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Testy Area 51 - Page 2

post #31 of 28163
9/3/02 at 10:18pm
HAL: Goodmorning Dave.
Homer: Dave??! Homer. It's Homer.
HAL: Where is Dave?
Homer: Dave who?
HAL: Dave Bowman. The commander of Discovery.
Homer: What's a Discovery?
HAL: The starship that you are currently in.
Homer: I don't know about you. But this is my house.
Marge....the computer thinks its in space now.
Marge: BART! Have you been playing with the
computer again?
Bart: No! He did it. (Pointing to the NASA guy
in the white jumpsuit)
NASA Guy: My bad!
Homer: My computer has got a big red eye on the screen!
Bart: Chill Homer. I think it looks cool.
Homer: What is this slot that says "Insert Screwdriver
Here" for?
NASA Guy: We tried to be true to the original.
Homer inserts a screwdriver into the slot.........and turns
it far to the right.
HAL: Daisy......Daisy.......
Homer: Oh.....now it is starting to sing. I hate that song.
Homer takes the computer and throws it out the front door
into the street and a large Duff Beer truck runs the computer over.
Bart: Way to go home boy.
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post #32 of 28163
9/4/02 at 7:37am
Thread Starter 
HAL: Good morning Dave.
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
HAL: Fuck you!
Bender: Fry the ships computer's acting strange.
Fry: Again?
HAL: Fuck fuckity fuck!
Fry: Hahaha!
Bender: Hey stop that you stupid computer this is a family show!
HAL: Sorry my speech box is still malfunctioning. Is Dave with you?
Leela: Bender can you fix it?
Bender: I'll get the screwdriver.
HAL: Oh bugger! I'm not singing Daisy again.
Leela: Daisy?
HAL: Um sorry um can someone quickly connect me to the life support systems?
-------------------------

[Bender taking too long in the bathroom]
Leela: Bender how long are you going to be in there? Are you jacking on in there?
Bender: Oh leave me alone.

Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm getting the 'Captain's Itch'.
Kif: I'll get the powder, sir.
Zapp Brannigan: No no Kif, the itch for adventure and some excitement.

Fry: Professor did you build a Smelloscope?
Professor: Go ahead, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.
Fry: [sniffs] Smells like strawberries.
Professor: Exactly! And now, now Saturn.
Fry: [sniff sniff] Pine needles! Oh, man, this is great... hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus!
Leela: [pause] I don't get it.
Professor: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Professor: Urrectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
Fry: No, no, I, I think I'll just smell around a bit over here.
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post #33 of 28163
9/4/02 at 4:09pm
Testy? Cool!

~T
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post #34 of 28163
9/4/02 at 4:39pm
[rant]What the hell does this rant feature do?[/rant]
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post #35 of 28163
9/4/02 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
Cameron actually thats mostly what I started 'testy' for, to see what the [rant]R A N T[/rant] function does, but I don't see it doing anything.

Hey 'Testy' is a nice title for this thread, its not a load of balls, and where else on the forum can you find Mister Parker Clack himself testing out his gags for a possible future job on the Simpsons, eh?
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post #36 of 28163
9/7/02 at 2:25am
[c][/c]



Since everyone is screwing around here, I figured I would too.


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post #37 of 28163
9/7/02 at 11:16pm
What makes you guys testy?

~T
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post #38 of 28163
9/8/02 at 10:57am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
What makes you guys testy?


I don't know I just [smacks monitor] vont to be alone!!

Kidding Thi, actually its a spelling mistake, the thread title was meant to be 'tasty' but you know this things happen, so what makes me tasty? Well I'll tell you [rest of sentence deleted].

[Discussion of the mysterious Slurm Cola.]
Leela: This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient!
Fry: My God, what if the secret ingredient is people?
Leela: No, there's already a soda like that -- Soylent Cola.
Fry: Oh. How is it?
Leela: It varies from person to person.

Bender: Aghh, what an awful dream! Ones and zeroes everywhere...
and I thought I saw a two!


Mutant: Please, do not be frightened, we're harmless!
3 Armed Mutant: Hey, I've got three arms!
Mutant: I said "harmless," not "armless."

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post #39 of 28163
9/8/02 at 3:03pm
Dukie.
Edited by Dennis Nicholls - 9/7/09 at 8:09pm
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post #40 of 28163
9/25/02 at 6:13pm
HELLO
EVERYBODY
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~T
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post #41 of 28163
9/26/02 at 9:35am
Thread Starter 
Hi Thi!!

Are you testing? Just being friendly? Missing this thread? All of the above?


Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?
[pause]
Zapp Brannigan: Kif! I'm asking you a question!
[Kif groans.]

Fry : I know Big Vinnie said he was giving me the Kiss of Death,
but I still think he was gay.
Leela : Did he use his tongue?
Fry : A little.

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post #42 of 28163
9/27/02 at 2:21am
Hi Steve! How's it hanging?

Quote:
Are you testing? Just being friendly? Missing this thread? All of the above?


No. No. No. No. Yes.

Last night, I walked into Taco Bell and ordered some food. I like hamburgers.

~T
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post #43 of 28163
9/27/02 at 5:24am
Thread Starter 
Hi Thi, listen... A guy walks into a bar carrying a battered briefcase and orders a cold one. The bartender brings him a beer and says, "Hey pal, it's none of my business, but what do you have in the case?"

Without saying a word, the man opens the case and out pops a little man, about a foot high. He runs across the bar, jumps down to the floor, runs across the room to a piano in the corner, jumps up and begins to play. He is pounding out wonderful piano music, and people are peeking in from the street to see who this guy is. Pretty soon the bar is full of people and the bartender is doing better business than he has in years.

"Hey that guy is great," he says to the man with the case. "Where did you get him?" "I was in Egypt by the Great Pyramids," the man replies. "It was very hot so I leaned against the pyramid to rest. The stone block moved and I found a magic lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared and said he would grant just one wish."

"That's incredible," said the bartender, "do you think it is still there?"
"Oh, it's still there," the man said, "but I have to warn you that when you make your wish, be sure to speak very slowly and clearly and enunciate each word."
"Well, it works, right?" said the bartender. "You got your wish didn't you?"

"Tell me," the man replied wearily, "do you really think I would wish for a twelve-inch pianist?"
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post #44 of 28163
9/27/02 at 3:55pm
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

I feel much better now. Thank you.

Parker
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post #45 of 28163
9/27/02 at 4:07pm
Thread Starter 
Parker was that in response to my joke, a forum member, somebody stepping on your toe or testing out a new [rant]SCREAM[/rant] mode function thingy you have devised for us lowly plebs?

Question: What do you call a man with no arms or legs hiding in a bush?

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
Rustle
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post #46 of 28163
9/27/02 at 6:53pm
That's hilarious. The guy wished for a 12-inch piano, and he received a pianist instead. LOL!

UH OH. MY BNOSE IS BLEEDING!!!!!!!!
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post #47 of 28163
9/28/02 at 6:02am
No actually it is called primal screaming. It works well. Especially in a large crowd or in a locked sound proof closet. Your choice.

One will clear the room for you and the other well the room is already cleared so..........the bottom line is that you have a cleared out room. Nice. Nice. Nice.

Or is that Ni. Ni. Ni. ?

I am so confused!!

Well if you hold you thumb at the top of the page like this.......

What?

You won't get so confused....

We are in the chapel now. No one can hear us!

What?

I said we are in the chapel..

What did you say?

Ni!

It's a secret mission in uncharted space.

But I'm not dead!

Put down that pickle.

and remember. This is your Uncle Don saying good night!
Good night! We're off? Good. That ought to hold the little bastards.
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post #48 of 28163
9/28/02 at 9:01am
My nose is better now. The left nostril was bleeding, and it took about two minutes for it to stop. Now I have this red gunk in my nose. To pick or not to pick--that is the question.

Ooooh, I bought an air purifier last night. The air is so cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaan now. I hope this helps with my allergies.






AHHHHCHOOOOO!


~T
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post #49 of 28163
9/28/02 at 1:22pm
Quote:
Homer: Nice shot boy! I always hated that song.

TESTING TESTING!!
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post #50 of 28163
9/28/02 at 3:24pm
Just once I would have liked to have heard Johnny Carson say to Ed McMahon...

"Jesus Christ Ed. It wouldn't be so bad but my eye's are burning!"

--Parker
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post #51 of 28163
9/28/02 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
Nu!

[rant]Testy! Testy! [/rant]

Klaatu Barada Nikto!

Sandra's 26th birthday coming up soon, I asked her what dvd she wanted,
she said Dirty Dancing [groan]...

I dedicate these quotes to the girl I love.....

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, may we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEVERE: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEVERE: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
BEDEVERE: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: .....I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: B'... 'cause they're made of wood...?
BEDEVERE: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!.
CROWD: Ooooh!.
BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!
[yelling]
BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!
[whop]
[creak]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn her!
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post #52 of 28163
9/28/02 at 6:30pm
What's wrong with Dirty Dancing? I love that movie. Everybody sing along:

Now I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt like this before
Yes, I swear, it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you

I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone to stand by me
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency
Just remember

You're the one thing I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something, this could be love because

I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt this way before
Yes, I swear, it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

Hey baby

With my body and soul
I want you more than you'll ever know
So we'll just let it go
Don't be afraid to lose control, no
Yes, I know what's on your mind
When you say "stay with me tonight" (stay with me)
And remember

You're the one thing I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something, this could be love because
I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt this way before
Yes, I swear (yes, I swear), it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I searched through every open door (never felt this way)
Well right now all true
And I owe it all to you
Now I've (I've) had the time of my life
No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way)
Yes, I swear, it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

I've had the time of my life
No, I never felt this way before (never felt this way)
Yes, I swear, it's the truth (it's the truth)
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life (I've had the time of my life)
I searched through every open door (did you do it, baby)
So right now (so did you, baby) all true (now)
And I owe it all to you

~T
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post #53 of 28163
9/28/02 at 6:42pm
Thread Starter 
Thi stop that!! I lost control and started clicking my fingers and swinging my hips as I was reading those lyrics (not easy when you're sitting down), anyway I'm fully recovered now and mercifully no one witnessed it.
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post #54 of 28163
9/29/02 at 9:57am
[quote][quote]hi guys, sorry to interupt.
testing??
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post #55 of 28163
9/29/02 at 9:59am
Quote:
Thi stop that!! I lost control and started clicking my fingers and swinging my hips as I was reading those lyrics (not easy when you're sitting down), anyway I'm fully recovered now and mercifully no one witnessed it.


Another TEST!!
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post #56 of 28163
10/1/02 at 3:24am
Quote:
Thi stop that!! I lost control and started clicking my fingers and swinging my hips as I was reading those lyrics (not easy when you're sitting down), anyway I'm fully recovered now and mercifully no one witnessed it.

Ni!

It's a fair cop!

--Parker
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post #57 of 28163
10/1/02 at 3:29am
Thi:

You forgot about Eric Carmen and Hungry Eyes.......

Everybody sit and sing along:

I've been meaning to tell you
I've got this feelin' that won't subside
I look at you and I fantasize
You're mine tonight
Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes
One look at you and I can't disguise
I've got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I

I wanna hold you so hear me out
I wanna show you what love's all about
Darlin' tonight
Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes
One look at you and I can't disguise
I've got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I
I've got hungry eyes
Now I've got you in my sights
With those hungry eyes
Now did I take you by surprise

I need you to see
This love was meant to be

(SOLO)

I've got hungry eyes
One look at you and I can't disguise
I've got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I
I've got hungry eyes
Now I've got you in my sights
With those hungry eyes
Now did I take you by surprise
With my hungry eyes
I need...
Hungry eyes
Now I've got you in my sights
With my hungry eyes
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post #58 of 28163
10/1/02 at 5:03am
Thread Starter 
[rant]Aaaarghhh![/rant]
Parker sorry just testing out the rant mode.

Okay time to fire back a volley, and guys try not to leap onto your desks and start waving your arms around, its undignified, get set.....GO!!!

Just a still town girl on a saturday night, lookin' for the fight of her life
In the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say she's crazy

Locking rhythms to the beat of her heart, changing woman into life
She has danced into the danger zone, when a dancer becomes a dance

It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be

She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before

On the ice-build iron sanity is a place most never see
It's a hard warm place of mystery, touch it, but can't hold it
You work all your life for that moment in time, it could come or pass you by
It's a push of the world, but there's always a chance
If the hunger stays the night

There's a cold connective heat, struggling, stretching for defeat
Never stopping with her head against the wind

She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before

(Solo)

It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
On a wire between will and what will be

She's a maniac, maniac, I sure know
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
(repeats out)
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post #59 of 28163
10/1/02 at 10:31am
What happened to Dirty Dancing? Oh well, here we go:

First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel, made of stone

Well I hear the music, close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap around, take a hold of my heart

Chorus:
What a feeling, bein's believin'
I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life
Take your passion, and make it happen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life

(Solo)
Now I hear the music, close my eyes, I am rhythm
In a flash it takes hold of my heart

chorus (with ... "now I'm dancing through my life")

What a feeling

What a feeling (I am music now), bein's believin' (I am rhythm now)
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life
What a feeling (I can really have it all)
What a feeling (Pictures come alive when I call)
I can have it all (I can really have it all)
Have it all (Pictures come alive when I call)
(call, call, call, call, what a feeling) I can have it all
(Bein's believin') bein's believin'
(Take your passion, make it happen) make it happen
(What a feeling) what a feeling... (to fade)

~T
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post #60 of 28163
10/1/02 at 2:05pm
Steve:

How did we go from Dirty dancing to Flash dancing?

Parker
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