Movie lines that never made it to the screen (1 Viewer)

[Steve Christou]

Here are some movie lines that never made it past the scripts first draft....
Terminator: "Ayll be bock, I haf to feed de meeter"
Terminator 2: "I need your clothes, boots and de modorcycle, oh and do you haf any hats?"
Pulp Fiction: "mmmm now thats what I call a tasty pastry"
The Fly: "I have this urge to jump in your shit"
Rear Window: "Quick! They're doing it!"
Spartacus: "Hey whoa there! You can't all be Spartacus!"
Star Wars: "Use the force Luke, its a real boon"
The Empire Strikes Back: "You were never there for me dad, I hate you!"
Return of the Jedi: "These furballs annoy me too but they taste delicious!"
Apocalypse Now: "Morning troops, whats that smell, napalm you say? I love it!"
Seven Years in Tibet: "Was iz ze zound of vun hand clopping?"
Pearl Harbor: "Oh bugger, the Germans are bombing us"
Gladiator: "I am Maximus Decimus Meridius, you kill my family, prepare to die!"
Basic Instinct: "You don't see beaver like this every day, eh lads?"
Silence of the Lambs: "I ate his liver with some mushy peas and a nice bottle of pop"
Planet of the Apes (1968): "Hang on if thats what I think it is, than this planet is ....oh bollocks!!"

 

[Eric Scott]

I know what you're thinking. Did that mother@#!%er fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your f#!%ing head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel like a lucky mother@#!%er? Well, do ya punk?"
"...Bond, James Bond, but you can call me Jimmy!
"Frankly, my dear. I don't give a damn, because I’ll be too tired before I can get that corset undone!"
"You talkin' to me?" "Cause I don’t understand a goddamn word of German!"
"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart." "Do you love me... Do you love me? ...now that I can dance? ...watch me now!" uh! uh!
"Soap? We ain't got no soap! We don’t need no stinging soap!
Yippie kay-yay, Yippie kay-yo, Yippie kay-yay, Yippie kay-yo, Yippie kay-yay, Yippie kay-yo, Yippie kay-yay, Yippie kay-yo, Yippie kay-yay, Yippie kay-yo, Yippie kay-yay, Yippie kay-yo, Yippie kay-yay mother@#!%er.
"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms." "That’s why Adam wanted all of the apples and the woman!"
"Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool, but I’d stay away from that Kentucky Fried Chicken!
"Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with, with geometric logic, that, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist." "…Ah, and my girlie magazines, all the good pictures were torn out!"
"We rob banks." "To pay our way through college!"
"I am... -Dracula...I bid you welcome." Would you care to join me for a little bite? "
"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" "Or are you going to read me a bedtime story?"
Dr. Evil: "No, Mini-Me, we do not knaw on our kitty, we just stroke him and love him. If you must, eat this fur ball…"
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dave. Astronauts must remain abstinent!"

 

[Mark Shannon]

Heh. Any more?

 

[Max Leung]

"That's no moon! It's some kind of big spaceship with all sorts of evil blokes in it, I wager."

"The force, is, like, this thing, you know?"

"Do not try and bend the stir-stick. That's unpossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth." "What truth?" "There is no stir-stick."

"I think we should get off this rock, go into orbit, and launch a bunch of nukes at it. That will probably work. Whaddya think? Wanna vote?"

 

[Rob Gardiner]

"When you stick your hand in a pile of goo that used to be your best friend's face, you'll need a tissue."

 

[tyler payne]

Pulp Fiction

-"You know what they call a quarter pounder in france?"

"I don't know, do I look French, Moth*****ker?"

-"You still got the Malibu?"

"Man, You know what some a**wipe did to it? He left a flyer asking if I wanted to increase the size of my penis by 3 inches."

-"You read much Brett? There's a passage of a book I got memorized, "I would not could not in a box. I would not could not with a fox. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam-I-Am.""

Bond

-"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to use some "Q" device made just for a situation like this to escape, so you can kill me in the climactic fight scene at the end of the movie."

 

[Jason Pancake]

"No, no, no. You keep saying it all wrong. It's LIGHT SABER not LIFE SABER!" - Obi Wan

"Dude, where's my speeder?" - Luke Skywalker

 

[Scott Merryfield]

"Who's up for a little dwarf tossing?" Dorothy, in The Wizard Of Oz

 

[Scott Merryfield]

"A sled?! A g*d d*mn sled?! I wasted all this time over a f*cking sled?! reporter, in Citzen Kane

 

[Steve Christou]

ELROND: "Welcome to Rivendell, Mister Baggins."

GANDALF: It's good seeing you again, Saruman. I like what

you've done with your hair, how do you keep it so tangle-free?

SARUMAN: Well, Gandalf, I condition when showering, brush it straight while still in the shower, and then condition again. The secret is in the second conditioning.

GANDALF: Brilliant! See, this is why you're obviously the better wizard.

SARUMAN: Actually, it's funny you should say that Gandalf. You see, I'm about to beat the living snot out of you.

GANDALF: Come again?

(Saruman brings out a small card.)

SARUMAN: Ha! I summon Gaea's Skyfolk, a 2/2 with flying.

GANDALF: Hmm. Okay, I'm going to cast a counterspell, which lets me also draw a card. Oh! A Bloodfire Kavu! I summon him.

SARUMAN: You can't do that, you can't summon until your turn, it's still my turn.

GANDALF: No it's not! I just did the counterspell!

SARUMAN: That was an instant! Now I remember why I hate playing with you!

Customised excerpt from the Abridged Script - The Editing Room

 

[Max Leung]

Hehe Magic the Gathering...I love the melodramatic arguments!

"I can do this because it's an interrupt, you can't cast an instant before me!" "But I used a non-tapping artifact's zero mana ability...you can't do anything about that!" "You're wrong, because I slept with your mother!" "What??!!"

 

[Stevan Lay]

There is no spoon. How 'bout some chopsticks instead?

- The Matrix

 

[Steve Christou]

OBI-WAN KENOBI: Hi there.
JANGO FETT: I'm just a simple man trying to make his way in the universe.
OBI-WAN KENOBI: Er, um, that's great. So who are you?
JANGO FETT: This is my clone son Boba Fett. He had a small role in the original trilogy, and ravenous Star Wars fanboys elevated his importance based solely on his cool appearance. But you can take a flying leap up my ass, Jedi scum!

 

[David Brown Eyes]

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE

SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.

A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off

into the ventilation shaft.

Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go

but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know

that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years

old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at

yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out

of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly

destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me

what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of

the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had

exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner

of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right

here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose

you are, but you sure ain't mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the

shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

 

[Tim Glover]

I thought this was a serious question at first but then I read on!
Well at the risk of being serious, one line that I greatly anticipated from the trailer that failed to make the final cut was from The Negotiator
In the trailer, Kevin Spacey says, "Now you have to deal with the both of us"...
Never happened on screen.
Now back to the funny-never made it to screen lines.

 

[MatthewLouwrens]

Actually, before we get back to the funny lines...

I to initially thought this was serious, and the thread title reminded me of a line of dialogue in Fight Club.

After Tyler and Marla have sex, she originally said:

"I want to have your abortion."

Supposedly, the studio was uncomfortable with that line, so a second scene was filmed:

"My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."

This is the line that is in the film today.

Which then prompted executives to express a preference for the original line.