Re: *** Official STAR TREK (2009) Review Thread
Wow!Now, how much did they spend making this thing, again? I wasn't expecting much. I never expect much from Star Trek-movies, but this one is extra-vacuous.
It's signficant that the local big-time professional reviewer, who gave an overwhelmingly favorable review to this film, basically reviewed the characters, and not the film.
Notable for me:
(a) The forced impersonations: Neither of the two leads comes across particularly well, in my opinion, but Mr. Quinto, in particular, who has the much harder row to hoe, sounds like a shadow of Spock. (Not "young, conflicted Spock", but "Spock lite"!)
"Bones" McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a _________, dammit!" Good one, but what else you got? (Kirk (Pine): "That pointy-eared bastard!"; Bones (Urban): "I like 'im!"; oh, yeah, role-reversal; it's so funny I forgot to laugh.)
Engineer Scotty, jollier than ever, has everything but a good bottle of Scotch whiskey.
No-name---er, Nyota--- Uhura. Do we know anything more of her than from the tv series by the end of this film???
Pavel Andreievich Chekov: Is Mr. Yelchin trying to do a parody of an actor doing a parody of an actor doing a Russian accent? If so, he succeeds admirably.
("Say 'wessel'." "No!"
"Say 'wessel'." "No!"
"'Wess-ssel'." "N-n-no!")
Hikaru Sulu, Ninja flips and all, "never leaves home without" his trusty 17th-century ancestral weapon, it seems.
(b) The obligatory referentiality to and echo-dialog cribbed (scraped???) from almost everything under the sun in the TOS-universe
(Delta Vega, green Orion-slave-girls-gone-wild, Wrath-of-Khan-itis (centurion bugs for Ceti eels, one 2-dimensional wife-avenging villain for another, etc., etc., etc.) [yawn]
(c) ST's all too usual "It's just a movie!"-eyewinking and big-screen name-dropping: Is Mr. Tyler Perry there to make sure to draw (drag?) along the inveterate BET-audience??? Won't the "story" do???
(d) Oh, yeah, crappy science. (What?!? You thought I'd forget that one?)
Well, this has, after all, turned out to be "Star Trek Academy"--- without the "academy"! ("Three years later . . .") (For the sequel they should have Steve Gutenberg make a cameo.)
And, as predicted, the film has more than its share of flash and boom, but none of it used inventively or innovatively in any shape, form, or fashion.
All that money spent on everything but a good (and creditable) story with believable dialog from its "characters". [sigh]
Vacuity, indeed. An epigonal waste.
Mr. Abrams's "licence" is hereby revoked!


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