*** Official MACHETTE Review Thread (1 Viewer)

[mattCR]

Maybe this won't win the weekend. Machette isn't the best film I've seen this year. It's not in the top five. But what it was was fun.


Machette is an old school, completely over the top exploitation film that rotates between gasps and laughs.

This film isn't for the squeamish, and there is definitely a good deal of nudity/violence. There is a TON of nudity, and tons of Linday Lohan nudity for fans (though I think in the 3 some that was a body double). But it is so camp, so wrong, so over the top that it reminds me of everything this film is supposed to be.


Jessica Alba turns in a zany great performance that I haven't seen from her in.. well, I'm not sure when, maybe Sin City.

The first few minutes setup what is to come: a wild firefight. Flame throwers. Naked women. Camp humor.

 

An absolute blast.

 

**** / *****

(4/5)

 

[TravisR]

I think if you enjoyed the fake Machete trailer, you'll enjoy the real Machete movie.

 

[SteveGon]

Got a kick out of it! Made me hungry too - I had to hit up the local taco stand (NOT Taco Bell!) on the way home...

 

[PatH]

Most fun I've had at the movies since Inglourious Basterds. And Steven Seagall's best movie since Executive Decision.

 

PatH

 

[Holer]

This movie comes with tongue planted firmly in cheek - The dialog was pretty hilarious and the final confrontation between Machete and Segal was wonderfully absurd. Lots of hot chicks, including the babysitter twins as nurses, but I think Michelle Rodriguez stole the show. Robert Rodriguez has a real knack for old school exploitation.

 

[Robert Crawford]

This thread is now the Official Review Thread for "Machette". Please post all HTF member reviews in this thread.

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Crawdaddy

 

[Robert Crawford]

Like others, I had a blast with this film and totally enjoyed it. Also, loved Segal's performance and the over-the-top humor and violence scored a touchdown for me.
 

 

 

 

Crawdaddy

 

[Patrick Sun]

You pretty much know what you're getting yourself into when you go see a movie called "Machete" and Robert Rodriguez delivers on the machete-wielding violence from Danny Trejo's character "Machete", but seeing Robert Deniro chewing up the scenery along side Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin and Don Johnson, and throw in some eye candy with Jessica Abla and Michele Rodriguez, you got a cult classic in the making. Now, Steven Seagal's hairpiece should have had its own billing because it was almost like another character in the movie, but I digress. Anyhow, the film owns whatever exploitation genre it's shooting for, and delivers.

 

I give it 3 stars or a grade of B (mainly for embracing its genre roots without reservation).

 

[Steve Christou]

We just watched an ultra violent film called... Machete, anyone hear of this one? Mostly unknown actors, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey and Danny Trejo as the title character. There is violence in almost every scene, Machete lops off 4 heads in one spin at one point of the film. The blood and gore is so over the top it's cartoonish and I loved every minute of it. Oh and Alba and Lohan appear completely naked in a couple of scenes. And for some of us that's reason enough to seek this film out. [/url]

 

[dpippel]

That's an awesome poster. I really need to get out and see this film tomorrow. FINALLY.

 

i loved the movie. my only problem was the church slaughter because i'm Catholic. what i saw in that part of an otherwise great movie almost made me walk out. i would've if i didn't have to drive to another city to see it.otherwise great movie. getting it on blu-ray

 

[Chris Brunner]

I think I would have enjoyed this movie a LOT more had my wife not been sitting next to me.

 

I will have to sneak in the BD when it's available for a more relaxed viewing.