Re: *** Official 9th Annual HTF October Scary Movie Challenge
Ants! (1977)
Robert Scheerer
A lakeside hotel is about to be sold off but before that can happen an outbreak of poison ants start killing people. This made for TV film is yet another in a long line of "when nature attacks" films but it's not too bad as long as you don't take it too serious. Suzanne Somers, Robert Foxworth, Lynda Day George, Brian Dennehy and Myrna Loy (!) all have pretty good parts in the film so the familiar cast certainly keeps things going, although all of them have seen better days. As with a lot of films like this, it's best to turn your brain off and just enjoy what's going on in front of your eyes. Once again we get a speech how this is all our fault due to the poisons we use to kill insects. Yes, we are to blame for the ant outbreak because we previously tried to kill them. While the story might be simple and rather brain dead, it does make for a mildly entertaining film. The special effects of all the ants are rather weak as in most cases it seems like something black is just sprinkled around to look like ants. There are a few scenes where we see close ups of real ants eating a butterfly but there's never anything too graphic. The biggest problem with the film is that the ants are never scary and not once did I feel threatened even though people were dying from them. AKA:
It Happened at Lakewood Manor.
Lady Frankenstein (1971)
Mel Welles
Dr. Frankenstein (Joseph Cotten) creates a new monster but when it kills him his daughter (Rosalba Neri) must try and clear his name by creating another one without the mental issues. It's amazing that someone like Mel Welles would end up creating one of the most outrageous Euro Horror films out there. Welles, who started working with Roger Corman, must have learned something as this low-budget film has just about everything fans of sleaze would need. I'm not sure if it's fun or sad to see someone like Cotten in a movie like this but he turns in a decent performance as does Paul Muller in his supporting role. Euro favorite Neri is also pretty good in her role and especially the scene where she seduces a retarded man she wants to use. The film also contains one of the ugliest monsters in Frankenstein history. The deformed, burned face is perfectly ugly and remains one of my favorite make ups for the creature. I've seen this film several times now in its American form but sadly the uncut European version hasn't been released yet even though it was found many years ago. Perhaps this longer cut might explain the ending to this one, which comes up out of no where. This film is certainly a long way off from the Karloff version but if you want Euro sleaze then it's not too bad.
Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975)
Andrea Bianchi
A young model gets pregnant and decides to have an abortion but she ends up dying on the operating table from a heart issue. The doctor takes her back to her house and leaves her but months later he is brutally murdered and soon other models are being mutilated by a masked killer. This Italian giallo is best known for its sleaze level, which is quite high but that should be expected from director Bianchi who is best known for his insane zombie film
Burial Ground. Edwige Fenech and Nino Castelnuovo play the two photographers trying to get to the bottom of the case. This movie isn't really good storywise because it really doesn't take you in on the mystery. In other words, there's certainly a mystery going on but we never get any suspects to go along with the mystery so we pretty much just have to sit around and see who they reveal at the end. The ending is somewhat disappointing but that doesn't matter too much as everything important happens at the start of the film. As the title suggests, there are plenty of beautiful women getting naked from the start of the film till the end. These Italian films have never been shy about showing skin and this one here is probably the most nude-filled I've seen. The violence and gore level is also pretty high as we get several slashings throughout. Euro-fave Fenech is very good in her role as her charm certainly spills over to the viewer. She has plenty of nude scenes as well so fans of the genre will certainly want to check this one out.
Creeping Terror, The (1964)
Vic Savage
Notorious film with the reputation of being one of the worst films ever made. A newlywed couple (Vic Savage, Shannon O'Neil) have to put their honeymoon on hold after a spaceship crashes in their small town and a leech like monster starts eating people. This film certainly deserves a BOMB rating but I went ahead with a half a star just for the laughs that the film does give off. The biggest laugh is without question the monster, which has to be one of the worst ever created. It really looks like some sort of rug or carpet was thrown over some people and they just crawl around with it on their back. I'm really not sure what the monster is suppose to be but no matter what it is the thing moves very slowly, which gets us to another funny gag. Whenever it kills, some people see it coming from at least fifty-yards away yet they just sit their on the ground screaming until this slow moving monsters gets their to eat them. There's a lot of stock footage used and then there's the ending, which makes no sense at all. Another issue is that this film could have ran around 30-minutes but every single scene has the director just letting the camera roll and capturing things that should have been on the editing room floor as they play no part in the film. The performances are all beyond bad as is the narration.
Bloodlust! (1961)
Ralph Brooke
Yet another take off on
The Most Dangerous Game but here's a case where you should stick with the original. Four friends go to what they think is a deserted island to have some fun but they are taken hostage by a deranged hunter (Wilton Graff) who plans on stalking them as prey. It's strange but I find the source material to be one of the greatest stories out there and I think it would be very hard to not be able to make a good film out of it. However, that's exactly what's done here as the screenwriter obviously sucked every bit of life out of the story and left us with a dull mess of a film. The most interesting aspect of the story is the hunt between the two sides but that's not the case here as the hunt doesn't happen until the film is pretty much over and even then that so called hunt doesn't go anywhere. It also doesn't help matters that one never fears for any of the main characters as they aren't ever put into any real danger. Graff doesn't make for the best bad guy but while watching the film I couldn't help but wonder what Vincent Price would have been like in the role. Robert Reed from The Brady Bunch plays the main guy and is okay in the film but the rest of the teens are just boring.
Re-Animator: 1942 (2008)
Gary Fierro, Justin Tacchi
Herbert West is stuck in a bomb shelter during WW2 where he tries to see if his reanimation experiment will work on a Nazi soldier. Okay, this short doesn't touch the original film that it's paying homage to and it certainly can't compete with the ultimate nazi/zombie film
Shock Waves but on its own it isn't too bad. There's a couple nice, gory scenes including one where the boys take off the soldier's hat to reveal his brains. The film is quick and to the point, which is good. There's certainly nothing groundbreaking here but it does a good job for what it is.
Lust for Frankenstein (1998)
Jess Franco
Softcore take on the famous story has Moira Frankenstein (Lina Romay) seeing a vision of her dead father and bringing back his creature (Michelle Bauer). Franco had previously made two other Frankenstein films, both in the 70s and while neither of them are classics they certainly are miles better than this thing, which is just downright trash. The film pretty much brought a new style in Franco's career, which has become known as the One Shot years. I'm not a fan of this period and for countless reasons that could be seen here. For starters, the film looks incredibly cheap even by Franco standards with its digital video. The movie features all sorts of strange visual effects, which don't add anything. The worst thing is that the film is pretty much disgusting as it features the elderly Romay in all sorts of sexual situations. She's certainly seen better days and I'm not meaning to insult the elderly folks out there but when you make an erotic movie it's probably better that you show two young people making out the entire time. I think it's a sad state for Romay who really comes off bad in this film but it would get worse with future One Shot films. If someone can find an actual story in this movie then they'll win a dollar from me because I couldn't spot one.
Oasis of the Zombies (1983)
BOMB Jess Franco
Incredibly bad film has several group of people searching for a Nazi treasure in the desert but they soon learn that zombies are protecting it. This review is for the Spanish version of the film, which was released by Image on DVD. I've seen the French version, which has a different music score and a different cast, including Lina Romay, but while it's mildly better it still ranks as one of the worst zombie films ever made. This Spanish version might not be Franco's worst but it might be the worst zombie film out there. The movie is incredibly slow moving and while it only runs 85-minutes one would think it was three times longer. Franco doesn't bring a single ounce of energy or life to the film, which is a real shame because the story could have made for an interesting one. There are only two real zombie attack sequences and both are fairly good but these scenes last a couple minutes while we have to sit in pain throughout the rest of the running time. The performances are all bad, the cinematography lousy and it's clear Franco has no passion for the material with his bad direction. Again, the French version is somewhat better but not worth searching out.
Oh, and Dennis Hopper is a huge asset. Shouting church hymns as he's marching along, welding a giant chainsaw... Damn great idea! I think this is one of the best 1st sequels in horror movie history.
It was only recently that I found out what it was called after seeing the title on lots of "best of horror parody" lists. It's like Airplane! and Kentucky Fried Movie in dated-ness, although for a horror parody movie from 1981 it doesn't feel as dated as it ought to. Really fun in the opening half but sort of goes downhill (or maybe I was just getting sleepy) before it gets to the pretty good ending that was so oddly familiar. I'm glad to have this in my collection now....that girl is cute! Something tells me that the first Halloween and this would make a great double bill for any Halloween party.
