Ever wonder what is your purpose in life? (1 Viewer)

[MarkHastings]

This kills me...Why do you think you have to be 'aiding' society (in an obvious way) to fulfill a 'purpose'??? That's the kind of thinking that leads many people into having kids (that otherwise wouldn't). It's this "I have to do something worth while or my life is meaningless" thought. That's crazy!

What about your software? That (obviously) helps someone out...whether it be a specific person or just a corporation, it's helping. Take video game development...do they really benefit society? Not really, but they help reduce stress with those who enjoy playing them. That is definitely helpful for society.

From the Doctors that perform heart surgery to the guy who delivers the cotton balls to that same hospital...they all serve a purpose in making life better.

Sometimes it's the things that we don't think make a difference, that makes the biggest difference.

p.s. I just had a conversation with someone who knew a woman (in her 40's) who would lie to her family about a boyfriend (who she claimed was away on business during the holidays) just so she didn't have to listen to them complain about her being 'single'. People feel that you HAVE to get married and you HAVE to have kids in order to be getting the most out of life. I seriously question that line of thinking. As was stated, that may be natures plan, but if we only follow natures plan, than our own existence is kind of meaningless. It's just a bunch of "instinctive/planned out" moves. That's not what I'm making of MY life. There's more to my time here (or at least I'm going to make more of it) than falling back on what nature expects of me.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Mark, I've said this before, but the only good comeback (note: 99% of the time it only works on guys) to the question "Don't you want to be married?" is:

"Don't you want to be single?"

It shuts them down every time.

 

[Jay H]

Perhaps, in fact, it does without going into boring details.
I am generally a very caring person, would bend over backwards for friends and family and just like to give back, but I guess sometimes I feel I am not doing enough, or that life is unfair.

I am happy that I started this thread, I didn't want to put the main reason I have been thinking about this in my main thread just because I didn't want this to turn into a sympathy thread, but I guess I feel comfortable now to say that two weeks ago, I lost my oldest sister, Stephanie, to an advanced stage of breast cancer which was in remission for about 2 years before doctors detected it had spread to her bones and liver. From then on, it was all downhill til her passing. She was 43 and left behind two wonderful sons. Sometimes life is unfair, but the reality of this is she was in a lot of pain the last year or so of her life, she sheltered as much as she could from me and her immediate family, and her relatives too, but it was obvious the pain she was in. My remaining sisters and I have thought and talked about this for the last two weeks, and trying to get our nephews from internalizing it too much, they are good kids.

Jay

 

[MarkHastings]

LOL - I love the Laura Keitlinger (sp?) bit. When someone asks "When are you going to get married?"

Response: "When are you going to die?....because isn't that the next step?"

 

[Holadem]

It's crazy to want to have meaningful life? Obviously is writing software was enough for the author of the phrase you quoted, he wouldn't be asking. I've written a lot of software and designed a lot of hardware, certainly hasn't made my existence any more meaningful (which doesn't mean it isn't). There was a time when I thought it would.

The things that bring ME the greatest fulfilment are directly (no, not through the proxy of some code I wrote) tied to people. This knowledge is now informing my career choices (phasing out of engineering), long term personal goals (they are crystal clear, getting there is the problem) and ultimately moral values.

Kids, software, Jesus... It should be obvious that such matters are deeply personal, and therefore highly subjective. I am amazed at the number of absolute answers this thread is getting.

--
H

 

[Josh Edens]

I understand what you mean. For example, our computer networks have not saved us from any predator or natural disaster and probably never will. However, they brought about the age of information, which affects our societies and enhances our scientific progress. Both these things may indirectly or directly affect the long-term survivability of our species.

*** Here is the intro to the part of the book that explains the meaning of life.

In the first part of the book I have tried to describe our journey as a species so far. I tried to explain how we have dealt with the adversities that we were born into. How, being individually weak, we were forced to learn about our environment and use it to our advantage and cooperate with each other in order to survive. I have also tried to make a point that everything we’ve done, we’ve done out of necessity and that it was a natural thing for us to do.

In this part of the book I’m going to explain the purpose of our existence. Before I get to that, however, I need to explain the differences between the following phrases:

•“purpose of all existence”
•“purpose of our existence”
•“purpose of life”
•“meaning of life”

For starters, purpose of all existence refers to the purpose of universe’s existence. Since we reside inside the universe and are its product, I don’t see how we can logically discuss its purpose. I’m afraid only God (if there is such a thing) can answer that question.

Instead, let’s talk about something that is within our realm of comprehension, such as the purpose of existence of things within the universe.

First of all, the basic reason for things to exist in the universe is simply to exist. I think it’s fairly obvious and something that everyone should agree with. The tricky question that some people ask themselves is if things exist for a reason, or just to exist - if there is a higher purpose. You might think that we are incapable of logically answering this question; that only God can answer that. That is not the case. You see, things that exist do not just exist, they also affect each other. In other words, they do stuff. So, you can say that things in the universe exist not only to exist, but also to do what they do.

For instance, the purpose of existence of a star is to do what stars do (burn hydrogen, etc). The purpose of the existence of hydrogen is to what it does (be burned by the stars, etc). The purpose of existence of gravity is to do what it does. In other words, the purpose of existence of universe’s basic building blocks is merely to interact with each other. Through those interactions things that can occur do occur, but that’s beside the point.

That covers the phrase “purpose of all existence”. What about the other three phrases “purpose of our existence”, purpose of life”, and “meaning of life”? Well, actually they all mean the same thing. Life derives its meaning from its purpose. Since humanity is a form of life (a “life form”), humanity’s purpose is the same as life’s purpose. In short, our meaning of life comes from our purpose of existence. I realize this may sound a little confusing, so I will use only one of those phrases for the remainder of this book to try to keep the confusion to minimum.

So, what is the purpose of our existence? Obviously, our basic purpose is to exist, or, more appropriately, to survive. Like with everything else in the universe, to determine our true purpose, we have to look at what we actually do. I will get to that, but before I do, I need to spend a few minutes talking about the variety of life on Earth, while also touching the sensitive topic of “origin of life”.

 

[MarkHastings]

No, it's crazy to think you don't have a meaningful life, when you do. Most people either set their expectations too high or look for things they don't need to achieve in order to have meaning in their life.

 

[BrianW]

Jay, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I hope the contents of this thread have helped you to reflect and deal more gracefully with what must be a very difficult time.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Jay, my heart goes out to you and your family. Although this is a time for reflection on life, don't be too hard on yourself. I hope all gets better and the grief you feel now eventually leads to joyful memories of the times you had. If there is any purpose in life, maybe you now have yours in the care and condolence of her sons. I feel she should have no worries, for they are in good hands.

Good luck and God bless.

 

[Chris Lockwood]

> I'm single, no kids, working in software, doing nothing to better society

Sounds like you've bought into the idea that you're worthless if you haven't reproduced.

Does anyone benefit from the software you create? Anyone working any legit job is contributing to society in some way. I assume you are paying taxes on your salary. You also spend money, which benefits others.


> Basically, it’s because nature forces us to study it

I don't follow. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who don't think about this stuff at all.

 

[mylan]

Jay, I am truly sorry for your loss. There are no words from anyone here that can make a difference in what you must be feeling. The fact that you and your sisters are questioning this subject speaks volumes about her character and the lives she touched in this world. Maybe her passing will inspire you to do whatever it is in your heart to leave your legacy. You have a head start already, organizing that ride for charity. My sister-in-law is a breast cancer survivor and walks in a charity event every year. She is active in her church and no doubt her continued faith touches those around her.
I think sometimes one must experience loss to find themselves, my wife lost her father just after high school and by watching as nurses took care of him, decided that that was what she would become. I am biased, of course, but I know that she takes her job seriously and provides the best care she can to her patients. Her care and attention affect the patient and their families and so on and so on, sort of a "pay it forward" kind of thing. I never met her father but I think he would be extremely proud of who she has become.
My earlier response alluded to the fact that my wife and I are childless and, at this point, if we want one, we will have to adopt. We have found an answer to our purpose via a messy divorce that my brother is going through and, as a result, help baby sit his two and a half year old daughter while he is at work. Sometimes we have to seek out our purpose and sometimes things just fall in our laps.
You have gotten your fellow HTF'ers thinking so you have already affected hundreds, hey, its a start. Thank You.

 

[Josh Edens]

Nature provides us with challenges that we must overcome in order to continue to exist. At first it was our predators, then other humans (more advanced civilization could wipe out a more primitive one), now we are faced with diseases, natural disasters (meteor impact/supervolcano), and who knows what it will be in the future (a hostile alien race, etc)? We must understand nature to survive its challenges.

 

[Jay H]

No, I wouldn't say that, but just speaking as a 'societal norm' . I agree with the folks that say that life is not a failure if you do not have kids. I'm sure most people would think that if a man and woman have a child just to be worthy of society, then that is wrong, but perhaps it is just my way of justifying why I have felt so strange thinking about life in general. Why my sister, who left behind 2 great kids whereas me, who doesn't have any. I bet my parents think I'm weird because I am very much in love with the outdoors, between climbing mountains, cycling, kayaking, I don't get a chance to meet a lot of available women that I feel would be compatible and I'm not one to compromise. Would not be fair for the gal if I'm out kayaking to England or so while she stays home, so I remain single and happy. Doesn't mean I'm not interested in finding the right lady. But I kind of feel guilty in some way that nature struck my sister, with such an awful illness, the pain, the mental pain, the stress my sister's family went through, while I'm out enjoying climbing Mt Shasta, Whitney, and Hood out west.

As I stated before, my goal in life has always been to be happy, whatever that means, but lately, my goals of happiness has slightly shifted from exploring the world of nature around me, to perhaps an inner peace and healthy times ahead for all of us, and that include all of you! Stay healthy and get those yearly mammograms, check ups, and physicals. There, there's my public service message for today.

Jay

 

[Lew Crippen]

Jay, I too extend my heartfelt sympathy. And for me, when my younger sister died of a stroke a few short years ago, similar reflection helped me decide to retire.

As has been said by wiser men than me, “no one ever on their death bed said, ‘I wish I’d spent more time in the office’”.

 

[Brad Porter]

It's a side effect of an enlarged cerebral cortex. Consult with your physician before attempting to use your cerebral cortex. Other side effects may include headaches, nausea, and prolonged erections.

Brad

 

[drobbins]

Try this: Imagine yourself on your bed dieing. You are looking back on your life. The things you are glad you did & the things you wish you had done but didn't get to. Also the " If I could only go back and do ____ differently" and what is going to happen next? Once you have done that, then you can set your priorities accordingly.

In my picture, I had family around me. I couldn't think of anything worse than dieing alone. This is why I am married with 2 kids. This also directs my decisions to stay faithful and not ruin a good thing. I also want to look back at all my lives experiences, both the good & bad. I will always remember eating a $200 per plate dinner in a castle in Holland as well as living homeless for one week in the streets of Washington DC after the ATM ate my card. The joys of both our children being born and the life & decisions that I had to make when my son had an aneurism in his brain. I have had good jobs and I almost filed for bankruptcy on unemployment. I have built home theater only to have it flooded 3 months later.
It doesn't matter to me if I am rich, I just want enough money to experience life and to be able to share it with someone else. I want to experience all of life, both the good and some of the bad. I feel the bad times can help make the good times better.

Dave

 

[MarkHastings]

I hate to break it to you, but we all die alone.

 

[andySu]

Oh I discovered that a few years back! My propose my mission was to be a projectionist, I learned a few tricks in that trade and one that allows me to think like a projectionist.

The other purpose is writing, I have written a story a Sci-fi story, that is still incomplete and it looks like it will take a long time to finish.

The last and final purpose is sharing around here and other sites as well.

 

[dany]

You got married and had kids because you dont want to die alone?

 

[JonZ]

"I found out a long time ago (though not as long ago as I wish) that people who search for meaning and purpose from within are far better off than those who search for it on the outside. Inner peace and fulfillment allows us to deal with any "race" we find ourselves in and also allows us to make the best of any bad situation."



"People feel that you HAVE to get married and you HAVE to have kids in order to be getting the most out of life. I seriously question that line of thinking."

I do to.And I get constant pressure from everyone to marry my G/F(except from my G/F who has mentioned it a few times but hasnt put any real pressure on me).

"I couldn't think of anything worse than dieing alone."

Ive also heard this argument as well. When I say I dont want children people ask if I want to grow old alone. Is that a reason to have children????


"She was 43 and left behind two wonderful sons."

My G/F is very well off and doesnt want or need my money. A friend I grew up with who lost his wife to cancer(at 30 years old) has great 2 kids who will inherit my money,split with my brother. Again, not having my own isnt a issue, there will always be someone else I care about who can benefit from my gains after Im gone.


Jay, Im sincerely sorry to hear about your sister. I lost my dad last year to cancer.