John Spencer]

At the community yard sale, after noticing the denim jacket that Homer screwed up: "Disco Stu wants this jacket." Said by Disco Stu.

 

[Hanson]

Homer: "Help me Jebus!"

 

[Rick Connelly]

One of my favorite episodes has to be Bart's Inner Child:
Homer: Tramapoline! Trampopoline!
...and later on in that episode:
Todd: Each leap brings us closer to God.
Rod: Catch me, Lord, catch me!
[They collide and fall onto the ground]
What have we done to make God angry?
...
Homer: Kids, kids: once you get hurt, move aside and let other people jump.
...
Kearney: Shh, quiet! You'll wake up old man Simpson.
Jimbo: Hey, no more trampoline.
Kearney: Let's jump on the car instead!
BTW: you can find complete transcripts of most episodes at www.snpp.com

 

[Tom Foppiano]

Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.
Burns: We know what YOU think.
McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such tv anniversary specials as The Chevy Chase Show: 6 weeks of fabulous fun!
Lisa: Pavlo Nerudo (not sure on spelling) said that laughter is the music of the soul.
Bart: I am familiar with the works of Pavlo Nerudo.

 

[Hunter Sharum]

Homer: There's so much I don't know about astrophysics!
I bet you're all jealous of my initials

 

[Tim Raffey]

"Dont you hate pants?"
-Homer, trying to get a stand-up comic to tell everyone to burn their pants.
"Does anybody have jumper cables?"
-Senor Ding-Dong, having trouble starting his van.
"First Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then he makes fun of the way I talk -- probably."
-Homer, about to pick a fight with George Bush.

 

[Tom Meyer]

Greatest Frink-ism ever:
Lisa: (reading Comic Book Guy's shirt) c:dos, c:dosrun, rundosrun (giggles) Only one person in a million would find that funny
Frink: Yes, we call that the "Dennis Miller Ratio", bleh-hey

 

[McPaul]

Hot diggety!! I'm gonna smooch her like a mule eating an apple!!!
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[Mike St.Louis]

Paul, did you just see that one on Teletoon? Hilarious!
---
Homer reaching under the couch looking for a peanut and finding a $20 bill.
Homer: *moan* $20!! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: $20 could buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services!
Homer: WOO HOO!!
---
Lady: Why do you want to be a 'Bigger Brother'?
Homer's Brain: DON'T SAY REVENGE! DON'T SAY REVENGE! DON'T SAY REVENGE!
Homer: Uh, revenge?
Homer's Brain: That's it, I'm outta here! *thump* *thump* *thump* *thump* SLAM!

 

[David Oliver]

The ultimate film buff quote from Homer:
Homer: Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown.
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My DVD Collection http://www.dvdtracker.com/~tretiak.asp
Left Field Sports http://www.leftfieldsports.com

 

[John Spencer]

At the Springfield Film Festival:
Marge: "Homey, you know Barney's movie was the best one there."
Homer: "But, Maarge, Man Gets Hit in the Crotch works on so many levels!"
During "Behind The Laughter":
Homer: "Just to set the record straight: I thought the undercover cop was a prostitute."

 

[Tom Foppiano]

Another one I just remembered when I saw it in syndication last night, possibly my favorite:
"When you get to Hell, tell 'em Itchy sent ya'!"

 

[Craig S]

Bart & Milhouse have come into money and have Apu make them an all-syrup special. Bart:

Wait a minute. This looks like rock and/or roll.

I think we all need to keep this thread going until the first Simpsons DVD set arrives next year!

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Too many DVDs, too little time...
Join the HTF Seti@Home Team!

 

[Tim Johnson]

Homer: Am I turning you on?
Marge: No.
Homer: What if I undo this button?
Marge: Goodnight Homer.
Homer: (Barry White voice) What if I talk like this?
Marge: (turns off light)
Homer: What if I sing to you? (singing) I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone. Mmmmm... Chicken...

 

[Eric Finn]

"You don't win friends with salad"
"You don't win friends with salad"
{All chant along now...}

 

[Moe Maishlish]

Saxamaphone....
MOe.