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Testy Area 51

Discussion in 'Testing' started by Steve Christou, Aug 27, 2002.

  1. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Hi Thi!!
    Are you testing? Just being friendly? Missing this thread? All of the above?
    Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
    [pause]
    Zapp Brannigan: Kif! I'm asking you a question!
    [Kif groans.]
    Fry : I know Big Vinnie said he was giving me the Kiss of Death,
    but I still think he was gay.
    Leela : Did he use his tongue?
    Fry : A little.
     
  2. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    Hi Steve! How's it hanging?

     
  3. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Hi Thi, listen... A guy walks into a bar carrying a battered briefcase and orders a cold one. The bartender brings him a beer and says, "Hey pal, it's none of my business, but what do you have in the case?"

    Without saying a word, the man opens the case and out pops a little man, about a foot high. He runs across the bar, jumps down to the floor, runs across the room to a piano in the corner, jumps up and begins to play. He is pounding out wonderful piano music, and people are peeking in from the street to see who this guy is. Pretty soon the bar is full of people and the bartender is doing better business than he has in years.

    "Hey that guy is great," he says to the man with the case. "Where did you get him?" "I was in Egypt by the Great Pyramids," the man replies. "It was very hot so I leaned against the pyramid to rest. The stone block moved and I found a magic lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared and said he would grant just one wish."

    "That's incredible," said the bartender, "do you think it is still there?"

    "Oh, it's still there," the man said, "but I have to warn you that when you make your wish, be sure to speak very slowly and clearly and enunciate each word."

    "Well, it works, right?" said the bartender. "You got your wish didn't you?"

    "Tell me," the man replied wearily, "do you really think I would wish for a twelve-inch pianist?"
     
  4. Parker Clack

    Parker Clack Schizophrenic Man
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    ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

    I feel much better now. Thank you.

    Parker
     
  5. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Parker was that in response to my joke, a forum member, somebody stepping on your toe or testing out a new [rant]SCREAM[/rant] mode function thingy you have devised for us lowly plebs?[​IMG]
    Question: What do you call a man with no arms or legs hiding in a bush?
    Rustle
     
  6. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    That's hilarious. The guy wished for a 12-inch piano, and he received a pianist instead. LOL!

    UH OH. MY BNOSE IS BLEEDING!!!!!!!!
     
  7. Parker Clack

    Parker Clack Schizophrenic Man
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    No actually it is called primal screaming. It works well. Especially in a large crowd or in a locked sound proof closet. Your choice.

    One will clear the room for you and the other well the room is already cleared so..........the bottom line is that you have a cleared out room. Nice. Nice. Nice.

    Or is that Ni. Ni. Ni. ?

    I am so confused!!

    Well if you hold you thumb at the top of the page like this.......

    What?

    You won't get so confused....

    We are in the chapel now. No one can hear us!

    What?

    I said we are in the chapel..

    What did you say?

    Ni!

    It's a secret mission in uncharted space.

    But I'm not dead!

    Put down that pickle.

    and remember. This is your Uncle Don saying good night!

    Good night! We're off? Good. That ought to hold the little bastards.
     
  8. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    My nose is better now. The left nostril was bleeding, and it took about two minutes for it to stop. Now I have this red gunk in my nose. To pick or not to pick--that is the question.

    Ooooh, I bought an air purifier last night. The air is so cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan now. I hope this helps with my allergies.

    AHHHHCHOOOOO!

    ~T
     
  9. Gerald LaFrance

    Gerald LaFrance Supporting Actor

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  10. Parker Clack

    Parker Clack Schizophrenic Man
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    Just once I would have liked to have heard Johnny Carson say to Ed McMahon...

    "Jesus Christ Ed. It wouldn't be so bad but my eye's are burning!"

    --Parker
     
  11. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Nu!
    [rant]Testy! Testy! [/rant]
    Klaatu Barada Nikto!
    Sandra's 26th birthday coming up soon, I asked her what dvd she wanted,
    she said Dirty Dancing [groan]...
    I dedicate these quotes to the girl I love.....
    CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
    VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
    CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
    BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
    VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
    BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
    WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
    BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
    WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
    CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
    WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
    BEDEVERE: Well?
    VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
    BEDEVERE: The nose?
    VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
    CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
    BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
    CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
    VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
    BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
    VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
    BEDEVERE: A newt?
    VILLAGER #3: .....I got better.
    VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
    CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
    BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
    CROWD: Are there? What are they?
    BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
    VILLAGER #2: Burn!
    CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
    BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
    VILLAGER #1: More witches!
    VILLAGER #2: Wood!
    BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
    [pause]
    VILLAGER #3: B'... 'cause they're made of wood...?
    BEDEVERE: Good!
    CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
    BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
    VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
    BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
    VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
    BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
    VILLAGER #1: No, no.
    VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
    VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
    CROWD: The pond!
    BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
    VILLAGER #1: Bread!
    VILLAGER #2: Apples!
    VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
    VILLAGER #1: Cider!
    VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
    VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
    VILLAGER #2: Mud!
    VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
    VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
    ARTHUR: A duck!.
    CROWD: Ooooh!.
    BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,
    VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
    BEDEVERE: And therefore--?
    VILLAGER #1: A witch!
    BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!
    [yelling]
    BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!
    [whop]
    [creak]
    CROWD: A witch! A witch!
    WITCH: It's a fair cop.
    CROWD: Burn her! Burn her!
     
  12. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    What's wrong with Dirty Dancing? I love that movie. Everybody sing along:

    Now I've had the time of my life

    No, I never felt like this before

    Yes, I swear, it's the truth

    And I owe it all to you

    'Cause I've had the time of my life

    And I owe it all to you

    I've been waiting for so long

    Now I've finally found someone to stand by me

    We saw the writing on the wall

    As we felt this magical fantasy

    Now with passion in our eyes

    There's no way we could disguise it secretly

    So we take each other's hand

    'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

    Just remember

    You're the one thing I can't get enough of

    So I'll tell you something, this could be love because

    I've had the time of my life

    No, I never felt this way before

    Yes, I swear, it's the truth

    And I owe it all to you

    Hey baby

    With my body and soul

    I want you more than you'll ever know

    So we'll just let it go

    Don't be afraid to lose control, no

    Yes, I know what's on your mind

    When you say "stay with me tonight" (stay with me)

    And remember

    You're the one thing I can't get enough of

    So I'll tell you something, this could be love because

    I've had the time of my life

    No, I never felt this way before

    Yes, I swear (yes, I swear), it's the truth

    And I owe it all to you

    'Cause I've had the time of my life

    And I searched through every open door (never felt this way)

    Well right now all true

    And I owe it all to you

    Now I've (I've) had the time of my life

    No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way)

    Yes, I swear, it's the truth

    And I owe it all to you

    I've had the time of my life

    No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way)

    Yes, I swear, it's the truth (it's the truth)

    And I owe it all to you

    'Cause I've had the time of my life (I've had the time of my life)

    I searched through every open door (did you do it, baby)

    So right now (so did you, baby) all true (now)

    And I owe it all to you

    ~T
     
  13. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Thi stop that!! I lost control and started clicking my fingers and swinging my hips as I was reading those lyrics (not easy when you're sitting down), anyway I'm fully recovered now and mercifully no one witnessed it.[​IMG]
     
  14. Gerald LaFrance

    Gerald LaFrance Supporting Actor

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  15. Gerald LaFrance

    Gerald LaFrance Supporting Actor

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  16. Parker Clack

    Parker Clack Schizophrenic Man
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  17. Parker Clack

    Parker Clack Schizophrenic Man
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    Thi:

    You forgot about Eric Carmen and Hungry Eyes.......

    Everybody sit and sing along:

    I've been meaning to tell you

    I've got this feelin' that won't subside

    I look at you and I fantasize

    You're mine tonight

    Now I've got you in my sights

    With these hungry eyes

    One look at you and I can't disguise

    I've got hungry eyes

    I feel the magic between you and I

    I wanna hold you so hear me out

    I wanna show you what love's all about

    Darlin' tonight

    Now I've got you in my sights

    With these hungry eyes

    One look at you and I can't disguise

    I've got hungry eyes

    I feel the magic between you and I

    I've got hungry eyes

    Now I've got you in my sights

    With those hungry eyes

    Now did I take you by surprise

    I need you to see

    This love was meant to be

    (SOLO)

    I've got hungry eyes

    One look at you and I can't disguise

    I've got hungry eyes

    I feel the magic between you and I

    I've got hungry eyes

    Now I've got you in my sights

    With those hungry eyes

    Now did I take you by surprise

    With my hungry eyes

    I need...

    Hungry eyes

    Now I've got you in my sights

    With my hungry eyes
     
  18. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    [rant]Aaaarghhh![/rant]
    Parker sorry just testing out the rant mode.[​IMG]
    Okay time to fire back a volley, and guys try not to leap onto your desks and start waving your arms around, its undignified, get set.....GO!!!
    Just a still town girl on a saturday night, lookin' for the fight of her life
    In the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say she's crazy
    Locking rhythms to the beat of her heart, changing woman into life
    She has danced into the danger zone, when a dancer becomes a dance
    It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
    On a wire between will and what will be
    She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
    And she's dancing like she's never danced before
    She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
    And she's dancing like she's never danced before
    On the ice-build iron sanity is a place most never see
    It's a hard warm place of mystery, touch it, but can't hold it
    You work all your life for that moment in time, it could come or pass you by
    It's a push of the world, but there's always a chance
    If the hunger stays the night
    There's a cold connective heat, struggling, stretching for defeat
    Never stopping with her head against the wind
    She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
    And she's dancing like she's never danced before
    She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
    And she's dancing like she's never danced before
    (Solo)
    It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
    On a wire between will and what will be
    She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
    And she's dancing like she's never danced before
    (repeats out)
     
  19. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    What happened to Dirty Dancing? Oh well, here we go:

    First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream

    That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind

    All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride

    In a world made of steel, made of stone

    Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm

    Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

    Chorus:

    What a feeling, bein's believin'

    I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life

    Take your passion, and make it happen

    Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

    (Solo)

    Now I hear the music, close my eyes, I am rhythm

    In a flash it takes hold of my heart

    chorus (with ... "now I'm dancing through my life")

    What a feeling

    What a feeling (I am music now), bein's believin' (I am rhythm now)

    Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

    What a feeling (I can really have it all)

    What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call)

    I can have it all (I can really have it all)

    Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)

    (call, call, call, call, what a feeling) I can have it all

    (Bein's believin') bein's believin'

    (Take your passion, make it happen) make it happen

    (What a feeling) what a feeling... (to fade)

    ~T
     
  20. Parker Clack

    Parker Clack Schizophrenic Man
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    Steve:

    How did we go from Dirty dancing to Flash dancing?

    Parker
     

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