Teenage telephone troubles (1 Viewer)

[Holadem]

Agreed.

Dave, you're way too soft with our kids. The other day during one of her tantrums, I kneeled in front of my 3 y/o looked at her straight in the eyes and told her: "You fuck around with me again and I'll drop kick you". She's been quiet as a whisper since.

--
H - Just kidding, folks. Geez.

 

[Elinor]

Hola, you a crazy one

I didn't realize you and Dave had kids together ....

 

[Ted Lee]

 

[Holadem]

Cripes. Did I dig that one for myself or what?

--
H - Good catch Elinor.

 

[Ashley Rose C]

Well i am pretty young myself, and in the start of my high school carrier i was a social butterfly. My father told me i had the phone at certain times in the day. Any call made from there or received out of that time was allowed but only to tell them when to call, or to solve whatever it was that was presented to me.

I was upset at first but in the end i thank him for it. I got my homework done with better attention and i also found other activities to get done. AND i wasn't getting so wrapped up in the social talking about each other world as much ...i think the fighting and yelling your girls will do will be worth it in the end

Or you can just get a second phone line and take it away for a month like my fiance suggested

good luck :wink:

 

[DaveNel]

Well I didnt wanna get into the personal area of this, So before I look bad or whatever I am gonna give the details to also why I need something to block certiam numbers incoming and outgoing.

My Daughters are 16, Yes they are on the phone day, night always it seems. Well they are talking to 30 year old men, talkin about drugs, 1 of my daughters just had a Baby from someone that is 26 years old. Grades are bad, skipping school, Backtalking, I mean I have tried everything short of Girls school!!!!!!!!!! dont want to do that. Just I have to be a parent and I am. I am trying to work with them but nothing is working. So I am commited to cutting the incoming and outgoing numbers that are causing alot of problems here.. I hope you all understand now. 1 of them is threatning to drop out of school so she can work. Actually so she can do what she wants when she wants and how she wants if I remember her telling that to her friend last week..

 

[Andrew_Sch]

Well, if it's affecting their grades and other aspects of their lives negatively (which it cerainly seems to be), then that changes things entirely. If they were good kids who did well in school and such, then I would endorse being lenient and finding a compromise solution (as I had suggested), but given what you just revealed, I say do your worst.

 

[Ricardo C]

It sounds like getting rid of the phone line isn't such a extreme measure.

Good luck, Dave.

 

[Jimi C]

I think you had better try girls school. Its alot better than prison. (So i assume)

 

[Leila Dougan]

I hate to say, but I think your problem is MUCH MUCH bigger than the telephone line. At this point I'd venture to say that you shouldn't be seeking advice from an internet board, but a family therapist instead.

 

[DaveNel]

Well I put stops on a lot of things allready, Now if I can just end contact with the ones that are helping create problems. Once that gets done I think it will get better.

I just didnt want to get into the detail with what was going on. But I didnt want to sound like a monster either.

But I do beleive if I can find a way to block a few numbers and start home schooling that things will get better.. least I hope anyway..

 

[Ted Lee]

that *totally* changes things dave. you have a whole other set of problems that require attention.

i agree with leila here.

get some professional help!

really, this is your family you're talking about, and things do not appear to be going well.

best of luck bud!

 

[todbnla]

Dave,
I gotta say, you do in fact need to heed the advise of the others, seek some help my friend. My problems seem tiny in comparison, my kids are honors "preppies" and other than the constance annoyance of the phone and "when can we go to the mall, life is good. Hang in there and best of luck!!

 

[Lew Crippen]

What Leila wrote. Clearly the phone is not the issue.

To add to Leila and Ted’s suggestions: not only should you get professional help, you should get it now. Go, even if your daughters and wife won’t.

Go now.

Good luck.

 

[DaveF]

Dave - I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I know a family that had an off-the-hook teenage son. He wasn't malicious, but failing high school, mild drug use, and wholly disobedient (the mom couldn't discipline him). He was a sharp, charismatic kid, but he was an idiot 18-year old with no sense of purpose in life.

Nothing would get through to him; he didn't care. As a near-last resort, the parents enrolled him in a 'scared straight' weekend; the police lock up a bunch of punks for a week in jail to show them a possible conclusion to their current life. The week before he was to go, a state judge ruled the program unconstitutional and canceled it. So back, to life as a teenage slacker.

In the end, what turned him around was a life-threatening illness shortly after high-school graduation. He saw his mortality, and that had a dramatic effect on his attitude.

Their problems are much lesser than your concerns, but you're not the only to face impossible, screw-up kids. Friends from church ran an informal support group, when they were struggling with a daughter with similar troubles to yours. Maybe you can find support, ideas, and success with the help of others in your community.

 

[Justin Lane]

Um, stopping the phone calls are the least of your worries. How about cutting off the balls of the guy who knocked up your daughter (or having him arrested for statutory rape if you'd like another alternative), or telling the drug dealer to screw off and leave your daughter alone (or turning him and your daughter into the police). You have an out of control situation, and being a nice guy about this phone situation is not going to do a thing for the health of your family. It sounds like your girls need some really tough love.

J

 

[Andrew_Sch]

They also need more than having the phones numbers blocked. They'll find other ways to stay in contact with the unsavory characters.

 

[EricWilliam]

sorry, i call bullshit DaveNel..sounds waaayyy too fishy for me...some people are just in it for the attention...

 

[DaveNel]

(LOL) I dont need that kind of attention

 

[MarkHastings]

That's a good idea. Make them sweat it out without a phone for a while. They'll probably beg you to have it hooked back up. At this point, discuss why it was taken out and what measures could be put into place to prevent it from occurring again when it is hooked up.

Discuss the problem and then propose the second line, they'll jump all over that and they'll probably be so grateful for having a phone line back (and it being their own on top of it), they may be more respectful since they know that they need to be better, so as not to suffer the "no phone" situation again.

In other words, giving them the second line is probably your best solution, but don't do it because they refuse to listen to you. That will lose their respect for you as an 'authority figure' in the house. Make it sound like a combined decision/solution and they'll probably be more respectful since you (in some ways) treated them more as an equal (yet still standing firm as the adult) and not acting like the dictator.