*** Official VAN HELSING Discussion Thread (1 Viewer)

[Malcolm R]

You're assuming those are universal examples of "good" films in this category. Not everyone drools over SW or T2.

I'm not sure overall word of mouth is that bad either. Yahoo! Movies shows a "B" grade based on over 8,000 responses.

 

[Mikel_Cooperman]

A coherent script?

 

[Jason Seaver]

That's kind of a false dichotomy, though. I highly doubt Stephen Sommers looked at his production budget and said "well, I could use this $10,000 to get another kewl shot of flying vampire babes, or spend it on giving myself another two weeks rewriting Dracula's dialogue so he doesn't sound like a whiny teenager... Hmmm... Let's go for making models look grotesque!" I'll grant that there may have been time constraints - Universal had committed to this weekend, and they knew the FX work would likely take X amount of time, so principal photography had to begin by Y date.

But I doubt there was a conscious decision to make the movie stupid to cram more effects in. Sommers just turned out a crap script.

 

[Malcolm R]

I was really angry after "Godzilla," but I enjoyed VH.

 

[Andres Munoz]

I found the movie entertaining but there were 2 scenes that made really me cringe (yes guys, "only" 2. ):
When Kate Beckinsale is swinging towards David Wenham and David throws the antidote to her. We get a stupid ass slo-mo of her catching it with one hand while holding on to the cable with the other.
Then the very next scene after that when after staking the last vampire bride, Kate says something like "...and if you're going to kill someone just do it instead of standing there talking..." (can't remember the exact wording). The way that line was delivered just made me feel embarrased for her.

 

[LorenzoL]

I understand perfectly that nowadays summer movies are supposed to be mindless affairs, to take us away from our every day life at least for a couple of hours, but me personally, I expect some resemblance of a coherent plot.

That's the reason why I dislike Van Helsing, because of a subpar plot, cheesy dialogue and mediocre CGI.

 

[Pete-D]

I like "fun" summer movies, even those that skew towards "pure junk food for the mind". I enjoyed the first Mummy film. I thought it had some really funny moments and the chemistry between the leads was a lot of fun.

But Van Helsing just pushed it way too far. Its a bad Saturday morning cartoon. The beginning black & white sequence was fun. But the movie definitely tumbles after that.

Its fine to have big spectacle and loud sound but I think in any movie, even one like this, when you lose the audience because honestly I didn't know what the heroes were fighting for or where they had to go half-way through the movie.

Kate Beckinsale looks great, but her accent is so terrible shes almost a lock for a Razzie. You feel embarrassed for her.

I think actually Universal is going to get a rude awakening next weekend, just as they did with "The Hulk" (a much better movie, which they had similar franchise expectations for).

 

[Mikel_Cooperman]

From imdb...

Not Quite a Monster Smash


Van Helsing took a big bite out of the weekend box office as it opened with an estimated $54.2 million, but the figure was nowhere near last year's summer season opener, X2, which took in $85.6 million, or the record $114.8 million taken in by Spider-Man in 2002. Although some reports referred to the film's "monster opening," the film, which reportedly cost more than $160 million to produce, does not appear likely to garner that amount back in its domestic run, analysts said. (It opened on Friday to mostly negative reviews.)

 

[ZacharyTait]

While I agree with you that he was much better in the two X-men movies, I don't think he did Van Helsing just to collect a paycheck.

As for the DVD, I think I'll be replaying the first time we see Anna over and over again, just to see Kate's ass!

 

[Chris Harvey]

I went in hoping for something along the lines of THE MUMMY and came out thinking "This is the worst film I've seen in quite awhile" -- enough to make me ache for those lost 2+ hours.

The disconnect began pretty early for me, and I'm mystified at how Sommers made me completely uninterested in three performers I enjoy watching -- how on Earth can someone with the charisma and likeable kickass attitude of Hugh Jackman become such a boring cypher that he's entirely replaceable by a CG monster at the end?

Vickie mentioned cynics -- for me, this entire film reeked of cynicism. At no point is this more obvious when a horse-and-carriage falls off a cliff and EXPLODES.

Now, obviously horse-and-carriages don't explode naturally, and to make it so for a film requires some planning and careful pyrotechnics. It is a calculated moment, and IMHO it shows that the filmmakers are so casually dismissive of their audience ("they want explosions! let's give them some more") they're willing to utterly depart from reality for a ridiculous and pointless FX shot.

Of course, this was hammered home a short while later when 8 horses, tethered together, can leap a chasm while pulling a carriage. Uh huh.

If even the most casual human and non-supernatural beast is capable of essentially flying, then -- quite literally -- why should we care about the outcome of any fight? When Anna runs to the edge of the cliff, why shouldn't she simply leap that canyon like Evel Kenieval with a good running start?

 

[Sebastien S]

I really liked it!

Can't wait for the DVD!

 

[BrettV]

"I saw it on sunday, and I was entertained. I wasn't looking for some brain stretching kind of experience, just to be entertained for a couple of hours and I was. "

Same experience here.

Come on people. It's just a movie. Sommers wasn't trying to change the world. He wanted to make a movie that was fun and exciting (and obviously have some eye candy for us guys.) I personally loved the take on Frankensteins monster. It gave him a quality that he has presently been without (good or bad -- it was different.) And the wolfman was done really well. I agree that the cg could have taken a backseat in some scenes, but all in all, I had a good time.

I saw it once, and I will probably see it again.

It's just a movie.

 

[Malcolm R]

I believe there were only six horses, and it's not like they made a nice, neat landing. The carriage fell (see above) and the rear two horses had a pretty rough, scrambling landing.

Why on earth would someone go to a film about vampires, werewolves, and reanimated zombies then get all hung up on the laws of physics?

Either you buy into the whole thing and suspend your disbelief from the start, or you dismiss the film in its entirety and stay the hell away from the theater.

 

[Jason Seaver]

Are any of the folks who didn't like it holding it to a "trying to change the world" standard? My complaint is that I know what Sommers was trying to do, but the end result was not "fun and exciting".

 

[Evelio Figueroa]

You mean like this.

 

[RobertR]

I see that sort of strawman argument made quite a bit:

Everyone who didn’t like it expected Shakespeare

Everyone who didn’t like it expected War and Peace

Everyone who didn’t like it expected Citizen Kane

Even though they can’t point to a single instance of anyone actually saying that. If movies like this were made to the standard of, say, Raiders of the Lost Ark (which is hardly High Art or based on Great Literature), does anyone really think people would complain much? But that seems to be way too high a standard for a lot of people these days.

 

[Rex Bachmann]

MalcolmR wrote (post #153):


I think the original poster's complaint is that placing a "bomb" in horse-drawn carriage is itself a contrivance cynically devised in service of the movie formula (or cliché) of cliffside exploding vehicles, and in that respect it's a more than justified criticism.

 

[Jason Seaver]

Also, I'm pretty sure there were two exploding carriages, or at least two seperate incidents - one which caught fire immediately as it skidded out of control, and the stake bomb which apparently had some kind of primitive motion detector that detected a nearby vampire.

 

[Travis_S]

I didn't like this movie. And I have loved dumb movies in the past. Deep Blue Sea, anyone?

It's just that this one, while also being dumb, was just dull. I didn't care about a single character. Every single piece of dialogue was exposition. The action scenes which the audience is supposed to be wowed by came and went with no build up or suspense. They got old very fast.

The only insight we get into Kate's character is "I want to see the ocean." Wow.

 

[Scott Weinberg]

And that's not even "insight"! That's just a telegraphed plot point that hopes to make her burial scene (by the SEA!) somewhat poignant. Obviously it doesn't even almost work.

Also, there's a hilarious dissection of VH that I came across while wandering through Live Journal. Check it out here.