Home Theater rules (1 Viewer)

[Oliver Kopp]

I was going through some old files on my harddrive today and found a thread with Fight Club inspired Hometheaterrules from early last year. The following are the 20 best of them. Enjoy and feel free to add some more

You do not ask to have the volume turned down
You DO NOT ask to have the volume turned down
If you try to take my chair, you HAVE to fight
You DO NOT say "I can't see the difference between DVD and VHS"
You DO NOT discuss the movie during the movie
If you ask about the black bars on the picture, you will be escorted out
Shirts & Shoes stay on. Unless you are female and you are attractive
It is not too hot or too cold, it's perfect
Don't ask if the lights can be turned on
You DO NOT touch the remote, you do not look at the remote, the volume down button does not exist on the remote
You will have all snacks and beverages in hand BEFORE the movie starts
Did you know urine is sterile and you can drink it?
You DO NOT ask why the chairs are all vibrating
You DO NOT talk about the layer change!
You DO NOT ask why you can't record movies on DVD's
You DO NOT ask why Star Wars is not on DVD
You DO NOT ask how much money i've invested in this thing
You DO NOT ask why I have so many DVDs
You DO NOT comment on the side change on LD movies
You DO NOT complain when I have to get up and switch discs for longer LD movies

 

[Dominik Droscher]

hehe, classic

 

[Matthew Chmiel]

I remember that thread... oh, the memories.
Now where's that picture of Ron and Mr. Knapp?

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"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule."
[Edited last by Matthew Chmiel on August 12, 2001 at 04:50 PM]

 

[bryan knott]

My wife read that with me & I said that it must have been written with her in mind.

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[Steve Christou]

You DO NOT touch my DVDs ever.
You DO NOT use my Showgirls DVD as a frisbee.
You DO NOT use my Showgirls DVD as a coaster.
You DO NOT use my Showgirls DVD as an ashtray.
You DO NOT touch my DVDs ever, I mean it!
You DO NOT question why I rewind certain scenes.
You DO NOT question why I freeze-frame certain scenes.
You DO NOT question why I zoom into certain scenes.
You DO NOT question why I'm wearing a toga while watching certain films.
You DO NOT question why I'm naked while watching certain films.
You DO NOT question why I have my tongue in your ear while watching certain films.
You DO NOT smash me over the head with your shoe because of my stupid HT rules.
You DO NOT puff smoke over my unconscious body.
You DO NOT rest your feet over my unconscious body while watching TV.
You DO NOT let the cat sleep on my still dormant body while watching tv.
You DO NOT go to bed and leave me lying there on the carpet.

 

[Ryan Wright]

You DO NOT question why I have my tongue in your ear while watching certain films.

...and another HTF post causes me to laugh out loud. This Monday is getting better already.
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-Ryan (http://www.ryanwright.com )
Ok, I admit it: I set you up the bomb.

 

[MichaelPe]

Now where's that picture of Ron and Mr. Knapp?

Oh yeah...

 

[Sebastian_M]

I remember when that picture was originally posted! That's still really great.
Steve, I think you forgot a few rules regarding your coveted "Showgirls" DVD.

Seb
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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

 

[Kevin Fox]

I suppose it's too late to ask that the original thread be placed in the archive. I couldn't find it in a search. I know a lot of people who weren't members of the HTF then would love to see it now.
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"What is best in life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women..."
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