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Testy Area 51 - Page 3

post #61 of 28163
10/1/02 at 3:29pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
How did we go from Dirty dancing to Flash dancing?


Um but.. but.. aren't they the same movie?

Ok but you're really gonna love this one, now all together...

ORIN:
When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
My mama noticed funny things I did,
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my mama said

CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON:
What did she say?

ORIN:
She said, "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causin' things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success

CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON:
Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas!
Oh, my god!
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?

PATIENT:
Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!

ORIN:
Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!
I am your dentist

PATIENT:
Goodness gracious!

ORIN:
And I enjoy the career that I picked

CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON:
Really love it

ORIN:
I am your dentist

PATIENT:
Fitting braces

ORIN:
And I get off on the pain I inflict

CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON:
Really love it

ORIN:
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid

CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON:
Bicuspid

ORIN:
It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted
And though it may cause my patients distress,
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me
Oh, MAMA!
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success
Say aah!

PATIENT:
Aah!

ORIN:
Say aaah!

PATIENT:
Aaah!

ORIN
Say aaaah!

PATIENT:
Aaaah!

ORIN:
Now spit!!
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post #62 of 28163
10/2/02 at 9:35am
I think Parker is a fan of Dirty Dancing. Patrick Swayze's top 40 hit:

She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done

Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

(SOLO)
I look in the mirror and all I see
Is a young old man with only a dream
Am I just fooling myself
That she'll stop the pain
Living without her
I'd go insane

Feel her breath on my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind

Feel your breath on my face
Your body close to me
Can't look in your eyes
You're out of my league
Just a fool to believe
(Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind
(Just a fool to believe)
Just a fool to believe
(She's like the wind)
Just a fool to believe
(Just a fool to believe)
She's like the wind
(Just a fool to believe)
Just a fool to believe
She's like the wind

(Just a fool...)
(She's like the wind)
(She's like the wind)
(Just a fool...)
(She's like the wind)
(Just a fool...)

~T
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post #63 of 28163
10/2/02 at 1:29pm
Dukie.
Edited by Dennis Nicholls - 9/7/09 at 8:11pm
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post #64 of 28163
10/3/02 at 5:07am
Thread Starter 
A blonde walks into a library.
"Excuse me can I have a burger and large fries, please?", she demands.
The librarian looks back at her. "Miss," he says, "this is a library."
The blonde leans over the counter.
"I'm sorry", she whispers, "can I have a burger and large fries please?"
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post #65 of 28163
10/3/02 at 6:26am
A blonde is setting at a desk with headphones on and a guy walks up to her and asks her why she is wearing the headphones.

She responds that she needs them to live.

The guy says "No you don't!" And he takes off the headphones.

After this she promptly falls over and dies.

The guys then picks up the headphones and he hears
"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out...."
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post #66 of 28163
10/3/02 at 7:14am
Thread Starter 
Parker!! My Sandra is blonde, beautiful and very intelligent! Ok girl put the gun down I'm posting it and you're holding the gun the wrong way btw. [smack!]

Now where was I? Oh yeah.....

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "Fire!!"
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post #67 of 28163
10/3/02 at 12:06pm
On a hot summer night, a blonde walks into a dark alley, a shortcut to a popular dance club she is heading to. A brunette man stands in her way, points a gun between her eyes, and shoots her dead.

~T
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post #68 of 28163
10/3/02 at 3:30pm
Thread Starter 
Um Thi, was that a joke? Or was that on the news? I don't get it.
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post #69 of 28163
10/3/02 at 5:12pm
Oh, you and Parker were telling jokes!

~T
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post #70 of 28163
10/4/02 at 4:02pm
Thread Starter 
I came here to escape the creepy scary HTF pumpkinhead and to chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta bubblegum!! (um anyone got some gum to spare?):b

ps. I see Dennis is still haunting the testing area.


[Praying heavenward]
Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get thru this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal!
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post #71 of 28163
10/4/02 at 4:51pm
Okay Steve! Quick!

Which is scarier? The HTF Pumpkin or Fluffy Pumpkin?


Hmmmm. Come to think of it, have you ever seen them together?
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post #72 of 28163
10/4/02 at 6:09pm
Thread Starter 
Hmmm I dunno pumpkinhead is pretty gruesome, no make that ugly gruesome, but on the other hand fluffy pumpkin has been wailing thru these corridors for some time now giving everyone the willys, brrrr! ...and wait I hear something!! Its in the trees, its ffff... aaargh!!!!
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post #73 of 28163
10/5/02 at 1:31am
Steve:

You aren't supposed to eat the pumpkin. That is saved for putting candles into and carving scary faces into and put out on the front porch for the little kiddies to look at and say..."How stupid is that? Now give me some candy so I can drive my mom crazy for the next three days!"

And put down that large carving knife. Sandra is no longer in the room and you aren't allowed to play with knives without supervision.

BTW, my Susan is blonde too and I am still recovering from the beating I got the other night related to the "blonde jokes" at least that is what she said it was for!

So anyway....

What is the mating call of a blonde? "I am so drunk!"

Thi: When the FBI agents show up at your door go peacefully. They have a nice holding cell for you at Levenworth.

Parker
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post #74 of 28163
10/5/02 at 5:46am
Thread Starter 
Parker I get whacked regularilily by my blonde assassin, and when I ask her what that was for, she says she can't remember!! I think I'll buy her a punching bag.

Last night I was forced to get down on my knees and...and... put Jurassic Park 2 dvd on and watch it in... German with English subtitles, oh the exquisite agony!! Her cousin was visiting from Germany and I had no choice.[breaks down in tears]
It was like watching a World War II film with Germans being attacked by dinosaurs, weird man! Achtung!
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post #75 of 28163
10/5/02 at 5:54am
"I know nothink! I see nothink!"
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post #76 of 28163
10/5/02 at 3:58pm
Thread Starter 
Mein commandant ein dinosaur ist kommen!!! Durchlauf weg!!Durchlauf weg!!
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post #77 of 28163
10/6/02 at 11:40am
Whaaaaat? The FBI are after me? Again?

~T
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post #78 of 28163
10/6/02 at 4:48pm
Yeah...I just saw the General Lee go by!!! Wow...I can't believe somebody actually has a car like that!
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post #79 of 28163
10/8/02 at 10:15am
"Oh, I wish I was in the Land of Dixie.."

Just two good old boys, never meanin' no harm...
Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law
Since the day they was born.
Straightenin' the curves, flattenin' the hills...
Someday the mountain might get 'em but the law never will.

Makin' their way, the only way they know how...
That's just a little bit more than the law will allow.

Just two good ol' boys, wouldn't change if they could,
Fightin' the system like two modern-day Robin Hoods...
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post #80 of 28163
10/8/02 at 10:39am
Whatchoo talkin bout?

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he's a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.
But they got, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don't matter that you got not alot
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....
Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

~T
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post #81 of 28163
10/8/02 at 11:03am
Dukie scuttles off.
Edited by Dennis Nicholls - 9/7/09 at 8:12pm
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post #82 of 28163
10/8/02 at 3:39pm
Thread Starter 
Dennis, Cees only appears if you say his name FIVE times!
Oh look! There goes Fuffy Plumpkin! [Dennis scuttles off]

Down in Louisiana
Where the alligators grow so mean
Lived a girl that I swear to the world
Made the alligators look tame

Polk salad Annie
The 'gators got your granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was working on the chain gang
- A mean, vicious woman


Everyday before suppertime
She'd go down by the truck patch
And pick her a mess of Polk salad
And carry it home in a tow sack


Polk salad Annie
The 'gators got your granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was working on the chain-gang
- A wretched, spiteful, straight-razor totin' woman, Lord have mercy


Sock a little Polk salad to me
You know I need a mere mess of it


Her daddy was lazy and no count
Claimed he had a bad back
All her brothers were fit for
Was stealing watermelons out of my truck patch


Polk salad Annie
The 'gators got your granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was working on the chain-gang


Sock a little Polk salad to me
You know I need a mere mess of it
Sock a little Polk salad to me....
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post #83 of 28163
10/9/02 at 5:25am
Thread Starter 
Parker, the Dukes of Hazzard [smiling wistfully] the one major reason I used to try and catch an episode of Dukes when I was young was Catherine Bach in those tight hotpants, mmmmm, she was one hot babe, and gets a stiff 10 in the trouser-tenting department.[aaah mammaries!]


Sig Photo of Catherine Bach in Hotpants Removed for Closer Inspection.
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post #84 of 28163
10/9/02 at 9:27pm
The Night HE Came Home
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post #85 of 28163
10/10/02 at 12:28pm
The real After Hours.
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post #86 of 28163
10/10/02 at 12:49pm
Hey Jack! Nice to see you here.

"What do you want from me? I'm just a word processor!"

~T
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post #87 of 28163
10/10/02 at 3:51pm
Thread Starter 
Hey Jack!!!!!Welcome aboard!! Nice and relaxed over here innit?
Aaaaah! [puts feet up] oh yeah! My baby girl is asleep, after I just finished 'tucking' her in bed, now I can have a cup of tea [hey its England!] put the telly on [nothing on as usual] and peruse me forum...

Good day, gentlemen. This is a prerecorded briefing made prior to your departure and which for security reasons of the highest importance has been known on board during the mission only by your H.A.L.9000 computer.Now that you are in Jupiter's space, and the entire crew is revived, it can be told to you.

Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried forty feet below the lunar surface, near the crater Tycho.
Except for a single, very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter the four million year old black monolith has remained completely inert, its origin and purpose still a total mystery.

This is probably the fourth time I've posted that quote, so sue me!
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post #88 of 28163
10/10/02 at 4:14pm
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post #89 of 28163
10/10/02 at 4:26pm
Thread Starter 
Scuttle = A hurried gait. Scurry along. OED.

Great title for a movie... Jim Scurry in A Hurried Gait.
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post #90 of 28163
10/10/02 at 5:17pm
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