Re: The Norman Lear Collection: Sony meatheads reach a new low
I imagine this set happened because Norman Lear called Sony up and said something about offering to do extras. It probably went down like this:
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Sony: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, how may I help you?
Norman Lear: Yes, this is Norman Lear.
Sony: Who?
NL: Norman Lear. Producer of All in the Family. I sold my production company to Columbia in 1985, and you own the rights to my life's work.
S: That name does sound familiar. Oh yeah, we own Columbia Pictures.
NL: Look, anyway, I'm 86 and not getting any younger. With two exceptions, you're dragging your feet on the releases of my shows.
S: If you're asking about why certain movies have black bars, we told you, we got rid of the black bars. Now they all fill up your TV screen. If you have a widescreen TV...
NL: My shows predate widescreen TVs by a quarter of a century. They're not supposed to be in widescreen. When you release the shows I produced on DVD, you don't release all the seasons and you don't do a particularly good job on the seasons you do release.
S: Which shows are you talking about?
NL: All in the Family, Sanford and Son, Maude, Good Times, The Jeffersons, One Day at a Time, Mary Hartman Mary Hartman. Ever hear of them?
S: Uh, no.
NL: Seriously, you've never heard of any of those shows?
S: Look, do you have a question about a product? If you want to exchange a defective product, this is the wrong number.
NL: You've left my shows hanging in mid-air. I want to do extras in case I'm dead in a few years. Four "Jeffersons" cast members died without being asked to do interviews AFTER you started the DVDs.
S: I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Lear. But I'm not the one who decides what to release. Would you like me to add you to our email list?
NL: God no. That's the last thing I want. I want you to continue releasing further seasons of my shows?
S: Which shows do you want?
NL: I told you, all the shows I mentioned before that I produced.
S: We just released the latest seasons of Barney Miller, The Nanny, and The Partridge Family. You can buy them in stores now.
NL: I had nothing to do with those shows. Anyway, my shows changed the face of television. Between them they must have about six dozen Emmys; I can't remember right now. So I want you to release the remaining seasons of my TV shows. And do some extras.
S: Are you, like, the guy who invented "very special episodes", like on Blossom?
NL: No. I brought social relevance, realism, and frankness to situation comedy.
S: So you did invent "very special episodes?"
NL: No, I altered the paradigm of what was acceptable on TV. Look up Norman Lear on your computer.
S: I looked it up, and there's a complete series set of Sanford and Son.
NL: Yes, that's one of mine. The first show with an all-black cast in almost 20 years, and one of only two of my shows that made it to the end on DVD.
S: What was the other one?
NL: Good Times.
S: Yes, we also have a complete series set of Good Times for sale.
NL: I'm aware of what you released. I get very small royalty checks every month.
S: Let me transfer you to my supervisor.
NL: Good, maybe he can explain why you use poor-quality masters, don't bother to make sure all episodes are uncut, and don't interview any cast or crew members, such as myself, for extras.
S: Did you create any of those UPN sitcoms?
NL: Forget it! (Hangs up angrily) God, I wish I had never sold Embassy!
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