Track the Films You Watch (2009) - Page 46

Yeah, I did a little research after writing my review.  Apparently Semon rivaled Chaplin at one point in popularity, but his Wizard effectively sank his career.  I wouldn't mind seeing him in some other context, but this one was a textbook example of how NOT to do an Oz story.

A Night at the Movies: The Suspenseful World of Thrillers (2009) Dir: Laurent Bouzereau

Production: DreamWorks Television & TCM

 

This documentary exploring the cinematic history of thrillers is a decent survey of the genre, but I have to wonder who the targeted audience is.  Brought to us by the man behind, among other things for sure, the many Hitchcock DVD ‘making-of’ featurettes, the doc is loaded with spoilers.  So it’s presuming familiarity in the viewer with all the films covered.  But if you’ve seen all the films, what are you likely to get out of a doc that tries to cover so much in a small amount of time? Repeated knowing nods and saying to yourself ‘yeah, I remember that, cool’ over and over? Of course if you haven’t seen the films, this doc is going to ruin a bunch of them for you.  This leads to the other issue I have, which is that in its hour length it tries to cover from the 1930’s all the way through modern cinema.  Impossible.  As a result it leaves the impression that only Hitchcock and occasionally Fritz Lang were making thrillers in the thirty years from 1930 to 1960.  The first half hour is essentially a Hitchcock featurette. 

 

On the plus side, among those providing commentary are a wide array of accomplished industry pros with interesting things to say, and also there’s Diablo Cody.  We get some insight or personal accounts from the likes of Kenneth Branagh, Mel Brooks, author Ken Follett, Paul Verhoeven, Martin Landau, a still spry Norman Lloyd (who’s about to turn 95!), and Bryan Singer who gets to plug VALKYRIE in a segment highlighting how the Nazi menace made a comeback in the 70’s (EYE OF THE NEEDLE, THE MARATHON MAN, THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL, etc.).  The typical studio bias in what clips are or are not shown is minimized by basically using stills instead.  You’re not going to be floored by anything but it’s decent enough.

out of 4

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Visiting Vera Cruz (1946) (short)

Production: MGM

 

A look at Vera Cruz, Mexico’s chief port of entry, a fact which we are keenly made aware of, as the first minute of the short is composed of bobbing sights of the harbor courtesy of a camera on a boat in obviously choppy waters.  Vera Cruz is also the “starting point of the Spanish conquest”, as it was here that Cortez first met Montezuma.  A somewhat-less-than breathtaking panorama of the city follows, showing, if nothing else, the architectural influence which makes Vera Cruz “more Spanish than any other city in Mexico.”  Sights include the Municipal Palace, said to be the oldest city hall in the Western Hemisphere (construction started 15 years after Columbus’ arrival), and the Church of Our Lady of the Assumption.  A folk dance, called the ‘Bow Dance’, is highlighted in which a man and woman attempt to tie a bow on the ground with their feet while dancing.  For some reason Fitz felt he had to assure us it was difficult even though “it may look easy”, when in fact it looked like something that would be insanely frustrating to try in the first place.  Finally, a glimpse at the fishing industry shows that fishing industries around the world are pretty much the same.

out of 4

Borrah Minevitch and His Harmonica School (1942) (short) Dir: Jean Negulesco

Production: Warner Bros.

 

Musical short--there’s no dialogue--in which Borrah Minevitch comically conducts a veritable concert band, made up solely of harmonicas, through a couple of songs at his school.  The comedy is all physical; either by contrasting types, as when a dwarf dances with an obese man, or when Borrah leers at pretty girls while playing his organ.  If you ever wanted to hear ‘Begin the Beguine’ as played by about 20 harmonicas, then this is the short for you.  Everyone else will just find it silly, although you may find yourself almost tapping your toes during the snappier numbers.

out of 4

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Zeeland: “The Hidden Paradise” (1935) Dir: Ruth FitzPatrick

Production: MGM

 

Early Traveltalks (even our narrator sounds younger, compared to later entries) takes us to the tiny Dutch province of Zeeland, another of those societies with well-preserved customs and a way of life yet to be touched by the modern advances.  This entry is particularly jammed with interesting facts.  The women of Zeeland seem to be marked by an OCD-level obsession with cleanliness (the Dutch hausfrau is shocked by the filthy American habit of wearing shoes in the house).  The short tells us that “industrious hausfrau” can be seen scrubbing cobblestone every morning and the children are “among the prettiest and best cared for in the world” (well, la-di-da).  In Zeeland, dogs are used to pull around the carts that are used for most of the commerce.  Fitz, channeling his inner dog whisperer, contends that they appear to enjoy the unique service they provide their masters (later, he’ll also bizarrely assert that the Zeeland cows appear to be more contented than those of other lands).  For all this, Zeeland’s agricultural economy is prosperous making it one of the richer provinces in the Netherlands.  And it is the weather-burned arms of the milkmaid, along with a flat chest and broad hips that are considered the most desirable physical traits for girls.  This apparently makes Zeeland a place where thin, big boobed girls are stuck at home, alone, on Friday nights, as well as a place that I am suddenly interested in visiting. 

out of 4

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Glimpses of Old England (1949) (short)

Production: MGM

 

We begin in the Cotswold Hills district (love the cheese, btw, keep it coming), another respite for those who wish to get away from the modern confusions.  A trip through a mini-replica of a typical village, with the famous stone architecture that allows these constructs to stand for many hundreds of year, follows.  Next a look at the engineering marvel that is the Cotswold stone wall (no mortar is used until the top layer), a wall that will stand for generations.  Off we go on a tour through the Wye valley, and a trip down the River Wye.  Even in a land with more than a few old castles, Chepstow, built by Edward I in the 13^th century, stands out.  Other attractions include Tintern Abbey, a ruin, and Lacock Abbey, basically intact despite being about 800 years old.  Lacock is also the sight where the first pictures were taken, by William Henry Talbot, the inventor of photography. 

out of 4

A Pete Smith Specialty: The Camera Caught It (1954) (short)

Production: MGM

 

A look at the unique things the movie camera has captured over the years that could never be replicated or recreated in a studio.  Up first are examples of weather; we see a massive snowstorm hit a city, torrential rain flooding a city, and a hurricane level storm tossing a ship, with passengers, on the rocks.  Next up is demolitions, where we see a clip of a building implosion.  Under the category of scientific progress, Pete shows us some wacky early attempts at air flight, including the ridiculous ‘sky car’, a kind of helicopter.  No such compilation would be complete without the old crowd pleaser, the potential death of a driver in an auto race and we are treated to a clip of a massive multi-car crash with a fire and smoke that looks like a burning oil field.  The best is saved for last, and we get a brief history, leading into the classic footage of ‘Galloping Gertie’, the suspension bridge over the Tacoma Narrows that oscillated and collapsed in high winds.

out of 4

Our Gang in Clown Princes (1939) (short) Dir: George Sidney

Production: MGM

 

The gang overhears a landlord threatening to throw Porky and his family out if they can’t come up with $3 in rent and decides to raise the money by putting on a circus for the neighborhood kids.  The gang puts their precious spin on the typical circus attractions; a ‘wild spotted leopard’ is a cat with paint on it; a ‘trained seal’ is a dog with flippers on his front legs and a balloon tied to his nose; with Spanky as the barker, the freak show features Buckwheat in a loin cloth and face paint as ‘Oogie-Boogie, the wild man from Borneo’, and Darla, with a stuffed animal on her arm, as a snake charmer.  Darla later doubles as the ‘lion tamer’, when she bravely steps into a cage of tiny dogs with big fur collars on to represent their manes.  On to the main event, with Spanky and Leonard doing an acrobat act and Alfalfa singing ‘The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze’ while suspended on a trapeze that’s hoisted up by a distracted pony.  Needless to say, the gang raises the dough and the landlord gets a comeuppance.  Routine ‘Our Gang’ antics.

out of 4

 

A continuing look into the seedy world of shorts...

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: A Wee Bit of Scotland (1949) (short)

Production: MGM

 

Our trip through Scotland begins in its former capital, Perth, historic city memorialized in the works of Sir Walter Scott and the place where John Knox created the foundations of the Protestant Church.  One of the traditional pastimes of the people of Perth is marching and we see a parade of bagpipers on display.  Then to Inverness, another historic city.  From there, a short trip brings us to Loch Ness, maximum depth of 700 feet and never known to freeze.  Mention is made of the Loch Ness monster, the tale of which was just a few years old at the time of this short.  Next we visit the sight of the Battle of Culloden, “the most hallowed ground in all of Scotland”, and fought between highland clans and English soldiers on April 16, 1746.  On the way to St. Andrews we take a look at fields of heather and a flock of the indigenous shaggy-haired highland cattle.  Finally, a look at the birthplace of golf, the Royal and Ancient Golf Club, where Fitz fulfills an ambition to hit a drive off the first tee at St. Andrews.  His swing needs some work.

out of 4

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Glimpses of New Scotland (1947) (short)

Production: MGM

 

We begin in Halifax harbor, Nova Scotia, “one of the finest natural harbors in the world.”  Looking over the harbor, up on Citadel Hill, is an old clock tower, which dates to 1800.  To honor their roots, the folks of Nova Scotia still like to get the old highland kilt out and do a march.  Also explored are the contributions of the significant French population of Nova Scotia, including vast orchards of apple trees, the source of the nickname “the apple barrel of Eastern Canada”.  Some colonial history and a look at the restored forts in Port Royal and Annapolis Royal, follows.  We finish our visit at the Port of Digby, “home of one of the world’s great scallop fleets” and the Bay of Fundy, a body of water with the world’s highest and lowest recorded tides, which is as fascinating as this one gets.

out of 4

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Serene Siam (1937) (short)

Production: MGM              

 

As this short begins, we are dropped into the bustling heart of Bangkok, capital of Siam (or Thailand), with its impressive railway terminal looming over the city.  It’s said the Bangkok covers more land than any other city in the world, outside of London, a testament to the “foreign engineers who helped to reclaim the land from canals and marshes.”  Not that the people of Bangkok were pikers, as we see their famous centuries old Buddhist temples.  A brief history of Buddhism follows, a religion “founded more upon reason than faith” with an aim more of “knowledge than morality”.  The chief entertainment of the Siamese is dancing, and the “supreme desire” of every dancer is to be able to bend your hand back to have your fingers touch the wrist, something, needless to say, I can’t do.  They don’t call Siam the ‘Venice of Asia’ for nothing, and virtually all travel is done by the vast network of canals, as the soil can’t maintain roads.  Our visit ends with a trip down the Menam River.

out of 4

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Night Life in Chicago (1948) (short)

Production: MGM

 

We open with some great nighttime shots of the Loop, with the glimmering lights of Randolph Street highlighting the shops, restaurants and theaters.  First stop is the Walnut Room in the Bismarck Hotel, where we see Don Julian and Marjorie’s cape dance.  Among the luminaries in the crowd are Mayor Martin H. Kennelly, Col. Robert McCormick, the publisher of the Tribune, and former Vice President of the United States (under Cal Coolidge) Charles G. Dawes.  But we’re just getting started.  After we pass the Chicago Theater and Don the Beachcomber’s, we stop in at Chez Paree, where hopefully the drinks are better than the floor show.  Along Michigan Avenue, past the Wrigley Building, we check out the Ambassador Hotel’s renowned Pump Room for some classy dinner atmosphere.  It’s such a nice night, so we head over to the Edgewater Beach Hotel to sample one of its famous outdoor shows, just in time to catch the dancing horse do his routine.  A little dancing at the Empire Room, Boulevard Room, Camellia House or Mayfair Room ends our crawl of nocturnal Chicago.  Now we’re talking.

out of 4

The Boy Friends in Ladies Last (1930) (short) Dir: George Stevens

Production: MGM

 

The Boy Friends was a series of Hal Roach-produced shorts spun off of the Our Gang series.  It featured Mickey Daniels (as ‘Mickey’), a graduate of the Our Gang shorts, now a teenager, and revolved around his various adolescent hi-jinks.  He was typically joined by another Roach veteran, Mary Kornman (as his girlfriend ‘Mary’) and Grady Sutton (as his pal ‘Alabam’).  David Sharpe (as ‘Dave’) also frequently appeared as a third member of the crew.  

 

Facing the uncomfortable prospect, by ladies’ request, of wearing tuxedos to the big dance, Dave, Alabam and Mickey get the other guys together and attempt to reassert their independence by organizing a week long ban on any association with the girls.  Of course by the next day, the guys are all going nuts.  The girls know it and are intent on torturing the guys to the maximum. This leads to the big gag where they go through with the dance, only each girl gets partnered with a dressed up dummy in order to make the boys, who are watching from outside the sorority house, jealous.  Complicating matters are a pair of armed robbers preying on the girls.        

 

The funniest thing, if not the grotesque mugging of Mickey and his high pitch bird laugh, may be a look at all the crazy fads popular with college kids of the day.  Otherwise notable as the credited directing debut of George Stevens, but probably not noted by George himself too often.

out of 4

The Boy Friends in High Gear (1931) (short) Dir: George Stevens

Production: MGM

 
This short in the Boy Friends series introduces us to Mickey’s family, the Daniels, who, as we are told by the opening title card, for the purposes of the census are not categorized as inhabitants but as ‘inmates’.  There’s Mickey’s hapless father, who always comes out the worse for wear on any interaction with Mickey.  And Mickey’s obnoxious little sister who just hates Mickey’s game.  The short revolves around the family car, which Dad has just fixed up, but Mickey gets to use when Mom asks him to run some errands.  With car in hand, Mickey picks up Dave and Alabam, they get some girls, and try to avert the inevitable disaster.  Complicating matters, the boys unwittingly seek shelter from rain in a criminal gang’s hideout.

 

Funnier entry with, dare I say it, several laugh out loud gags (or at least audible chortling), such as; Mickey’s Dad packing and lighting the phone instead of his pipe; the gang’s encounter with a short in stature but deceptively aggressive motorist; and the gang’s persistent antagonizing of an irritable police officer (played by Edgar Kennedy).  Even Stevens seems to have a better sense of rhythm and timing.

out of 4

I have to say this has sort of become one of my ambitions as well, with Traveltalks, Pete Smith, Passing Parade, Crime Does Not Pay.  Of course, this was before I found out there were over 150 Traveltalks, but that shouldn't stop a no-life loser  like me.  The problem is that I've seen a TT that IMDb doesn't even list (Seeing Ceylon, 1953), so I know their list is not complete, which will annoy me to no end. 

"Doghouse"  - 7.5 /10

Vince (Stephen Graham) is going through a nasty divorce and needs some good old brotherly love from his mates.
So his best friends Neil (Danny Dyer) and Mikey (Noel Clarke) arranges for Vince and four other friends to take a boozy lads holiday to an isolated village called ‘Woodley’ where the women outnumber the men 4 to 1 and where they can stay at the house of Mikey’s Nan.

But when they arrive at the forest-ringed village they find the 4 to 1 ratio of women to men has grown a bit wider as it seems the only people alive in ‘Moodley’ now are the women…mutated, psychotic, man-hating, cannibal women. And they're very hungry….


Hold the phone! Stop the presses!
Jake West has not only made a good film at last…he’s made a very good film!
After the tragic, embarrassing, Goth guff of “Razor Blade Smile”, the inane, swamped by crap acting, boredom of “Evil Aliens”, the admittedly hard grafting Mr West has finally directed a film that’s actually worth all the hard work he obviously puts into his projects.
I’ve always been hard on Jake West as his films always came off as the worst example of what low budget British horror movies can be like.
All seemed lost.
But now, because Jake has finally got some good writers and actors to create his genuinely interesting visions with, he has delivered a great horror-comedy romp that can stand proudly next to many other recent British horror successes.

With his biggest budget yet and solid actors to deliver some choice dialogue West gives us a fast-moving, astute, wonderfully politically incorrect splatter comedy that offers great no nonsense entertainment.
And away from the fun, gory, action it is the acting that makes the film so watchable.

Professional cockney wide boy Danny Dyer is in top form as the blatantly misogynistic Neil and although Dyer at first seems to be playing up to his mostly off-set (he actually very rarely plays such arrogant roles in his films) laddish oath persona, the screenplay (by comic book writer Dan Schaffer) gives him some great chances to break down this persona and Dyer astutely handles his character’s shifting perspectives.
Perspectives that deliver one of the best lines in the film (in a film full of great lines) when the new caring Neil is criticised by his friends, “This is not the time to stop objectifying women”!

The ever welcome Stephen Graham makes Vince extremely likeable and Graham brings his customary drive and energy to the role mixing humour and small moments of drama perfectly.

Of the rest of the cast Lee Ingleby is given the choicest role as the comic/film memorabilia shop owner Matt and does a great job. He also delivers a lovely signposted nod to the ‘are they zombies’ arguments, that films such as “Doghouse” still bring up between fans, when discussing an “Evil Dead” comic with a disrespecting school boy. As just as they were really possessed people in “The Evil Dead” not zombies, the cannibal women in “Doghouse” are infected by a virus and not actually zombies.
Let a “28 Days Later” battle commence!

Everyone else does a grand job and there is a nice support role for movie hard man Terry Stone, as a mysterious soldier, who has certainly improved since his work in “Rollin' with the Nines” and handles some top comedy scenes perfectly. He also gets to have a fun (if gory) reunion with his “Rise of the Footsoldier" co-star Billy Murray, who has a fun cameo.

The film looks good and professional too. Again a big jump from the amateur school play horrors of “Razor Blade Smile”. Some nice use of music, effective cinematography and well staged action ensure we have little from a technical viewpoint to take us out of the movie.
The only real negative points are some very false looking rooftop/house sets used for some sequences.

The ‘Zombirds’ are fun and varied and are essentially played as a genuine threat despite the black comic aspect of many of them as far as appearance goes.
The film has lots of fun playing with genre conventions while adding slapstick silliness, genuine excitement and crude laughs to the plentiful blood and gore on display.
Said gore may not be constant and never reaches crazy levels, but all the FX are well crafted, nicely messy, highly effective and perfectly edited (by West) into the action at just the right time, to boost the film when needed.

The screenplay may not be original and we have to face it that “Doghouse” owes a debt to “Shaun of the Dead”. But thankfully West and Schaffer play out many of these similarities with “Shaun” rather differently and even their own ‘let’s pretend we’re zombies’ sequence manages to become its own beast and delivers some good laughs, for longer than the similar scene from “Shaun” did, even if the basic concept is much broader in its humour.

Where the film really becomes its own film is the delightfully rare and un-pc way it mixes the ‘zombie’ action into the basic idea of 21st century men being emasculated, trained and played by many of the women in their life and more explicitly the way they are made to behave and think in today’s metro sexual environment.
Much of the dialogue from Neil (even if some occasionally crosses the line into ignorant insults) amusingly picks out the trouble men have at trying be good old fashioned fun loving blokes whilst all the time being told they have to be responsible and mature and it's a problem right at the heart of the plot’s basic set-up.
But it’s all done in a fun way, and while women in the film come off pretty bad (the women in the guy’s lives are shown to be just as screamingly driven and scary as their later ‘zombie’ counterparts) the film also takes a few swipes (via Dyer’s Neil and his various ‘zombie’ encounters) at frustrated men going too far and turning into disrespectful idiots.

But at its heart this is an explicitly male dominated film, mainly aimed at a male audience and full of ‘reclaiming your balls’ posturing and speech making.
All of which not only works as far as entertainment goes but is wonderfully rare and welcome.
Hell, an example of this is that the screenplay has West’s aforementioned lead actress Emily Booth (despite her pretty prominent billing) only appear as an unrecognisable ‘Zombird’ and is given no dialogue at all.
Instead she simply snarls and waves some lethal looking scissors around. But this could be her best performance ever, so everyone’s a winner.

A few plot mechanics are laboured (what little isolated English village has a Goth/Alternative shop, a large toy store and its own dental practice and mortuary?) and the ‘virus’ plan is never fully covered which makes for a few head scratching plot moments.
Plus the ending suffers from a foolish slow down of pace as it plays out a rather silly scene involving Dyer and a button and the finale seems very rushed and gives us a rather abrupt ending. Seems they ran out of film or something, as some kind of epilogue would have finished things off perfectly.

These small problems aside though, “Doghouse” is a straightforward, well acted, good time, horror-comedy blast delivered with a professional sheen but still with a rough ‘n’ tumble exuberance that keeps the energy flowing and the fun coming.

Definitely check this out. And if Jake West can deliver a couple more films like this…All is forgiven.

I suppose I wasn't really ready for it as I don't have much new horror at my disposal. Besides, that Challenge is serious business! Folks was getting irritated in there.  I was pleased to find your positive review of EDWIN DROOD (which, you may be aware, I have somewhere around here ) and that they handled the ending well, but I have that set aside for a Dickens-to-film series I am currently working on programming.

Well, to be frank, I think the idea is stupid.  I've got too much other stuff to watch to devote an entire month to some silly gimmick for a genre I'm not even that fond of.  I don't see why horror should have an entire month just because of a holiday.  What makes horror so special?  How come no one spends February watching romances?  When's drama month, or noir month, or comedy month? 

I did try to watch HALLUCINATIONS OF A DERANGED MIND last night. Amateur hour schlock, albeit with the saving grace of being willing to 'go there'.  I think he was going for an exploitation CALIGARI or something.  I'll try one more time with THE STRANGE  HOSTEL OF NAKED PLEASURES, because really, with that title, why wouldn't I?

 Blimey Martin...I bet you're fun at parties. 
It's Halloween!  The time for Ghoulish Cinematic Goodies.  Yay!

I do like horror, when it's done well.  But it's a genre that gets a lot more paint-by-numbers "shovelware" than other genres.

Maybe I will start a "February Is Romance Month" thing and see if anyone else goes for it.  Or is romance too much icky girl stuff and not enough beheadings?


Les amants du Pont-Neuf - I really adored Mauvais Sang, and here's another offbeat romance from Leos Carax, also starring Juliette Binoche and Denis Lavant. And again, this movie has some brilliant, brilliant moments, including another one set to a David Bowie song, like the exuberant "Modern Love" bit in Mauvais. The beauty of the fireworks scene and the ensuing nighttime water-skiing is breathtaking, magical. The film shows love between homeless people without pulling punches. These aren't whimsical hobos down on their luck; they're damaged people, and they act accordingly. Carax makes Alex especially tough to root for, and ultimately this is the Achilles heel of the movie. How you feel about the ending is dependent on how you feel about Alex, and whether you're able to see the finale as ambiguous (or perhaps, just an easy L'Atalante reference). I really would like to give this a higher score, because there are so many fantastic scenes, exhilirating moments and bold choices. But I'm not too comfortable accepting the Alex character (and he's the center of the film) on the level that I think Carax is asking me to. I would definitely watch this again, though. Rating: 8


The Year of Living Dangerously - As I watched this, I was thinking "this guy playing Billy Kwan is really good". When I found out who it was... MIND BLOWN. Not just a terrific (Oscar-winning) performance, but a fantastic make-up job as well. Beyond that, the movie is solid but not too memorable. I think it's a shame that Peter Weir moved away from enigmatic pieces like Picnic at Hanging Rock and The Last Wave to rather formulaic and unremarkable Hollywood-style productions like this and Master and Commander (and the downright awful Dead Poets Society). I mean, there's nothing wrong with movie... it's an interesting enough scenario that's fairly well-written. It just doesn't stick to your ribs at all. Rating: 7


Brink of Life (rewatch) - In Bergman's career there isn't a clear demarcation line between a "good period" and a "bad period", or a "period of decline". The masterpieces, the minor works and the duds are sprinkled throughout. Coming directly after the one-two punch of Seventh Seal and Wild Strawberries, it's hard to call this one a masterpiece, but I would say it's one of the best of his lesser-known films. Maternity is a major theme in his early work, and it seems that by devoting an entire movie to it, he finally got it all out of his system (at least, I can't think of another film after this where pregnancy is prominent). Photographically, it's not much to speak of. There's the usual emphasis on long, revealing close-ups, but without Gunnar Fischer or Sven Nykvist, there aren't a whole lot of visually interesting shots. Bergman referred to the cinematographer as an "adequate craftsman without any sensibility or joy". So it feels more like a stage production than cinema, showcasing the acting instead of the camera. But the acting is very strong on all fronts. Ingrid Thulin, Bibi Anderssen and Eva Dahlbeck each get their own story, which blend together much more organically than in something like Secrets of Women, because of the shared setting. Again, not a masterpiece, but a very fine work which I find quite moving. Rating: 8


Way Down East - Thank goodness filmmakers no longer feel the need to bluntly state their lesson right at the beginning of the movie. As shitty as Requiem for a Dream is, imagine how much worse it would be if it opened with a title card that said "Drugs are bad, we hope to teach you that with this story". D.W. Griffith is rarely subtle, and again here's a tale without a shred of nuance, ambiguity, or depth. It's all right there in the open, a morality play based on sexual politics that are now severely outdated. Fucking long, too. Two and a half hours, much of which is taken up by dumb comedy bits involving secondary characters. Things pick up a little at the end, when Lillian Gish FINALLY speaks up for herself and there's an exciting little bit of business. But it didn't really make up for the rest of it, which I found pretty dull. On a technical level, there were just a few poetic shots... the rest of it wasn't bad, but didn't seem terribly impressive even for 1920. Rating: 5


American Gigolo - Sleek and stylish in that 80s-riffic way, but also very silly. The film doesn't know what it wants to be, and ends up being a thriller that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and a romance that makes even less sense. Both are resolved in a way that will make you say "wait, seriously?", given the tone of everything leading up to the finish. It's too bad there's no Schrader commentary on the DVD, I have a sneaking suspicion that the ending was one of those studio-mandated things after a bad test screening. But it's fun watching Gere go about his gigolo business, and there are some entertaining moments. Rating: 6


Hamlet (1948) - I've said before that I'm a moron when it comes to Shakespeare. Although I've gleaned some of "Hamlet" from The Bad Sleep Well, Hamlet Goes Business, and other pop culture references, I've never read it or seen a production of it before now. So I'm not at all qualified to comment on the faithfulness of Olivier's adaptation or any egregious omissions he might have made. Unsurprisingly, I was absorbed by the dramatic quality of the story. Unlike Way Down East, I was not at all bothered by the 2.5 hour length, which went by quite easily. I've always said I'm not a fan of straight Shakespeare, but perhaps I'll have to revise that, because I've pretty much enjoyed the ones I've been seeing recently (although they were primarily from masters like Olivier and Welles). I still struggle with the dense language, but not as much as I used to. Rating: 7


South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (rewatch, Blu-Ray) - Boy, I haven't watched this in 8-9 years. Still pretty funny, although a lot of the songs aren't quite as good as I'd remembered. It's weird to see long-gone characters again, like Chef, Ned and Mr. Hat. Rating: 8

Good idea - give it a try. I like some romance movies, but certainly not enough of them to go all month. 

As for beheadings, most of the horror classics I love don't feature any!  

If you start one, I'm definitely in.

well just watch James Cameron films, they have beheadings and excellent romance.

I just watched Wes Craven's New Nightmare today and Robert Englund jokingly says something to the effect of "Just because it's a love story doesn't mean that there can't be decapitations."

Winchester '73 - I'll have to change my usual "I don't like Westerns" stance to "I don't LOVE Westerns, but most of them are okay". Not a whole lot of them end up being favorites (especially not the older ones) but there really haven't been that many that I hated, and most of those are because of John Wayne. This one has a great gimmick with the Winchester macguffin, following the gun around from one undeserving owner to another. More importantly, it's just a fun movie with some good action scenes that avoids wallowing in most of the genre trappings. I could have done without the "savage" Indians (Rock Hudson!) but that's just the bleeding heart liberal in me. Jimmy Stewart is pretty great in it. The film looks mighty good, too. I'd probably buy this if it came out on Blu-Ray. Rating: 8


Stop Making Sense (rewatch, Blu-Ray) - I have two teeny-tiny complaints about this movie (besides the fact that it ends). One, Chris Frantz's little outbursts on "Genius of Love". I love the song, and all the stuff from the record is fine. It's the dumb extra bits like "check it out!" that just sound like white boy trying too hard. The other thing is that you gotta keep Bernie Worrell on a short leash. The man is funky as fuck, but some of the worst Funkadelic songs are the ones where he's given free rein, and his noodlings on "Making Flippy Floppy" often sound overambitious, or just plain off. That's it. Other than that, it's a thing of perfection. One of my big regrets is not going to see it during its 2-year run at the Fine Arts Theater in Chicago. I thought about it a bunch of times, just never got off my ass and did it. Rating: 10

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Land of Alaska Nellie (1936) (short)

Production: MGM

 

En route to Alaska via the “lover’s lane of the inland seas”, the Inland Passage, which we are told is the longest protected waterway in the world, flanked by snowcapped mountains the whole trip.  Our destination is Seward, gateway to Alaska’s interior, and namesake of the Secretary of State whose purchase of the land from Russia for $7million has since yielded a return of several thousand percent, despite the initial skepticism which lead to it being dubbed ‘Seward’s Folly’.  The sight of some bathing lovelies in a stream shows us that Alaska is not perpetually frozen over.  Some of the thriving wildlife in Alaska is prized for its fur and we see a litter of baby minks and silver foxes whose future no doubt is as shoulder garnish for some old blue hair on the Upper East Side of New York. Then off to meet our subject, ‘Alaska Nellie’ Lawing, a legendary mountain woman who’s roadhouse on Lake Kenai has entertained both U.S. presidents and angry brown bears (as the three gnarled fingers she shows us can attest to).  A genuine character.

out of 4 

 

 

 

John Nesbitt’s Passing Parade No. 70: Clues to Adventure (1949) (short)

Production: MGM           

 

Three earlier Passing Parade subjects are cannibalized into this one entry that is interesting, if somewhat speculative as history.  Begins with an irresistible hook; what could a book of nursery rhymes, a modest, colonial era newssheet, and a bit of iron fashioned into a mask possibly have in common, and how do they still affect us today?  First a look at each one. 

 

Any library will have a ‘Mother Goose’ book, and in that book you’d find ‘Rock-a-bye-baby’ (or ‘Hush-a-bye-baby’ as originally written).  This is a rhyme that is often used to show how frightening these tales can be for kids when you look at the words literally, but in fact, as we are told, it was written in a figurative sense as a criticism of King James II by a disgruntled subject.  The rhyme is a subversive call to arms in response to a suspicion that the reviled King, who had not produced a male heir, had surreptitiously acquired a baby not his own to prop up as the future king.  The bough in the ‘bough breaks’ refers to a branch in James’ family tree.  A revolution booting James soon followed. 

 

Next, the old weekly journal, published by a man named John Peter Zenger (played by Victor Kilian) in early 1700’s New York.  In an era when criticism of the governor might mean a turn in the stocks and a lashing, the publisher dared to print a story involving corruption at the highest level.  Sure enough, the militia destroyed his press and he was brought to trial facing twenty years in prison, a trial that the country followed intently.  A surprise acquittal followed, thanks to Zenger’s attorney, who argued for the “liberty of speaking and writing the truth.”

 

Finally, the iron mask, indeed the same mask which originally featured in Voltaire’s writing (and later, Dumas) about a mysterious prisoner in France of 1661, a man whose identity was forever hidden by decree of King Louis XIV.  This man, head riveted in an iron cage, remained a personal prisoner of the King for 30 years until his death.  The story became a rallying cry for the French Revolution, and those storming the Bastille are said to have sought out the cell where he may have been held. 

 

So what is the importance of the three clues? Each example is said to have held a part in the writing of the Bill of Rights.  The nursery rhyme showed that people would use the underground unless they had freedom of speech.  The trial of the publisher highlighted the need for a free press.  And the case of the iron mask suggested the need to prohibit cruel and unusual punishments.  Nice storytelling, which would necessarily be blunted if you had seen the original shorts.       

 

out of 4

 

 

 

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: A Word for the Greeks (1951) (short)

Production: MGM

 

To Athens, the birthplace of democracy, and the home of ancient ruins like the Acropolis, the Parthenon and the Temple of Zeus.  Even buildings of comparative recent vintage are designed in the classic, magnificent architecture style dating back to the age of Pericles, circa 5^th Century B.C.  Fitz tells us that Athens has taken a decidedly “modernistic trend” recently, as seen in the renewed spirit of a people who have had their fill of war (the Greek Civil War followed WWII).  A look at a bustling market follows, with vendors selling fruits, vegetables and even children’s dolls.  Then we see a hotel housing orphans who lost parents during the recent civil war.  On the Aegean Sea we visit the island of Rhodes, whose infrastructure was significantly built up by Mussolini during the Italian “regime”.  We also take a look at the Castle of the Knights of St. John, a Crusades-era fortress that Mussolini retrofitted with modern conveniences as a place he planned on retiring to!  We finish up with a glance at some native folk dancers.  Is it me or was that odd to highlight Mussolini’s contributions in a Greek travelogue?  I hope I didn’t just ‘out’ Fitz as a crypto-fascist. 

 
out of 4

 

 

 

A Pete Smith Specialty: I Love My Mother-in-Law But… (1948) (short) Dir: Dave O’Brien

Production: MGM

 

Following hot on the heels of I LOVE MY WIFE BUT!, this Pete Smith short takes on a subject which has provided succor to the writers of countless golden age TV sitcoms over the years--the nightmare mother-in-law, from the husband’s perspective.  We are introduced to the various types of mother-in-laws, like the one that is never satisfied with anything the husband does.  Or the busybody type, who ‘innocently’ reignites arguments between the wife and husband, especially the few the husband actually wins (in this case, a decision over where to hang the husband’s favorite painting, which rather hilariously looks to be Gainsborough’s ‘The Blue Boy’ with the face of Harpo Marx).  Then there’s the poisoned tongue troublemaker, who suspects the husband is up to no good when he’s not home on time and makes sure the wife starts suspecting as well.  As Pete says, there are plenty of swell mothers-in-law, but the snooper isn’t one of them.  She looks at bank books, opens packages and ‘overhears’ phone calls but never gets caught.  Like I LOVE MY WIFE, this short almost plays out the joke, and the physical gags that are supposed to be the pay-off are just sort of standard at best, but there’s enough there for a laugh.

out of 4

 

 

 

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Where Time Stands Still (1945) (short)

Production: MGM

 

A common theme in Traveltalks, here we are in rural Guatemala, where the people live off the land the same as their ancestors did centuries earlier.  The main crop is a sort of super plant called anise, which is used in condiments, medicines and liqueurs (it’s supposed to taste like black licorice-ewwww!).  We see the natives, who have perfected a method of hauling large weights on their back with the help of a stabilizing strap around their head.  They’ll often spend a day traveling like this to get to market.  Much of the land has been shaped by volcanic activity, such as Lake Atitlán where we see a hotel amidst the surrounding peaks, like the over 10,000 ft. high San Pedro volcano.  The villages surrounding the lake are named after the Christian apostles, but most of the villagers are inherently pagan. “Nevertheless” Fitz assures us, “the inhabitants are highly moral.”  A look at the weaving skills of the natives follows.  We finish up with a demonstration of the courtship and marriage rituals (the man drops a bundle of wood outside the hut of the woman’s family; if the woman’s father accepts the wood, it’s game on, but if he refuses the wood, it’s back to the drawing board for the jilted man).  Not without interest, although there’s nothing to get awestruck about.

out of 4

 

 

 

James A. FitzPatrick’s Traveltalks: Natural Wonders of the West (1938) (short) Dir: James H. Smith

Production: MGM

 

The ‘West’ being the American West and the ‘wonders’ are those found in the expanse of undeveloped land throughout Arizona, Wyoming, Utah and South Dakota, an area once referred to as the “badlands”, but as of the date of this Traveltalk, were just being aggregated into the National Park system (no doubt this aired to coincide with the recent Ken Burns series).  Of course our trip starts in the Grand Canyon, but next we’re off to Bryce Canyon in Utah.  Then the astounding Devil’s Tower in Wyoming, where nearby we visit a “tract of land set apart for a colorful tribe of Sioux Indians”.  Fitz corrects the common misconception of the time that the Native population was dwindling to what would eventually be zero, when in fact it had risen since the census of 1865 and the current number of 400,000 was a little less than half the original population (See? Everything’s great!).  To the Black Hills of South Dakota, said by geologists to be 40 million years old (it’s since been aged much older).  Here we get a great look at an in-progress Mount Rushmore monument, with only Washington and Jefferson recognizable, barely an outline of Lincoln, and work on Roosevelt yet to even begin.  I could spend hours looking at this stuff and this one almost suffers for being too short

 

out of 4 

 

 

 

A Pete Smith Specialty: Crashing the Movies (1950) (short)

Production: MGM

 

As the short begins, we get a brief discussion of the important work captured by newsreel cameras (stock market crash, Iwo Jima, etc.), and if you’re familiar with Pete Smith, you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Oh, yep, there it is, slow motion footage of a fat woman in a diving competition.  The subject is oddball events that have ‘crashed’ the newsreels, and if nothing else, it is amusing to look at.  There’s the woman hanging by her teeth who slides on a wire between two buildings high over Manhattan (awesome) or the bozo who attempts to switch from waterskiing to a hang glider in one motion (FAIL).  Under the category of ‘trick crashes’ we see an idiot on a motorcycle drive through a pane of glass and several poor attempts at jumping cars and buses.  Next a couple of human cannonballers, one of which impressively clears two Ferris wheels on his jump.  Then to show that ‘Jackass’ isn’t just a TV show from a few years ago, we see a man in a cart ride a homemade loop de loop track with varying degrees of success on the landing.  The pièce de résistance is a chap named ‘Cannonball’ Richards, a man notable for several newsreel ‘crashes’ over the years.  Cannonball was catnip to the newsreel cameras for his ability/willingness to absorb massive blows to the ample girth of his midsection (from the following, and note the progression as Cannonball seeks to top himself and keep the spotlight on: punches, people jumping on him while he lies on the ground, a battering ram wielded by several men, sledgehammers and yes, from fired cannonballs).  Brilliant.

 

out of 4

  Don't like Wayne westerns??  Madness.  Utter madness!!  Insanity!

"Winchester '73" is yet another top notch Anthony Mann western.  Glad you liked it.



"Cannibal Terror" - 1.5 / 10

Two low life crooks named Mario and Roberto, with the help of their big breasted female companion,decide to kidnap a young girl named Florence from her wealthy parents and ransom her. But the plan gets ruined and they have to flee into a cannibal infested jungle…

Briefly on the infamous UK ‘Video Nasties’ list, “Cannibal Terror” was quickly removed and promptly sank without a trace, only to re-appear, fully uncut and approved by the BBFC, in 2003.
And boy, do we wish it had stayed lost!

Filmed in Spanish locations (badly standing in for South America) "Cannibal Terror" is a Production of the dreaded ‘Eurociné’ (who also vomited out “Zombie Lake”) and the low quality they often aim for is here in spades.

The movie’s opening credits are backed by a catchy, jaunty (if completely out of place) piece of music the lures us into the trap of thinking the film will at least be full of energy. Far from it sadly and the rest of the music decides to fit in with the hellish stupor that washes over all who dare to carry on watching as it consists mostly of an annoying beeping noise, repetitive drones and something that sounds like radio interference.

The soundtrack horrors don’t end at the music though as we are bombarded by some (even by Euro Trash standards) awful dubbing and truly inane dialogue. Whether the dialogue is authentic to the screenplay or a creation of the dubbing process I have no idea…But it’s bad.
Though some entertainment value is clawed from it.
How about this gem, as the crooks and the ‘companion of prominent breasts’ argue;
Man:  “You mind your own ass”
Breasts: “My ass is go f*ck yourself” (!?)

The uneventful script drags the film’s pace to a crawl but so does the lousy direction and editing as we have to endure plenty of scenes where actors say their lines and obviously then have no idea what to do next as the camera lingers on their nervous and confused faces.
And boy, does the director like to film people walking a lot. A trek into cannibal land by our fleeing kidnappers must go on for a solid ten minutes of screen-time, broken only be the occasional shot of a bored looking cannibal skulking behind a bush. One brief attack scene later, we’re back to another massive portion of walking along footage, backed by more of those annoying burps and farts that pass for a musical score.

And seeing as the entire thing was shot in less than mysterious and exotic Spain, as opposed to the genuine Amazonian treks that Deodato and Lenzi undertook for their cannibal flicks, we of course have no ancient, deep, half-forgotten jungles here for our cannibals to dwell in. Oh no. Instead we have just grass and scrub land. with the odd, rather sick looking, trees and the occasional rock thrown in.
And when combined with the short and easy jeep ride our kidnappers take to get to, it means we get the impression that the general area where this supposedly wild tribe of stone age cannibals actually live is 5 miles out of town on a derelict piece of land soon to be a developed as a shopping mall.
The native’s camp has a few bigger trees around it, but their wide spacing, the bright sunshine and the lack of any actual undergrowth means we have none of that stifling, oppressive, mysterious, majestic atmosphere of a true undiscovered civilisation that we get from the likes of “Cannibal Holocaust” or “Cannibal Ferox”.

The cannibals themselves have of course gone down in bad movie history as perhaps the worst seen in the genre. And for good reason.
A bit of cheap face paint can’t hide the fact that this tribe is made up of confused Spanish locals filled out with a bunch of tanned white dudes in bad wigs, who seem to be having a ball playing dress up and grinning at the camera.
It looks like am overly ambitious frat party out in the countryside where Billy Bob decided it would be cool to dress up like natives, have a BBQ, get drunk and go ‘ugga bugga’ round the world’s wimpiest camp fire.
Although saying that there is also a balding, paunchy, accountant type playing at being cannibals too.
And this guy unfortunately figures prominently in many shots, thus exploding even the slightest chance there ever could have been of portraying an even remotely effective bunch of flesh eaters.

‘Do we at least have some nudity’ I hear you cry! Yes indeedy we do.
We have a full frontal bath tub scene which is very welcome, but again even this is handled badly and is all we get.

Even the gore effects are equally bad and obvious in their execution.
We admire the way the makers decided to shove the gore right in the viewer’s face…we really do…but they could at least have tried to hide the fact that the ‘lost locals/frat boy cannibals’ are simply ripping at a pig’s carcass in the first gore scene.
It’s true the (long) scenes of guts, flesh, and various innards being pulled out, ripped apart and generally messed with are suitably gross, but the fact it simply looks like a dead pig being mauled means any shock and horror is lost. Check out a similar slaughter sequence in “Jungle Holocaust” to see how a genuinely disturbing cannibal feast should be filmed and constructed. Nothing else of note happens until we get another full-on bit of pig abuse at the end.

And if the fact we were seeing a pigs carcass was obvious in the first scene, here it’s spelt out in neon letters fifty foot high!
Classic bad moment to end them all is when, despite the quick cut away from it, we clearly see a split pig carcass on its back, held by it’s front legs, being supposedly cut open with a big sword.
I care not how many weak cries of supposed human suffering they dub over the poor porker , of that they squeezed a pair of blue jeans onto its back legs (I kid you not) , this is perhaps the most shockingly unconvincing gore sequence I have seen since the papier-mâché head in the rubber crocodile’s mouth abused my senses in “Brutes and Savages”.

The big surprise (and shame) is that the film simply doesn’t play at all (dubbing aside) like those Euro Trash movies we love so much.
There is a certain feel ,a certain tone and vibe to Euro Trash flicks of the late 70’s early 80’s that they all share, now matter how diverse. “Cannibal Terror” though truly plays and feels (even though it is shot on film) like one of the many no budget, shot on a friend’s video camera, Indy outfit American films that clog up the shelves of budget stores everywhere. It’s a tragedy of epic proportions…
This is more “Camp Blood” than “Zombi 2”.

Overall then a complete and utter stinker. A total waste of celluloid and one of the worst (though perhaps not quite the worst, maybe) films on the ‘Video Nasties’ list. Trust me…Just don’t bother.

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir - Good enough for what it is, but I didn't get very excited by the premise. It's not unoriginal or hackneyed, I just... didn't get that into it. Also, Rex Harrison annoyed the heck out of me. I hate being in this situation where I have so little to say, but the film just didn't make much of an impression. It's an okay movie, I guess. I wouldn't bother with it again, although I might watch a few minutes if I was flipping channels. Rating: 7


The Grey Zone - I dunno about this one. I think I'd rather read Miklos Nyiszli's book. The casting choices are all wrong. David Arquette is surprisingly not the big problem here (he handles his role quite well, actually). But it's incredibly jarring to see Steve Buscemi and Harvey Keitel in this context. And you can almost hear Mira Sorvino's agent telling her that doing a Holocaust movie is a good career move. And Tim Blake Nelson (writing and directing here, not acting) makes an odd choice to have the dialogue in clipped, Mamet-esque rhythms. One gets the sense that it was just something he always wanted to do, so why not do it here? The story does raise powerful questions of morality, but this is really nothing new in Holocaust films, and has been done more effectively in films before and since. Anyway, more and more I'm of the belief that dramatizing the camps is a bad idea. It can never be horrible enough. I don't mean that in a voyeuristic way, I don't get any kicks out of seeing people suffer. But the truth of it is so awful and so overwhelming that it cannot be captured by actors with scripts on sets. Should there be "amazing shots" in movies about so much death and pain and unbearable loss? On the other hand, it seems wrong to put limitations on any kind of artistic endeavor. I just don't know. Rating: 6

And pure sublimity it is, Mario.  Reviews now with IMDb links, no less! So, I'll keep an eye out for TIMBUKTU some time in January '10?  

I'm glad you enjoyed my review above and regret not having done the same with TIMBUKTU (1959).

However, as for IMDb review links, they've all been available a click of a button away for some time now (via my HTF signature).

The Magician (rewatch) - Kind of an odd one in Bergman's career. Some call it a religious allegory (even going so far as to call Vogler a stand-in for Jesus), and while there is something to that, I think it's more about the magic of film and theater. While Bergman achieved fantastic success mixing comedy and drama in Seventh Seal, it often doesn't quite work here. For instance, the scene with Mrs. Egerman confessing to Vogler and coming on to him is a fine scene, but it feels pasted in. But if it doesn't always gel, it does have some great moments and is generally pretty entertaining, with the usual strong performances. Gunnar Fischer's photography is quite wonderful, too. Rating: 7


And the Ship Sails On - Fellini's tribute to opera (among other things) doesn't have that spark of brilliance to put it alongside masterpieces like Juliet of the Spirits, 8 1/2 or Nights of Cabiria. But it does have a variety of fun characters, some unusual ideas, and a handful of really magnificent scenes... the boiler room performance, the musical glasses, the Serbian dance, the seagull in the dining room, the rhinoceros. And there's nothing terribly flawed about the film, except that the fake vintage footage doesn't quite work. There's more to old cinema than sepia tones and scratches, and Fellini uses camera techniques and depth of field that would not have been utilized much (if at all) in 1914. But artifice is part of the package, notably in some of the blatantly artificial sets and the movie's finale, most likely meant to parallel the kind of artifice one would see in an opera. Rating: 8


The Getaway - Tough guys with guns, lots of cheap blood, and women getting slapped around. Yep, it's a Peckinpah. But it's tempered somewhat to make it more palatable for the non-fan. His usual nihilism is balanced out by the redemptive ending, and his misogyny (in full effect with the Sally Struthers character) is balanced by the strength of the Ali McGraw character. The film is a tense and well-constructed heist-gone-wrong flick, which I usually find quite enjoyable. One of the better Peckinpahs, IMHO. Rating: 7


Pursued - Years before taking the title role in Night of the Hunter, Robert Mitchum played the hunted in this movie that's more film noir than Western. While there's nothing truly spectacular about it, it's quite excellent in every regard and thoroughly watchable. A tight script (some of Mitchum's voiceover monologue is a bit overcooked, but no more so than your average noir), good performances, stark cinematography, a fair-to-good Max Steiner score, dark psychology and a lot of tense moments. And now I'm definitely feeling some movie burnout, gonna take a break for a few days. Rating: 8