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Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle) - Page 2

post #31 of 58
5/1/08 at 7:56pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErichH
So if we consider the distance from Bay to Scorsese, pointing upwards, then Boll would perhaps be popping out of the ground in China somewhere? I'll assume the earth core is not deep enough to cover the distance needed.
Perhaps if Jupiter were a solid planet? But yet again I've only watched Bay's films (they're entertaining) and none of Boll's. I do have a desire to see Alone in the Dark but no clue if I actually do.
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post #32 of 58
5/1/08 at 8:15pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Mindless action movies (Bay) that feature explosions - violence - overkill are different than poorly done, cheesy films (boll) that have unrealistic dialouge, characters, plot - etc to go along with the lame ideas. Honestly, movies like In the Name of the King featured Puddy-like villians (that's for all you Power Ranger) fans. A movie like Bad Boys II to me is a guilty pleasure.
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post #33 of 58
5/1/08 at 8:53pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Christou
SteveGon and his ilk pride themselves in not being interested in the big summer blockbusters. And I think Ricey once bragged he had successfully avoided watching any of the Lord of the Rings films. There you go, your honour I rest my case.

Oh Stevie, there you go again. The only other HTFer I have ever seen use the word "ilk" is "George Kaplan", an individual who lacks the backbone to use his real name and backs up his fortitude by blocking anyone and everyone who manages not to agree with him, so you're not exactly in good company. Plus, I have seen every one of the never ending LOTR movies, SO THERE!!

Besides, as though any other reason is needed to despise Michael Bay, he is the person who actually convinced Scarlett Johanssen not to go topless. The man is the spawn of Satan.


EDIT: I take no responsibility for my sarcasm being misconstrued by the humor crippled.
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post #34 of 58
5/1/08 at 9:17pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TravisR
Lest anyone think I'm a big Michael Bay fan, I like Bad Boys II and The Rock but hate the rest of his stuff. Of course, that's two more movies than I like of Uwe Boll's terrible output.

you are allowed to be a Bay fan you know. I kinda want to watch "Armageddon" again... thing with Boll though, their not even funny bad films. I think some want to paint him like a Ed Wood Jr, but I find Wood entertaining, Boll is just garbage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnrice
EDIT: I take no responsibility for my sarcasm being misconstrued by the humor crippled.

wouldn't be an issue if you were actually funny....

And really... are we now going to the movies to see actresses tits? So sad.... The problem with "The Island" was that god awful ending. The best thing about Bay was that "Texas Chainsaw" remake he produced. He should stick to that.

The most entertaining thing that Boll could do is actually lose a fight with Michael Bay. Bay looks like a bit of a hippie puss in the special features on his DVDs.

It's so hard to take sides... it's like picking wet poo over smelly poo, you don't really want to support either. :S
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post #35 of 58
5/1/08 at 10:27pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

I was wondering who would be the one to pipe in with the clever "so funny I forgot to laugh" type of comment. Now I know. The politically correct superiority only adds to the mix. I have now managed to be cast off as both an elitist snob and an unwashed, sexist heathen in the same thread. My work here is done.

Bottom line, both these guys are pretty sad.


EDIT: Once again, to anyone who misunderstands the jabs Russell and I exchange, this is a thread about Uwe Boll for sanity sake. How can anyone take any of this seriously?
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post #36 of 58
5/1/08 at 10:38pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnRice
I was wondering who would be the one to pipe in with the clever "so funny I forgot to laugh" type of comment. Now I know. The politically correct superiority only adds to the mix.

Ha ha!! See... I used the "" to indicate it was a joke. And politically correct superiority? Hmm.... see, I goto a movie like "The Island" to (hopefully) see an action film with some stunts based around a story that makes sense, not to see a starlette naked. See, I discovered this genre of film, not sure you heard of it, it's called Porno? Anyways, you can see all the nudity you can ever imagine in it, and trust me, they show way more then the odd boob shot. So it always suprises me when the main draw to a film, like "Swordfish", is a set of boobs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnrice
I have now managed to be cast off as both an elitist snob and an unwashed heathen in the same thread. My work here is done
Not sure I said either of those...

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnRICE
Bottom line, both the guys are pretty sad.
Sadly laughing! this thread is funny. It's about Bay and Boll. COME ON!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JOHNrice
I take no responsibility for my sarcasm being misconstrued by the humor crippled.
Wait, wasn't there something about kettles and pots mentioned in here....



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post #37 of 58
5/1/08 at 10:43pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Are you saying The Island would not have been improved with Scarlett unleashed? I now gladly put you on ignore.

Oh wait, that's someone else.



runs out to rent swordfish
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post #38 of 58
5/1/08 at 10:46pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Your such a Kaplan...
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post #39 of 58
5/2/08 at 5:03am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

I want to see a dual at 10 paces! Come on you elite snobs, get with it!

Russ, who DOESNT want to see some skin! It never hurts a movie.
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post #40 of 58
5/2/08 at 7:09am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Oh rick! It doesn't make a movie either! You guys, such funny 12 year olds!!! XD
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post #41 of 58
5/2/08 at 7:42am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Hey, some quality skin never hurt either. Monster's Ball, deep serious movie. And skin!. Black Snake Moan, amusing, kind of profound movie. And prime skin!!! Gimme more!

Bay makes all the PG-13 stuff that should be R. He is the end of civilization as we know it.
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post #42 of 58
5/2/08 at 7:46am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnRice
Hey, some quality skin never hurt either. Monster's Ball, deep serious movie. And skin!. Black Snake Moan, amusing, kind of profound movie. And prime skin!!! Gimme more!

Bay makes all the PG-13 stuff that should be R. He is the end of civilization as we know it.

And why was it again that you snooted down the Lord Of The Ring movies? More hobbit ass would of made them more appealing?
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post #43 of 58
5/2/08 at 7:55am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell G
And why was it again that you snooted down the Lord Of The Ring movies? More hobbit ass would of made them more appealing?
LOL...maybe one of those elf girls could of lost a top? Who couldnt love chicks with ears?
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post #44 of 58
5/2/08 at 8:24am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Stop before Ricey puts us all on ignore, no wait that's Kaplan's thing.

I liked The Island, Bay was a lot more subdued and it failed at the US box office, though it did do well worldwide. The Bad Boys duo I'm not a big fan of. I remember cringeing thru Pearl Harbore at the cinema, I was dragged to see it by she-who-must-be-obeyed. But the 40min raid was an eye and ear popper though. I have to admit to a fondness for Armageddon, a 90's guilty pleasure. And Transformers was an enjoyable treat in a naff movie year.

I'm surprised at how many well known actors queue up to appear in a Uwe Boll film, though I doubt they'd actually go out and rent one of his films. And dear old Oscar Winning Ben "Sir Ben!" Kingsley will appear in anything these days, even the odd Uwe Boll film and I do mean odd.
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post #45 of 58
5/2/08 at 9:59am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

I'm still trying to figure out why Boll thinks that if he beats up another director, that will somehow make people respect his filmmaking "skills" more?
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post #46 of 58
5/2/08 at 10:04am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by RickER
LOL...maybe one of those elf girls could of lost a top? Who couldnt love chicks with ears?

the real question is who loves chicks with no ears! XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Malcom RRRRR
I'm still trying to figure out why Boll thinks that if he beats up another director, that will somehow make people respect his filmmaking "skills" more?]

Grade 2 playground rules. Duh!

It is shocking the talent Boll gets signed to these films. Maybe not Tara Reid, but I think he got a couple of Oscar winners now. Must pay good. Best was Michael Madsen in "Bloodrayn", with that thick accent of his. Now I want to watch that Dungen Seige movie, didn't it have Burt Reynalds as a king... maybe if Bay was more inspired in casting his films, I'd be more interested
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post #47 of 58
5/2/08 at 2:05pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell G
More hobbit ass would of made them more appealing?
Well, hobbit ass certainly would have been appealing.
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post #48 of 58
5/2/08 at 3:57pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Holy crap!! I don't visit Movies for months and the first thread I open has Ricey up to the usual antics, lame insults disguised as unfunny jokes. I see he still carries on with that weird fixation on kaplan. sheesh, did he steal away your girlfriend or something?
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post #49 of 58
5/2/08 at 4:32pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Hey pot, this is the kettle, you're black.

Yeah, I like to pick on "Kaplan", but I haven't done it in months. It's like shoting fish in a barrell. Sometimes I just can't resist.

I was under the impression Russell and I (as well as possibly a few others) were having some fun. I never got the impression Russell felt attacked. I certainly don't. It would seem the thin skin lies elsewhere.
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post #50 of 58
5/2/08 at 5:04pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Oh simmer down there Ricey-boy. Seems you're the one with the "thin skin", sure can dish it out but you go all to pieces when you're on the other end. Pot meet kettle, my ass.

It's all in good jest. **nudge*nudge*wink*wink and all.

Seriously though what is with the weird fixation on kaplan? Did he steal your wife? kill your dog? insult your favorite movie? Not that I care, really but it's still weird in a stalker kind of way.
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post #51 of 58
5/2/08 at 5:35pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

This thread was a lot more interesting when we were arguing about boobs.
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post #52 of 58
5/2/08 at 5:37pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Here Knock your socks off.
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post #53 of 58
5/2/08 at 6:15pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim_K
Here Knock your socks off.

THATS what i am talkin about!

Is that banana from a Boll movie Jim?
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post #54 of 58
5/2/08 at 6:54pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Is that banana from a Boll movie Jim?

Could be Rick. Don't think I've ever seen a Boll movie though, I hope that doesn't make me as snooty as the booby guy.
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post #55 of 58
5/3/08 at 4:59pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

I used to defend Bay because I thought he delivered the goods. Were "The Rock" and "Armageddon" GOOD movies? No, but they were damned entertaining. I even liked parts of "Pearl Harbor"; the "Titanic"-wannabe relationship stuff was terrible, but the action scenes were really good.

Since then, I've not found a Bay flick I liked. I never cared for "Bad Boys" and thought the sequel was wholly terrible. "The Island" was okay but no better, and I really disliked "Transformers" - it was a huge disappointment.

I'll still give Bay's new flicks a look, but I don't expect much from them these days. On the other hand, EVERYTHING Boll does sucks - just dull, dull nonsense...
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post #56 of 58
5/3/08 at 8:49pm

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

Quote:
Were "The Rock" and "Armageddon" GOOD movies? No, but they were damned entertaining.

To me, if I am entertained, it is a good movie. I'll take anything by Bay or Boll before watching something like "Gone with the Wind".
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post #57 of 58
5/4/08 at 6:52am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

So, there ya go. One person's "fingernail on a chalkboard" is another person's entertainment.

Now we know who to blame for Boll, and Bay. It's all Scott-S's fault.

FWIW, in my book, The Rock was decent. BloodRayne is entertaining in a Plan 9 sense. I haven't seen any other Boll attempts. The other Bays have been more of the same, ot just painful (Armageddon). The TCM remake he produced was pretty decent though.

I agree with Scott on one issue, none of them is Gone with the Wind.
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post #58 of 58
5/4/08 at 7:10am

Re: Uwe Boll vs. Michael Bay (or Pot vs. Kettle)

What? There's no naked boobies in Gone With the Wind.
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