Nervous Breakdown... (1 Viewer)

[DeathStar1]

I know how you feel. Sometimes I think of the brain as an entirely separate lifeform just using our bodies and that it occassionally cries to get out. Of course if it does you're dead.
>>>>

Heh, not to bring my sig into this thread, but sometimes I wish I was just a talking brain. You don't have to worry about going to the bathroom, or walking. Or any of the other things I constantly fret about. Just eating and talking. What life could be more simple?

(Pardon my meager attempts at humor to try and lighten my mood )

 

[Gary->dee]

WHAT! How dare you make light of my profound theory! JK

 

[DeathStar1]

Do you have trigger????>>

Just saw this post. Not really. Most of the times it's just dirt that starts my cleaning cumpolsion. For instance, I don't care if I drag sand into the house when I Drive through it on my bike.

I DO care, however, when I drive through a Garbage Puddle(Didn't know what it was untill it was too late to turn), and bring that into the house. When that happened, I had to use those Dove wipes to try and clean the bike off as best I could duringa rain storm. Probably looked crazy, but what the hell...

After I went inside, I took the McDonalds lunch I had in my bike basket and put it on the counter...I Washed my hands, and as I reached for the DVD on the desk top, all of a sudden the garbage smell came back rather strongly. That started the cleaning compulsion inside the house...

That's basically how my stuff starts. Very Real problems taken care of, but then because of strange curcumstances(Smells, unusual wet spots on your clothes in this case possible garbage puddles that you didn't notice before, etc...) it gets me started...

Right now, I'm trying to ignore all the stuff that I think is wrong with the computer desk, and just trying to relax with the anxiety pills I got yesterday. Using logic, and having the window open helps a little bit, but not a whole lot. My goal now is to wait at least 5 hours till the next shower. If I'm wright, nothing can get much worse and it's all dirty anway so I might as well stay. If I'm wrong, a shower and a few Dove wipes will help clean up the desk later.....

It's weird logic, but so far it seems to be working..

 

[DeathStar1]

I just thought of something...

Does thought sleeping help get new thoughts stuck in your head? You know, where you play a record with one word over and over again, and then you only remember or can say that one word when waking up.

Maby this would be a good thing for me.. 'Things are not as dirty as they look'...etc..

 

[DeathStar1]

Just a quick little update..

After two weeks of medications, and some self discipline, I am starting to feel a bit more like myself. I'm at the stage where I just didn't feel like eating much as well. I weigh 225, and I'm getting by by eating just a small bag of french fries, or a few peices of rye bread every 24 hours or so, and I'm still drinking water regularly...

But when I got on the scale, I found out that I had lost about 15 pounds of stomach weight without really realizing it. I know that this isn't the proper way to loose weight(Biking 15 miles a day for months last year didn't do much for me), but for some reason it's also put me in a better mood.

I'm now around 210, and I'm going to try and focus on getting my appettite back up, while keeping the weight I lost off. Hopefully that will be enough of a challenge to distract me from other cleaning thoughts....if only for a little while.

Slowly getting there.....

 

[Steve Tannehill]

Loss of appetite can be a side effect of the medication...it can also be caused by depression. You should check with the doctor who prescribed the meds...an adjustment might be in order.

Best,
Steve