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Gift for a great woman you don't know too well, but would like to?

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Robert_Z, Apr 13, 2003.

  1. Robert_Z

    Robert_Z Well-Known Member

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    Life has temporarily brought into my life a rather groovy 20-something year old woman. Tuesday is possibly the last time I will see her (we will continue to live in the same town, but the occassions that brought us together will come to an end.)

    She has opened my eyes to quite a few things, and I want to thank her, but I also want to let her know that I would like to continue seeing her after this week. As an interesting side note, she is engaged. Engaged to be married. Bummer.

    I'm not sure what any of this has to do with a gift? Ah yes, I remember. For our "final gathering," I want to give her a thank-you, have-a-nice-life gift. I don't know enough about her to know what she would like. What are some safe gifts that women like to receive, without sending an obvious "I've got a crush on you" vibe? Hmmm, under the circumstances, maybe I should make it obvious?
     
  2. DonRoeber

    DonRoeber Well-Known Member

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    A good book? I like giving books, especially ones that make you think.
     
  3. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Well-Known Member

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  4. DaveF

    DaveF Moderator
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  5. Robert_Z

    Robert_Z Well-Known Member

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  6. Travis Olson

    Travis Olson Well-Known Member

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    I have to agree with Dave. How do you know her fiance wouldn't be really pissed if he found out someone was trying to move in on his chick? All I'm saying is that it's not cool to knowingly try to get someone else's fiance. I would pursue the relationship on friend basis. How would you feel if you were to meet up with her and fiance at some point down the road? I guess I'd feel awkward. I kind of admire you though, you seem confident and that's good thing.
     
  7. RobR

    RobR Well-Known Member

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  8. Joseph DeMartino

    Joseph DeMartino Well-Known Member

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  9. MikeM

    MikeM Well-Known Member

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    Get her a copy of this book and then tell her you've read it cover to cover, and memorized it by heart. [​IMG]
     
  10. Holadem

    Holadem Well-Known Member

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    Meh... lots of bad advice in this thread, we need some balance: Screw the moralistic crap [​IMG].

    When I first read you post I though oh uh... he soo obviously likes her, but won't even acknowledge it... who the hell wants to give a gift to an engaged woman he's met recently? But at least you were honest in your second post. You can't get her if you're not honest about what you want - not necessarely honest to her, but honest yourself. Ambiguity is cool when it serves your purpose, but not when it is with yourself i.e. you don't know what the hell you're doing.

    Remember, everyone has their own agenda. A lot of the guys screaming at the thougth of you talking to an engaged woman are people who are seriously commited and of course somewhat uncomfortable at the thougth of some guy hitting on their woman. My agenda is different. I am single, and if I met a woman I really like, and thougth I had a chance, I would definitly go after her. Half of romantic comedies out there involve people backing off weddings at the last minute, for their "true love". No, I don't live in a fairy tale world. However, I firmly believe that those movies represent a fantasy of following ones heart rather than settling, which I firmly believe is what most people do (settling). Notice I said settling, as in settling for less than you deserve because you are lonely, because it's "time to get married", social pressure, whatever.

    Your agenda is to find the person who is right for you.

    Of course there are some risks involved in such endeavours, you could end up in a plastic bag at the local landfill. Eh... there is no free lunch.

    --
    Holadem
     
  11. Michael Hughes

    Michael Hughes Well-Known Member

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    Since she is engaged, make it a thougtful platonic gift that may resonate with her if she decides the guy she is with now is not good enough becuase he does not get her thoughtful gifts like yours. A personalized music mix of some songs she may like or a well thought out book choice should do the trick.
     
  12. JamieD

    JamieD Well-Known Member

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    I don't think we know enough about you or her to really give advice here. You don't refer to your age. You could be much older, having a midlife crisis. [​IMG]

    There's dozens of reasons why you could be interested in her, including the classic "If you can't have it, you want it" type of thing, which has nothing to do with really being able to sustain a relationship.

    Personally, wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Especially if you don't know much about the fellow involved.
     
  13. DaveF

    DaveF Moderator
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    Robert - You want express your gratitude to her by trying to drive a wedge between her and her to-be husband. You don't normally thank someone by attempting to harm her most important friendship.

    Maybe it will work. People break off engagements. People get married and later regret it. Maybe you're the man she's really looking for. So watch the wedding announcements in the paper. When hers is canceled, then make your move.
     
  14. Lee L

    Lee L Well-Known Member

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  15. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Well-Known Member

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  16. Jeremiah

    Jeremiah Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry but you should not be giving gifts to engaged women that you have a crush on. I don't care if you will regret it, just take the hit and move on with your life b/c you will find someone else down the road that is not engaged to be married. Being engaged to someone is pretty much the same as being married and no single man should be giving gifts to a married women. Period.
     
  17. Cam S

    Cam S Well-Known Member

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    If I were this woman's Fiance, or eve boyfriend, and I found out a guy had given my gf/fiance a gift with ulterior motives, I would be pretty dam pissed. Put yourself in HIS shoes and think about it. A gift is still an option, just make it a SAFE gift that DOESN'T cause any problems.
     
  18. Bill_D

    Bill_D Well-Known Member

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    I am on the "don't do it" side of this discussion because I think it is disrespectful. But, if you feel strongly enough, a "butt-whoopin" might be worth it just to find out if there is a future between the two of you.

     
  19. Matt Gordon

    Matt Gordon Well-Known Member

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    Robert,

    She's engaged. Let her go, man. There will be others.

    Could you trust someone who has "a ring and a date" who dumps or at least cheats on her fiancee for a barely-friend??? You admit you don't even know her well enough to know what she would like.

    Put yourself in his shoes. You could be if you pursue this... after a long time of soul-searching, you ask this girl to marry you, and then some other guy comes along. And it's your turn to get hurt.


    Bill-D,

    I know what you're driving at, but I think that in this instance, we're talking about engagement and marriage being the same in terms of commitment, not "advantages."


    Matt
     
  20. Todd Hochard

    Todd Hochard Well-Known Member

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