Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

In the situtation that you described I don't see any problems asking her out.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Most businesses that I know of frown on inter-office dating, but I'd do something anyway. I'd approach her when she isn't with a customer and ask if you could talk to her privately sometime like at lunch or before/after work. She'll get the idea of what it's about and either agree to an off-site meeting or give you the dreaded "sorry, I'm seeing someone else" or "I don't think it's a good idea to see someone I work with".

In any event, if you feel that strongly about her then please do something. We all have stories about the one that got away. Trust me. It's better to get turned down today, no matter how much it hurts or how embarrassed you may feel, then to spend the rest of your life wondering why you didn't do something when you had the opportunity. And the longer you wait, the harder it will be.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Okay I just want to clarify something: do you work at the same place as her or not? By your post it doesn't seem so.

I'm going to assume you don't work with her. In which case there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking her out since her workplace is the only place you seem to run into her. The only thing I would caution is to be respectful that she is on the clock, and so do not interfere when she is helping customers, and even if she isn't busy, don't take up too much of her work time otherwise her supervisor is liable to notice and she won't remember you as the guy who wanted to ask her out, but the guy who got her in trouble at work.

When she's not busy, just lightly chat her up and ask if she has a break/lunch coming up and if you could get her a cup of coffee or take her to a nearby restaurant for lunch. Or approach her towards the end of the work day and ask if she'd like to join you for something after she gets off of work. Then you can work your charms on her without risking her employment.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

I think I caused the confusion. For some reason I thought they did work together but after reading the post again it's quite apparent that they don't. Sorry for causing the misunderstanding .

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Reminds me of a wonderful piece of my history, maybe this will inspire you.

She was a bank teller. Really pretty, quite thin, with an exceptional upper torso. This was before the medically enhanced figure was common.

Anyway, the line to her position in the bank was always the longest for obvious reasons.
I was always happy to wait in it and never did more than smile and say hello.
One day, she said something, quite out of the blue, "I'm leaving my husband."

Moments like that will stick with you.

She was remarkable in many ways.

As to your deal, and the realities of life in 2009, how about giving her your card and asking her to call?

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

In what seems like another lifetime ago, I went on a ski trip with a bunch of friends and we all stayed in the same cabin. I car-pooled to the resort with a male friend. On the way, we stopped at a view point to take pictures. A girl there offered to take our picture. I thought "she's cute."

Later on I saw her in a lift line and said hello. This time, I thought "I like her." Then I saw her parking her car near where our cabin was. Still, I've taken no action. I was never good at asking the question.

One morning I got up before everyone else, and wrote her a note, wrapped it in cellophane (to protect it from the elements) and put it under her windshield wiper. She wrote me a letter. It turned out she lived a 100 miles from me, but we began a long distance relationship. She did not become the love of my life, but at least I tried.

So, why not write this girl a note? You can take your time to compose your thoughts. Be truthful, be direct, be sincere. If she's not interested, well, you tried...but if she is...

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

I wouldn't actually make the date there at the pharmacy counter. If I wanted to make a date with someone under those circumstances, I'd say something like, "Can I call you sometime? Maybe we can have coffee or a drink?" and try to get her phone number.

Your problem isn't the location. Your problem is that you haven't spoken to the girl. Even in a bar or at a cocktail party you'd spend some time just chatting with a woman, which would let you know if you have anything in common and if there's any reason to move on to a date. (It would also let you know if she is married or seeing someone, which can be very useful information in a situation like this.)

You've seen a pretty girl. You've never spoken to her. You know nothing about her. (Nor she you.) It is hard to get from there to asking for a date. Might seem creepy coming from someone she's never met.

Maybe you can go to the pharmacy counter and ask a question or two about an over-the-counter medication. If you don't take any prescription drugs yourself, ask about something a friend or relative takes. ("My mom is on Diovin for high blood pressure. Are these cold pills OK for her?") See if she's wearing a ring. (Not the lack of one necessarily means anything.) On another trip buy something over-the-counter and just pay for it there. (There's no law that says you have to be picking up a prescription to pay there.) See if she asks about your mother's high blood pressure. (If she does, she's noticed and remembered you.)

The point is you have to somehow break the ice and establish some kind of connection with her before you ask her out on a date.

Regards,

Joe

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

You are allowed to ask pharmacists questions, they are usually happy to answer. Just don't ask anything gross like "I have this rash..." Anyway your chances of her trusting you enough to say "yes" will improve if you build some kind of rapport with her. Don't stalk her but don't hold back your interest in her either. Keep eye contact, smile, ask her questions about herself, tastefully compliment her.

Many years ago I had a crush on the video rental store checkout girl. I talked to her and eventually asked her out. Unfortunately she said she had a boyfriend. But at least I found out rather than torturing myself wondering if she would go out with me!

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

I work retail. In the last 7 years I have seen hundreds of guys hit on and ask out the female employees. I've seen it work once, and that was after months of sending flowers to the store, coming in daily, and following around a female employee in her mid 30's with 2 kids an STD and a list of exboyfriends a mile long. If only we could have warned him...

Anyways, good luck. Here's hopeing you dont get tagged as "the creepy guy" by the employees at your local supermarket.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

I dated this woman in college who was quite attractive and she used to tell me how annoyed she used to get when she was a cashier at K-Mart because practically EVERY guy asked her out.

I guess being that she was friendly and was forced to talk to them, they thought of it as an opening to asking her out.

What's the point of this? Just to caution you that if she's fairly attractive, she probably gets hit on to the point where she'll be 'on-guard' toward any advances. Hell, she may even find you attractive, but if she gets hit on a lot, her immediate reaction might be to say no, just because of the history.

But as far as whether you think it's appropriate to ask her out? Sure it's fine....as long as you can handle the rejection (if she does). The last thing you'd want is to create an awkward moment and then have to keep seeing her (because of the fact that she works at a place you frequent).

One other thing, I also dated a woman who worked as a pharmacy tech and her mind was always on her work because it was so important. If you're going to ask her out, make sure she's not too busy. I'd actually try to start a basic conversation up first to see how she reacts to it (i.e. if she blows you off, then you know she's too wrapped up in her work to ask her out).

Ask her out only after she's in a more relaxed state because she might be too busy concentrating on other scripts to be able to answer you properly and may just blow you off.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

One thing that always works with the pharmacy girls is to ask them where the magnum extra large prophylactics are.

I kid of course.

But just go and talk to her, there's been tons of times where I wish I did and didn't. Take the shot.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

The best experience I ever had in college on any date was one that happened spontaneously. A waitress was getting harrassed at a Denny's by some drunk students, I walked over and said "this is b-s- you need to treat people better then this." She came over afterwards, thanked me.. I invited her to come and eat after her shift ended, and we hung out at Denny's for an hour. Turned into one of the better nights of my college experience

Of course, I doubt you'll find a chance to fend her off from unruly customers, but damn..

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Is anyone else thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Get a buddy to act the part of the unruly customer, kick his ass and save the day, ride off into the sunset with the girl.

Heck, it would work in a sitcom.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Apparently you've never seen the ruckus when there's an issue with an old persons prescription. Some of them old ladies can be ornery.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

It worked in the movie Enough. He scored Jennifer Lopez.

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Yes, my thoughts exactly.

(But not to be put in practice, of course.)


Cees

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

That wouldn't have worked for me in my day. With the kind of "friends" I had, they would have taken one look at her, kicked my ass for real and left me bleeding in the gutter while they ran off in the sunset .

Re: Asking someone out at their work, appropriate?

Flattery, compliments and an interest in her are what will rule the day. You don't have to ask her out right away. Start with a compliment on each visit. Ask open-ended questions about things that might tell you more about her (like a specific piece of jewelry, where she was educated as a pharmacist, How she can stay on her feet all day and keep such a plesant demeanor, etc)

Once you've learned more about her you have earned the right to say something like "Of all my friends I think I am the only one who looks forward to coming to the pharmacy to the point it is the highlight of my day - and it is simply because I know I'll see you here. I was thinking that if coming here and seeing you is so good, then seeing you over dinner would be magnificent. Would you do me the pleasure?"

I can assure you that she will not turn, run and scream "creepy!!!!" At that point she will say either yes or no. If it is no then smile, make light of it and move on. If it is yes then take her someplace casual... THEN you can ask her about where they keep the magnum condoms...