The eternal Family Guy Quotes thread (1 Viewer)

[James T]

Peter and bunch of men are at a meeting deciding the name of a now famous rabbit, Bugs Bunny

Man: Who's in favour of Bugs Bunny?

(All raise hands except Peter)

Man: And who's in favour of Effren(?) the Eternal Rabbit?

(Only Peter's hand is raised)

Peter: (looks around room) You guys can all go to Hell!

I don't remember the context of this episode, only the Peter being on a bus with a bunch of women.

Peter: I feel like I'm Charlie and you're all my angels...except you(points to the big ugly fat one). You can be Bosley.

And another one, I don't remember the exact quote, but it was the episode where the family got hosed with Radio active waste threaten the town if they don't meet their demands.

Adam West: You have to fight fire with fire.

(Adam West goes to a radioactive dump and rolls around in the waster)

(Next scene at the hospital)

Doctor: What the hell were you thinking?

 

[Neil J]

Randy Newman singing about what he sees:

"she takes a bite, takes another bite..."

 

[Mike Broadman]

Man: And who's in favour of Effren(?) the Eternal Rabbit?

Effram the Retarded Rabbit

The scene on the bus with Peter and his "angels" was when he went on a retreat from women to explore his feminine side. That episode featured that great gag where he tried to breast feed Stewie.

 

[NickSo]

I think i saw Ephiram in the captions... not 100% sure though

 

[Malcolm R]

After Brian pees in the supermarket:
Stewie: Will someone get "Patches" outside before he decides to bend a fresh biscuit on the conveyor belt.

 

[Inspector Hammer!]

All great lines!
Thank goodness this shows available on dvd, THANK YOU FOX!!!!
Another favorite, Peter's watching a parody of that oil painting show with Bob Ross...
Bob...
"Alright, were gonna switch to our fan brush here, and i'll tell you what, let's put a happy little bush right here, it'll be our little secret.
And if you tell ANYONE, that that bush is their...I will come to your house and I will CUT YOU!!"
Cut to Peter painting a portrait of the Keaton family from the opening of 'Family Ties'.
And I cannot believe nobody mentioned the 'Debeers' diamond jewlery commercial parody...
"She'll pretty much have to."
To explain any further would get me banned!

 

[Malcolm R]

Stewie runs outside naked, jumps in the mud, then gets sprayed with cold water from a hose:
Stewie: Blast! I'm freezing! I'm hypothermic. (looks down) Bloody Hell! I'm a woman!
Peter meeting James Carville:
Peter: Gah! Yagh! Ack! (shields eyes from view of James Carville) Jeez, did someone open the Ark of the Covenant?

Oh, and the Schoolhouse Rock parody substituting terms for female genitalia and male, um, stuff.

 

[Tom Boucher]

Stewie was the whole reason I watched that show. That one where he made the time machine to stop his teething was one of my all time favorites.

 

[Mike Broadman]

Dennis Miller on TV:

"I don't want to go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Atietum. I mean, when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Roskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate."

Peter: "What does rant mean?"

 

[PS Nystrom]

From: The Story on Page One, disc 4 of the DVD set.

Stewie constructs a device to control Chris. We see Stewie just outside a hardware store as he sends Chris in to make a purchase.

Good day shop-keep. I require a hand operated buzz saw capable of cutting through a human sternum. It's for a school project. I'm some sort of student sent here for... oh blast, what the devil do they study?... uh, Latin class.

Chris is told he can't buy any power tools because he is a minor which Stewie via Chris responds to with:

Now look here you gore-bellied codpiece, allow me to purchase the provisions I demand or I shall transform your blue collar into a red one and... who the deuce are you? No I don't have any spare change. Where the hell would I keep it? In my diaper? Get out of here you hobo! Oh bloody hell, is this thing still on?

I just love hearing Stewie's words coming out of Chris' mouth. I practically fell out of my chair the first time I heard it. Similarly I love the episode where the Olsen twins play Stewie and Brian.

 

[NickSo]

The native american comedian:

"Look, im david BOWie!"

Stewie: "Ha-ha.. now tell the one that doesnt suck!

Oh thank you thank you...

So whats the deal with airline food?!"

Also from stewie (paraphrased):

"Its not a time machine! No, no! It's a, it's a- Blast, what the devil do children draw? IT'S A PHEASANT!!!"

 

[Malcolm R]

I saw this for the first time the other day and thought I was gonna pee.

 

[Kevin Porter]

"Why don't you just save your self years of sexual ambiguity and get yourself fitted for a plaid, flannel shirt and a pair of dock martins?"

 

[Ryan FB]

Resurrecting for the Vol 2 DVD coming out next week
From the episode where Peter becomes a knight:
(Peter's asking Mr. Weed for a promotion) *shot of the outside of the Toy Factory* "Mr. Weed, I was wondering, you know, if I could get a promotion." *camera pulls back to show Peter talking to a mirror* "Hey, that wasn't that hard at all!" *pulls back further to show that Peter's actually in Mr. Weed's office*
(after Peter's boss drops dead at dinner)"It's not like anyone will know he's here!" *knock on door* "Who's there?" "It's the police, random dead body inspection."
Peter's Jesus-Hulk eulogy at the funeral.

 

[Josh Sieg]

My favorite bits:

The Kool Aid Man "Ohhhh yeaaahhhh!!"

the various Hitler cameos

Peter Griffin: I'm looking for some toilet training books.

Salesman: We have the popular 'everybody poops", or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'.

Peter Griffin: Well, you see, we're catholic...

Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'you're a naughty, naughty boy, and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.

 

[Mike Broadman]

Meg: Mom, can I be in your play?

Stewie: Yes, you can be the dumpy teenager that cries backstage because none of the boys find her attractive. Hah-hah!

Peter narrating his life:

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course, I could never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow, I think she knew. Lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes I had fallen in love with had begun to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life...

... I awoke several hours later in a daze.

Lois: Peter, if you keep drinking like this, something terrible will happen!

Peter: Yeah, something terrible, all the way to the bank!

Brian: Nice.

Peter: Hey, Lois, what do you call a woman who cooks real slow. Ya call her Lois.

Stewie: Hah-hah, the fat man made a funny! I rather enjoyed that. Yes, you cook very slowly. In fact, if you were any slower at cooking... why, you wouldn't be cooking very fast at all. Wait, that wasn't very good.

---

Ok, I've got one- if you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer, you'd need and egg calendar! Oh yes, I went there.

 

[NickSo]

IIIITTS ALLLIIIVE!
Just in time for the release of FAMILY GUY DVD VOLUME 2!
I'm so going to get it right after class tomorrow, CAN'T WAIT!

 

[AaronJB]

Peter: Brian, I think my Alpha Bits are talking to me... they're saying, "Oooooooooo".

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

 

[NickSo]

I just watched this episode on DVD today:
Peter: Nice to see you. Lovely weather we're having. After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane had his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.

 

[Rob_V]

*Clevland and Peter sitting in the Drunken Clam*

Peter: So Chris starts with this "yo yo yo" stuff and I don't know WHAT in the hell he's saying, so I start whiping him with the hose, and then my arm got tired, so now I'm here.