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***Official "AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER" Review Thread

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Scott Weinberg, Jul 25, 2002.

  1. Scott Weinberg

    Scott Weinberg Well-Known Member

    Oct 3, 2000
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    Hi guys. First off, I adore the first one (4/5) and like the second one (3.5/5) more than I probably should. With that out of the way, here's my review for Goldmember.
    Goldmember ([​IMG][​IMG] out of 5)
    Sequelitits catches up with Austin Powers in a big way. While the first entry was a surprisingly good time, and the sequel was somehow more entertaining than it probably should have been, the series comes spiraling back to earth with Goldmember.
    A lazy, paint-by-numbers follow-up that takes great pains to include all the fans’ favorite characters (and punchlines) from the earlier films, Goldmember simply lurches along, pushing all the appropriate buttons, yet everyone onscreen seems completely bored with the project by now. Most importantly, it’s simply not very funny.
    After starting the movie out with an unexpectedly clever tweak on Hollywood moviemaking, Goldmember slowly runs out of steam for the next 80-some minutes. In an effort to keep the Powers-faithful from exploding with rage, star (and co-screenwriter) Mike Myers has enlisted all the familiar faces to show up one more time. (What Robert Wagner and Mindy Sterling, two solid participants in the earlier movies, are doing in this film is beyond me. They look as if they were paid to hold the furniture down.) With the ‘casting continuity’ properly squared away, Myers opts to (once again) recycle the best gags from Parts 1 and 2 and invents a few new ways for us to laugh at urine, rear-ends, and flatulence.
    The plot is nearly incomprehensible (as if it matters one whit), but as far as I could glean: Austin (Myers) is still battling the maniacal Dr. Evil (who aims to melt the polar ice caps thereby flooding the world...and is also played by Mike Myers), only this time that pale bald freak has a new ally – a Dutchman named Goldmember (Myers again, the hardest working man in...well, in the Austin Powers flicks, anyway). He has a gold…member. Ironic when you think about it: Myers takes the time to create a new villain, names the movie after him, battles out of court to retain the usage of the moniker…and then the damn character is A) barely used and B) offers not one single laugh. Not one. No kidding. If you thought the addition of the Fat Bastard character (as played by yet another Canadian comedian named Mike Myers) signaled the end of the Austin Powers franchise, wait till you see the stupidity that is Auric Goldmember. With a massive bulge in his crotch and a predilection for eating his own dead skin, the titular character is a gaping black hole in the middle of this tiresome farce.
    Not content to simply add a new villain to this sequel’s ridiculously overcrowded stable of characters, Myers also offers a new femme fatale named Foxxy Cleopatra (the charming Beyonce Knowles) and a previously unmentioned father figure played by Michael Caine. My initial reaction upon hearing that Caine took this role was that of bemused anticipation; after seeing the film, I’m wondering why Caine even bothered. In other words, he (like over half the cast) is given virtually nothing to do. Even the affable Seth Green, generally employed as a breath of delightfully acerbic air in the earlier movies, is totally wasted here.
    Goldmember is all about going-through-the-motions. You can almost see the filmmakers checking off items on their list of Austin Powers ‘requirements’. Gone is the freewheeling playfulness of the original movie; it must be near impossible to maintain that sort of subversive freshness when you’re now responsible for a movie studio’s biggest cash cow. Are there a few laugh-out-loud moments to be found in Goldmember? Sure, but you have to sift through a whole lot of tiresome moments (too numerous to mention), pointless cameos (Nathan Lane?), and self-referential in-jokes that would be a whole lot funnier…if the joke weren’t on the audience.
    While neither International Man of Mystery or The Spy Who Shagged Me could hardly be considered works of filmmaking brilliance, the third entry displays a stunning ineptness at simply telling a story. I realize that the film is meant to be nothing more than a series of comedy set pieces, but the first two entries at least had A-B-C plots that you could follow along with. Without some sort of narrative structure (however flimsy), your ‘story’ becomes a ‘variety show’. Goldmember is a series of indulgent character introductions (and re-introductions – as if anyone seeing this film somehow missed the first two), lazily attempted exposition scenes, and a whole lot of belabored bits. (Fred Savage with a massive mole on his face: funny for about 14 seconds, right? Yet this gag is milked as feverishly as would be the world's last cow.) Every 15 minutes, I found something supremely amusing in Goldmember. Unfortunately, that equals out to about 6 solid laughs spread over 90 minutes; you’ll find more than 6 laughs in the first ten minutes of the first Austin Powers adventure.
    On the other hand, if you think the accident-prone midget Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) represents the pinnacle of American comedy, Goldmember may be your new favorite film. The diminutive guy deserves top billing here. As for Myers, he does strike a handful of solid yuks, but it's plain to see that his heart isn't in it...or maybe he's just exhausted from playing seventeen frantic characters.
    Much like this summer’s Men in Black sequel, Goldmember is rife with threadbare and off-puttingly familiar humor, rehashed concepts (most of which were not all that amazing to begin with), visibly bored performers, and a shockingly shallow devotion to overt product placement. (I counted 6 in the first 25 minutes.)
    Once again, the moviegoing public is essentially punished for making one small movie a massive hit. It’s only logical to assume that a moneymaker like Austin 1 would spawn a sequel (or four), but that doesn’t mean they have to be so damned generic.
    Far from the worst sequel ever made, but surely you have better things to spend 9 bucks on than ‘far from the worst sequel ever made’
  2. Jason Whyte

    Jason Whyte Well-Known Member

    Jun 3, 1999
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    This thread is now the Official Review Thread for "Austin Powers in Goldmember". Please post all HTF member reviews in this thread.

    Any other comments, links to other reviews, or discussion items will be deleted from this thread without warning!

  3. Aaron Garman

    Aaron Garman Well-Known Member

    Oct 23, 2001
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    Hello all. I just viewed this film as well and I found it to be absolutely hilarious. The whole point of these films are not to give us something Oscar worthy or anything, but good old fashioned fun. One of the purposes of comedy is to make the audience laugh, and laugh I did at this film. The whole opening sequence was such a shock to me that I and the people I was with were just rolling in the seats. True, the film is full of toilet humor, but that's one of things one looks forward to in an Austin Powers film. In addition, I felt the acting to be very good in this film with the addition of Michael Caine as Nigel Powers as well as Beyonce Knowles as Foxy Cleopatra. I felt that their contributions to the film were very good. Another element of comedy is the running gag. This time around, we see the use of the "Mole" as a running gag. Every time it came up, I found it hilarious. Finally, I must say that Verne Troyer totally rocks this time around as Mini-Me. Just like in The Spy Who Shagged Me, he steals every scene he is in. Overall, this film was surprisingly a good sequel in a Hollywood that is full of way too many sequels that should have just stayed on paper.

    Aaron Garman
  4. Chuck Mayer

    Chuck Mayer Well-Known Member

    Aug 6, 2001
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    Northern Virginia
    Real Name:
    Chuck Mayer
    I'll keep it short and sweet.
    First Five Minutes of Goldmember: 10/10
    The Rest of Goldmember: 4/10
    Overall: 5/10
    Not terrible, but not terribly funny. I got quite bored, quite fast. A few inspired moments (the beginning, the rap video) save it from being completely mediocre. Scott summed up my feeling on the participants rather well - show up, do your bit, thanks for playing.
    Lame ending.
    But a great opening. And I do mean GREAT!
    Take care,
  5. AJ Johnson

    AJ Johnson Well-Known Member

    Jun 30, 1997
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    The characters gave me consistent laughs throughout the movie but the best laughs did come in the first half hour. It just slowly went downhill from there and I didn't like the ending much. The Goldmember character wasn't funny at all. Every scene he was in he just seemed to drag the movie down. Nothing he said ever made sense so it just wasn't funny to me. Beyonce managed not to annoy me like Heather Graham did so that was a plus. Overall, not a bad way to kill 90 minutes.
  6. Travis D

    Travis D Well-Known Member

    Feb 15, 2001
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    What do you say about the first 5 minutes besides that they are arguably the best of the movie. And you know what. That isn't nessecarily a bad thing. I got more belly laughs out of this one than the last one and got them on a more consistent basis. There really isn't a plot to speak of other than Dr. Evil wants One billion bajillion [...] dollars and in order to get that he threatens to flood the earth by pulling an asteriod made of gold into the polar ice caps thus melting them. Why the asteriod is made of gold, we never know. Why Goldmember is involved, we never really understand. Why it's important that Austin Powers's father is kidnapped, we don't care. This is the worst written of the 3 but it also could quite possibly bethe funniest. ::gasp:: It will take more viewings of Goldmember to attach that title else we be to hasty. The main reason I give for even saying it could be the best (and worst) is from the cameo by the Osbournes. In 30 seconds Ozzy sayes what we've all been thinking throughout the movie. "Boobs. These writers are boobs. They're just using the same fuc*ing joke as they did in the last one." That says it all. Sure they are reused jokes. Frankly the writers and I don't care. They are damn funny when they work and that's what matters. I just wish they could have made the movie a little more coherant. If it had been written better and perhaps even let it go longer than 90 minutes, it most definely would have been he best so far.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] /[​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Best Line: "Hey Assholes!" - Danny DeVito
  7. DanR

    DanR Well-Known Member

    Dec 27, 1998
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    I laughed so hard I was crying. Every character has his/her moments in this film. Sure the movie is making fun of itself. But it is still really funny. Sure, they reuse a lot of the same *types* of jokes, but these are taken to the next level. So they are still funny and even shocking. For example: The radar screen joke was predictably there in the film, but Cmon, they made it funnier. The "behind the screen" shadow joke is in there again, but it is funnier this time around. Heck, they even used some of the really bad jokes from when most of us were kids (you know the "sea men" joke) and all that.

    This whole movie parodies itself, brings in enough new things, and everyone in the theater I was in was laughing hysterically. This movie should do well.

    I give it 3.5/4 stars.

  8. Barry Woodward

    Barry Woodward Well-Known Member

    Jun 22, 2002
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    I give it **** out of ***** stars! It's so funny I literally pissed my pants!
  9. Seth Paxton

    Seth Paxton Well-Known Member

    Nov 5, 1998
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    8.5 of 10 (SPOILER FREE REVIEW)
    This is on par with the previous 2 films except perhaps for one flaw - too many gross jokes. If you thought 2 had more gross jokes than 1, wait till you see this one.
    HOWEVER, I was surprised by the number of twists on the original jokes there were, and even when they retread some ideas they are either still funny or are making fun of themselves.
    The story is a bit jumpier and awkward than 2 even was, but they throw a million gags at you and at least some of them stick. I laughed heartily many times in the film, especially at the film references.
    I am pleased to say that within 2 seconds of the start of the film I got the first reference, but it was still even funnier than I thought it would be. Probably the funniest 5 minutes of the series.
    There are many good film references, my favorite being a prison one based off a series of films including a remake of one that is on its way next year. But the audience didn't laugh as much at that as me. I'm alone in my reference world I guess as I often was laughing just on the setup itself before the joke was even there.
    And to me there were a couple that were a tad too obvious (do you have a little clone in you? - who doesn't know that punchline, yet the audience seemed surprised by it, so go figure).
    Hey, if you don't like Austin Powers, why are you reading this? If you do then you are going to get more of what you enjoyed, but a bit grosser. [​IMG]
  10. Dalton

    Dalton Well-Known Member

    Aug 19, 2001
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    Count me in as one of those who liked this one. Sure it has alot of the same "types" of jokes as the other ones but it is still a pretty entertaining 90 minutes. Like others have mentioned, the first 5 minutes are hilarious. I was completely surprised and laughed my A$# off. I thought it was a worthy member of the Austin Powers series. I give it [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] out of [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] .
  11. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator

    Jun 30, 1999
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    This movie was damn funny! I think most people know what to expect when they go see an Austin Powers movie, and in that respect, Goldmember keeps to that tradition while keeping alive the pure fun of the sight gags which had me ROTLMAMFAO. The opening 5 minutes were definitely very funny (I'm so glad I knew of it), and got the movie off to a good start. The rest of the movie had a very paperthin plot, but no one goes to Austin Power movies for plot, they go for laughs and attitude, and this movie has it in spades.

    I will add that I thought Beyonce Knowles did a nice job, and had good screen presence (was not awkward, and didn't seem out of place at all).

    I give it 3 stars, or a grade of B.
  12. Joseph J.D

    Joseph J.D Well-Known Member

    Dec 4, 2001
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    I thought it was quite funny- and so did the rest of the audience in the theatre with me. It was on par with the other two films in my opinion. 3 stars out of 4.[​IMG]
  13. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator

    Jun 30, 1999
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    Kevin, please move those comments to the Official Discussion thread for this film. Thanks. This thread is for reviews only. Now we return you to the reviews only thread.
  14. Duane Robinson

    Duane Robinson Well-Known Member

    Mar 26, 2001
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    Saw this movie at a sneek peak after work and damn if I didn't love it. After seeing two stinkers in a row with the incredibly crappy Eight Legged Freaks and the promising but non-delivering Reign of Fire I'm glad this movie broke my streak. Those two movies had me wondering why the hell I had spent my money and was sitting in a theater when I normally don't go to the movies but wait for the dvd instead. AP3 had me rolling in the aisles and happy to be there sharing in the belly laughter of everyone in the audience. If you have a good audience when you go see this film you're guaranteed to have a good time if you know what to expect. I highly recommend this movie to any fans of the first two because in my opinion this one is the funniest of the bunch.
  15. RossTerry

    RossTerry Guest

    very funny

    i'd say its on par with the second movie.

    but i think i laughed more at this one.

    come to think of it, it was hilarious.

    it all depends on your sense of humor
  16. Jason Whyte

    Jason Whyte Well-Known Member

    Jun 3, 1999
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    There's a scene in "Austin Powers in Goldmember" that reflects my entire feeling of the film. In a trainwreck of a scene, our beloved Austin Powers makes fun of a character with a mole on his nose. He can't stop making fun of it, and it infuriates not only the character, but his boss standing beside him. The boss keeps making these "shut it" motions to him, and then finally yells "Shut up!" in anger.
    I mention this because "Goldmember" doesn't realize that beating a dead horse is not funny. What's worse, is that nothing in "Goldmember" is funny on purpose OR by accident. It's either heavily scripted and far too timed to take on any relevance of surprise, or a sequence is dragged on forever because it's too scared the audience isn't in on the joke. And there I go again, giving the impression that there was actually anything funny to begin with.
    There's not really much of a plot here. Mike Myers is playing everyone again, from Dr. Evil, to Austin Powers, and now the Dutch Goldmember, who wants to take over the world with a tractor beam which, like his favorite object, is pointed right at a gold asteroid. Also, Goldmember has kidnapped Austin's pappy, Nigel, played by Michael Caine (!), which sends Austin Powers back to 1975, and then meeting up with Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles). And So On.
    I feel like I've explained a plot here, but I feel like I've explained nothing. I just didn't care. I didn't care that Dr. Evil's son Scott (Seth Green) is showing Anakin Skywalker-ish signs of becoming evil. I didn't care about Austin and daddy Nigel's shortcomings. I didn't care that Mini-Me wants to join the good side after having a fallout with Dr. Evil. And So On.
    Speaking of jokes, they try here, but they fail. A subtitles sequence, featuring all-white titles being obscured by light to show dirty words being spoken, is amusing only in how poorly it is set up. In another, we watch as Austin hides in a Sumo Wreslter laundry basket while Sumo diapers are being thrown in, one at a time, on Austin's face, which finishes with Fat Bastard's pair, which, of course, isn't clean. Or how about the numerous musical numbers that just...aren't...funny. And So On.
    Did Jay Roach or Mike Myers even learn anything from the last film? Supporting characters are pretty much dropped (#2's Robert Wagner has roughly four lines in the entire film; Mindy Sterling's Frau Farbissina has mostly supporting screams, even Fat Bastard is reduced to one scene on a toilet), and they've pumped up the celebrity cameos and product placement to the hilt. I won't name the celebrity names to spoil your fun (I will admit I was surprised by one or two of them, but certainly NOT amused), but I'll mention that everyone has Motorola cell phones, drinks Heiniken beer, and (okay, I'm going to spoil one) Steven Spielberg always carries his Oscars with him.
    Mike Myers should really make some new characters in a new series. He has lots of talent, and has no doubt shown it on Saturday Night Live and in many films. Beyonce Knowles (of Destiny's Child), is perfectly wasted, all built up to be a Blaxpoitation Queen, and then placing her beside Austin to look good. And I have yet to discover how the terrific Michael Caine chose to appear in this nonsense. Losing a bet, a huge payout, or signing the wrong contract must have been the reason; whatever the reason, here is his worst performances in years, with no charm or pinache that he normally shows, even in comedies (and I'll be fair, he CAN succeed in bad comedies; I thought he was funny in "Miss Congeniality" against Sandra Bullock and William Shatner). It's Michael Caine in name only.
    "Goldmember" makes me long not just for the old classic comedies of yesteryear that knew what they were doing, but for recent yet not as successful comedies like "Undercover Brother," a spoof film that actually works because it trusted its audience with its smart jokes and its irreverence. And no insulting of moles.
    And So On.....
    Note: I appreciate all the positive feedback that this film has recieved, and I respect all opinions posted here, but I'm sorry, I REALLY think this movie is a pile of doo-doo. I think it's the worst film of 2002 and deserves to bomb, so we can never see another Austin Powers movie again. But if you hate me because of this review, well, that says something about you, doesn't it? [​IMG][/i]
  17. Ronald Epstein

    Ronald Epstein Administrator

    Jul 3, 1997
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    Real Name:
    Ronald Epstein
    I consider myself to be a huge Austin Powers
    fan, mostly due to the second film, which I
    rank as one of my all-time favorite comedies.
    With that being said, I was also somewhat let
    down by Goldmember, though I must admit,
    I was howling in laughter several times throughout.
    The film starts off with a bang, and I pray that
    no-one in this forum ruins it for anyone. The
    opening 10 minutes is the best that the film
    offers, and from thereonin, the film starts to
    lose steam.
    I think the main problem with the film lies in
    the fact that it's getting hard to keep this
    series fresh, mostly due to the fact that most
    of its jokes derive from potty humor. Many of
    the gags that worked so well in the second film
    are simply rehashed here, and as someone else
    mentioned, it's almost like beating a dead horse.
    This is not to say that Goldmember is a
    complete letdown -- it tis not. There are truly
    some gut-wrenching belly laughs to be had throughout
    this film, but alas, they come too far inbetween
    many of the potty jokes that will have your eyes
    Mike Meyers is starting to show some age, resulting
    in a heftier and slightly older looking Austin Powers.
    You can also see the weight gain in the face of
    Dr. Evil. On the other hand, Mini-me is just as
    cute as ever, and he gets a lot of great comic
    screen time here.
    The worst part of this movie is its title character,
    Goldmember, who is a complete and unfunny
    annoyance. Perhaps Meyers should have gone with
    one of his more successful Saturday Night Live
    characters and titled the film, Austin Powers:
    Coffee Talk. Although the villain might have
    started feeling a little veklempt, at least
    it would have been a better villain than this one.
    One of the nice things that Meyers did here was
    make the film more than one dimensional, making
    Goldmember a film within a film, which
    really adds to the film's overall humor.
    I was really hoping for something a little better
    to end the Austin Powers trilogy. It's a shame that
    Goldmember ends on such a flimsy note.
  18. Grady Hollums

    Grady Hollums Well-Known Member

    Oct 24, 1999
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    I really liked the movie, and I thought there were not as many sickening scenes as the second film. I really loved the movie and think it is the best out of the three.

    I do think that this was the last though and that it really summed up the entire series.

    All these let downs when they have been in movies for years. One of the greatest comedy movies of all time had a let down, but it still became a cult hit. (Monty Python And The Holy Grail)

    Goldmember was created to make you laugh, and it did just that for me, the entire movie long.
  19. Romier S

    Romier S Well-Known Member

    Sep 2, 1999
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    I totally agree with almost everything you said. Being myself a BIG Austin Powers fan, I hated this. I laughed maybe twice the whole way through and the rest I found to be an utter bore. I loved the first movie and even liked the second one quite a bit. This one was a huge disappointment for me. [​IMG]
    PS. I agree completely with your assesment of Undercover Brother, a much more enjoyable and funny movie than this.
  20. AndyDL

    AndyDL Well-Known Member

    Jul 10, 2001
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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    What a great addition this movie was to the Austin Powers series.
    Was this Steven Spielberg's first cameo?

    Although I felt like I was the only one who got the Silence of the Lambs references. The theater was quiet during this scene. (???)
    Our theater was SOLD OUT. I noticed more families compared to the previous films. I personally do not believe that the AP films are generally movies kids should see. And there were a lot of kids in the theatre. (Under 13) You would think that they would get maybe half the jokes?
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] /[​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Solid gold[member].

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